V-Day 08
When I was a kid, my parents gave us Valentine’s gifts. I remember my mom gave me a ceramic heart filled with skittles. And one year it was a woven basket filled with nail polish (she did people’s nails on the side) and stockings (which she felt I should wear more of). I loved that basket - for many years, I used it to store tampons.
My Dad brought balloons home, and usually gave flowers and/or candy. I think he brought similar gifts for my Mom and I think she bought or made a special treat to eat like sugary confections with festive frosting. My Mom stopped with the gifts long ago but my Dad has been pretty faithful - this year sending me and my family 3 big, colorful and wonderfully worded cards! Bill’s Mom sent Adele a lovely Valentine package and everything together makes it look like there’s a lot of love up in here.
In a note, I recently wrote: “I guess people who don't share bank accounts - or share one really big one - can do the crazy material surprises but I would be pissed off if Bill tried to surprise me by buying something he "thinks" I *could* like with money that could be put toward something I definitely *do* like.”
I like surprises but not any I need to finance. Don't get me wrong, I am not opposed to V-Day hoopla because of the commercialism - such is a part of “This American Life” and I think some of the V-Day kitsch is fun (like the stripping stuffed animals - top shelves at Walgreens) but I wouldn’t want to buy nor own one. Part of what makes a holiday fun is *going* to the stores and trying out all the little new doo-dads and stealing ideas from all the decorations. Even if we could afford the things, I couldn’t stand myself if I/someone brought a singing, stripping pig into my sacred space.
Adele helped me make something "special" (indulgent) for dinner and Bill left me a sweet note on the bathroom mirror. She made him a Valentine and we made an album for him and we also made some decorations for the front window. I don’t think we’ll be giving Adele material gifts for V-Day anytime soon but we can always aim to make something special to share, like this collection of photos: (http://www.kodakgallery.com/elainek/photos/from_our_home_hearts_to_yours).
I think romantic love is important but I think it’s important to express care every day with romantic partners. And while we should do the same for those we love beyond the romance realm, it’s challenging if you don’t see these people everyday. I am venturing to suggest that Valentine’s Day - as a day to remind those that you love that you love them - should really be for those that we think might actually need that kind of reminding…friends, family and those who might get a kick out of hearing from us.
That’s not to say that we shouldn’t honor our partners - but if partners treat everyday (or even every other day) like being together is something special, maybe more people will start to believe that a quality partnership really *is* something special.