(no subject)
Title: The Twisting, Turning Path of Love
Author: Seaweed_FMA
Artist: ?
Genre: Family, Hurt/Comfort, Drama, Angst, Romance
Rating: R to NC-17
Word Count ?
Characters/Pairings: Jean Havoc/Rebecca Catalina (main), also Roy Mustang/Riza Hawkeye, Denny Brosh/Maria Ross, and non pairings- Heymans Breda, Vato Falman, Kain Fuery, Gracia and Elysia Hughes, Tim Marcoh, Dr. Knox, General Grumman, and some minor OC's (like Jean's mother).
Warnings: Goes AU after the Promised Day, so spoilers for the whole series. Contains sexual situations and graphic portrayals of death, pregnancy, and childbirth. And of course, I am only playing with Arakawa's characters. I'll give them back when I am done. (Clings to Havoc)
Summary : Jean Havoc thought that his life was finally taking a turn for the better. After having the Philosopher's Stone used on his legs, he was learning how to walk again, and he was happily dating a women (of whom he was confident that Mustang wouldn't steal this time). But one night, something happened that would put him on a twisting, turning path through highs and lows that would change his life forever.
Author's Notes: I have done extensive research to try to make the medical facts as true as I could to the approximate area and time period- the US in the 1920's. It isn't perfect, but it is hard to find much on the subject, so please take the facts with a grain of salt.
The basic idea is based on an online RP that I did with . So, thanks, Emma.
CHAPTER FIVE: The Preparation
After the conversation that night, things were a bit better, albeit a little awkward. Jean knew that even though his stamina was nothing like it had used to be when it came to the simple things like walking and doing other mobile tasks, but he was determined to have some way to take care of his growing family.
As far as he could tell, there was only one choice.
“Ah, Havoc. What brings you in today?” Roy smiled and stood up from his desk when he saw his former Lieutenant enter his office.
Jean found himself standing up straight and saluting.
“No need for that. We are old friends, Jean.” It was rare to hear him use his first name. Even with that, as was customary, he returned the salute, then pointed to a seat. “Please, sit. I heard that you wanted to talk some business.”
Walking up the stairs had taken more out of him that he wanted to admit, and he was glad to sit down, but he tried not to show it. “Yes, sir. I... have a request, if I may.”
Roy leaned forward in his chair from across his desk, his chin in his hands, elbows on the desk. “I am listening.”
“Well, I'm going to be finished with therapy soon, and I will be in the position of trying to get back on my own two feet, rather literally.” that garnered a chuckle from both of them.
“I only get a small stipend from the military, and I was hoping to... supplement that with a job. I don't intend to sit around gathering up military checks for the rest of my life. I am finally starting to get back to a semblance of a normal life, and I intend to make the most of it. But... the problem is, that of course there is no way that I can reenlist in the military. I can't pass the rigorous training in the shape I'm in now. I know you told me that you are going to be waiting for me at the top. Neither of us have quite made it to where we want to be yet, but we both have a pretty good start.”
Roy looked at him slyly. “There is more to this. I can tell. I applaud that you want to do something with your life. And I did tell you that I was waiting for you to catch up. I'm going to have to find a civilian post that gives you the clearance that you had before.”
“Ah, you are pretty slick, sir. I have a feeling that you can come up with something.”
Roy laughed, leaning his head back. “Yes. I am quite sure that I can.” He paused, looking at Jean seriously. “But that doesn't answer my question. I can tell that you look nervous. There is something more to this, and I want to know what it is. So, what is it that is bothering you, Jean?”
“Well.. I... sir...” Man this was tough.. He shifted nervously in his seat. “You know that I have been dating Rebecca- er.. First Lieutenant Catalina.”
“Yes, that's what Riza had told me.”
“Well... I... um...”
“What is it? Out with it.”
“She's... pregnant. I want to buy a house, a true home for her and the baby- a place where we can be a real family.”
Roy's face lit up. “Jean, you dog you. Congratulations.” The smile that was on Roy's face quickly fell when he saw that Jean was not smiling along with him.
“I... take it that this was unexpected news, then.”
“You.. could say that. You remember that office party we had over the winter, the Solstice Party?”
The smile that had faded turned to a look of surprise. He could imagine what had happened, Jean really didn't have to elaborate any more than that. There had been quite a bit of alcohol and good times that night, and he imagined that Jean was not the only one who had gone home with someone that night. The fact that he had gone home with Riza had been kept secret. Everyone knew how they felt for each other, but despite the fact that Grumman had been threatening to repeal that stupid fraternization law, he hadn't done it yet. So for now, they were quiet about their feelings.
“Yeah. So... she called me over and told me and... I kinda of panicked. She got pissed off and told me not to come back. But... this is my kid too. I'm not gonna abandon them.”
“Good for you.” Roy took a large rubber stamp and stamped the piece of paper that Jean had filled out. “You are approved. Welcome to back to the military.”
“But I thought...”
Roy held up his hand. “I have been thinking about it while we have been talking, and I think I have the perfect position for you. It will keep you in the office and shouldn't involve a lot of extra walking around, but it is very important. Since I am in charge of the rebuilding of Ishval, I want you to be my contact man, arranging meetings and relay information. You seem to have a silver tongue while on the phone. You proved that during the preparations for the Promised Day. You will be a civilian contractor for now, but I do expect that you will be able to rejoin the military once your rehabilitation is complete. Don't forget that you promised me.” Roy smiled and extended his hand “So, what do you say?”
For a moment, Jean was speechless. This was his chance, the way to follow him like he promised, and to make his life better for himself, and his now growing family. “I would have to say... when do I start, sir?”
All Roy could do was laugh. “Well it's Thursday, so take the weekend, talk to Lieutenant Catalina and get your affairs in order...” The irony of that statement was not lost on either of them. “And then report back there, 0800 hours on Monday morning.
Jean saluted his superior officer. “Yes sir! And... thanks!” In a flash, Jean was out the door. There was a lot to do in just a few days.
“Good luck, Jean.” Roy said, after Jean had left. “Trying to calm down an upset woman? You're going to need it.”
**
It didn't take long for Jean to settle into the new job. It was a lot of phone tag, just like Roy had explained to him, but that was fine. He had gotten used to communicating by phone when he was setting up the arms for the resistance before the Promised Day, and he had found that he did indeed have a good knack for phone deals.
A few days after starting his job, he called Rebecca to tell her about the job. She was understandably still upset at him, but he explained to her that he was doing this for them, for her, and for the baby, and that all the money that he earned was going for them. She did quietly thank him, but as he hung the phone up that night, he could tell that there was still a lot of work that he was going to have to do if he wanted to win her back. He was ready. He would do anything for her- he knew that now. And if that wasn't love, he wasn't sure what was.
**
Weeks seemed to pass like minutes. When he wasn't working, he was busy trying to get his life together. He only had a scant number of months to do it, and it wasn't going to be easy, but he knew that the rest of his life hung on this.
He saved every cenz that he earned, scraping together the money from his pension, his job, and even some cenz that his mother sent him. She had put a second mortgage on their store, and that gave him enough money to buy a small house. It wasn't much- it had two bedrooms and a bathroom, a decently sized kitchen and a nice living room. It was modest, and that was fine with him. It would be enough for him and Rebecca and their new family.
Between work and therapy, he rallied his friends and coworkers to help him set the house up. Jean swore them to secrecy- he didn't want Rebecca to know what he had done yet, not until it was ready. His apartment was the consummate bachelor's pad, so he had to start from scratch when it came to furnishing and decorating.
Thankfully, he had a lot of friends to make sure that he didn't mess up when it came to decorating the new house. Riza, of course, was the most helpful. She not only had that woman's touch, but she knew Becca better than anyone else, even better than Jean, he had to admit. The rest of the men helped as well. Fuery did some of the wiring, Breda, Falman and Roy made sure that it wasn't going to be too girly- they brought in some nice masculine touches as well. By the time it was done, he was satisfied. He was already living there for the most part, but he made sure that his little apartment looked lived in, and he didn't move too much stuff over. It had to be surprise. He wanted it to be just right.
**
While Jean was busy getting the house in order, he made sure that he kept in touch with Rebecca as much as he could. At first, she would only talk to him over the phone, but as time went on, she let him come over to her apartment a few times- he would always bring flowers, or some takeout Xingese, or if she was getting an usual craving, he would find a market that was open late enough to get her pickles and peanut butter or sardines, or whatever else she desired. Eventually, she went over to his place, where he cooked her dinner- albeit a fairly simple one.
Every time Rebecca went to his apartment, she noticed that it was a little bit different. It was hard to put her finger on it, but there seemed to be something... well... missing. But every time that she asked him about it, he seemed to have an excuse that made sense. 'I lost it', or 'I just wanted a change' or something innocuous like that. And to make it worse, Riza and the rest of the people that she worked with seemed to be hiding something as well. It was subtle, but it was there. They were hiding something from her, and that upset her- a lot.
Finally, everything was ready. Jean knew it was the right time to show her the house that he had made for them- the three of them. He begged off of his after-work rehab so he would have time to get ready. A quick shower, shave and dressing later, he grabbed the extra house key that he was going to give her, and the bouquet of flowers that he had picked up, and drove over to her house, ready to give her the good news.
Jean knocked on her door, nervously adjusting his tie when she opened the door.
“Oh, Jean. I wasn't expecting you.” Rebecca smiled- it was a huge relief that she was genuinely glad to see him, that may not have been the case just a scant few months ago. “Please, come in. You look rather handsome. I almost never see you in a tie.”
He smiled nervously and handed her the flowers, then steeped in. “These.. ah, are for you, Beck.” He gave her a little peck on the cheek when before he closed the door behind him.
“Thanks.” She took them to the kitchen and put them in some water. “Have a seat, you look like a nervous wreck! I hope everything is okay.” She called from the kitchen.
“Oh, everything's fine.” came the response. Actually he was a nervous wreck, but it was for a good reason, so technically it was the truth.
When she was done, she came back out, drying her hands off on a dishtowel, which she threw back on the kitchen counter. “So, to what do I owe the pleasure of your company, Jean?”
Jean stood up and offered her his hand. “Come with me, Beck. I want to show you something..”
“What is it, Jean?” The tone was less than excited- more skeptical than anything else.
“Well, it wouldn't be a surprise if I told you, would it?” He replied, trying to keep up his smile, but he was worried underneath it all.
“You have been hiding something from me. I thought I could trust you, Jean!” Her voice started to rise. She knew that with the pregnancy hormones, her emotions could fluctuate quite a bit, but the fact that the man who claimed to love her was hiding something from her- it could only mean the worst. And the people that she thought were her friends, they seemed to be in on it as well.
“Beck, honey, just come with me, and I promise that I will be able to explain everything.”
“No. You tell me now, or leave.”
'Rebecca, please let me- “
“Jean.. please.... leave.” her voice wavered.. she was on the verge of tears, and Jean did what was instinctual, he leaned down towards her so he could comfort her, but she just turned away from him.
“Please...”
That one word, it was like a stab through the heart- it broke him. She didn't trust him any more .That much was obvious. He had tried to do something good and it backfired. He knew he should have just told her right there and then, but something within him just said that it wasn't the right time
“I love you, Rebecca Catalina. I will never stop loving you, and this child.” Gently, he touched her hand, got up, and without another word, he left, closing the door behind him with a soft click.
