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[scionofgrace]

Jeff and I had an interesting conversation during the college group meeting last Sunday night.  About arguments.  It was something I'd never really thought through, about my family's tradition of arguing, and what purpose it could possibly serve.  Apparently Jeff's become rather alarmed at the whole idea of theological arguing, and the apparent

Comments

[tree_and_leaf]

In my extended family, arguing is an integral part of social interaction. My grandmother's siblings are champion debaters: the ability to hold one's own in an argument goes a long way towards establishing one's place in the family hierarchy. Even though they do it dispassionately (mostly - I can't say there haven't been tense moments), that doesn't make it right.

Heh; that sounds like my family!

Personally, I love theological arguments, for the reasons you mention, but I agree that they're not a good method of evangelism (at least for most people).

[tahmthelame]

One of the best things about college was the opportunity to have arguments and debates with knowledgeable people about a variety of topics. I'm the dumb one of the group, so I never contributed too much, but I loved (and still love) listening to my friends have deep conversations just like the ones you describe. It's a horrible thing to have an opinion but have no idea why you have it, and I think debates help you hone those reasons. I wish we could have more meaningful theological debates with our youth group kids for that very reason.

[kalquessa]

It's funny, because I had the same experience you describe of discovering adults arguing passionately (but with reasonable civility) when I joined Mr. Bill's family. They do this, and it blew my mind, because in my family we definitely bicker and snipe and swap barbs, but it's all about fairly surface-level stuff...anything deep and important, we either a) agree on, or b) Don't Talk About. I think the latter is because we are incapable in my family of arguing dispassionately and of separating ourselves from our opinions.

I should never argue to be proved right. I should argue to become right.If I could get my head into this space, I would engage in arguments much more frequently. Alas, I cannot, at least not yet. Maybe when I'm older. It doesn't help that the few topics on which I feel strongly enough to Really Argue (as opposed to making a few wisecracks and then shrugging if no one agrees with me) are hot buttons for me. If I care enough to argue, it's because I think the issue is hugely serious and important, and I am adamant in

[scionofgrace]

If I care enough to argue, it's because I think the issue is hugely serious and important, and I am adamant in my conviction that I am right. So it's impossible for me not to get worked up and upset when I can't convince my interlocutor of my rightness.

That is the hard part, isn't it? I think most people struggle with that when arguing, being able to tolerate someone who refuses to recognise that they're wrong!

I've got to the point where I need to learn to stay out of arguments, for the reasons I gave in my post.