Twist of Fate (Scott/Logan, Scott/Jean) Comicverse

Apr 07, 2013 04:56

Title: Twist of Fate
Fandom: X-Men
Pairing: Scott/Logan, Scott/Jean
Rating: M

Summary: (Loosely based on ANXM) Jean seeks out present day Scott to confront the new memories and feelings she's experiencing about their relationship with one another while Logan and teenage Scott have a heart to heart with one another leaving Scott to learn more about the man he became in the future.

“Jean,” Scott thought to himself as he sat in the midst of the old Weapon X facility thinking about how far his life had taken him. There before him was the one woman he’d never been able to forget looking as beautiful as ever in serving him as a reminder of the man he once was. In their brief confrontation Scott had seen himself in the past, watched as the woman he’d centered so much of his life around had come to him, angry and confused by circumstance. She was overwhelmed by him, much like he’d been in seeing her, yet as his thoughts lingered back to the time in his life when he’d been with her, he found himself increasingly on edge. So much had changed. So many dreams had ended for him bringing him to the place in his life where he had no choice, but to push forward and do what was necessary for survival. He’d buried his emotions, kept a lid on his thoughts and hid his heart for longer than he could remember, yet in seeing her everything had changed. For the first time in a long time he’d come to accept the realization that he was lost--truly lost.

“Was it real for us?” Jean’s voice broke through his thoughts when he looked up from where he’d been seated to discover her standing before him. Looking every bit as beautiful as he’d remembered she was well within his reach, eyeing him with curiosity behind her big, beautiful eyes. Her posture was weary, her lips parted in contemplation as she held the rail beside her. She made a small step forward before rethinking her movement.

“H-how did you get here?” Scott questioned unable to mask his surprised in seeing her standing before him.

“I saw your thoughts…” she bit down on her lower lip nervously, “all of them Scott.”

“Jean,” he opened his mouth to say something to redeem himself in her eyes, but instead he turned his back to her. Dropping his head down somberly he let out a long sigh, “you shouldn’t be here.”

“I’m well aware of that,” she explained when he heard the clicking of her feet over the floor beneath them, “but at the same time I couldn’t stay away. I needed to know.”

“You know everything,” Scott replied somberly, “Everything that’s happened since you’ve been gone…”

“I’ve seen shades of the life we had together Scott. I watched through your eyes the things that we endured, what we shared through the good and the bad,” she paused when her voice began to crack with emotion, “I felt the love between us stronger than anything I’ve ever known. I realize that we haven’t shared it yet, but…”

“I’m sorry,” Scott turned around to face her fully, “I wish that I could’ve lived up to being the man you wanted me to be, but I had no choice. Everything I’ve done…”

“I’ve seen those things as well Scott,” Jean softened her tone. Her eyes were glistening with tears when she spoke to him, “and at first I hated you for it. I blamed you for everything that everyone was saying to me. I was horrified and disgusted, so lost inside of myself and overwhelmed by what they were telling us, but…”

“But what?” he questioned attempting to quell the emotional outpour that carried over him.

“You’re lost,” she finished standing up taller, “I can see that now. I understand.”

“No,” Scott shook his head firmly, “you don’t understand and I pray like hell that you never do. You need to leave.”

“Scott,” she appealed to him once again when he turned his back to her, “please. Don’t just leave things like this. I know that I might not have lived it all yet, but I’ve seen it through your memories--through your thoughts and through…”

“What?” he questioned tipping his head back over his shoulder when he sensed her hesitance.

“Wolverine’s thoughts,” she answered shakily, “I saw everything.”

“Jean,” Scott tensed up at the mention of the man who had been a part of his life well beyond Jean’s absence, “I don’t know what you think you saw, but…”

“I know how heartbroken you both were when you lost me,” she took a small step forward, “How you wanted to hate each other as a means of dealing with the grief, but beyond that… Scott, I know that you love him and he loves you.”

“Don’t,” Scott’s jaw flexed with tension, “Jean, what you saw was never meant for your eyes. I never thought that…”

“I realize that,” she nodded in confession, “and truth be told I wasn’t quite prepared for that either. It’s not anything I’d imagined from you, yet…”

“Don’t say it,” Scott found himself horrified by the darker part of his sexual history that he’d fought like hell to keep away from Jean in their time together. While he’d never acted on impulse until Emma had worked her way into his subconscious, he’d always fought to keep those thoughts just out of Jean’s reach, to prevent her from knowing just how deep his obsession with Logan had run. Hell, he’d continued to keep it buried long after Jean had passed. He’d kept it tucked away inside of him, refusing to acknowledge it even after he and Logan had unceremoniously parted ways with one another.

“I didn’t understand it at first, but now in this time,” she looked around the room they were in, “I do.”