CHAPTER SIX: The Waiting
“Riza?”
“Beck, it's nice to hear from you.... what's wrong?” The pain was obvious in her voice, even with just that one word. They had been friends long enough to know when one of them was upset.
“Can... you come over?”
“I'll be right there.”
Less than fifteen minutes later, Riza was on Rebecca's doorstep, knocking. It was clear that Rebecca had been crying when she opened the door. Riza rushed in, closed the door, and hugged her best friend.
“Alright, spill it, what is going on?”
Rebecca took a moment to compose herself, she took a deep breath, and started. She explained how she thought that people were holding something back from her, especially Jean. She had confronted him about it and he just made more excuses, so she told him to leave.
“Oh.”
“What do you mean, oh?”
Riza sighed and shook her head. “I shouldn't be the one to tell you this, but there was a reason that Jean was trying to be secretive.” she paused and Rebecca looked skeptically at her.
“Jean has been saving up his money. He bought a house and has been setting it up. He was going to surprise you with it. He has been working really hard. I know he wants to try to start a life with you and your baby. We've been helping him get it ready.”
The silence in the room was deafening. It all made sense. She had seen him less, he hardly took her out any more. There had been quite a few times that she had called his house and he wasn't there. He must have been at the new house all those times.
“Shit.”
Riza stayed quiet. She didn't want to rub salt in the wounds or anything, but she wanted to give her best friend time to let that all sink in.
“I... guess I should go talk to Jean, shouldn't I?”
“Well, I can't really tell you what to do, but if it was me, I probably would.”
An awkward silence hung over the room again. Rebecca felt totally awful. She hadn't trusted Jean, even with everything that had happened between them, when things had started to look a little better, now things were just as bad as they had been when Jean had panicked about being a father.
“Here.” While Rebecca had been deep in thought, Riza had written an address down on a scrap of paper. “This is the address for the new house. I would be willing to bet that Jean is there right now, if I know him.”
Rebecca looked at the address. She knew that street, it actually was only a few blocks away, a short distance closer to Central Command from where she lived now. She hugged her friend hard- finally a smile came to her face.
“Thanks, Riz. You're a life saver. I'll head there now.”
“Good luck, and be gentle on the poor guy.”
She just laughed, grabbed a coat, and headed out into the cool evening,
**
It didn't take long for her to get to the house. There was a light on in the living room. The house itself was cute, it had a little, low fence that jutted up against the sidewalk, and little bushes lined either side of the walkway up the the house, The house itself was a small one story brick affair, fairly typical, though she did see a chimney for a fireplace, which would be great for those cold winter nights. She could imagine them snuggling under a blanket together in front of a roaring fire.
All three of them... she thought to herself, gently touching her stomach. Over the last few months, her stomach had slowly started to swell. At first it was just a tiny hint of roundness, but she continued to grow, and so did the baby inside of her That made this all so real. It was wonderful- and it scared her to death.
A knock on the door startled Jean out of his half drunk stupor. He had some liquor at the new house- he had been using it as a bribe for the people who came over and helped him move and set up the house. But now it was just him, alone with a half empty bottle of Areugian Vodka.
“Com'n.” Jean slurred slightly. To say that he was surprised when he saw Rebecca standing there in front of him would have been a gross understatement.
“Beck..?”
“Have... you been drinking?”
His eyes canted back to the bottle on the coffee table. It wasn’t like he could hide it, or the stench on his breath. “A little.”
“Um... can.. I come in?” She asked, shivering slightly.
“Oh, yeah. Sorry.” He muttered, letting her in and closing the door. “So... I guess Riza told ya about the place, hm?”
“Yeah.” For a moment, there was no sound in the room except the ticking of the clock on the wall.
“Jean?”
“Hmm?”
“I'm sorry.”
“Me too. I just wanted to give you a nice surprise, but I should have thought it through a little better, I guess.”
Rebecca shrugged, the slightest of smiles on her face. “Well, I think we both could have done things a little better, but... “ She paused and looked around. “The house is really nice. I liked the exterior. Would... you give me a tour of the inside, please?”
“Sure.. of course..” It was a pretty short tour- there was the living/dining room, which they had started in. The kitchen was in front of them, straight across from the front door. To the right was a little hallway. Down the hall were both of the bedrooms and the bathroom. The master bedroom was furnished and ready, and the smaller bedroom had already been set up as a nursery.
When he was done, they ended back in the living room. “Well, it isn't much, but it's home... if... ah... if you want it to be.”
Without hesitation, Rebecca put her arms around him and kissed him all over his neck and cheeks. “Yes, of course. I love it, Jean. You did a wonderful job.” She smiled. “And it looks like you had Riza put in a few things I would like as well. “
“Yeah. Well it's for both of us, not just me. Though... I... um... wasn't sure for a while there.”
And., the awkward silence was back.
“Wait right there..” Jean put up his index finger, then dashed off to one of the rooms down the hall. He was back a few moments later, a big smile plastered on his face.
“Jean, what was -”
Jean gently interrupted her. “Beck, let me explain.” He took a deep breath, then took her hand in his. “I wanted to do this right, this wasn't exactly what I was planning. I was hoping to have a romantic dinner and maybe a walk in the park and all. But....”
He got down on one knee and took out what he had gotten from his bedroom. The box opened, revealing a diamond ring. It wasn't big or extravagant, rather humble- he could only hope that she liked it. But as soon as he saw the tears in her eyes, he knew it was fine.
“So, Rebecca Catalina, will you make me the happiest man in the world and become my wife?”
“Yes, yes I will, Jean.” She wrapped her arms around him and kissed his face over and over. It had been a rough ride so far, but they both wanted to make this work. They loved each other even through all of this. And she knew that they would be happy together.
“I was thinking, we could even get married right now if you want. I'm not big on ceremonies and such, and I know you aren't really either. If you want to, we can go down to the courthouse, have the chief and Riza meet us there. They can be our witnesses.”
“I... I...” Rebecca was literally speechless. She loved this man and she wanted to marry him, but this was all moving fast. Of course, it had to, she was more than halfway along her pregnancy. Thankfully the morning sickness (which was a misnomer- she found out that it could happen any time of the day) had passed, and she had moved onto the peeing every half hour and having lower back pains portion of her pregnancy.
The smile on Jean's face dropped off. He was working so hard to get her back, and the last thing that he wanted to do was to go too far and push her away. “We don't have to, Beck. If you want to wait, we can. I know it's kind of sudd-” He was cut off when she kissed him again, her rough calloused hands touching his cheeks. She was a marksman like he was, they wore their skills and scars on their hands.
One phone call and a short drive down to the courthouse later, they met up with Roy and Riza. It was obvious to everyone who worked with them that Roy and Riza wanted to be more than just coworkers, but they had spent so many years hiding their feelings that they didn't display anything publicly. During the brief ceremony, they stood a couple of feet apart, formal and stiff. The fraternization law had not been repealed, though it was going up for a vote soon, so everyone in the office assumed that there was nothing serious between them.
It was short and sweet, punctuated by a long, sensual kiss when the justice of the peace declared that they were husband and wife. Afterward, Roy took them out for drinks at his aunt's bar. It had just opened a few months before. After the Promised Day, It had taken time to round up the girls, who had scattered when Central was no longer safe. Roy had used his own money to help her build a new, better bar only a few blocks from the last one.
“To new beginnings.” Roy raised his glass, and his other three companions did the same thing. After they had all taken a deep swig, Roy and Riza exchanged glances, a mischevious smile passed between them.
“We should tell them.” Roy said simply.
“Tell us what?” Jean looked just as confused at Rebecca did.
Madame Christmas took that opportunity to walk up and put her thick hand on her nephew's shoulder. “Yes, you should, Roy-Boy. They deserve to know. “
Jean thinned his eyes. He was about tired of this. “Can someone please tell me what is going on? “
A little sigh escaped Roy's lips. “Well, you both know that Fuhrer Grumman has not lifted the ban on fraternization in the military yet.” Both Jean and Rebecca nodded their heads.
“But we spoke with the Fuhrer and he gave us an official waiver. I have actually been married to Riza since about a month after the Promised Day.” Finally, Roy reached over and took Riza's hand, threading their fingers together.
“You sly dog!” Jean laughed and looked over at Rebecca. She looked.. pissed.
“How could you not tell me? I'm your best friend!”
Riza frowned slightly. “I'm sorry. We didn't want to keep this from you guys, but the Fuhrer made us promise to not tell anyone. The only reason the Madame knew is because she is very.... ah... close to the Fuhrer, let's say.”
That brought a rather disgusted look to everyone's face- that was the very last thing that they wanted to think about, the leader of the country's personal life .
“And.. there's something else.” Riza interjected. “Something we haven't even told the Madame yet.” Madame Christmas looked intently at Riza- Roy gave her hand an encouraging squeeze. “We just found out this week... I'm pregnant.”
The silence in the room was deafening.
CHAPTER SEVEN: The Waiting (Redux)
The summer loomed, hot and sticky, over Central City. The fact that it was a particularly hot summer just made Rebecca even more miserable. She was seven and a half months pregnant, and per doctor's order, she was confined to her bed. Less than a week before, she had started to have really bad cramps. Both her and Jean had been scared that the baby was going to be born early.
Their doctor said that the cramps were normal, that usually meant that the baby was moving into position, getting ready to be born. But just in case, he had confined her to bed to be safe. She was huge, and getting around was hard enough already- so there was a little part of her that was almost relieved, but it was going to be a long six weeks, she knew.
The only thing that kept her sane were the almost daily visits from Riza. Every afternoon after work she came to see her best friend. Riza kept her up to date on what was going on at Central Command. The big buzz at the moment were the preparations that were being made for Fuhrer Grumman to step down. He had not officially named who was going to replace him, but it was quite obvious that it was going to be Roy.
Unfortunately, as it got closer to the date that Grumman was going to step down, the visits became less and less often, which made Rebecca more and more frustrated. Jean was busy between his job, his continuing therapy, and trying to make sure that the nursery and everything else was ready for the baby.
Every day seemed to pass terribly slowly, Her routine was the same- wake up, take a shower and get dressed for the day. About the only thing that still fit her was a long nightgown that just further accentuated how large she had grown. By the time that was done, Jean had already made breakfast for her and left for work. She had breakfast, read the paper, and then took a book to bed. The rest of the day centered around reading, going to the restroom, resting, trying to find a comfortable position, eating lunch, repeating the restroom and getting comfortable, then after Jean comes home, dinner, bathroom, and getting comfortable, and then finally some sleep, unless the baby started to kick.
Jean, for his part, was a doting husband and father to be. Despite his hectic schedule, he did everything he could for Rebecca, when she was sore he would rub her back and her feet, he would get her whatever food she wanted when he was home, and he even went out late at night to feed her odd food cravings- including odd foods that she had never eaten before.
The first week after the order to stay in bed, she was constantly scared that she was going to go into labor early- she knew the baby needed more time to develop. But the longer that she stayed in bed, the better she felt about being able to having a healthy baby. The routine, though boring, helped her keep her mind focused, which helped her keep calm.
