iLove Nevel
iLove Nevel
1.1 Megan fakes Carly
Nevel Papperman had been silent for over a year, but now he deemed time right for getting back at Carly, Samantha, and Fredward. They had humiliated him thrice and needed to pay dearly for that. His plot was diabolic. He wanted to spread false issues of iCarly's webcast, in a way that would ridicule the whole show. For this purpose, he had been looking for a doppelganger of Carly, a girl looking much like her, enough to fool the audience. Crawling the WWW, Nevel found a few girls in the suitable range, but one of them caught his attention more than all the others:
Megan Parker, 15 years, living in San Diego. She has two elder brothers called the boobs. She plays soccer and the oboe.
Nevel deemed her perfect for his malicious plans.
"Megan Parker ... hello?"
"Good evening. My name is Nevel Papperman, from nevelocity.com"
"Nerd Nevel? Wow, how do I deserve that honour?"
"I'm going to pull a prank on a few old acquaintances, one of them looking almost exactly like you."
"A prank? I love playing pranks. But you need to help me pulling a prank on my brothers, in turn."
"OK. It's nice to make a deal with you!"
Megan was now all curious, wondering what her task would be like.
"You play the oboe, right?"
"I do, since five years. Do you want to listen to ..."
"Later! The facts are: Carly, Fredward, and Samantha have a teacher named Francine Briggs. They hate her. What they dislike most is ... Mrs. Briggs plays the bagpipes."
"OK, both oboes and bagpipes are woodwinds, they are even historically related, but where's the point?"
"Mrs. Briggs once played bagpipes in their web casts. She had obviously been blackmailing the kids. The show lost more than half of its audience until Fredward Benson struck back, using a green screen, which is a sort of virtual background animation."
"And what do I have to do with all of this?"
"OK! You look like Carly. If you play some Scottish Highland melodies on your oboe, and we make the audience think that Carly played them ..."
"Hey, that could be a lot of fun!"
A few minutes later ...
"Action!" Nevel commanded while he activated the remote webcam.
Megan performed When the Camerons come with her oboe.
"More, please! And louder! And a few false notes strewn inbetween wouldn't be bad!"
Megan did as she had been told.
"Carly will rue the day! Until dystopia!" he muttered under his breath.
Megan wondered why Nevel used those words, but she gave her best, even if this meant playing false notes on purpose. She wasn't proud of doing so, as she was a virtuous solo oboe artist, one of the best in California. But she still thought it to be funny.
Nevel polished the shot scenes before infiltrating the web with those
1.2 Rumours at School
It started out as what seemed to be a normal day at Ridgeway High-School for Fredward, Samantha, and Carly.
Sam launched her usual bickering attacks against Freddie and Gibby.
Carly wasn't exactly pleased when this happened, but she was accustomed to those accidents.
Arthur Gradstein launched paper planes into the face of Mr. Stern.
Lovebirds Jonah and Valerie cuddled and smooched in the rear of the room.
Carly delivered a perfect presentation of the Second Jacobite Rising, making Mrs. Briggs proud enough to award her with a straight A.
But during the great break, snobby Tasha approached Carly. "With your lousy taste for music, you don't have to wonder when you lose your audience!"
Carly wondered what Tasha had been talking about.
Freddie stumbled upon Jake Randall.
"Hi Freddie, since when did Carly switch sides? She seems to be in a boat with Mrs. Briggs. I haven't seen that coming!"
"Carly? A traitor? Not in your dreams, Adonis!" Freddie looked derogatorily at Jake.
"Oh, you don't believe me? Then read the latest comments at iCarly.com!"
Sam crashed into Jeremy.
"Wow, don't you think that Carly has sunk pretty low?" he stated in disgust before sneezing into Sam's huckleberry smoothie.
"What? Carly is the best!"
"So you really support Highland dance music? I'm really disappointed!" Jeremy discharged his nose on Sam's freshly dressed hair.
Gibby screamed in delight. "Come to iCarly.com! Carly is playing Highland dances! I love it."
