You know what, when I die? I want them to put a mail-slot into my headstone. That way, my next-of-kin won't have to deal with all of my slightly-creepy mail.

Also. Today, I saw a midget tow-truck driver helping somebody out near the side of the road. He was buff and had a shaved head, sort of like a ripped Jason Statham only much shorter ( Read more... )

So I decided to go visit the Sierra Club today, to hear them out, and finally decide on a summer job. With a firm heart and a quavering stride I hopped into my dad's fire-truck-red Jeep bright and early in the morning and puttered off towards Princeton and it's hidden secret headquarters of the aforementioned activist group.

( Read more... )

So I was pondering religious history like I often do while in the shower for some reason and I started to wonder, what would happen if Jesus Christ had his second coming and descended down to the earthly realm to wander around us retarded mortals again? More specifically, what about the Jews? I mean, nothing against them of course, but I couldn't ( Read more... )

( Who Knew )

So I saw Ultraviolet today. It was bad. Violently so. ( Ultra-violently bad. )

( Shameful Truths )

...IN MY PANTS!

But seriously, let us be emo for a while.
( mmm navel lint )

Pirates, ninjas, who are we to decide which is better? I submit to you that both are bandits of the highest calibur, and should not be placed one above the other ( Read more... )

Fizban316: Wait, you thought everything between them was perfectly normal and healthy ( Read more... )

Guess what? Politics quiz, that's what!

You are a
Social Liberal
(70% permissive)

and an...
Economic Liberal
(25% permissive)

You are best described as a:

Democrat

( Read more... )