The eight month passed, and she was generally more relaxed, but she was still antsy and frustrated and lonely. It was only a couple of weeks before Grumman was going to step down, and Roy and Riza, despite her being several months pregnant, were so busy that they barely talked any more.
**
A few days later, it was a pretty typical evening. Since it was a Saturday, Jean had only had a short day at work, so he had been home for most of the evening. She was relaxing in bed while Jean was in the living room, cleaning guns and listening to the news over the radio. It had finally been formally announced that Roy was going to replace Fuhrer Grumman when he stepped down in only ten days. All of the talking heads were of course debating the choice, whether Roy was a good choice to become Fuhrer or not with his past record in Ishval. One of the debaters mentioned Brigadier General Armstrong, but it was agreed by the rest of them that that she would rule with fear, and after the short amount of relative peace that the country had enjoyed under the current administration, no one wanted to live in fear any more.
Throughout the evening, Rebecca had been having some soft cramps again, but that wasn't too unusual. They had been coming and going since she had been stuck in bed, so she was not worried about them. She had been warned that as she got closer to her due date, the cramps would come more often and would slowly get worse. It was the body's way of getting ready to birth the baby.
But after a few hours, the cramps continued to get worse and worse, she did start to worry some. She tried the normal tricks that usually helped,- the ones that the doctors had suggested- taking a hot shower, sitting up in bed, but they still continued to worsen.
Finally, she called out to Jean. “Jean, honey, come here please.”
A moment later, he popped his head in the door, smiling goofily. “Yes, Becca, dear?” He asked with a grin. “Is there something I can get you? Pickles? Ice cream? Peanut butter and cheese?” Those had been a few of the odd cravings she had been asking for recently.
“Jean.. I don't mean to alarm you, but...” His face immediately dropped. “I... think we should go to the hospital. These cramps are getting worse...” She had to stop and wait for a particularly bad cramp to pass, her face scrunched up in pain. By the time she was going to talk again, he had dashed in and was right by her side.
“Okay, let's get you to the car..” He didn't even let her finish what she was going to say. He knew it was early, but that baby certainly seemed grown enough, she was huge- of course he would never tell her that. She already complained about it enough, and to him it was beautiful- that was their child in there, his and hers, and no matter how big she got, no matter how many stretch marks came about, he thought she was the most beautiful woman in the world.
Inside Jean was panicking, but he was trying to keep a calm exterior. It seemed like an eternity before he was finally able to get her to the car. Between the cramps and her size, it was somewhat slow going. The moment she was in, he sped off, not really caring about getting a speeding ticket. It wasn't late enough in the day for the roads to be empty, but the worst of the traffic had already dissipated.
Jean parked the car right outside the emergency room door and helped her into the hospital, who immediately put her onto a gurney and wheeled her off, leaving a stunned, still panicking Jean in the now empty waiting room.
The silence in the room was deafening. There was only one nurse at the counter, but she was silently doing her work, and didn't pay him any mind. Over in the corner, a cigarette machine silently mocked him. He had given them up months ago, as soon as he had found out Rebecca was pregnant. But now, he had nothing to do but pace and worry and hope his wife and their child was going to be alright.
Instead of giving in to temptation, he walked over to the payphone in the corner and made a call.
“Mustang residence.”
“Hey, Roy. I.. I'm at the hospital. Beck went into labor early.”
“Is everything alright?” The worry was obvious in his voice.
“Well, I just got here, so I guess it will be a while before I hear anything,.”
“Riza and I'll be down there in a bit. No need to suffer alone.”
“Oh, you don't have to.” he looked at a clock on the wall- it was a few minutes after ten. “I'm sure that Riza is tired.”
“We don't mind. Besides, you can pay me back in a few months, right?” Both of the men laughed heartily.
“You have what... six months left to go?”
“Yeah, about that.”
“At least I can tell you what to expect. She should be getting to the going to the bathroom all the time and having weird food cravings' stage pretty soon. “
“You aren't helping, Havoc.” Roy's voice got grim. Jean just laughed.
“Just giving you the truth there, chief!”
“Anyway, we will be there in about fifteen minutes. Just sit tight.”
“Like I have a choice.”
True to his word it was right at fifteen minutes later when they walked into the waiting room, only to find a very disheveled Jean pacing back and forth, running his hands through his spiky hair.
“Any news yet?”
Jean shook his head. “Not yet.”
Riza smiled at Jean. “It'll be fine, Jean. These are some of the best doctors in all of Amestris.”
Jean nodded and smiled back., Riza only had the slightest hint of roundness to her, but she just glowed. He could see it in the smile on her face.
They settled into a friendly conversation. It was a good way to pass the time and try not to worry about what was happening behind those two thick double doors that closed off the waiting room from the rest of the hospital.
One hour of conversation became two, then three. Around one in the morning, Roy drove Riza home to let her get some rest. He had insisted that she needed to sleep. Despite her insistence that she wasn’t infirm, she knew deep down it would be best for her and the baby to get a full night's rest in a normal bed.
It was close to two in the morning before Roy returned, but there had still been no update. The nurse had tried to warn him that labor can last anywhere from a couple of hours up to twelve hours or more, and that there was nothing to do but wait.
By the time the first rays of the sun were shining through the large windows of the waiting room, Jean and Roy had pretty much run out of things to talk about. Jean was, once again, a huge bundle of nerves. It had been close to eight hours, and there was still no word from the doctor.
He had no sooner walked over to the nurse to insist that he get some information when a doctor came out, still in blue scrubs, pulling the blue head covering off and removing his rubber gloves.
“Jean Havoc?”
“Yes?” His heart raised into his throat. This was it. What was the doctor going to say? His face looked impassive, impossible to read. His heart raced, time seemed to stand still until the doctor finally spoke.
“Your wife is progressing, but it is much slower than we would like. Her cervix needs to be dilated to 8 centimeters, and she has not gotten there yet. There's not much that we can do to move it along. If nothing has started to happen in the new few hours, were are going to have to think about surgery. I won't sugar coat it, that's dangerous to the mother and the fetus. But we are not going to do that unless we have to. I'll give you an update as soon as I have one. “
Jean was in shock.. Surgery? Danger? She had been happy when she came in, even though she had been in pain. It was killing him to not be able to be with her. Why couldn't he be there with her? What if... the worst happened?
“T-t-thank you..” it was all he was able to say before the doctor head back through the double doors.
**
By the middle of the morning, both Jean and Roy were running on empty, they took turns napping on the hard, uncomfortable chairs in the waiting room. They saw all sorts of people come in, injuries, illnesses, people came and went while they waited, waited, waited. It was all that they could do.
Riza arrived back at the hospital close to lunch time, she had taken a cab to surprise them. They both agreed that it was nice to have her back- the conversation picked up for a little bit, but Jean was still only in the conversation halfheartedly, His mind was back behind those doors, in the delivery room, where the woman he loved was suffering without him.
Jean was napping lightly while Roy and Riza chatted when the doctor came back out. Roy was about to wake him, but with the squeak of those double doors, Jean was immediately awake and up on his feet, meeting the doctor halfway across the room. Once again, the doctor had the same unreadable look on his face, frustrating the blond man even more.
“Mr Havoc? Congratulations.”
CHAPTER EIGHT: The Birth
Jean's breath caught in his throat, the world suddenly stopped.
“Congratulations. Your wife gave birth to a baby girl. She's a bit on the small side- four pounds. fourteen ounces. She's having a little trouble breathing, but that is not unusual for a baby that small. We are helping her, and we're confident that she should be breathing on her own once she gets a little bit stronger.”
All the clouds of doubt and fear lifted from around him. A father... he was a father! A smile spread across his face, and Roy slapped him on the back. “Congratulations, Jean. Have fun with your years of diaper changes that you can look forward to!” Roy smirked while Jean tried to flash him an evil look, but he was so happy that it just didn't stick.
“Don't forget,” Jean countered, “that you are only six months behind me when it comes to that!” The crestfallen look on Roy's face made the comment worth it. Even Riza joined in on laughing at the sulking alchemist.
“Ahem.” The doctor cleared his throat, his face still looking grim. “Your wife is still in labor..” That stopped the conversation dead, and made Jean's jaw drop.
“Wait... you mean... t-t-wins?”
“Yes. I have to get back to the delivery room. Twins usually born fairly close together. I need to see how she is progressing. I will give you an update as soon as I can.”
The doctor turned to leave, but Jean reached out and touched his arm, stopping him and making him turn back towards the blond. “Wait.. I want to see them.”
“You will get to see them as soon as the second child is born. No one other than doctors are allowed in the delivery room. We told you that already.” He didn’t give Jean time to respond before he turned around and went back through the double doors. And with that, he was gone again, leaving a stunned Jean to pick up his mouth from the floor.
“T-t-t-twins?” His voice was a soft whimper. All Roy and Riza could do was look at each other, just as stunned as he was.
“Congratulations, Jean. You're going to have your hands full with a couple of kids.” Roy pat him on the back softer this time. “You know that Riza and I will help you however we can, though we will have our hands full pretty soon, too.” He smiled and gently rubbed at his wife's stomach.
“I... I...” Jean slumped down into a chair. He had a daughter, and now he was going to have another child. They were hardly ready for one kid, he had no idea how they were going to handle two. They only had one of everything- crib, rocking chair, etc. He let out a deep breath and ran his hand through his hair. The house was big enough for three, but it wouldn't hold four for long, the older the kids got, the more cramped the house was going to get.
He figured he had maybe a couple of months, if the babies were small enough they could share a crib for a little bit, but that would have to be rectified pretty quickly. The nursery was the smaller of the two rooms. They could switch the master bedroom and the nursery, that would give them more room for a second crib, but even then it would be a tight fit. The whole house was barely 1000 square feet, and that was due to a nice sized living room.
It would be possible to have a crib in the living room for a short time, but that again would only be a temporary measure. He had scraped together everything he could for this house, and it wasn't going to be enough. Every possible suggestion he could think of was only a very temporary fix. He had no idea how they were going to do this.
Roy and Riza exchanged worried looks. They could tell he was deep in thought, and they were not happy ones, despite what he had just leaned. “We'll help you go shopping,” Riza said softly. “Don't worry, people have twins all the time. Just think, that is twice the love you can give, and twice the love you will get back.”
“Yeah..” Jean sounded distracted. “I.. just hope they are both okay.”
“We do too, Jean.”
**
An hour passed like a day before the double doors opened again and the doctor came out for a third and final time.
All three of them stood up as if on cue, holding their breaths, hoping to hear
“Mr. Havoc?”
“Yes?”
“Your daughter is doing better. She is already breathing better and we think that she is going to be able to breathe on her own soon. She is mostly breathing on her own, with a little bit of help, and we are tying to slowly wean her onto breathing unassisted as she continues to improve.”
“And... my other baby?” The fact that he had led off with his daughter made him imagine the worst.
“A boy.” He started, the doctor's voice dropping a little lower. “Three pounds, ten ounces. He wasn't breathing when he was born. Right now we have him in intensive care. Things are going to be very touch and go with him for a while. He is fighting, but he is so small, it is going to be a very long road to get him healthy. We will of course do everything that I can, but you have to be prepared for the possibility that he might not make it.”