“Jean,” Scott opened his mouth to say anything, to try to explain to the youthful version of the woman he’d loved that things had escalated, that life had changed without her in ways he hadn’t imagined. He thought of his feelings for Logan, of the things that he wouldn’t ever be able to say now that he’d sealed his fate, yet in looking into Jean’s eyes he found himself surprised by the lack of disgust and horror in them.

“He’s a bit rough around the edges,” Jean conceded making another small step towards him, “and I’m not quite sure I like him, but I can see that he makes you happy when you aren’t pretending to hate each other.”

“You didn’t always feel that way,” Scott let out an ironic laugh, “Logan found a way to grow on you.”

“I saw what he felt for me as well, but it was different than what you felt…what you still feel,” Jean bridged the distance between them in reaching out to touch his cheek.

“Jean,” Scott closed his eyes and leaned into the embrace knowing that he should turn her away, but instead he found himself trapped in a moment of the past remembering the love he’d carried for her.

“I saw so many times you wanted to work up the courage to tell me, to show me what you felt for me, but I made it difficult,” Jean whispered soothingly as her fingers pushed beyond his cheekbone into his thick, dark hair, “Even now I’m shunning you because of the situation we were thrown into.”

“Hank never should’ve brought you here,” Scott placed his hand over Jean’s on the side of his face, “He never should’ve shown you these things.”

“Regardless of what should or shouldn’t have happened Scott, the fact to the matter is that we can’t turn back now,” she lowered her voice when she arched up closer to him, “and truth be told a part of me isn’t sure that I want to either.”

“Jean,” he opened his eyes to see her staring at him with such love and concern that he couldn’t help, but reach out to her. He touched her cheek, brushing his thumb over her bottom lip when she let out a tiny exhale, “you shouldn’t be here.”

“Maybe not, but you need me here Scott,” she whispered warmly against the pad of his thumb, “We need this.”

“No,” Scott choked up on his words, “You’re gone. This isn’t real. This shouldn’t be happening and…”

“What should and shouldn’t be is no longer an issue, but as for us,” she whimpered when Scott’s fingers pushed into her soft, flowing hair, “once I saw inside of you, I’ve been overwhelmed by the idea of us. I’ve been experiencing our time together again and again knowing that there’s no way in the world that I’ll ever feel this way about anyone else again. I realize that it might not have happened for us where I’m at, but Scott I can’t shut it off. It’s too powerful to ignore…”

“All the more reason for you to leave,” Scott insisted with an exaggerated breath, “Jean, you must hate me for all I’ve done.”

“How can I hate you for things I’ve seen myself do as well?” she questioned with a tiny whimper, “I watched myself destroy so many lives. I saw how out of control I was when the Phoenix took control. I felt your pain, your anguish and most of all your love Scott. I can see that you would’ve risked everything for me--for us…”

“But I hurt you…I betrayed you by…” he lowered his head shamefully.

“I saw what happened with Emma and Wolverine,” she stiffened at the mention of the past he’d carried with him long after her absence, “I know what life did to us Scott, but maybe that’s why I’m here. Maybe Hank’s reasoning was to show me what we did wrong--what mistakes we made so that we can…”

“Can what?” he questioned feeling a single tear slip past his cheek.

“So we can right the wrongs between us,” she whispered rising up on her toes. Her arm snaked around his neck, drawing him in closer to her in a kiss as Scott found himself giving in to temptation. He hesitated briefly knowing that kissing her was wrong, yet with the memory of their love burning on the forefront between them, he found himself captivated, completely taken by her spell when their lips met with the same longing and familiarity as they had all those years ago. His arm curved around her slender waist thinking about how soft and warm she felt beside him when her lips parted. His tongue dipped inside of her tasting everything that he’d once loved. Everything that defined the man that he was in his youth was well within his reach calling out to him after the sins he’d lived carried over every part of him.

“Wait,” Scott pulled back severing the ties between them when he looked down at Jean’s flushed features, “we can’t do this.”

“We already have Scott,” Jean arched up towards him again, “It’s part of who we are. It was our destiny to…”

“No,” Scott shook his head and sighed, “our path together fell apart a long time ago because the world around us was beyond our control. I fell into chaos because…”

“You saved our kind Scott,” Jean blurted out in an impassioned tone, “Even if everyone wants to condemn you, you gave life to Xavier’s dream at all cost to you. You sacrificed all that you were to live up to his ideals and now…”

“I’m an outcast--a monster in their eyes,” Scott shuddered at the thought of what he’d become.

“Not to me. Never to me,” Jean cupped his face in her hands, “Scott Summers, deep down you’re still the same loyal, scared, uncertain boy I fell in love with--the one that I’ll always love.”

