Comments | screamlet: "ficmas card claim post" what does it MEAN

screamlet

"ficmas card claim post" what does it MEAN

Nov 13, 2010 10:09

While the AO3 crashes and burns from yuletide signups, I will bow to peer pressure from zap_rousdar and steal this thing from her and bogged.

~*HAPPY FICMAS CARD CLAIM POST*~
Instead of sending holiday cards, I want to write you a story. It will be at least 500 words, knowing me probably at least 2 or 3 thousand words. If you don't celebrate Christmas, it will be a ( Read more... )

this is not fic

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jane_potter November 14 2010, 00:59:32 UTC

I'm reusing the same prompts I left for kianspo and averzierlia, because I want to see how you approach them differently. And I really, really like both of these prompts.

I do Christmas as a commercial, secular holiday. ;)

Kirk/Spock. Either Vulcan misconceptions (*coughs* gossip) about human sexual practices and how they're freaky/weird/loud/scary, leading to Spock being utterly confused during their first time and wondering is Jim holding back for his sake/when is shit going to get weird/is Jim's sexuality abnormal. Alternatively, something about how Vulcans, for such an uptight species, have absolutely no body shame or desire for privacy, so when Jim and Spock are being transported on a Vulcan science vessel, they sleep in communal quarters, and none of the Vulcans, including Spock, think it's out of the ordinary for them to have (quiet) sex in a room full of other people. Jim tries really, really hard for Spock's sake and because, well, he doesn't want all these distinguished scientists seeing the human freak out! And maybe he could get into this ( ... )

K/S -- first time -- fun with genitalia! screamlet November 17 2010, 04:00:27 UTC

“Hm,” Spock says, “Your semen is white.”

“You’re talking, I fail,” Jim replies as he covers his face with a pillow. The three-second post-orgasm delay then has him tossing the pillow off and asking (three seconds later), “Wait, what? What color -- holy shit, you haven’t come yet is yours purple“I am unsure of what elements would have to be present in my body to produce purple semen,” Spock muses as he looks down at his semi-erect cock ( ... )

Re: K/S -- first time -- fun with genitalia! jane_potter November 17 2010, 16:38:45 UTC

Okay, so-- right from the first line, I knew it was going to be hilarious. I was NOT DISAPPOINTED.

I adore that the first thing Jim assumed was that it would be purple. Nothing between "I don't know what colour his semen is" to "it must be purple!" just an expressway right through.

“What did the crazy people tell you about Terrans, Spock?”
AH. YES. This means that these misinformed episodes have happened before! That sound you heard just now? That was me shrieking in glee (shrieking because I was shocked at the amount of (potentially hilarious) backstory that one sentence crammed into my head).

"I meant to applaud you on finding that so quickly."
*smothering laughter*

"OH HELL NO"
*failing hard at smothering laughter*

"With tendrils that react to --"
*wheezing like a hyena*

"and erect it’s a--"I want to know what Jim was going to say here, mostly because he stopped to correct himself. That says a thousand words right there. (And it's probably something ridiculously obvious, but I don't get it. And that was almost definitely not ( ... )

Re: K/S -- first time -- fun with genitalia! screamlet November 18 2010, 12:23:20 UTC

Oh, Jim's interruption was just him wondering how to describe his decent dick girth without sounding like a show off, ahahah.

THE WHOLE THING IS A CRACK AT SPOCK!COCK. TENDRILS AND PLANTS AND SHIT. I'd go off on a cultural studies rant about how the gossipy exoticiziation of other species is a way for one culture to distance themselves from another and make themselves feel superior to that foreign culture (like the ancient Greeks giving all their statues small penises to show that their culture was all about intellect, rather than an animalistic bent towards humping with their giant mammoth dicks), buuuut it's really early in the morning for that.

ANYWAY LONG COMMENT IS LONG, I'M GLAD YOU ENJOYED IT!!!!!