The world dropped out from under Jean. He hadn't even met his son yet, and here he was, on the verge of tears, because his son might die before he even got a chance to see him.
The room was deathly silent. No one was quite sure what to say. All of the happiness that came from the birth of his daughter had been overshadowed by the fact that his son was now desperately clinging to life.
And there was nothing they could do about it.
The helplessness was the worst part. All they could do was put their faith in the doctors and wait for what they all hoped would be good news.
“I want to see them.” Jean said in a no-nonsense tone.
“Your wife should be wheeled to her recovery room soon, I can take you to see her. And if your daughter continues to improve and she is breathing on her own, then we will let her stay in the room as well. But for the well being of your son, he needs to stay in Intensive Care. We will continue to monitor his situation, and if he improves, you two will be able to see him, but right now he is being worked on and must be isolated.”
“Jean, go be with Rebecca. We're going to go home, you two need some time. Call me as soon as you know anything at all, I don't care what time of day or night it is.” Roy pat his shoulder lightly again. “Give Rebecca our best. We will come back to visit later tonight or tomorrow. “
It was awkward, Roy and Riza felt like a third wheel, listening to both the good an bad news in Jean;'s life, they felt like a fly on the wall, privy to information that should be private. They quietly left while the doctor continued to talk to Jean.
“Come with me, please. She should be in her room by now.” The hospital was like a maze through those double doors, the door that he had been cursing since he came in- they separated him from his love while she suffered though the birth of twins. He wasn't there, they hadn't let him be there and it killed him that she had to suffer along.
The whole time as they walked he couldn't stop thinking about his son. He was fighting for his life, and Jean was helpless to do anything for him. He might not ever get to see his son alive, and that just broke his heart. He hadn't been expecting twins, but now that they were here, he wanted to take them home, watch them grow and thrive and become big and strong.
And as of right now, he wasn't sure if either of them were going to survive.
Was there something that he had done wrong? Maybe he could have made her rest more? Or maybe he should have been faster in getting to hospital? A million thoughts ran through his head. What could he have done to give his children a fighting chance to live?
After only a couple of twists and turns of following the doctor, he was well and truly lost. Finally they stopped at a door marked 115. It was closed, and he couldn’t hear any noises coming from behind it, worrying him even further.
“She is inside, Please try to be quiet when entering, she may be sleeping. If she is, let her sleep, she needs her rest. She is very weak. She's been through a lot. ”
Jean bit back a sarcastic comment. She wasn’t the only one who had been through a lot, was his first thought, but of course she was the one who had just gone through over twelve hours of labor. He felt awful for even thinking that he had gone through as much as she had. He wondered, had she been able to see her babies as they were being born.
“Of course. Thank you.” Jean nodded. The doctor turned and left. Jean took a deep breath, put his hand on the knob, and opened the door.
CHAPTER NINE: The Baby
“Beck, honey?” When he stuck his head in the door, the room was dark and quiet. The curtains were drawn across the windows, leaving only small shafts of light that danced across the floor.
There was no answer, so he closed the door and walked over to the bed. Rebecca was sleeping soundly. He could see a fine sheen of sweat on her forehead and she was pale- he wondered how much blood she had lost through this ordeal.
Oh, he wanted to wake her up and kiss her all over and tell her how much he loved her and that he was so proud of her for bringing two lives into this world. But he remembered what the doctor has told him. She has indeed been through a lot, and so he waited. He took her hand and held it gently, whispering to her how much he loved her while he waited for her to wake, hoping that maybe the doctor would come in and give them both good news.
Jean had no idea how long it was before she finally started to stir.
“Hey, love..” Jean smiled and leaned down, kissing her softly on the forehead.
“Nnn... J..Jean?”
“Yes, love?”
Rebecca shot up into a sitting position, then leaned forward, clutching her side. The sudden movement left a shooting pain in her side.
“Jean.. my baby.. where's my baby?” Did she really only know about one of them, he wondered to himself.
“Beck, honey, lay down.” He helped her lay back down. “You.. you had twins, love. I'm not sure how much you remember. The doctor told me our daughter.. she was having trouble breathing, but she was improving but.. but.. our son.” it was all he could do to keep himself together.. He had to be strong- for her. “He's not doing so well. They said he is really small, and he can't breathe on his own. They don't know what's going to happen to him.. “ Tears pricked at the corners of his eyes. “He's a fighter, our little guy.”
“And... our daughter?”
“If she continues to improve then she will be wheeled in here as soon as she is strong enough. I guess she is stubborn, like her mom.” He chuckled- it was a weak attempt to bring humor to the situation, but it fell short. Here they were, new parents that had no baby to hold and smile at and kiss. It all seemed so hollow.
“Maybe... they will let us see him.”
“They wouldn't before, but we can certainly ask.” Jean kissed her forehead softly, brushing her slightly matted hair back from her eyes. She had worked so hard, it killed him that he couldn't be there to help her, but the hospital rules were absolute.
Rebecca nodded softly, closing her eyes and laying back on the pillow. She felt so totally helpless here, It was just her and him, alone, They were both desperately hanging onto the hope that they were going to see their daughter soon, but their son, they had no idea about how he was doing, other than the vague statement that he was still clinging to life.
While Rebecca managed to get a little bit more sleep, Jean watched over her protectively. Every little noise that she made broke him out of his deep thoughts. He was hyper aware of every little noise in the room, and all the beeping and talking and such that was going on just outside their door.
A knock at the door woke Rebecca up from her light, troubled sleep. As soon as the door opened, they could both hear the soft crying. Jean jumped to his feet and Rebecca jolted up into a sitting position, which she immediately regretted. A shooting pain went up her side and she hissed softly in pain.
'Beck!”
“I'm okay, Jean. Really.” She looked anxiously at the door, and Jean's eyes, which had just been on her, followed suit. The doctor walked in first, and behind him an nurse was rolling a small gurney with high walls on the side. The walls were clear, so they could see inside.
Inside, under a thick blanket and covered with a pink knit cap was a crying, squirming baby... their daughter.
“She's being doing really well. We will be in frequently to check on her, and be sure to get our attention if you notice anything out of the ordinary with her, such as her lips turning blue, having trouble breathing, coughing, or anything else of the sort.
“T-t-thank you, doctor.” Jean almost stumbled forward, until he was standing over the gurney. Tears pricked at the sides of his eyes. He wanted to pick her up, but he had no idea how to do it. Thankfully, the nurse came to the rescue. She picked the baby up and rocked her a little bit, trying to get her to calm down.
“She's been this way since we moved her to this bassinet.” She explained with a smile. “I guess she was anxious to see her mom and dad.” All Jean could do was smile back. His breath was literally taken away by this tiny, wriggling thing in her arms.
“Here, put your arms like mine.” Jean studied her arms and put his in about the same position. Before he could say that he was ready, she gently put in in the crook he had made between his arm and his body. “Okay, support her head like this..” She moved his arm a little to give his daughter a better angle in which to rest. “And your hand here.. support her bottom.. There you go. You got it. You are a natural.”
He certainly didn't feel like a natural, but as soon as she was in his arms, her crying calmed a little. He wanted to turn around and show Rebecca, but he was so scared.. She was tiny and fragile.. and he was afraid to move at all. He stood stiff and scared for a few moments before the nurse finally intervened, taking the baby from him and walking over to Rebecca. She was a bit more of a natural when it came to holding the baby. Within a few short heartbeats, she was gently rocking their baby back and forth, humming to her softly, and she had stopped crying altogether.
“I guess she's a mama's girl.” Jean quipped with a giant grin. He walked over and sat on the edge of the bed, watching the mother/daughter bonding.
“She was probably crying because she is hungry.” The nurse said, after giving them a couple of minutes of quiet bonding. They had been so engrossed in their daughter that they hadn’t noticed that the doctor had left. Jean cursed under his breath. He had wanted to ask about their son. But for now, it would be best to focus on her.
The hospital really had thought of everything. Her gown opened in the front, making it much easier for her to free her breasts to feed. Rebecca blushed a bit. She had never exposed herself with so many other people around her. But the nurse was patient. She let Rebecca get comfortable with the idea, and then- carefully, while balancing her daughter in her other arm, she unbuttoned the front of the gown and exposed her right breast.
Oh, Jean wanted to say something. He looked at his wife with the most mischievous grin on his face. But this was not the time, and he wisely bit his lip and kept his mouth shut, watching his wife get ready to breast feed their child.
“Alright, usually babies are really good about latching on as soon as you get them close.” The nurse started. She helped Rebecca re-situate the baby and leaned her up towards the nipple. It took a couple of times, but finally she realized what to do. She clamped down and started to feed.
“That.. feels weird..” She admitted with a little grin.
“I'm jealous!” Jean knew he could get away with the comment now, she couldn't retaliate, at least for the moment. She did shoot him a look that promised that she wouldn't forget this, and he wilted a bit under her gaze. It was worth it.
“Okay, I'll leave you three alone right now. If you have any questions or problems we will be rihgt outside at the nurse's station. And don't forget, when she is done, put down one of our burp cloths here, put her on your shoulder, and gently rub her back until she burps. She will throw up, but that is normal. Don't worry.” With a nod and a smile, she was gone.
Jean wanted to say something profound, something romantic, but all he could come up with was “Wow.” Rebecca rolled her eyes and smiled.
“We need to come up with a name, you know.”
Silence permeated the room while the thought about it. “What about Rachel? After your grandmother?” He asked. “You always talk fondly about her.”
“Really, you... wouldn't mind? I.. I loved her very much. She was almost as much of a mom as my mom was.” She admitted. “I'ts a shame that you never got to meet her. I would love to name her after her.” Rebecca looked down at her still nursing daughter. “What do you think, my love? Do you like the name Rachel?” She didn't cease what she was doing, she just kept on suckling softly.
“Well, she didn't say no.” Jean chuckled.
“Rachel it is then.”
**
One spit up/burp later, Rachel was comfortably laying in Rebecca's arms while she slept soundly. They hadn't talked about it, but they both new it would have to be brought up. They had named her.. and they hadn't discussed what to name their son- the son that they had not yet seen.
Finally, Jean cleared his throat softly. “Beck.. I...” He gulped, this was hard to say, but he knew that it had to be done. “I.. think we need to talk about.. our son.”
The smile that had been on her face fell. “I know.. “ She looked down at Rachel, so happy and peaceful, unaware of the problems of a sibling that she didn't know.
“What about.. Jack?” She whispered, not wanting to wake Rachel. “I know your father died when you were a teenager. That must have been hard.”
Jean nodded. “I.. looked a lot like him. I was their only kid. They both came from big farming families, and my parents had problems having any kids. There was only me. I have lots of cousins, and some of them helped with the store sometimes, but it was mostly the three of us.. then the two of us. That's why it was really tough when I joined the military, Then it was only my mom. Thankfully she did have help. But it was a sore spot between us for a while.”
'I'm sorry. We don't have to name him Jack if you don't-”
“No.. I.. I'd love to.” he replied in a whisper. “I'm sure my mom would love that.”
Rebecca smiled at him, and he smiled back, a sad, but still satisfied smile. He bit back what he was thinking. 'I just hope we get to see him, I don't want the other Jack to leave me too.'