“Jean,” Scott whispered her name, taking her into his arms as he found himself lost in another time in place. Since he’d killed Xavier he’d been lost, trapped inside of himself, but with Jean’s arms around him he’d felt warmth and familiarity. His world wasn’t empty any longer as he found himself holding onto the woman he loved knowing that it was never meant to be. He was never meant to share these feelings with her again, yet with every sweet taste of her lips against his, he found himself giving in to desire he thought would be long gone from his life.

xxxxx

“Leave me alone Logan!” Scott snapped clenching his fists at his sides as he stood at the edge of the cliff looking down at the world beyond him. Everything had changed. Life as he’d known it was crumbling right before his very eyes all because of the sins he’d yet come to commit. In his youth he’d found that Hank had changed things for him. He’d brought Scott and the others to a place where Scott had been hated and feared, loathed by the world around him to a greater extent than he’d ever been in his life. They all saw him as a monster, all viewed him as a murderer as he was forced to live with the fact that his older self had killed his mentor. It was beyond overwhelming as Scott took it all in, but what was worse was the knowing that Jean would never look at him the same way again. She wouldn’t ever feel for him what he’d felt for her. She hated him. It was clear as day in the way that she was avoiding him--in the way that they were all avoiding him. Now all he was faced with was the hell of knowing he’d ruined any kind of future for himself in this time.

“Slim, we need to talk,” Logan took a tentative step forward in watching Scott standing on the cliff.

“I have nothing to say,” Scott turned his attention to the world beyond him once again, “There’s no point anymore.”

“There’s plenty of a point,” Logan moved forward to step in behind Scott, “Whatever it is you’re thinking, I have to tell you kid it’s not the answer. It’s so far from being the right thing that you should just stop considering it now.”

“Considering it…” Scott repeated turning around to face Logan again with a horrified expression, “Considering what? Did you…did you think that I was going to…to kill myself?”

“I’d just…I’d just assumed after what I saw at the school that…” Logan stopped himself when he gave Scott a long once over. No matter how many times he tried to wrap his mind around what Hank had done, it didn’t take away from the oddness of it all. Time and time again Logan had tried to rationalize what was happening, to tell himself that he didn’t need to think about Scott Summers, yet in seeing the teenage version of the man Logan was still crazy about standing before him lost inside of himself, Logan’s protective instincts began to take over.

“That what? That I was so useless that I may as well consider doing myself in after I murdered the man who gave me a second chance?” Scott questioned with devastation carrying over his voice, “I get that I made a mistake Logan, but I wasn’t the man who did it. I didn’t murder Xavier, yet everyone acts as if I’m responsible for something I’m yet to…”

“They’re just as confused by this as you are,” Logan explained making a cautious movement towards Scott, “Just like I am.”

“Right,” Scott turned away when he made a small sniffling sound, “everyone sees me as the man who condemned them all, yet…”

“That’s where you’re wrong,” Logan softened his tone, “they just don’t understand. There were forces beyond your control at the time…”

“Oh please,” Scott groaned outwardly with a shake of his head, “everyone told me that you are the one who hates me the most. You blame me for…”

“No,” Logan answered firmly, “I don’t Scott. I know that what you did…what you did for the future…while it was reckless you never asked for this. You never meant to kill Chuck.”

“But I did,” Scott turned around to face him fully, “and everyone hates me. Everyone thinks that I’m a monster. Jean is disgusted by me and…”

“She’s confused,” Logan moved in closer to him, “This is all hitting her like it’s hitting you, but I can assure you that she’ll come around. If I know nothing else about Jeanie, it’s that she loves you Scott.”

“How?” Scott questioned somberly, “Maybe she loved him, but she’ll never love me now because of him.”

“Give it time kid. What you and Jeanie had…” Logan paused when a long sigh carried over his lips, “not even I could get between the both of you and believe me I tried.”

“You mean?” Scott frowned as he clenched his hands into fists at his side, “You were…”

“You and I didn’t exactly have the best of friendships kid, but what we did have,” Logan’s eyes cast over the lean lines of Scott’s body realizing just how vulnerable and lost he was. It was unlike anything he’d ever seen out of the strong, stoic man he’d fallen for, yet in having Scott before him as a shell of his future self, Logan’s heart went out to him, “well, let’s just say that it’s the one thing I’ve grown to count on through the years.”

“What? In hating me?” Scott questioned turning away from Logan. He opened his mouth to say something more, but found himself at a loss when he sank down to the ground overtaken by sobs, “Face it Logan. My life is over.”

“No,” Logan moved in beside him. He took a seat on the cliff beside Scott unable to quell his instincts when he reached out to wrap his arm around Scott, “it’s not. It’s only beginning…”

“What kind of future do I have when the world around me despises me?” Scott began to sob into Logan’s chest. The movement was unexpected, yet welcome as Logan curled his arm around Scott tighter than before. Unable to help himself Logan squeezed Scott in closer hoping to alleviate Scott’s fears.

“They just don’t understand. For the longest time I didn’t either Slim, but now I know…” Logan choked up on the words he’d kept buried inside of him for so very long, “you’re the chosen one. You’re the man who has made the most difference for all of us. Without you we wouldn’t have a future.”

