Underneath the mistletoe
Well it is that time of year again. First and foremost, let me explain a few things about this time of year...
I am speaking from my other frame of mind at the moment, because the 'normal' Steve is a bit... compromised. Emotions were getting the better of him, and as such I had to take over. The fact that I'm admitting this means that I feel you should understand that I've had a split personality for a long time, and more or less that 'normal' side is out. By normal I mean of course, highly emotional, a bit clingy and more mentally fragile. Its the side that takes snide remarks at face value and is easily hurt, letting the negativity of life press in and crush him. I do not condone such behavior in others, and yet let it affect me... so I had to lock him a away a bit.
I warn you of that now because well, this side is a bit less tamed and often times rude and hurtful. I do not allow others to slight me, and I am not above dealing a healthy dose of cruelty if the one it is aimed at really deserves it. You will not like this side of me, nor do I expect you to want to be around it, because frankly I'm an asshole and it is nothing like what you've all come to see as my 'normal' self. In fact, I'm almost a polar opposite in this state; I talk differently, no time for nonsense, and actions speak FAR louder than words. So be as lax with your words as you wish, because how you treat me right now will be held higher over your head than the stupid little bullshit comments anyone makes.
However, in this state, I ask that you not hold much against the other side, as it is not at the forefront of my actions, and as such I won't hold anything against anyone that happens whilst I'm in control. Just don't expect any sweetness from me, no loving hugs or cute kisses on the cheek, thats not the kind of guy I am. Its not that I'm shy, or easily embarrassed, in fact its that those sort of things are reserved only for someone I feel deeply for. unlike him, I don't squander such affectionate displays because it causes them to lose meaning.
Now, the reason for the title: This being the holidays and all, if I was to find myself under the mistletoe with anyone, I'd be able to kiss them without any affection or attachment. Normally it'd make me attach to that person, because stuff like that is so rare I tended to hold on to it and covet it far too much. I avoided mistletoe for that reason, I didn't wanna get caught under it and be hurt when I was rejected. Secretly I wore some over my heart in hopes someone would notice. Ah the stupid things that emotionally dependent people do, truly naive of them.
If you see me under mistletoe this year, feel free to ignore it. In fact its probably better that you don't get trapped by that little web... because I'm a bit more devious than you know, and its not good for you to be around me when I'm like this for too long.
tl;dr - Not in my right mind right now, and as such am a bit more devious than I let on. Be on guard, especially around mistletoe. >:D
I am speaking from my other frame of mind at the moment, because the 'normal' Steve is a bit... compromised. Emotions were getting the better of him, and as such I had to take over. The fact that I'm admitting this means that I feel you should understand that I've had a split personality for a long time, and more or less that 'normal' side is out. By normal I mean of course, highly emotional, a bit clingy and more mentally fragile. Its the side that takes snide remarks at face value and is easily hurt, letting the negativity of life press in and crush him. I do not condone such behavior in others, and yet let it affect me... so I had to lock him a away a bit.
I warn you of that now because well, this side is a bit less tamed and often times rude and hurtful. I do not allow others to slight me, and I am not above dealing a healthy dose of cruelty if the one it is aimed at really deserves it. You will not like this side of me, nor do I expect you to want to be around it, because frankly I'm an asshole and it is nothing like what you've all come to see as my 'normal' self. In fact, I'm almost a polar opposite in this state; I talk differently, no time for nonsense, and actions speak FAR louder than words. So be as lax with your words as you wish, because how you treat me right now will be held higher over your head than the stupid little bullshit comments anyone makes.
However, in this state, I ask that you not hold much against the other side, as it is not at the forefront of my actions, and as such I won't hold anything against anyone that happens whilst I'm in control. Just don't expect any sweetness from me, no loving hugs or cute kisses on the cheek, thats not the kind of guy I am. Its not that I'm shy, or easily embarrassed, in fact its that those sort of things are reserved only for someone I feel deeply for. unlike him, I don't squander such affectionate displays because it causes them to lose meaning.
Now, the reason for the title: This being the holidays and all, if I was to find myself under the mistletoe with anyone, I'd be able to kiss them without any affection or attachment. Normally it'd make me attach to that person, because stuff like that is so rare I tended to hold on to it and covet it far too much. I avoided mistletoe for that reason, I didn't wanna get caught under it and be hurt when I was rejected. Secretly I wore some over my heart in hopes someone would notice. Ah the stupid things that emotionally dependent people do, truly naive of them.
If you see me under mistletoe this year, feel free to ignore it. In fact its probably better that you don't get trapped by that little web... because I'm a bit more devious than you know, and its not good for you to be around me when I'm like this for too long.
tl;dr - Not in my right mind right now, and as such am a bit more devious than I let on. Be on guard, especially around mistletoe. >:D