Conceding defeat
Sometimes in life, your best just isn't good enough, you can't compare to the others out there competing for that which you want. Sometimes you just have to throw in the towel and say that you gave it your best... sometimes you have to face the music that you are not good enough.
Today is one of those days, I'm afraid. I will lay my whole hand down on the table, knowing I went all in, and show that I busted, I didn't have the cards in hand to win, or even come close. Maybe at least I can still walk away with one chip.
The special people in my life should know by now that I enjoy their company, and that I care for them because they are my friends and I feel a connection to them. However, as much as I want things to go well, and as much energy and effort I put forth, I have still been falling short. I know I have nothing to offer you, nothing but myself and my friendship and affection, but that just isn't enough for people now days. I don't have a car, a nice job or a house of my own. I'm so many degrees of disappointment that no matter how awesome I may initially seem, once that wears off and the intrigue of me has passed I will inevitably be cast aside once again. This isn't a pity party, its just the reality of life. I am lacking, and in this world the ones who are lacking are not fit to achieve happiness, only to be a stepping stone for those who are greater to reach their own selfish goals.
So, what does this mean? It means I'm gonna stop. No bugging to hang out, no bothering late at night when I've had a bad day and need someone to talk to. As much as I love company, it is not worth the price I've been trying to pay... I don't want to be a burden or an annoyance, I don't want to push anyone further away than I already have.
Feel free to come to me if you need something, but I won't push any of you away anymore if I can help it.
Today is one of those days, I'm afraid. I will lay my whole hand down on the table, knowing I went all in, and show that I busted, I didn't have the cards in hand to win, or even come close. Maybe at least I can still walk away with one chip.
The special people in my life should know by now that I enjoy their company, and that I care for them because they are my friends and I feel a connection to them. However, as much as I want things to go well, and as much energy and effort I put forth, I have still been falling short. I know I have nothing to offer you, nothing but myself and my friendship and affection, but that just isn't enough for people now days. I don't have a car, a nice job or a house of my own. I'm so many degrees of disappointment that no matter how awesome I may initially seem, once that wears off and the intrigue of me has passed I will inevitably be cast aside once again. This isn't a pity party, its just the reality of life. I am lacking, and in this world the ones who are lacking are not fit to achieve happiness, only to be a stepping stone for those who are greater to reach their own selfish goals.
So, what does this mean? It means I'm gonna stop. No bugging to hang out, no bothering late at night when I've had a bad day and need someone to talk to. As much as I love company, it is not worth the price I've been trying to pay... I don't want to be a burden or an annoyance, I don't want to push anyone further away than I already have.
Feel free to come to me if you need something, but I won't push any of you away anymore if I can help it.