“Right,” Scott sniffled as Logan squeezed Scott in closer yet, “I almost believe that.”

“You should,” Logan coached him on further, “We were on the verge of extinction, yet you were willing to put yourself at risk. You made the decisions that none of us were brave enough to tackle. You pushed aside everything that meant anything for you only to face a future of being loathed by our kind, yet if it wasn’t for you we wouldn’t have a future Scott. I might not have been able to admit to that before, but I’m saying it now. Scott Summers you are a hero regardless of the consequences you’ve had to face from it.”

“Some hero I’ve turned out to be,” Scott raised his chin up as he gazed up at Logan through his ruby, quartz glasses.

“You’ve always been a hero to me,” Logan confessed reaching out to touch cheek in a tender brush. His fingers felt the warmth of Scott’s skin lending weight to it’s softness. Unlike his future self it was devoid of the stubble that Logan had once enjoyed pressed up against his skin. Instead it was smooth and without the worry lines around his mouth. He was soft and vulnerable lost in emotion that his future self would never readily reveal to the world around him. In an instant Logan found himself caught up in a moment, carried away by the man he knew Scott would become when he brushed his thumb over Scott’s hollowed cheekbone.

“Logan?” Scott questioned with a weariness in his voice when Logan leaned in closer to him.

“You’ve always been everything to me Scott,” Logan divulged dipping down to capture Scott’s plump, savory lips in his as he had time and time again in the past. Only unlike all the other times in the Danger Room when things had started off frantic and violent, this was tender, more thought out as Logan skimmed the surface of Scott’s mouth with a small nibble.

“Logan!” Scott sat up straighter. He brought one arm out between them placing his hand over Logan’s chest to create a distance between them, “What are you doing?”

“I’m sorry,” Logan apologized with a half smirk, “habit I guess.”

“Habit,” Scott gulped down hard at Logan’s words. He stiffened scooting a bit further away from Logan before eyeing him wearily, “Are you trying to say that you and I…?”

“I’m sorry,” Logan apologized realizing the weight of his actions. In the future he and Scott had been lovers, but in Scott’s youth he’d known nothing about having feelings for another man. He hadn’t given in to desire until much later when Jeanie was gone and…

“I…I don’t understand,” Scott pushed a hand up through his thick, dark hair, “Did I say something to make you believe that?”

“It’s my fault,” Logan attempted to backpedal, “I’m the one who wasn’t thinking considering that you really shouldn’t be here to begin with. You’re not the Scott you are in my time and…”

“Are you saying that you and he…?” Scott gulped down harder than before, “Were you…?”

“It isn’t going to help you to know that answer,” Logan looked forward silently condemning himself for crossing the line with a man who had no idea of their rich and tortured history with one another.

“I’m smart enough to see you’ve already given me one with that kiss,” Scott brought his hand up over his lips when confusion carried over him, “but I love Jean.”

“I know that,” Logan nodded as he noticed a car driving beyond the bottom of the cliff moving with headlights on when the sunlight faded around them, “I’ve always been aware of that.”

“Yet you and I have been…” Scott paused thinking about the situation at hand, “together?”

“Every now and then,” Logan divulged revealing nothing more when his thoughts returned to the revolutionary Scott out there doing what needed to be done while Logan focused on keeping the remains of Xavier’s dream alive.

“We’re lovers?” Scott gulped down in realization, “Now?”

“We’re in an off period,” Logan shrugged his shoulders simply, “but that doesn’t mean I care for you any less.”

“Does Jean…?” Scott hesitated in his questioning, “Does she know about us? That we…?”

“No,” Logan paused giving weight to a moment of contemplation, “well, maybe she did towards the end, but she never said anything. She didn’t have to because we didn’t really act upon it until after we lost her.”

“You mean we’ve been…” Scott rubbed his hand over the top of his head, “we’re in love with one another?”

“We’ve never given it that label,” Logan tipped his head to the side and gave Scott a long once over, “We didn’t believe in solidifying it that way.”

“So then we’re what…?” Scott gulped down harder as his face grew flushed at the thought of what Logan was sharing with him, “Are we having sex with one another?”

“Every now and then,” Logan nodded catching the way that Scott’s lips parted with astonishment and curiosity.

“But I’m not…” Scott tried to rationalize what Logan was saying to him.

“You weren’t until after Jeanie died,” Logan clarified with the beginnings of a frown, “It’s not that we didn’t think about it, but we both respected her enough not to…”

“To be together like…that?” Scott bit down on his lower lip nervously. He looked to the world beyond where they sat with one another taking in the news in silence. Logan contemplated saying something further, but kept his thoughts to himself until Scott spoke up again, “So what happened to us Logan?”

“What?” Logan questioned looking to Scott again.

“Did I disappoint you as well? Is that why you stopped believing in me?” Scott asked in a low, vulnerable tone, “Is that why we’re…over?”

