I just burnt my waffles
I'm in orlando now.
Seems an odd place for me to be.
So the same day that i talked to my brother, i decided to go to my family's christmas.
Right now is probably not the best time in my life to completely sever what little ties i have.
So after I tell andrew that I'm not going to be with him on christmas, he looks like i just ripped out his heart with my bare hands and stomped on it several times, then fed it to some rabid squirrels.
I immediately regretted my decision to leave, but I'd already told my parents that I was driving down to Orlando to ride up to Kentucky with my brother. It would have made more sense for me to just drive there myself, but what would my life be if it wasn't complicated?
I sat in andrew's driveway staring at him for a half an hour, wishing desperately i didn't have to leave.
I wish he had gone through with his threats and stolen my spark plugs.
slashed my tires.
run over my car with a tractor.
removed my engine.
---just SOMETHING so that I wouldn't have to leave.
So i get to Orlando after 10 hours.
I unload my stuff at my brother's apartment by UCF, and we go eat some pizza together.
We get to talking and I realize that he didn't convince me to go to KY for my own wellbeing.
It was for his own.
He had gotten arrested about a month ago, and hadn't seen our parents or relatives since.
He wanted all the attention to be on me.
He wanted ME to recieve all the heartbreaking disappointment.
He informed me that i needed to suck up to our mom in order to not be excommunicated.
I refused.
I'm not apologising for something that I'm not sorry for.
So that night, he stays at his girlfriend's, and I sleep on the couch because I dont trust his sheets. We leave at 7pm the next day and drive through the night. He informs me that my grandma disowned us, so we're staying at our brother jon's. Everything is so bleak. We argue a lot because we have nothing in common except that we're both fuck ups.
Christmas can have another update later. I don't care about christmas. I fucking hate christmas. Pretty much, i think my dad had returned my presents he ordered from REI and the rest of my family ignored me. Breena and I sat in the basement away from the drunken masses.
The day after christmas I went hiking with my dad and his two brothers in Bernheim forest. This was extremely peaceful and i desperately needed it.
My dad's side of the family didn't know about my little escapade.
Now I'm back in Orlando. Jeremy stayed at his girlfriend Suzanne's last night, and I washed his sheets. I couldn't sleep till the sun was up. I watched some Steve Martin movie.
So now I'm stuck here in a place I don't want to be with a person who doesn't want me here and I only have a citgo card that can be used to go to Navarre, or $40 to take my chances elsewhere.
I don't have enough money to go to North Carolina.
I don't have a tent with me, so I can't camp in a random city.
I don't even have a poncho to make a little poncho hooch to sleep in.
I have nothing here.
No friends, no money, no caring family, no options.
I don't know what to do.
Damnit, times like these I wish I had a fucking credit card.
Seems an odd place for me to be.
So the same day that i talked to my brother, i decided to go to my family's christmas.
Right now is probably not the best time in my life to completely sever what little ties i have.
So after I tell andrew that I'm not going to be with him on christmas, he looks like i just ripped out his heart with my bare hands and stomped on it several times, then fed it to some rabid squirrels.
I immediately regretted my decision to leave, but I'd already told my parents that I was driving down to Orlando to ride up to Kentucky with my brother. It would have made more sense for me to just drive there myself, but what would my life be if it wasn't complicated?
I sat in andrew's driveway staring at him for a half an hour, wishing desperately i didn't have to leave.
I wish he had gone through with his threats and stolen my spark plugs.
slashed my tires.
run over my car with a tractor.
removed my engine.
---just SOMETHING so that I wouldn't have to leave.
So i get to Orlando after 10 hours.
I unload my stuff at my brother's apartment by UCF, and we go eat some pizza together.
We get to talking and I realize that he didn't convince me to go to KY for my own wellbeing.
It was for his own.
He had gotten arrested about a month ago, and hadn't seen our parents or relatives since.
He wanted all the attention to be on me.
He wanted ME to recieve all the heartbreaking disappointment.
He informed me that i needed to suck up to our mom in order to not be excommunicated.
I refused.
I'm not apologising for something that I'm not sorry for.
So that night, he stays at his girlfriend's, and I sleep on the couch because I dont trust his sheets. We leave at 7pm the next day and drive through the night. He informs me that my grandma disowned us, so we're staying at our brother jon's. Everything is so bleak. We argue a lot because we have nothing in common except that we're both fuck ups.
Christmas can have another update later. I don't care about christmas. I fucking hate christmas. Pretty much, i think my dad had returned my presents he ordered from REI and the rest of my family ignored me. Breena and I sat in the basement away from the drunken masses.
The day after christmas I went hiking with my dad and his two brothers in Bernheim forest. This was extremely peaceful and i desperately needed it.
My dad's side of the family didn't know about my little escapade.
Now I'm back in Orlando. Jeremy stayed at his girlfriend Suzanne's last night, and I washed his sheets. I couldn't sleep till the sun was up. I watched some Steve Martin movie.
So now I'm stuck here in a place I don't want to be with a person who doesn't want me here and I only have a citgo card that can be used to go to Navarre, or $40 to take my chances elsewhere.
I don't have enough money to go to North Carolina.
I don't have a tent with me, so I can't camp in a random city.
I don't even have a poncho to make a little poncho hooch to sleep in.
I have nothing here.
No friends, no money, no caring family, no options.
I don't know what to do.
Damnit, times like these I wish I had a fucking credit card.