Even Mrs. Briggs heard the rumours about Carly having changed her taste. "Miss Shay, I'm downright pleased by your change of taste. It's a pleasure to see that some of you teenagers still care about the fine arts. This warrants some consequences." Mrs. Briggs took Carly's latest popup quiz and changed the mark from a C to an A.
"Hey , look, " Wesley roared, "Carly's flattering Mrs. Briggs. She's a worse freak than Karen Yamakawa!"
The whole classes shouted "Freak! Freak! Freak!" whenever Carly happened to pass by.
1.3 Who messed with iCarly?
After school, Carly stormed into her apartment, rushing to her laptop. She opened her guestbook, filled with remarks by disappointed regular viewers complaining about Carly's oboe solo and Highland dances.
Spencer didn't know what had happened. he would have noticed if Carly had actually practised with a woodwind. It wasn't Carly's taste at all.
Finally, Sam arrived, interrogating Carly. "Where is Freddie?"
"He's grounded. He forgot to use his anti-flea shampoo."
"Freddie is grounded? Aw, cool!"
"Do you have to kick him when he's down?"
"So what are all the rumours about? Oboe? Highland music?"
"I don't know, and I fear that only Freddie would discover the reason."
"Wow, that dork may be really useful. Sometimes."
An hour later, Freddie showed up, limping severely.
Samantha was dismayed. "Aren't you grounded?"
"Yes, I am, but I achieved sneaking out. Granted, I had to jump out of the window, and ..."
"Aw, cool!"
Carly sprayed the bickering frenemies with water, separating them.
Freddie looked into the problem, but there was no obvious solution.
Spencer tried to be smart. "Why don't you just ask some of the visitors how they knew about Carly's oboe solo?"
"But ... I've never played any oboe."
"I know it, you know it, Freddie and Sam know it, but we have to convince our regular viewers, not ourselves."
Sam deemed this point of view interesting.
Carly decided to give it a chance. They would ask Tasha, Gibby, Jake, Jonah, Valerie, and so on. It would be quite some gauntlet, but they had no idea better than that.
2 Megan and Nevel
2.1 The Search is On
The next morning, our friends tried to ask their fellow pupils about the reason for the absurd remarks they had found in Carly's guest book.
Most of the pupils blatantly refused to give any answer. They didn't want to be linked in any way to some freak like Carly.
As painful as it was, they had to ask one of the few students that liked Carly's performance, although it had not been Carly's.
One of these faithful fans was Gibby.
It hurt Sam's guts to ask him, but she did. "Hi Gibby, do you want to tell us how you first heard about Carly's oboe solo?"
"From your newsletter, of course!"
"Our newletter?"
"Of course, and you know it!"
Of course Sam did not know, as it was a fake, but she knew that iCarly.com maintained a regular newsletter that was sent to all viewers of the site that had registered with their e-mail address. Freddie would know it better, so she made him explain, something which hurt her guts even more.
Freddie looked into it. He regularly updated the newsletters. The e-mail addresses were visible to other visitors, but are protected from spambots. Everyone requesting an other viewer's email address had to verify his humanity by submitting the answer to a riddle represented within an image. "Someone sent e-mails, faking iCarly.com as their sender. Usually, spammers use well-known banks, auctioning sites, insurances etc., in order to trick the clueless addressees into reveiling their personal data. In our case, the spammer was just interested in getting them to visit a site with a fake picture of Carly playing the oboe."
Carly seemed to understand, Sam just deemed it sick. "Grow up, you dork!" she scoffed at Freddie who snarled back.
"Whoever did the attack, he was busy enough to go through the image test every time. "
"In other words, it was someone who had powerful personal reasons? Not an arbitrary spaz?"
Freddie nodded.
"Can't you check the IP address of whoever went through all the image tests?"
"The pretender is hiding behind some firewall. We may set up a trap for him, though."
"Yeah, please, do so!" Carly and Sam cheered unison.
2.2 Megan gets through to Nevel
The same day, Nevel and Megan had started an IM chat session.
Nevel announced proudly that iCarly.com was about leaking guts.
This made Megan somewhat suspicious of Nevel's motivations. "Hi Nevel, I have to ask you something as a friend, not because of some deal."
"Friend? What is that? Such a word doesn't exist in my vocabulary."