Re: K/S -- first time -- fun with genitalia! dlrzl November 20 2010, 02:20:44 UTC

BUT WHAT COLOR WAS IT

Re: K/S -- first time -- fun with genitalia! screamlet November 20 2010, 06:48:33 UTC

NOT GREEN, if the human equivalent of blood in semen (red/pink) is a BAD BAD SIGN.

.....YELLOW.

Re: K/S -- first time -- fun with genitalia! dlrzl November 20 2010, 16:44:58 UTC

you're so logical sometimes it's inspiring
DR.SCREAMLET MD

Re: K/S -- first time -- fun with genitalia! screamlet November 20 2010, 18:09:43 UTC

Hahahahaha SOMETIMES is def. the keyword there <33333

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Re: K/S -- first time -- fun with genitalia! screamlet November 21 2010, 16:40:12 UTC

<3333333

Re: K/S -- first time -- fun with genitalia! lavender_basil November 22 2010, 23:19:28 UTC

Oh! Spock!

Re: K/S -- first time -- fun with genitalia! screamlet November 28 2010, 17:47:13 UTC

Oh, Virgin!Spock, you have a space in all our hearts.

screamlet November 17 2010, 04:06:57 UTC

Also, re: the second prompt -- I couldn't fill it since one of the only things we know about Vulcans from TOS is that they have a really intense desire for privacy -- it's the cornerstone of "Amok Time" and, yeah. Also, it's not just privacy re: sex and everything, but even the basic functions of biology are, quite stupidly/dangerously, were played close to the vest in TOS, so. Yeah. Shame is something else entirely, but I'd even go so far as to say privacy is one of the defining characteristics of Vulcans in general? I just don't think it's plausible, but I'd like to see how kianspo and averzierlla might choose to handle it!

jane_potter November 17 2010, 16:19:23 UTC

My noob badge, it is showing. *facepalm* I cringe a lot at saying this, but I haven't seen Amok Time. Or... any TOS episode. Anything I know was picked up from fandom talking about it/rebooting it, and I guess that didn't quite communicate the impressions given by the original episode; yes, the stories always say that Vulcans are super private about pon farr, but does it ever end up that way in the fic? Nope, that would get in the way of the romance. In any case, the way I ended up reading that was that they had pon farr privacy issues, not necessarily sex-in-general privacy issues, and, er, my kink ran away with me then.

So this is me, cursing YouTube for not making TOS episodes available in Canada. :(

BUT OH MY GOD YOUR FILL, ON THE OTHER HAND, IT IS AWESOME. LET ME COMMENT ON IT NOW.

screamlet November 18 2010, 12:14:44 UTC

Awww, dammit youtube/Canada! Have you joined ontd_startrek? Because I think there are locked posts that could rectify this situation.

The privacy thing is why the "Amok Time"/Spock talking to Jim about pon farr is such an oft-used trope? Spock spends the first quarter of the episode being batshit insane and refusing to talk to anyone, but he finally tells Jim (and ONLY Jim) once his life is in danger? And then in other episodes, McCoy just yells about Vulcan biology being weird, and for two episodes there's a Vulcan specialist on board named M'Benga who had to actually study ON Vulcan to know wtf was going on with Spock medically. YOUR RAMBLY INTRODUCTION TO THE SECRETS OF VULCAN BIOLOGY. ENJOY.

jane_potter November 18 2010, 16:08:35 UTC

"Spock spends the first quarter of the episode being batshit insane and refusing to talk to anyone, but he finally tells Jim (and ONLY Jim) once his life is in danger?"
Wow, okay. Colour me very, very misguided. The weird thing about all the fics I've read discussing the trope is that they say it's all very private, but don't show it. I've never seen Spock displaying that same degree of reluctance. (Maybe I'm just not reading the right fics?) *bows* THIS CALLS FOR WIKIPEDIA.

ONTD_STARTREK OMG. *rushes off*

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