An apology
To whom it does concern,
You are right, about many things. I have been egocentric, worrisome, and a blind fool. I think so deeply about how I may have slighted others that my concerns themselves have turned into the very knives jabbing into my back. You have tried to be patient with one such as I, but it is a far more daunting task than initially thought. After all, you deserve that solitude which I have been so selfishly prying into, nagging into the inner recesses of your inner sanctuary, unrelenting and bothersome. It may not be that you wish to shun, or ignore, only that you need some peace and quiet now and again to rearrange your mind, body and soul. A boisterous, clambering clumsy fool as myself has no place there; after all sanctuaries of the inner self are, obviously, meant only for oneself.
The approach this buffoon has taken was... misunderstood. Never was the intention to trespass or anger you, nor was it to beg for pity or attention. Truth of the matter was, it was just to be near you, to attempt to understand you better, to learn more about you. You were so intriguing, so many facets, edges and verticies, some a bit more polished, some less. You awakened a side within that had been long forgotten; a side which was eager to learn, hungry for knowledge, wanting to share more and more, communicate and collaborate. It was enthralling to find someone so complex, so layered that even if one was able to delve into your mind and soul, they would never be able to fully comprehend those far reaching planes of existence within you. If only to experience it for a moment, to indulge in that which could keep him up for nights on end should that possibility ever arise, he would know what it felt like to be in a state of semi-euphoria...
Yet, let us digress, for now that which the fool sought lies further out of his reach than ever before anticipated. All that time worrying for your well-being seems for naught now, the path ahead fraught with disappointment; not in you, of course, but in his inability to properly convey his feelings and thoughts. Oh how much simpler life would be if only thoughts could be shared instantaneously, never having to become tongue tied or choking on ones' words. Yet this is not the world we live in. This is no fantasy, or game where each protagonist has a happy ending, this is reality, and to be so blinded by my pursuit of what I feigned to be happiness only brought about that which was feared.
So, I implore, if I may: Am I too much of a liability to you, or a trespasser within your personal sanctity of mind, to remain your friend, to regain your grace once more? If so, then please don't hesitate to let me know, because the last thing I want to do is tread upon you or your feelings again.
Sincerely, and with humble humility,
Steve
You are right, about many things. I have been egocentric, worrisome, and a blind fool. I think so deeply about how I may have slighted others that my concerns themselves have turned into the very knives jabbing into my back. You have tried to be patient with one such as I, but it is a far more daunting task than initially thought. After all, you deserve that solitude which I have been so selfishly prying into, nagging into the inner recesses of your inner sanctuary, unrelenting and bothersome. It may not be that you wish to shun, or ignore, only that you need some peace and quiet now and again to rearrange your mind, body and soul. A boisterous, clambering clumsy fool as myself has no place there; after all sanctuaries of the inner self are, obviously, meant only for oneself.
The approach this buffoon has taken was... misunderstood. Never was the intention to trespass or anger you, nor was it to beg for pity or attention. Truth of the matter was, it was just to be near you, to attempt to understand you better, to learn more about you. You were so intriguing, so many facets, edges and verticies, some a bit more polished, some less. You awakened a side within that had been long forgotten; a side which was eager to learn, hungry for knowledge, wanting to share more and more, communicate and collaborate. It was enthralling to find someone so complex, so layered that even if one was able to delve into your mind and soul, they would never be able to fully comprehend those far reaching planes of existence within you. If only to experience it for a moment, to indulge in that which could keep him up for nights on end should that possibility ever arise, he would know what it felt like to be in a state of semi-euphoria...
Yet, let us digress, for now that which the fool sought lies further out of his reach than ever before anticipated. All that time worrying for your well-being seems for naught now, the path ahead fraught with disappointment; not in you, of course, but in his inability to properly convey his feelings and thoughts. Oh how much simpler life would be if only thoughts could be shared instantaneously, never having to become tongue tied or choking on ones' words. Yet this is not the world we live in. This is no fantasy, or game where each protagonist has a happy ending, this is reality, and to be so blinded by my pursuit of what I feigned to be happiness only brought about that which was feared.
So, I implore, if I may: Am I too much of a liability to you, or a trespasser within your personal sanctity of mind, to remain your friend, to regain your grace once more? If so, then please don't hesitate to let me know, because the last thing I want to do is tread upon you or your feelings again.
Sincerely, and with humble humility,
Steve