Author: Seaweed_FMA
Artist: ?
Genre: Family, Hurt/Comfort, Drama, Angst, Romance
Rating: R to NC-17
Word Count ?
Characters/Pairings: Jean Havoc/Rebecca Catalina (main), also Roy Mustang/Riza Hawkeye, Denny Brosh/Maria Ross, and non pairings- Heymans Breda, Vato Falman, Kain Fuery, Gracia and Elysia Hughes, Tim Marcoh, Dr. Knox, General Grumman, and some minor OC's (like Jean's mother).
Warnings: Goes AU after the Promised Day, so spoilers for the whole series. Contains sexual situations and graphic portrayals of death, pregnancy, and childbirth. And of course, I am only playing with Arakawa's characters. I'll give them back when I am done. (Clings to Havoc)
Summary : Jean Havoc thought that his life was finally taking a turn for the better. After having the Philosopher's Stone used on his legs, he was learning how to walk again, and he was happily dating a women (of whom he was confident that Mustang wouldn't steal this time). But one night, something happened that would put him on a twisting, turning path through highs and lows that would change his life forever.
Author's Notes: I have done extensive research to try to make the medical facts as true as I could to the approximate area and time period- the US in the 1920's. It isn't perfect, but it is hard to find much on the subject, so please take the facts with a grain of salt.
The basic idea is based on an online RP that I did with . So, thanks, Emma.
CHAPTER FIVE: The Preparation
After the conversation that night, things were a bit better, albeit a little awkward. Jean knew that even though his stamina was nothing like it had used to be when it came to the simple things like walking and doing other mobile tasks, but he was determined to have some way to take care of his growing family.
As far as he could tell, there was only one choice.
“Ah, Havoc. What brings you in today?” Roy smiled and stood up from his desk when he saw his former Lieutenant enter his office.
Jean found himself standing up straight and saluting.
“No need for that. We are old friends, Jean.” It was rare to hear him use his first name. Even with that, as was customary, he returned the salute, then pointed to a seat. “Please, sit. I heard that you wanted to talk some business.”
Walking up the stairs had taken more out of him that he wanted to admit, and he was glad to sit down, but he tried not to show it. “Yes, sir. I... have a request, if I may.”
Roy leaned forward in his chair from across his desk, his chin in his hands, elbows on the desk. “I am listening.”
“Well, I'm going to be finished with therapy soon, and I will be in the position of trying to get back on my own two feet, rather literally.” that garnered a chuckle from both of them.
“I only get a small stipend from the military, and I was hoping to... supplement that with a job. I don't intend to sit around gathering up military checks for the rest of my life. I am finally starting to get back to a semblance of a normal life, and I intend to make the most of it. But... the problem is, that of course there is no way that I can reenlist in the military. I can't pass the rigorous training in the shape I'm in now. I know you told me that you are going to be waiting for me at the top. Neither of us have quite made it to where we want to be yet, but we both have a pretty good start.”
Roy looked at him slyly. “There is more to this. I can tell. I applaud that you want to do something with your life. And I did tell you that I was waiting for you to catch up. I'm going to have to find a civilian post that gives you the clearance that you had before.”
“Ah, you are pretty slick, sir. I have a feeling that you can come up with something.”
Roy laughed, leaning his head back. “Yes. I am quite sure that I can.” He paused, looking at Jean seriously. “But that doesn't answer my question. I can tell that you look nervous. There is something more to this, and I want to know what it is. So, what is it that is bothering you, Jean?”
“Well.. I... sir...” Man this was tough.. He shifted nervously in his seat. “You know that I have been dating Rebecca- er.. First Lieutenant Catalina.”
“Yes, that's what Riza had told me.”
“Well... I... um...”
“What is it? Out with it.”
“She's... pregnant. I want to buy a house, a true home for her and the baby- a place where we can be a real family.”
Roy's face lit up. “Jean, you dog you. Congratulations.” The smile that was on Roy's face quickly fell when he saw that Jean was not smiling along with him.
“I... take it that this was unexpected news, then.”
“You.. could say that. You remember that office party we had over the winter, the Solstice Party?”
The smile that had faded turned to a look of surprise. He could imagine what had happened, Jean really didn't have to elaborate any more than that. There had been quite a bit of alcohol and good times that night, and he imagined that Jean was not the only one who had gone home with someone that night. The fact that he had gone home with Riza had been kept secret. Everyone knew how they felt for each other, but despite the fact that Grumman had been threatening to repeal that stupid fraternization law, he hadn't done it yet. So for now, they were quiet about their feelings.
“Yeah. So... she called me over and told me and... I kinda of panicked. She got pissed off and told me not to come back. But... this is my kid too. I'm not gonna abandon them.”
“Good for you.” Roy took a large rubber stamp and stamped the piece of paper that Jean had filled out. “You are approved. Welcome to back to the military.”
“But I thought...”
Roy held up his hand. “I have been thinking about it while we have been talking, and I think I have the perfect position for you. It will keep you in the office and shouldn't involve a lot of extra walking around, but it is very important. Since I am in charge of the rebuilding of Ishval, I want you to be my contact man, arranging meetings and relay information. You seem to have a silver tongue while on the phone. You proved that during the preparations for the Promised Day. You will be a civilian contractor for now, but I do expect that you will be able to rejoin the military once your rehabilitation is complete. Don't forget that you promised me.” Roy smiled and extended his hand “So, what do you say?”
For a moment, Jean was speechless. This was his chance, the way to follow him like he promised, and to make his life better for himself, and his now growing family. “I would have to say... when do I start, sir?”
All Roy could do was laugh. “Well it's Thursday, so take the weekend, talk to Lieutenant Catalina and get your affairs in order...” The irony of that statement was not lost on either of them. “And then report back there, 0800 hours on Monday morning.
Jean saluted his superior officer. “Yes sir! And... thanks!” In a flash, Jean was out the door. There was a lot to do in just a few days.
“Good luck, Jean.” Roy said, after Jean had left. “Trying to calm down an upset woman? You're going to need it.”
**
It didn't take long for Jean to settle into the new job. It was a lot of phone tag, just like Roy had explained to him, but that was fine. He had gotten used to communicating by phone when he was setting up the arms for the resistance before the Promised Day, and he had found that he did indeed have a good knack for phone deals.
A few days after starting his job, he called Rebecca to tell her about the job. She was understandably still upset at him, but he explained to her that he was doing this for them, for her, and for the baby, and that all the money that he earned was going for them. She did quietly thank him, but as he hung the phone up that night, he could tell that there was still a lot of work that he was going to have to do if he wanted to win her back. He was ready. He would do anything for her- he knew that now. And if that wasn't love, he wasn't sure what was.
**
Weeks seemed to pass like minutes. When he wasn't working, he was busy trying to get his life together. He only had a scant number of months to do it, and it wasn't going to be easy, but he knew that the rest of his life hung on this.
He saved every cenz that he earned, scraping together the money from his pension, his job, and even some cenz that his mother sent him. She had put a second mortgage on their store, and that gave him enough money to buy a small house. It wasn't much- it had two bedrooms and a bathroom, a decently sized kitchen and a nice living room. It was modest, and that was fine with him. It would be enough for him and Rebecca and their new family.
Between work and therapy, he rallied his friends and coworkers to help him set the house up. Jean swore them to secrecy- he didn't want Rebecca to know what he had done yet, not until it was ready. His apartment was the consummate bachelor's pad, so he had to start from scratch when it came to furnishing and decorating.
Thankfully, he had a lot of friends to make sure that he didn't mess up when it came to decorating the new house. Riza, of course, was the most helpful. She not only had that woman's touch, but she knew Becca better than anyone else, even better than Jean, he had to admit. The rest of the men helped as well. Fuery did some of the wiring, Breda, Falman and Roy made sure that it wasn't going to be too girly- they brought in some nice masculine touches as well. By the time it was done, he was satisfied. He was already living there for the most part, but he made sure that his little apartment looked lived in, and he didn't move too much stuff over. It had to be surprise. He wanted it to be just right.
**
While Jean was busy getting the house in order, he made sure that he kept in touch with Rebecca as much as he could. At first, she would only talk to him over the phone, but as time went on, she let him come over to her apartment a few times- he would always bring flowers, or some takeout Xingese, or if she was getting an usual craving, he would find a market that was open late enough to get her pickles and peanut butter or sardines, or whatever else she desired. Eventually, she went over to his place, where he cooked her dinner- albeit a fairly simple one.
Every time Rebecca went to his apartment, she noticed that it was a little bit different. It was hard to put her finger on it, but there seemed to be something... well... missing. But every time that she asked him about it, he seemed to have an excuse that made sense. 'I lost it', or 'I just wanted a change' or something innocuous like that. And to make it worse, Riza and the rest of the people that she worked with seemed to be hiding something as well. It was subtle, but it was there. They were hiding something from her, and that upset her- a lot.
Finally, everything was ready. Jean knew it was the right time to show her the house that he had made for them- the three of them. He begged off of his after-work rehab so he would have time to get ready. A quick shower, shave and dressing later, he grabbed the extra house key that he was going to give her, and the bouquet of flowers that he had picked up, and drove over to her house, ready to give her the good news.
Jean knocked on her door, nervously adjusting his tie when she opened the door.
“Oh, Jean. I wasn't expecting you.” Rebecca smiled- it was a huge relief that she was genuinely glad to see him, that may not have been the case just a scant few months ago. “Please, come in. You look rather handsome. I almost never see you in a tie.”
He smiled nervously and handed her the flowers, then steeped in. “These.. ah, are for you, Beck.” He gave her a little peck on the cheek when before he closed the door behind him.
“Thanks.” She took them to the kitchen and put them in some water. “Have a seat, you look like a nervous wreck! I hope everything is okay.” She called from the kitchen.
“Oh, everything's fine.” came the response. Actually he was a nervous wreck, but it was for a good reason, so technically it was the truth.
When she was done, she came back out, drying her hands off on a dishtowel, which she threw back on the kitchen counter. “So, to what do I owe the pleasure of your company, Jean?”
Jean stood up and offered her his hand. “Come with me, Beck. I want to show you something..”
“What is it, Jean?” The tone was less than excited- more skeptical than anything else.
“Well, it wouldn't be a surprise if I told you, would it?” He replied, trying to keep up his smile, but he was worried underneath it all.
“You have been hiding something from me. I thought I could trust you, Jean!” Her voice started to rise. She knew that with the pregnancy hormones, her emotions could fluctuate quite a bit, but the fact that the man who claimed to love her was hiding something from her- it could only mean the worst. And the people that she thought were her friends, they seemed to be in on it as well.
“Beck, honey, just come with me, and I promise that I will be able to explain everything.”
“No. You tell me now, or leave.”
'Rebecca, please let me- “
“Jean.. please.... leave.” her voice wavered.. she was on the verge of tears, and Jean did what was instinctual, he leaned down towards her so he could comfort her, but she just turned away from him.
“Please...”
That one word, it was like a stab through the heart- it broke him. She didn't trust him any more .That much was obvious. He had tried to do something good and it backfired. He knew he should have just told her right there and then, but something within him just said that it wasn't the right time
“I love you, Rebecca Catalina. I will never stop loving you, and this child.” Gently, he touched her hand, got up, and without another word, he left, closing the door behind him with a soft click.