“Over?” Logan repeated seeing Scott tremble beside him. Despite the awkwardness of the situation Logan reached out to pull Scott in against him once again, “Scott, you and I are far from over even if the world around us doesn’t understand it at times?”

“So then you’re saying that…” Scott stopped himself when he raised his chin up towards Logan, “…you still…still love me?”

“I’ve never stopped,” Logan divulged readily in finding himself met by newfound feelings of honesty with the younger version of Scott at his side. Reaching out to touch Scott’s face, he thought of all the things he hadn’t said, the things he hadn’t done to prevent the fallout between him and Scott through the years. Instead he’d provoked things, finding ways to create problems between them in ways he hadn’t anticipated when he left Scott. There hadn’t been a time he hadn’t regretted it, hadn’t wanted to change things, but he’d been too stubborn and too proud to give in to it.

“So you do love me?” Scott questioned with a warm, sensual breath as his lips parted.

“More than I ever imagined possible,” Logan confessed leaning in closer to Scott as their lips collided again, this time with a lack of resistance on Scott’s part. Instead Scott reached out sliding his arm around Logan’s powerful shoulders to draw him in closer.

Perhaps it was curiosity or the weight of trying to understand that had guided Scott to take such a bold action, but regardless Logan wasn’t going to fight it. Instead he allowed himself to guide Scott back onto the ground where he hovered over Scott giving way to temptation. He felt Scott’s lean, slender legs part, allowing Logan access to Scott’s long, lean form. With each teasing taste Logan took of Scott’s lips in a kiss, he could feel the lack of experience rush over him. Scott was eager, surprisingly enthusiastic and awkward in the movements that carried over him when Logan’s fingers stroked at the side of Scott’s face to open him up further to the kiss.

“Logan,” Scott whispered as their lips parted, mouths still a fraction of an inch away from one another. Sliding his fingers into Scott’s hair, Logan watched as color surrounded Scott’s features, bringing attention to the sudden arousal in the air between them. Instinctively Scott licked his lips with fingers gripping into Logan’s shoulder when Logan lay over him. After another long sigh Scott began to massage his fingers over Logan’s shoulders with a contented breath, “do we always feel like this?”

“Sometimes it’s even better,” Logan divulged diving down for a more thorough exploration of Scott’s mouth, longing to taste and tease him in the ways he’d learned through the years that Scott had liked. It had been so long since he’d been able to hold Scott, to tell him what he’d meant to him, yet without the weight of the world upon them, Logan found himself revealing the truth he’d harbored inside of him for so very long. Dropping his lips to the side of Scott’s neck, he nibbled down on the savory flesh loving the sound of the whimper Scott made when Logan’s other hand reached down to guide Scott’s leg around his thick, muscular bottom, “I love you.”

“I…I…” Scott hesitated caught up in a moment of confusion when he realized he was grinding up beneath Logan. Never before had he responded to a person so readily, so willing after he’d thought about only Jean. Even now in having Logan over him, he’d fought to remember how many times he’d guiltily immersed himself in thoughts of Jean. He’d fantasized about her time and time again in his attempts to work up the courage to ask her out, but with Logan everything was so very different--so intense that he found himself overwhelmed.

“It’s okay,” Logan brushed his thumb over Scott’s bottom lip, “you don’t have to say it. I know you don’t feel it yet. How could you considering that what we shared with one another is a long time from now for you?”

“Do I still…?” Scott questioned squeezing at Logan’s shoulders, “Do I still feel it now in your time? Do I still want you like this?”

“What do you think?” Logan inquired with an arch of his brow when Scott pulled himself up off of the ground to get in closer to Logan. Instinctively Logan felt Scott tug at the back of his hair guiding their mouths together again in a heated pull of desire. Before Logan could question it Scott’s leg wrapped tightly around his body, arching up off of the ground into Logan with a newfound determination.

“Scott,” Logan breathed as their lips parted once again.

“I don’t want to be alone anymore Logan,” Scott’s words vibrated against Logan’s lips when he coaxed Logan in closer to him.

The raw, aching need of Scott’s request carried over Logan making him realize that once again he’d be going to hell in the future when his time had expired. While he hadn’t intended to open the door to trouble when he’d sought out Scott in a state of upset, it was now wide open revealing things that Logan feared would change the course of the future. However, as he gave himself to the kiss, he realized it had been too long. He and Scott had come too far to turn back from the fantasy even if the Scott in his arms had no idea of just what had transpired through the years with him and Logan. Instead of familiarity each touch was filled with newness, with a tenderness Logan had kept on reserve for years in knowing that the current version of Scott would have found insult in. However, with Scott’s youthful, flushed features before him, Logan was finally free to be honest with the one thing he’d kept tucked away inside of him long after he’d foolishly let Scott go.

xxxxx

Scott felt Jean’s arm draped over his chest, bringing the weight of reality to the situation that he’d allowed to happen. Instead of being smart enough to say no and do what he knew was right, he’d given in to his emotions, much like he had when the Phoenix Force was inside of him. He’d lost himself in his pain so much so that he’d foolishly leapt at the chance to have Jean in his arms again. Even if it hadn’t been right, there was a part of him begging for their connection, that needed to know everything they’d felt was still integral to them as he held her. Making love to her hadn’t been a part of the plan, yet as she snuggled in against him pressing a soft, teasing kiss over the center of his chest, he knew he was beyond reprehensible in his actions.