Megan was dismayed. Nevel probably never had any friends. He was a misunderstood genius. She really liked him, and she would not want him to devour himself in insensate hatred. "OK, Nevel, when I pull a prank on my brothers, it is not just for entertainment, but for correcting them. I may annoy them, but I would not want to destroy them. What I fear .., you really just hate Carly , Fredward, and Samantha."
"I think you've just figured it."
"Nevel, I know that you are among the greatest masterminds this country has ever seen, such as Ulysses Grant or Ike Eisenhower or Greenspan. And, by all means, I wish you to live up to these standards."
"Oh really? Nobody ever cared about me, they just call me abnormal or a spaz. My mother has been ashamed of me being different since I was an infant."
"You're not abnormal, you're just very special. That's why I like you so much and don't want you to get hurt, especially not by your own exaggerated feelings."
"Aren't feelings just chemical reactions?"
"We should discuss this later on. For the moment, I'd like to know what brought you to hate Carly and her friends in the first place."
"It's a long story, but I've made a video of my first encounter with Carly. If you accept the binary upload ..."
Megan studied carefully the animated picture sequence, portraying Carly's and Nevel's meeting before Nevel's devastating critics against iCarly. "I see you liked her show ..."
"Oh, I did? I must have forgotten about it."
"She must have hurt your feelings, very badly at that."
"She did!"
"Poor Nevel! Oh, you were able to smell the brand of her shampoo. I guess you're very sensitive"
"I am, and that's not only my nose. Certain sorts of noise I can't stand. Some colours hurt me."
"That's interesting. You showed Carly a tomography of your brain. So why does there exist such a tomography? Did any pervert think you to be brain-damaged?"
"Sigh. The docs thought I was, but the picture doesn't show any anomality in the hippocamp or frontal cortex."
"You really seem at unease when Carly is close to you. You don't look into her eyes."
"Oh, I don't?"
"Yeah. I really like it when you talk about flowers being toilets for bugs. You're a consequent thinker, hardly distracted by sentimentalities."
"Thanks!"
"I guess you hate senseless smalltalk."
"Yes, I do."
"OK, Let's get to the point where you kissed Carly. She was upset, but I'm sure you did not want to hurt her feelings."
"Carly had any feelings?"
"Everyone does. But most people think others to be able to see how they feel. Carly made this flawed assumption, and thus she was upset afterwards and behaved impossibly, hurting you badly."
"That's what she did!" Tears ran down Nevel's face, both due to the memory of being humiliated by Carly and because of seeing how much Megan cared about him, no one else would ever have done so voluntarily.
Megan concluded: "Given that you have never been deliberately mean to Carly or her friends, and that you should better concentrate on bigger things like solving the next national crisis ..."
"You think I should make a strategical offer of peace unto Craly, Fredward, and Samantha?"
"Yes, a sort of a pawn sacrifice. You declare that you hadn't meant to hurt Carly in the first place, and we'll help them to get their quota up again."
"Aw cool, then they will see what a genius I am, as everybody else will. Megan, I love you!"
"I love you too."
3 Boob and Boob
3.1 Megan's Negotiation
Freddie was thinking about a trap for the phisher, when an importan message arrived at iCarly.com.
"It's Nevel Papperman, an urgent chat request," Sam screamed in dismy.
Carly replied: "I should have known that he's behind everything. OK, what does he have to say?"
Freddie and Sam agreed - as they just do once in a while - on not listening to Nevel, but Carly decided to give it a try.
"OK Nevel, what do you want?"
"Accept the request by Megan Parker who will tell you more!"
Carly shrugged, but she accepted and started a video chat session with Megan Parker.
"Hey, she looks like Carly!" Freddie squealed.
"Yes, she does, you dork!" Sam replied.
Carly was astonished as well, but she preferred Sam and Freddie to remain silent.
"Hello, my name is Megan Parker. Yes, I am the girl playing the oboe on the fake pictures. But Nevel is sorry."
Carly pondered for a moment.
"You're sorry? And that's it? Bleh!" Sam squealed.
Carly dared her to shut up. "OK, Megan, what makes you think that we may simply accept your excuses?"