CHAPTER SIX: The Waiting
“Riza?”
“Beck, it's nice to hear from you.... what's wrong?” The pain was obvious in her voice, even with just that one word. They had been friends long enough to know when one of them was upset.
“Can... you come over?”
“I'll be right there.”
Less than fifteen minutes later, Riza was on Rebecca's doorstep, knocking. It was clear that Rebecca had been crying when she opened the door. Riza rushed in, closed the door, and hugged her best friend.
“Alright, spill it, what is going on?”
Rebecca took a moment to compose herself, she took a deep breath, and started. She explained how she thought that people were holding something back from her, especially Jean. She had confronted him about it and he just made more excuses, so she told him to leave.
“Oh.”
“What do you mean, oh?”
Riza sighed and shook her head. “I shouldn't be the one to tell you this, but there was a reason that Jean was trying to be secretive.” she paused and Rebecca looked skeptically at her.
“Jean has been saving up his money. He bought a house and has been setting it up. He was going to surprise you with it. He has been working really hard. I know he wants to try to start a life with you and your baby. We've been helping him get it ready.”
The silence in the room was deafening. It all made sense. She had seen him less, he hardly took her out any more. There had been quite a few times that she had called his house and he wasn't there. He must have been at the new house all those times.
“Shit.”
Riza stayed quiet. She didn't want to rub salt in the wounds or anything, but she wanted to give her best friend time to let that all sink in.
“I... guess I should go talk to Jean, shouldn't I?”
“Well, I can't really tell you what to do, but if it was me, I probably would.”
An awkward silence hung over the room again. Rebecca felt totally awful. She hadn't trusted Jean, even with everything that had happened between them, when things had started to look a little better, now things were just as bad as they had been when Jean had panicked about being a father.
“Here.” While Rebecca had been deep in thought, Riza had written an address down on a scrap of paper. “This is the address for the new house. I would be willing to bet that Jean is there right now, if I know him.”
Rebecca looked at the address. She knew that street, it actually was only a few blocks away, a short distance closer to Central Command from where she lived now. She hugged her friend hard- finally a smile came to her face.
“Thanks, Riz. You're a life saver. I'll head there now.”
“Good luck, and be gentle on the poor guy.”
She just laughed, grabbed a coat, and headed out into the cool evening,
**
It didn't take long for her to get to the house. There was a light on in the living room. The house itself was cute, it had a little, low fence that jutted up against the sidewalk, and little bushes lined either side of the walkway up the the house, The house itself was a small one story brick affair, fairly typical, though she did see a chimney for a fireplace, which would be great for those cold winter nights. She could imagine them snuggling under a blanket together in front of a roaring fire.
All three of them... she thought to herself, gently touching her stomach. Over the last few months, her stomach had slowly started to swell. At first it was just a tiny hint of roundness, but she continued to grow, and so did the baby inside of her That made this all so real. It was wonderful- and it scared her to death.
A knock on the door startled Jean out of his half drunk stupor. He had some liquor at the new house- he had been using it as a bribe for the people who came over and helped him move and set up the house. But now it was just him, alone with a half empty bottle of Areugian Vodka.
“Com'n.” Jean slurred slightly. To say that he was surprised when he saw Rebecca standing there in front of him would have been a gross understatement.
“Beck..?”
“Have... you been drinking?”
His eyes canted back to the bottle on the coffee table. It wasn’t like he could hide it, or the stench on his breath. “A little.”
“Um... can.. I come in?” She asked, shivering slightly.
“Oh, yeah. Sorry.” He muttered, letting her in and closing the door. “So... I guess Riza told ya about the place, hm?”
“Yeah.” For a moment, there was no sound in the room except the ticking of the clock on the wall.
“Jean?”
“Hmm?”
“I'm sorry.”
“Me too. I just wanted to give you a nice surprise, but I should have thought it through a little better, I guess.”
Rebecca shrugged, the slightest of smiles on her face. “Well, I think we both could have done things a little better, but... “ She paused and looked around. “The house is really nice. I liked the exterior. Would... you give me a tour of the inside, please?”
“Sure.. of course..” It was a pretty short tour- there was the living/dining room, which they had started in. The kitchen was in front of them, straight across from the front door. To the right was a little hallway. Down the hall were both of the bedrooms and the bathroom. The master bedroom was furnished and ready, and the smaller bedroom had already been set up as a nursery.
When he was done, they ended back in the living room. “Well, it isn't much, but it's home... if... ah... if you want it to be.”
Without hesitation, Rebecca put her arms around him and kissed him all over his neck and cheeks. “Yes, of course. I love it, Jean. You did a wonderful job.” She smiled. “And it looks like you had Riza put in a few things I would like as well. “
“Yeah. Well it's for both of us, not just me. Though... I... um... wasn't sure for a while there.”
And., the awkward silence was back.
“Wait right there..” Jean put up his index finger, then dashed off to one of the rooms down the hall. He was back a few moments later, a big smile plastered on his face.
“Jean, what was -”
Jean gently interrupted her. “Beck, let me explain.” He took a deep breath, then took her hand in his. “I wanted to do this right, this wasn't exactly what I was planning. I was hoping to have a romantic dinner and maybe a walk in the park and all. But....”
He got down on one knee and took out what he had gotten from his bedroom. The box opened, revealing a diamond ring. It wasn't big or extravagant, rather humble- he could only hope that she liked it. But as soon as he saw the tears in her eyes, he knew it was fine.
“So, Rebecca Catalina, will you make me the happiest man in the world and become my wife?”
“Yes, yes I will, Jean.” She wrapped her arms around him and kissed his face over and over. It had been a rough ride so far, but they both wanted to make this work. They loved each other even through all of this. And she knew that they would be happy together.
“I was thinking, we could even get married right now if you want. I'm not big on ceremonies and such, and I know you aren't really either. If you want to, we can go down to the courthouse, have the chief and Riza meet us there. They can be our witnesses.”
“I... I...” Rebecca was literally speechless. She loved this man and she wanted to marry him, but this was all moving fast. Of course, it had to, she was more than halfway along her pregnancy. Thankfully the morning sickness (which was a misnomer- she found out that it could happen any time of the day) had passed, and she had moved onto the peeing every half hour and having lower back pains portion of her pregnancy.
The smile on Jean's face dropped off. He was working so hard to get her back, and the last thing that he wanted to do was to go too far and push her away. “We don't have to, Beck. If you want to wait, we can. I know it's kind of sudd-” He was cut off when she kissed him again, her rough calloused hands touching his cheeks. She was a marksman like he was, they wore their skills and scars on their hands.
One phone call and a short drive down to the courthouse later, they met up with Roy and Riza. It was obvious to everyone who worked with them that Roy and Riza wanted to be more than just coworkers, but they had spent so many years hiding their feelings that they didn't display anything publicly. During the brief ceremony, they stood a couple of feet apart, formal and stiff. The fraternization law had not been repealed, though it was going up for a vote soon, so everyone in the office assumed that there was nothing serious between them.
It was short and sweet, punctuated by a long, sensual kiss when the justice of the peace declared that they were husband and wife. Afterward, Roy took them out for drinks at his aunt's bar. It had just opened a few months before. After the Promised Day, It had taken time to round up the girls, who had scattered when Central was no longer safe. Roy had used his own money to help her build a new, better bar only a few blocks from the last one.
“To new beginnings.” Roy raised his glass, and his other three companions did the same thing. After they had all taken a deep swig, Roy and Riza exchanged glances, a mischevious smile passed between them.
“We should tell them.” Roy said simply.
“Tell us what?” Jean looked just as confused at Rebecca did.
Madame Christmas took that opportunity to walk up and put her thick hand on her nephew's shoulder. “Yes, you should, Roy-Boy. They deserve to know. “
Jean thinned his eyes. He was about tired of this. “Can someone please tell me what is going on? “
A little sigh escaped Roy's lips. “Well, you both know that Fuhrer Grumman has not lifted the ban on fraternization in the military yet.” Both Jean and Rebecca nodded their heads.
“But we spoke with the Fuhrer and he gave us an official waiver. I have actually been married to Riza since about a month after the Promised Day.” Finally, Roy reached over and took Riza's hand, threading their fingers together.
“You sly dog!” Jean laughed and looked over at Rebecca. She looked.. pissed.
“How could you not tell me? I'm your best friend!”
Riza frowned slightly. “I'm sorry. We didn't want to keep this from you guys, but the Fuhrer made us promise to not tell anyone. The only reason the Madame knew is because she is very.... ah... close to the Fuhrer, let's say.”
That brought a rather disgusted look to everyone's face- that was the very last thing that they wanted to think about, the leader of the country's personal life .
“And.. there's something else.” Riza interjected. “Something we haven't even told the Madame yet.” Madame Christmas looked intently at Riza- Roy gave her hand an encouraging squeeze. “We just found out this week... I'm pregnant.”
The silence in the room was deafening.
CHAPTER SEVEN: The Waiting (Redux)
The summer loomed, hot and sticky, over Central City. The fact that it was a particularly hot summer just made Rebecca even more miserable. She was seven and a half months pregnant, and per doctor's order, she was confined to her bed. Less than a week before, she had started to have really bad cramps. Both her and Jean had been scared that the baby was going to be born early.
Their doctor said that the cramps were normal, that usually meant that the baby was moving into position, getting ready to be born. But just in case, he had confined her to bed to be safe. She was huge, and getting around was hard enough already- so there was a little part of her that was almost relieved, but it was going to be a long six weeks, she knew.
The only thing that kept her sane were the almost daily visits from Riza. Every afternoon after work she came to see her best friend. Riza kept her up to date on what was going on at Central Command. The big buzz at the moment were the preparations that were being made for Fuhrer Grumman to step down. He had not officially named who was going to replace him, but it was quite obvious that it was going to be Roy.
Unfortunately, as it got closer to the date that Grumman was going to step down, the visits became less and less often, which made Rebecca more and more frustrated. Jean was busy between his job, his continuing therapy, and trying to make sure that the nursery and everything else was ready for the baby.
Every day seemed to pass terribly slowly, Her routine was the same- wake up, take a shower and get dressed for the day. About the only thing that still fit her was a long nightgown that just further accentuated how large she had grown. By the time that was done, Jean had already made breakfast for her and left for work. She had breakfast, read the paper, and then took a book to bed. The rest of the day centered around reading, going to the restroom, resting, trying to find a comfortable position, eating lunch, repeating the restroom and getting comfortable, then after Jean comes home, dinner, bathroom, and getting comfortable, and then finally some sleep, unless the baby started to kick.
Jean, for his part, was a doting husband and father to be. Despite his hectic schedule, he did everything he could for Rebecca, when she was sore he would rub her back and her feet, he would get her whatever food she wanted when he was home, and he even went out late at night to feed her odd food cravings- including odd foods that she had never eaten before.
The first week after the order to stay in bed, she was constantly scared that she was going to go into labor early- she knew the baby needed more time to develop. But the longer that she stayed in bed, the better she felt about being able to having a healthy baby. The routine, though boring, helped her keep her mind focused, which helped her keep calm.