“We shouldn’t have done this,” Scott whispered squeezing his arm around Jean’s back to keep her close to him.

“I know,” she agreed tracing a scar over the center of his chest.

“You shouldn’t be here,” Scott mouthed knowing that he was going to burn for his actions, “I shouldn’t have…”

“You’re right,” she pulled her head up to look down at him, “we shouldn’t have. Both of us knew it would be a mistake, yet…”

“This will destroy everything,” Scott felt her twist over him, to guide herself into a position where she could be staring down at him, touching his face.

“Only if we allow it to,” she whispered dipping down to kiss him once again, “Scott, I wasn’t sure before, but now I know…”

“…what a monster I am?” Scott questioned choked up on emotion when she bent down to kiss his forehead tenderly.

“No,” she replied with a shake of her head. Her damp hair surrounded his shoulders teasing over the side of his face when she smiled down at him with her beautiful, lovely grin, “I see now what I must do. I know that you and I aren’t wrong…that we were always meant to be.”

“Jean,” he opened his mouth to say something more when she pressed her index finger over his lips to silence him.

“I owe the other you an apology across town,” she explained drawing in a nervous breath, “I’ve been treating you horribly, but only because I knew that once we faced this the course of our lives would change together.”

“Jean,” Scott reached out to hold her knowing he shouldn’t welcome it, yet in thinking of all they’d lost, he couldn’t help, but savor the memory a few seconds longer, “losing you was the worst thing that’s ever happened to me. Everything I’ve done has been guided on by that. The man that I am is defined by that moment in time where…”

“I want you to live Scott,” she whispered laying her head down on his shoulder, “I know we’ve changed things. I don’t know what the future will have in store for us after this or even if Charles will let me remember what we’ve shared once I return to my time, but for now, well I just want you to know that I could never hate you. I understand. I realize what you’ve been through and how everything has taken it’s toll on you. I know what you were afraid of…of what you wanted to hide…”

“Jean,” Scott felt his chest tighten when she raised her head up to look at him once again.

“I forgive you for Emma and for Logan,” she paused when her face grew flushed with embarrassment, “Truth be told that was something that I didn’t think I would be able to gain an understanding on, but after I looked into both of your thoughts…well, I understand it Scott. I know how hard it was for you to keep that inside of you. I also know that despite his angry façade that he still loves you. He still wants and desires you…”

“We haven’t been together in a very long time Jean,” Scott explained to her with a frown, “We parted ways and…”

“You still need one another. That hasn’t changed,” she divulged pressing a kiss over his shoulder once again, “He still wants you.”

“It doesn’t matter what he wants. This situation I’ve created is now…” Scott began somberly.

“It doesn’t matter what the situation is Scott. He loves you and he’s still here,” Jean’s eyes clouded over with tears when she reached out to cup his face in her hands, “I’m not. I’m gone, but that doesn’t mean that you have to stop living because of it.”

“Jean, that’s not what I…” Scott opened his mouth to say something more only to feel her press her index finger over his lips to silence him.

“I don’t know what the future brings for either one of us, but I do know that if things turn out the same way, I don’t want this for you. I don’t want you to be alone and miserable,” she continued in an impassioned tone, “I know that you tried with Emma--that you wanted to make it work, but you were always holding back. Maybe it was the guilt, but regardless it hasn’t stopped the way you feel about Logan either. I know you were thinking about him--even when we were making love he slipped into your thoughts Scott.”

“I didn’t think you could see that,” color carried over Scott’s features, “I’d thought that…”

“…that was your first mistake,” Jean smiled back down at him, “and maybe before when I was a part of your world I wasn’t able to come to terms with that, but I’m not the same anymore. Being here has changed me.”

“I know,” Scott nodded as he kept her in his arms.

“We’ve both changed, which is why I know what I must do,” she explained in an impassioned tone, “I have to find a way to get us to go back. I need to go to the other you and tell him that I love him--that he and I belong together.”

“I know that’s all he could ever ask for,” Scott whispered drawing her in for a kiss, “that’s the one dream he’s carried around inside of him for so long.”

“I realize that, but I also can see that dreams change,” she snuggled in over him again. Reaching for his hand she laced their fingers together and let out a long, comforting breath, “When I’m gone you need to fix things with Logan. You need to go back to him and make things right Scott. It’s the only way you’re ever going to truly find peace in your life.”