"You don't have to. Nevel just wrote an excuse for his deeds which will be posted to nevelocity.com."
"That's at least something."
"You also have to understand Nevel a bit. He's an autistic savant. I've figured this pretty fast."
Sam wondered: "Savant? Is that something to eat? How does it taste?"
Freddie laughed about Sam's ignorance.
Carly pondered the situation. "Whatever, what do you want to tell me?"
"His brain works in a way different form yours. It is not damaged as you think, just different. He's a genius, the most consequent logical thinker you've ever seen. This allowed him to build up Nevelocity in no time, at his early age. But he does not recognise other people's feelings in a way you do."
"And so?"
"Keep this in mind. He never tried to hurt your feelings when kissing your cheek."
Freddie was still upset about that moment, but Sam thought that Freddie was no better. He always tried to trick Carly into kissing him, although the latter had never wanted to.
Carly remembered some movie named Rainman. So maybe, after all, Nevel was not such a bad guy, you just had to be really careful with him. "OK, Megan, so this excuses Nevel, maybe, a little bit ... how do you think you may restore our quota?"
"Well, I have a brother, Drake, who is a rock guitarist, and a step-brother, Josh, who performs some magic tricks. I call them the boobs, because they are really worthless, but those watching your show might see that in a different way. Accept the upload, and if you like them, you may present those videos in your show!"
"We'll consider this. Thanks for the suggestion! We'll see us."
The chat session was over, and our friends wondered what to do.
Carly decided to watch the videos.
Sam and Freddie moaned a bit, but they agreed, anyways.
"Wow, that Drake guys rocks! This is the best guitarist I've ever seen," Carly explained.
"Sam agreed."
"He's just a jerk, like Sam!" Freddie exclaimed, staring into Sam's face.
Sam returned Freddie's gesture in kind.
Carly displayed Josh's performance which brought Freddie to laugh, more than anything he had seen before.
"He's just a dork, like Freddie," Sam scoffed rudely into Freddie's direction.
"OK, we'll present both of them," Carly decided, while Freddie and Sam displayed mixed feelings.
3.2 Recovering
The next show was OK , and our friends looked up the comments made by visitors.
"One of the best rock guitarists, nation-wide!"
"Only the great Henry Dohenyi could top this Josh guy!"
Thousands of appreciative comments filled the blog.
Carly decided to dial Megan's number. "Hi Megs, this is Carly Shay from Seattle, thanks again for your help, and I have a little question: ... May you get your boobs to perform in our webcast ... a live performance?"
"Uhmmm ... I'll try to, but I can't tell you when."
"That's OK, anytime this year would just be great!"
3.3 The Boobs live on iCarly
The door bell rang, causing Spencer to leave his sculpture unfisnished in order to open the door.
"Drake Parker"
"Josh Nichols"
"Ah OK, so you're Carly's live guests ... come in!" Spencer offered them a cranberry smoothie.
"Oh, do you want to see my sculptures?"
"Sorry, we're just here for the webcast." Josh made some remarks about the coolness of the sculptures, but Drake shut him up.
"Carly and her friends are already waiting up there ... elevator or staircase?"
Josh chose the elevator, Drake chose the staircase.
"Wow, she really looks like Megan," Josh whispered to Drake who shut him up.
"Wow, Drake is cool!" Sam promounced.
"He's just a jerk, like you!" Freddie answered with a snarling voice.
Sam replied: "And your Josh is a dork, just like you."
Carly needed to spray her friends. "OK, I'm Carly, these are my friends: Freddie and Sam."
"I'm Drake Parker. Megan has written a song for me to perform. It is called 'Leave it all to me!' ... and I want Carly to sing it with me. Please!"
Carly was happy, making Freddie a bit jealous. "OK, Drake!"
They just needed to practice for five minutes.
Then Freddie launched the webcast.
"So leave it up to me! Leave it up to me! Leave it all to me!" Carly sang at the top of her lungs, accompanied by Drake's guitar solo. The performance was fantastic.
Freddie noticed all the happy comments.
After that, Josh performed his illusionary tricks. He even sawed Sam into half, applauded by Freddie.