The eight month passed, and she was generally more relaxed, but she was still antsy and frustrated and lonely. It was only a couple of weeks before Grumman was going to step down, and Roy and Riza, despite her being several months pregnant, were so busy that they barely talked any more.
**
A few days later, it was a pretty typical evening. Since it was a Saturday, Jean had only had a short day at work, so he had been home for most of the evening. She was relaxing in bed while Jean was in the living room, cleaning guns and listening to the news over the radio. It had finally been formally announced that Roy was going to replace Fuhrer Grumman when he stepped down in only ten days. All of the talking heads were of course debating the choice, whether Roy was a good choice to become Fuhrer or not with his past record in Ishval. One of the debaters mentioned Brigadier General Armstrong, but it was agreed by the rest of them that that she would rule with fear, and after the short amount of relative peace that the country had enjoyed under the current administration, no one wanted to live in fear any more.
Throughout the evening, Rebecca had been having some soft cramps again, but that wasn't too unusual. They had been coming and going since she had been stuck in bed, so she was not worried about them. She had been warned that as she got closer to her due date, the cramps would come more often and would slowly get worse. It was the body's way of getting ready to birth the baby.
But after a few hours, the cramps continued to get worse and worse, she did start to worry some. She tried the normal tricks that usually helped,- the ones that the doctors had suggested- taking a hot shower, sitting up in bed, but they still continued to worsen.
Finally, she called out to Jean. “Jean, honey, come here please.”
A moment later, he popped his head in the door, smiling goofily. “Yes, Becca, dear?” He asked with a grin. “Is there something I can get you? Pickles? Ice cream? Peanut butter and cheese?” Those had been a few of the odd cravings she had been asking for recently.
“Jean.. I don't mean to alarm you, but...” His face immediately dropped. “I... think we should go to the hospital. These cramps are getting worse...” She had to stop and wait for a particularly bad cramp to pass, her face scrunched up in pain. By the time she was going to talk again, he had dashed in and was right by her side.
“Okay, let's get you to the car..” He didn't even let her finish what she was going to say. He knew it was early, but that baby certainly seemed grown enough, she was huge- of course he would never tell her that. She already complained about it enough, and to him it was beautiful- that was their child in there, his and hers, and no matter how big she got, no matter how many stretch marks came about, he thought she was the most beautiful woman in the world.
Inside Jean was panicking, but he was trying to keep a calm exterior. It seemed like an eternity before he was finally able to get her to the car. Between the cramps and her size, it was somewhat slow going. The moment she was in, he sped off, not really caring about getting a speeding ticket. It wasn't late enough in the day for the roads to be empty, but the worst of the traffic had already dissipated.
Jean parked the car right outside the emergency room door and helped her into the hospital, who immediately put her onto a gurney and wheeled her off, leaving a stunned, still panicking Jean in the now empty waiting room.
The silence in the room was deafening. There was only one nurse at the counter, but she was silently doing her work, and didn't pay him any mind. Over in the corner, a cigarette machine silently mocked him. He had given them up months ago, as soon as he had found out Rebecca was pregnant. But now, he had nothing to do but pace and worry and hope his wife and their child was going to be alright.
Instead of giving in to temptation, he walked over to the payphone in the corner and made a call.
“Mustang residence.”
“Hey, Roy. I.. I'm at the hospital. Beck went into labor early.”
“Is everything alright?” The worry was obvious in his voice.
“Well, I just got here, so I guess it will be a while before I hear anything,.”
“Riza and I'll be down there in a bit. No need to suffer alone.”
“Oh, you don't have to.” he looked at a clock on the wall- it was a few minutes after ten. “I'm sure that Riza is tired.”
“We don't mind. Besides, you can pay me back in a few months, right?” Both of the men laughed heartily.
“You have what... six months left to go?”
“Yeah, about that.”
“At least I can tell you what to expect. She should be getting to the going to the bathroom all the time and having weird food cravings' stage pretty soon. “
“You aren't helping, Havoc.” Roy's voice got grim. Jean just laughed.
“Just giving you the truth there, chief!”
“Anyway, we will be there in about fifteen minutes. Just sit tight.”
“Like I have a choice.”
True to his word it was right at fifteen minutes later when they walked into the waiting room, only to find a very disheveled Jean pacing back and forth, running his hands through his spiky hair.
“Any news yet?”
Jean shook his head. “Not yet.”
Riza smiled at Jean. “It'll be fine, Jean. These are some of the best doctors in all of Amestris.”
Jean nodded and smiled back., Riza only had the slightest hint of roundness to her, but she just glowed. He could see it in the smile on her face.
They settled into a friendly conversation. It was a good way to pass the time and try not to worry about what was happening behind those two thick double doors that closed off the waiting room from the rest of the hospital.
One hour of conversation became two, then three. Around one in the morning, Roy drove Riza home to let her get some rest. He had insisted that she needed to sleep. Despite her insistence that she wasn’t infirm, she knew deep down it would be best for her and the baby to get a full night's rest in a normal bed.
It was close to two in the morning before Roy returned, but there had still been no update. The nurse had tried to warn him that labor can last anywhere from a couple of hours up to twelve hours or more, and that there was nothing to do but wait.
By the time the first rays of the sun were shining through the large windows of the waiting room, Jean and Roy had pretty much run out of things to talk about. Jean was, once again, a huge bundle of nerves. It had been close to eight hours, and there was still no word from the doctor.
He had no sooner walked over to the nurse to insist that he get some information when a doctor came out, still in blue scrubs, pulling the blue head covering off and removing his rubber gloves.
“Jean Havoc?”
“Yes?” His heart raised into his throat. This was it. What was the doctor going to say? His face looked impassive, impossible to read. His heart raced, time seemed to stand still until the doctor finally spoke.
“Your wife is progressing, but it is much slower than we would like. Her cervix needs to be dilated to 8 centimeters, and she has not gotten there yet. There's not much that we can do to move it along. If nothing has started to happen in the new few hours, were are going to have to think about surgery. I won't sugar coat it, that's dangerous to the mother and the fetus. But we are not going to do that unless we have to. I'll give you an update as soon as I have one. “
Jean was in shock.. Surgery? Danger? She had been happy when she came in, even though she had been in pain. It was killing him to not be able to be with her. Why couldn't he be there with her? What if... the worst happened?
“T-t-thank you..” it was all he was able to say before the doctor head back through the double doors.
**
By the middle of the morning, both Jean and Roy were running on empty, they took turns napping on the hard, uncomfortable chairs in the waiting room. They saw all sorts of people come in, injuries, illnesses, people came and went while they waited, waited, waited. It was all that they could do.
Riza arrived back at the hospital close to lunch time, she had taken a cab to surprise them. They both agreed that it was nice to have her back- the conversation picked up for a little bit, but Jean was still only in the conversation halfheartedly, His mind was back behind those doors, in the delivery room, where the woman he loved was suffering without him.
Jean was napping lightly while Roy and Riza chatted when the doctor came back out. Roy was about to wake him, but with the squeak of those double doors, Jean was immediately awake and up on his feet, meeting the doctor halfway across the room. Once again, the doctor had the same unreadable look on his face, frustrating the blond man even more.
“Mr Havoc? Congratulations.”
CHAPTER EIGHT: The Birth
Jean's breath caught in his throat, the world suddenly stopped.
“Congratulations. Your wife gave birth to a baby girl. She's a bit on the small side- four pounds. fourteen ounces. She's having a little trouble breathing, but that is not unusual for a baby that small. We are helping her, and we're confident that she should be breathing on her own once she gets a little bit stronger.”
All the clouds of doubt and fear lifted from around him. A father... he was a father! A smile spread across his face, and Roy slapped him on the back. “Congratulations, Jean. Have fun with your years of diaper changes that you can look forward to!” Roy smirked while Jean tried to flash him an evil look, but he was so happy that it just didn't stick.
“Don't forget,” Jean countered, “that you are only six months behind me when it comes to that!” The crestfallen look on Roy's face made the comment worth it. Even Riza joined in on laughing at the sulking alchemist.
“Ahem.” The doctor cleared his throat, his face still looking grim. “Your wife is still in labor..” That stopped the conversation dead, and made Jean's jaw drop.
“Wait... you mean... t-t-wins?”
“Yes. I have to get back to the delivery room. Twins usually born fairly close together. I need to see how she is progressing. I will give you an update as soon as I can.”
The doctor turned to leave, but Jean reached out and touched his arm, stopping him and making him turn back towards the blond. “Wait.. I want to see them.”
“You will get to see them as soon as the second child is born. No one other than doctors are allowed in the delivery room. We told you that already.” He didn’t give Jean time to respond before he turned around and went back through the double doors. And with that, he was gone again, leaving a stunned Jean to pick up his mouth from the floor.
“T-t-t-twins?” His voice was a soft whimper. All Roy and Riza could do was look at each other, just as stunned as he was.
“Congratulations, Jean. You're going to have your hands full with a couple of kids.” Roy pat him on the back softer this time. “You know that Riza and I will help you however we can, though we will have our hands full pretty soon, too.” He smiled and gently rubbed at his wife's stomach.
“I... I...” Jean slumped down into a chair. He had a daughter, and now he was going to have another child. They were hardly ready for one kid, he had no idea how they were going to handle two. They only had one of everything- crib, rocking chair, etc. He let out a deep breath and ran his hand through his hair. The house was big enough for three, but it wouldn't hold four for long, the older the kids got, the more cramped the house was going to get.
He figured he had maybe a couple of months, if the babies were small enough they could share a crib for a little bit, but that would have to be rectified pretty quickly. The nursery was the smaller of the two rooms. They could switch the master bedroom and the nursery, that would give them more room for a second crib, but even then it would be a tight fit. The whole house was barely 1000 square feet, and that was due to a nice sized living room.
It would be possible to have a crib in the living room for a short time, but that again would only be a temporary measure. He had scraped together everything he could for this house, and it wasn't going to be enough. Every possible suggestion he could think of was only a very temporary fix. He had no idea how they were going to do this.
Roy and Riza exchanged worried looks. They could tell he was deep in thought, and they were not happy ones, despite what he had just leaned. “We'll help you go shopping,” Riza said softly. “Don't worry, people have twins all the time. Just think, that is twice the love you can give, and twice the love you will get back.”
“Yeah..” Jean sounded distracted. “I.. just hope they are both okay.”
“We do too, Jean.”
**
An hour passed like a day before the double doors opened again and the doctor came out for a third and final time.
All three of them stood up as if on cue, holding their breaths, hoping to hear
“Mr. Havoc?”
“Yes?”
“Your daughter is doing better. She is already breathing better and we think that she is going to be able to breathe on her own soon. She is mostly breathing on her own, with a little bit of help, and we are tying to slowly wean her onto breathing unassisted as she continues to improve.”
“And... my other baby?” The fact that he had led off with his daughter made him imagine the worst.
“A boy.” He started, the doctor's voice dropping a little lower. “Three pounds, ten ounces. He wasn't breathing when he was born. Right now we have him in intensive care. Things are going to be very touch and go with him for a while. He is fighting, but he is so small, it is going to be a very long road to get him healthy. We will of course do everything that I can, but you have to be prepared for the possibility that he might not make it.”