“I know,” Scott agreed closing his eyes as he focused on the warmth of her body over him in knowing it would be the last time they shared such an experience with one another, “I do love him Jean. It’s different than what we have, but…”

“Just as strong,” she finished for him, “I want that for you Scott. I want you to be happy.”

“You’ve made me so very happy through the years. Even though you haven’t experienced the things we shared yet, there were so many wonderful memories,” Scott continued to rehash the memories of the life he’d once clung to with all that he was.

“I know,” she nestled in closer to him, “and I can’t wait to share all of them with you. Through the good and the bad I know in my heart that you’ll always be the only man for me Scott Summers. You are the great love of my life.”

“And you’re mine,” Scott promised keeping Jean in his arms as he knew that the world around them would soon be changing once again, “That hasn’t changed.”

“I wouldn’t expect it to, but as I said, give your heart the chance for another great love,” she urged him on as she pulled herself up to kiss him, “Give Logan another chance. Give yourself another chance.”

“I will,” he promised as their lips came together in a kiss that would forever change the course of his destiny.

xxxxx

Standing in his room at the school Scott couldn’t help, but find himself thinking about the previous evening he’d put behind him. His self-loathing trip had turned into something he hadn’t anticipated. When Logan had surprised him he’d learned something new about himself, something he’d been completely unprepared for, yet it had captivated him in ways he hadn’t thought possible. Taking in a breath he looked out the window thinking about that place on the cliff where he and Logan had succumbed to passion with one another. Never before had he considered being with another man. The very idea had been preposterous before last night, yet when everything played out between them Scott had found himself overwhelmed with lust and sensation in ways he hadn’t imagined possible.

“I know this won’t make sense to you,” Logan had whispered after they’d fallen to exhaustion in one another’s arms, “and I know I’m complicating the hell out of your life kiddo, but I really do care about you.”

“I know,” Scott had snuggled in against Logan struggling to gain a feel for the emotions that had carried over him, “I can see why the other me loves you as well Logan.”

“I promise you everything is going to get better,” Logan had sworn kissing the top of his head, “I won’t let anything bad happen to you.”

And for the night Scott had believed it. Being lost in Logan’s arms he’d found purpose and reason again. It was the first time since he’d arrived in this crazy world that he’d felt alive, that everything made sense for him. Even when the others had turned against him there was something with Logan that went beyond comprehension. It was hard to put to words when he thought of the connection they’d made with one another. Physically Scott hadn’t ever crossed that line with anyone before. He hadn’t even been sure he’d wanted to until Logan’s hands and lips robbed him of all logic. Everything about the night had been beyond his expectations and for the first time in what felt like forever he’d felt like he belonged. That was until he’d awakened the next morning to discover Logan had left. He’d set a jacket aside for Scott and a brief note that Scott had tucked away in his pocket suggesting that they talk about things later.

“Later,” Scott mouthed to himself as he looked around the dorm room he was in. Thinking about bedding the head master of the school Scott realized things were going to be complicated as hell. As if the world didn’t hate him enough, he had to face the reality that he’d slept with another man--that he had found feelings for someone that wasn’t Jean. It was enough to set him on edge, to keep him wondering what the future would hold now that he’d gone down a dramatically different path.

“There you are,” Hank’s voice roused him from his thoughts, “Scott, we need to talk.”

“Hank,” Scott cleared his throat and turned around to face him fully, “hey.”

“Look, I know what you did last night,” Hank began with a sudden seriousness in his voice.

“Excuse me,” Scott gulped down in a panic when he feared that his old friend had learned about his night with Logan.

“With leaving like you did,” Hank clarified, “I know you were upset because of the way we were treating you. We were wrong Scott.”

“Hank, I really don’t want to talk about…” Scott began nervously.

“I do because we were wrong Scott. None of us should’ve behaved the way that we did when…” Hank’s words were interrupted when Jean entered the room.

“He’s right Scott,” Jean stared up at him with a concerned expression on his face, “We never should’ve come here in the first place. What we did to you was wrong. We had no idea the way our lives have gone, but now, well now I think it’s time for us to go home again.”

“But…” Scott looked between Hank and Jean as he found himself at a loss.

“My other self is healing,” Hank noted with a frown, “and he’s come to realize that the longer we stay here, the more things are going to get torn apart. Going back feels like the right thing. There’s nothing more we can do here.”

“Hank’s right,” Jean stepped forward. She hesitated before looking over her shoulder at Hank, “Can you give us a second?”

“Sure,” Hank nodded, “I’ll go speak with the others.”

“Jean,” Scott spoke up when Hank left them alone, “listen I…”

“I’m sorry Scott,” Jean stepped in closer to wrap her arms around him readily, “I let this place get in the way of what is going on and that was wrong. We were all wrong for coming here and thinking we could change things.”

“Jean,” Scott found himself at a loss as she held onto him.