The world dropped out from under Jean. He hadn't even met his son yet, and here he was, on the verge of tears, because his son might die before he even got a chance to see him.
The room was deathly silent. No one was quite sure what to say. All of the happiness that came from the birth of his daughter had been overshadowed by the fact that his son was now desperately clinging to life.
And there was nothing they could do about it.
The helplessness was the worst part. All they could do was put their faith in the doctors and wait for what they all hoped would be good news.
“I want to see them.” Jean said in a no-nonsense tone.
“Your wife should be wheeled to her recovery room soon, I can take you to see her. And if your daughter continues to improve and she is breathing on her own, then we will let her stay in the room as well. But for the well being of your son, he needs to stay in Intensive Care. We will continue to monitor his situation, and if he improves, you two will be able to see him, but right now he is being worked on and must be isolated.”
“Jean, go be with Rebecca. We're going to go home, you two need some time. Call me as soon as you know anything at all, I don't care what time of day or night it is.” Roy pat his shoulder lightly again. “Give Rebecca our best. We will come back to visit later tonight or tomorrow. “
It was awkward, Roy and Riza felt like a third wheel, listening to both the good an bad news in Jean;'s life, they felt like a fly on the wall, privy to information that should be private. They quietly left while the doctor continued to talk to Jean.
“Come with me, please. She should be in her room by now.” The hospital was like a maze through those double doors, the door that he had been cursing since he came in- they separated him from his love while she suffered though the birth of twins. He wasn't there, they hadn't let him be there and it killed him that she had to suffer along.
The whole time as they walked he couldn't stop thinking about his son. He was fighting for his life, and Jean was helpless to do anything for him. He might not ever get to see his son alive, and that just broke his heart. He hadn't been expecting twins, but now that they were here, he wanted to take them home, watch them grow and thrive and become big and strong.
And as of right now, he wasn't sure if either of them were going to survive.
Was there something that he had done wrong? Maybe he could have made her rest more? Or maybe he should have been faster in getting to hospital? A million thoughts ran through his head. What could he have done to give his children a fighting chance to live?
After only a couple of twists and turns of following the doctor, he was well and truly lost. Finally they stopped at a door marked 115. It was closed, and he couldn’t hear any noises coming from behind it, worrying him even further.
“She is inside, Please try to be quiet when entering, she may be sleeping. If she is, let her sleep, she needs her rest. She is very weak. She's been through a lot. ”
Jean bit back a sarcastic comment. She wasn’t the only one who had been through a lot, was his first thought, but of course she was the one who had just gone through over twelve hours of labor. He felt awful for even thinking that he had gone through as much as she had. He wondered, had she been able to see her babies as they were being born.
“Of course. Thank you.” Jean nodded. The doctor turned and left. Jean took a deep breath, put his hand on the knob, and opened the door.
CHAPTER NINE: The Baby
“Beck, honey?” When he stuck his head in the door, the room was dark and quiet. The curtains were drawn across the windows, leaving only small shafts of light that danced across the floor.
There was no answer, so he closed the door and walked over to the bed. Rebecca was sleeping soundly. He could see a fine sheen of sweat on her forehead and she was pale- he wondered how much blood she had lost through this ordeal.
Oh, he wanted to wake her up and kiss her all over and tell her how much he loved her and that he was so proud of her for bringing two lives into this world. But he remembered what the doctor has told him. She has indeed been through a lot, and so he waited. He took her hand and held it gently, whispering to her how much he loved her while he waited for her to wake, hoping that maybe the doctor would come in and give them both good news.
Jean had no idea how long it was before she finally started to stir.
“Hey, love..” Jean smiled and leaned down, kissing her softly on the forehead.
“Nnn... J..Jean?”
“Yes, love?”
Rebecca shot up into a sitting position, then leaned forward, clutching her side. The sudden movement left a shooting pain in her side.
“Jean.. my baby.. where's my baby?” Did she really only know about one of them, he wondered to himself.
“Beck, honey, lay down.” He helped her lay back down. “You.. you had twins, love. I'm not sure how much you remember. The doctor told me our daughter.. she was having trouble breathing, but she was improving but.. but.. our son.” it was all he could do to keep himself together.. He had to be strong- for her. “He's not doing so well. They said he is really small, and he can't breathe on his own. They don't know what's going to happen to him.. “ Tears pricked at the corners of his eyes. “He's a fighter, our little guy.”
“And... our daughter?”
“If she continues to improve then she will be wheeled in here as soon as she is strong enough. I guess she is stubborn, like her mom.” He chuckled- it was a weak attempt to bring humor to the situation, but it fell short. Here they were, new parents that had no baby to hold and smile at and kiss. It all seemed so hollow.
“Maybe... they will let us see him.”
“They wouldn't before, but we can certainly ask.” Jean kissed her forehead softly, brushing her slightly matted hair back from her eyes. She had worked so hard, it killed him that he couldn't be there to help her, but the hospital rules were absolute.
Rebecca nodded softly, closing her eyes and laying back on the pillow. She felt so totally helpless here, It was just her and him, alone, They were both desperately hanging onto the hope that they were going to see their daughter soon, but their son, they had no idea about how he was doing, other than the vague statement that he was still clinging to life.
While Rebecca managed to get a little bit more sleep, Jean watched over her protectively. Every little noise that she made broke him out of his deep thoughts. He was hyper aware of every little noise in the room, and all the beeping and talking and such that was going on just outside their door.
A knock at the door woke Rebecca up from her light, troubled sleep. As soon as the door opened, they could both hear the soft crying. Jean jumped to his feet and Rebecca jolted up into a sitting position, which she immediately regretted. A shooting pain went up her side and she hissed softly in pain.
'Beck!”
“I'm okay, Jean. Really.” She looked anxiously at the door, and Jean's eyes, which had just been on her, followed suit. The doctor walked in first, and behind him an nurse was rolling a small gurney with high walls on the side. The walls were clear, so they could see inside.
Inside, under a thick blanket and covered with a pink knit cap was a crying, squirming baby... their daughter.
“She's being doing really well. We will be in frequently to check on her, and be sure to get our attention if you notice anything out of the ordinary with her, such as her lips turning blue, having trouble breathing, coughing, or anything else of the sort.
“T-t-thank you, doctor.” Jean almost stumbled forward, until he was standing over the gurney. Tears pricked at the sides of his eyes. He wanted to pick her up, but he had no idea how to do it. Thankfully, the nurse came to the rescue. She picked the baby up and rocked her a little bit, trying to get her to calm down.
“She's been this way since we moved her to this bassinet.” She explained with a smile. “I guess she was anxious to see her mom and dad.” All Jean could do was smile back. His breath was literally taken away by this tiny, wriggling thing in her arms.
“Here, put your arms like mine.” Jean studied her arms and put his in about the same position. Before he could say that he was ready, she gently put in in the crook he had made between his arm and his body. “Okay, support her head like this..” She moved his arm a little to give his daughter a better angle in which to rest. “And your hand here.. support her bottom.. There you go. You got it. You are a natural.”
He certainly didn't feel like a natural, but as soon as she was in his arms, her crying calmed a little. He wanted to turn around and show Rebecca, but he was so scared.. She was tiny and fragile.. and he was afraid to move at all. He stood stiff and scared for a few moments before the nurse finally intervened, taking the baby from him and walking over to Rebecca. She was a bit more of a natural when it came to holding the baby. Within a few short heartbeats, she was gently rocking their baby back and forth, humming to her softly, and she had stopped crying altogether.
“I guess she's a mama's girl.” Jean quipped with a giant grin. He walked over and sat on the edge of the bed, watching the mother/daughter bonding.
“She was probably crying because she is hungry.” The nurse said, after giving them a couple of minutes of quiet bonding. They had been so engrossed in their daughter that they hadn’t noticed that the doctor had left. Jean cursed under his breath. He had wanted to ask about their son. But for now, it would be best to focus on her.
The hospital really had thought of everything. Her gown opened in the front, making it much easier for her to free her breasts to feed. Rebecca blushed a bit. She had never exposed herself with so many other people around her. But the nurse was patient. She let Rebecca get comfortable with the idea, and then- carefully, while balancing her daughter in her other arm, she unbuttoned the front of the gown and exposed her right breast.
Oh, Jean wanted to say something. He looked at his wife with the most mischievous grin on his face. But this was not the time, and he wisely bit his lip and kept his mouth shut, watching his wife get ready to breast feed their child.
“Alright, usually babies are really good about latching on as soon as you get them close.” The nurse started. She helped Rebecca re-situate the baby and leaned her up towards the nipple. It took a couple of times, but finally she realized what to do. She clamped down and started to feed.
“That.. feels weird..” She admitted with a little grin.
“I'm jealous!” Jean knew he could get away with the comment now, she couldn't retaliate, at least for the moment. She did shoot him a look that promised that she wouldn't forget this, and he wilted a bit under her gaze. It was worth it.
“Okay, I'll leave you three alone right now. If you have any questions or problems we will be rihgt outside at the nurse's station. And don't forget, when she is done, put down one of our burp cloths here, put her on your shoulder, and gently rub her back until she burps. She will throw up, but that is normal. Don't worry.” With a nod and a smile, she was gone.
Jean wanted to say something profound, something romantic, but all he could come up with was “Wow.” Rebecca rolled her eyes and smiled.
“We need to come up with a name, you know.”
Silence permeated the room while the thought about it. “What about Rachel? After your grandmother?” He asked. “You always talk fondly about her.”
“Really, you... wouldn't mind? I.. I loved her very much. She was almost as much of a mom as my mom was.” She admitted. “I'ts a shame that you never got to meet her. I would love to name her after her.” Rebecca looked down at her still nursing daughter. “What do you think, my love? Do you like the name Rachel?” She didn't cease what she was doing, she just kept on suckling softly.
“Well, she didn't say no.” Jean chuckled.
“Rachel it is then.”
**
One spit up/burp later, Rachel was comfortably laying in Rebecca's arms while she slept soundly. They hadn't talked about it, but they both new it would have to be brought up. They had named her.. and they hadn't discussed what to name their son- the son that they had not yet seen.
Finally, Jean cleared his throat softly. “Beck.. I...” He gulped, this was hard to say, but he knew that it had to be done. “I.. think we need to talk about.. our son.”
The smile that had been on her face fell. “I know.. “ She looked down at Rachel, so happy and peaceful, unaware of the problems of a sibling that she didn't know.
“What about.. Jack?” She whispered, not wanting to wake Rachel. “I know your father died when you were a teenager. That must have been hard.”
Jean nodded. “I.. looked a lot like him. I was their only kid. They both came from big farming families, and my parents had problems having any kids. There was only me. I have lots of cousins, and some of them helped with the store sometimes, but it was mostly the three of us.. then the two of us. That's why it was really tough when I joined the military, Then it was only my mom. Thankfully she did have help. But it was a sore spot between us for a while.”
'I'm sorry. We don't have to name him Jack if you don't-”
“No.. I.. I'd love to.” he replied in a whisper. “I'm sure my mom would love that.”
Rebecca smiled at him, and he smiled back, a sad, but still satisfied smile. He bit back what he was thinking. 'I just hope we get to see him, I don't want the other Jack to leave me too.'