“I want to go home Scott,” Jean confessed pulling back just enough to search his features, “I want us to pick up where we left off in our own time. This place has to sort itself out without us. We knew that from the start, but we were carried away by curiosity and now…”

“So much has happened,” Scott finished for her when he realized she no longer looked at him with the same hate she’d carried in her eyes a few days earlier.

“Too much, which is why I know the best thing we can do is let the chips fall as they may,” Jean squeezed her fingers into his shoulders, “It’s time for us to return to our own time, to experience our own lives without the interference of the future.”

“But if we leave now…” Scott paused as he remembered the night he’d put behind him.

“We give our other selves the chance to make things right,” Jean let out an exaggerated breath when she touched the side of his face, “and I know that’s what you’ll do Scott. I believe in you and have faith that you’ll do the right thing.”

“Everyone else thinks that…” Scott opened his mouth to protest.

“I don’t care what everyone else thinks. All that matters is that you believe in you,” she explained with a small smile, “I already do Scott and I have no doubts that they will figure it all out here soon enough.”

“Maybe you’re right,” Scott conceded as she threw her arms around him again. Reluctantly he embraced her, holding her closer than before when he raised his head up to see Logan standing in the doorway watching the exchange. Suddenly feeling overwhelmed by guilt Scott contemplated pulling away from Jean, but before he could do so Logan intervened.

“She’s right,” Logan added surprising Jean with his presence in the room, “It’s time for you to go home.”

“But…” Scott opened his mouth to say something, anything that would make sense of the changes he’d made in the last twenty four hours. He’d been miserable, lost inside of himself and hating everything about who he was before Logan. He’d found himself wishing for an out until he’d fallen into Logan’s arms. Now with the memory of Logan fresh and surrounding him, Scott couldn’t help, but long for something more. He’d felt a taste of heaven the night before and now in knowing it would soon leave him, he felt himself filled with regret.

“No buts,” Logan shook his head and offered up a firm warning look, “you have your path Slim. So do I.”

“We all do,” Jean agreed taking Scott’s hand as it was clear that once again life as Scott Summers knew it was about to change. The future had been set into motion and there was no fighting it.

“It’s time to go home Slim,” Logan offered up as Scott felt his heart sink in knowing that even in his return life would never be the same again.

xxxxx

Logan stood outside of the Jean Grey School watching as the original five had left back home for their time. While he’d imagined it would’ve been for the best from the beginning, he’d realized that things had already changed so much. A part of him had selfishly wanted to keep Scott beside him, to beg him to stay long after the others had left, but instead all he’d given Scott was a pat on the back and words of encouragement that he knew Scott was going to be alright. In those moments Scott had seemed so miserable, so conflicted beyond what he’d been the night before. Logan making love to him had changed him, had given him a new perspective as Logan wondered if he’d made a mistake that would damage Scott in the future.

“Goodbye Logan,” Scott had finally relented giving in to the fate that was before him. They’d brushed fingers briefly in a sentiment that was far too chaste for Logan’s liking as he said goodbye to the man he’d loved for so very long.

“He’s waiting for you Logan,” Jeanie had whispered moving in to give him a hug before she’d prepared to leave. He could remember the way she’d arched up on her toes whispering in his ear before kissing his cheek, “Don’t give up on him. He needs you just like you need him.”

“Jeanie?” he’d questioned when she turned away to return to the life she had long before Hank had pulled them into their chaos. Their leaving had been hard, but now Logan knew they’d have a second chance. If he hadn’t screwed Scott up beyond comprehension he knew they would be fine. Then again he was certain Chuck would take the events from them when they returned. He was certain Chuck would make all right for the original five while Logan would return to the life he’d made for himself.

“A life without Scott,” a voice inside of his head reminded him as Logan thought about the wedge between them. His heart sank in knowing that there may never be another night like the previous one, yet he had to keep pushing on. Standing up taller he decided it was time to get his priorities in order when he prepared to head into the school again.

“Logan,” he heard a voice call out to him. Turning around he discovered Scott on the front lawn looking as exhausted as Logan had felt after the recent turn of events. He made a few steps to move in closer to Logan before a breath carried over his lips, “look, I know you don’t think I should be here and maybe I don’t have any business setting foot on this property, but I’ve come to realize it’s long past time that you and I have a talk with one another. Things can’t go on like they have been.”

“No,” Logan agreed when suddenly Jean’s words began to make sense to him, “they can’t.”

“Do you think that maybe…” Scott paused when he made a stride in closer to Logan, “that maybe we can go inside and find a way to figure all of this out somehow?”

“I’m sure we can arrange that,” Logan replied giving Scott a long once over at it dawned in on him that maybe just maybe all hope wasn’t lost after all. Perhaps they weren’t beyond repair in finding their way to one another.

james howlett, scott/logan, het, cyclops, scottxlogan, scott summers, loganxscott, fanfiction, x-men, slash, scogan, logan, fic, jott, jean grey, wolverine

Previous post Next post
Up