Drake and Josh wondered how a girl looking like Megan could be so nice.
But Drake had to say something more. "Carly, did you already think about becoming a rock- or popstar? You really have the power it takes ..."
Carly was astonished. "Me? Really?"
3.4 Conclusion
After the webcast, Carly called Megan again.
"Thanks, Megs! The boobs, or whatever you call them, really saved the show. Now be happy ever after with Nevel!"
"OK, as much as I love Nevel, our relationship is merely intellectual, unlike that of Freddie and Sam."
"Freddie and Sam? You must be joking!"
"Aw, come on, it's too obvious."
Freddie and Sam laughed because Megan's words were the most absurd ones they ever had come to hear. Disgusted, they stared at each other.
At school, our three friends were celebrated like nothing. It was the best show ever.
Carly's quota skyrocketed.
In Drake Parker, Jake had found his master to look up to.
Even Mrs. Briggs awarded them because she enjoyed Josh's tricks as much as she abhorred Drake's music.
The webcast would boost Drake's and Josh's popularity far beyond the limits of California.
Carly would become a great popstar, assisted by Drake Parker's backing guitars.
Megan had not been joking: Five years later, Freddie and Sam would get married, with Megan Parker performing the wedding march with her oboe.
Spencer would serve Drake's band as a drummer.
Megan would market Nevel's genius skills, making him the new supermind of the American economy.
The End
- Title: iLoveNevel
- Author: Klaus Schilling
- Disclaimer: I don't own iCarly or Drake & Josh
- Disclaimer: I don't own 'Leave it All to Me!' by Drake Bell and Miranda Cosgrove
- Genre: Romance, Friendship
- Rating: Teenagers
- Fandom: iCarly, Drake & Josh
- People: Sam, Freddie, Carly, Nevel,Drake, Megan, Josh, ...
- Pairings: Nevel/Megan
- Summary: Nevel uses Megan's similarity in order to get back at Carly.
1.1 Megan fakes Carly
Nevel Papperman had been silent for over a year, but now he deemed time right for getting back at Carly, Samantha, and Fredward. They had humiliated him thrice and needed to pay dearly for that. His plot was diabolic. He wanted to spread false issues of iCarly's webcast, in a way that would ridicule the whole show. For this purpose, he had been looking for a doppelganger of Carly, a girl looking much like her, enough to fool the audience. Crawling the WWW, Nevel found a few girls in the suitable range, but one of them caught his attention more than all the others:
Megan Parker, 15 years, living in San Diego. She has two elder brothers called the boobs. She plays soccer and the oboe.
Nevel deemed her perfect for his malicious plans.
"Megan Parker ... hello?"
"Good evening. My name is Nevel Papperman, from nevelocity.com"
"Nerd Nevel? Wow, how do I deserve that honour?"
"I'm going to pull a prank on a few old acquaintances, one of them looking almost exactly like you."
"A prank? I love playing pranks. But you need to help me pulling a prank on my brothers, in turn."
"OK. It's nice to make a deal with you!"
Megan was now all curious, wondering what her task would be like.
"You play the oboe, right?"
"I do, since five years. Do you want to listen to ..."
"Later! The facts are: Carly, Fredward, and Samantha have a teacher named Francine Briggs. They hate her. What they dislike most is ... Mrs. Briggs plays the bagpipes."
"OK, both oboes and bagpipes are woodwinds, they are even historically related, but where's the point?"
"Mrs. Briggs once played bagpipes in their web casts. She had obviously been blackmailing the kids. The show lost more than half of its audience until Fredward Benson struck back, using a green screen, which is a sort of virtual background animation."
"And what do I have to do with all of this?"
"OK! You look like Carly. If you play some Scottish Highland melodies on your oboe, and we make the audience think that Carly played them ..."
"Hey, that could be a lot of fun!"
A few minutes later ...
"Action!" Nevel commanded while he activated the remote webcam.
Megan performed When the Camerons come with her oboe.
"More, please! And louder! And a few false notes strewn inbetween wouldn't be bad!"
Megan did as she had been told.
"Carly will rue the day! Until dystopia!" he muttered under his breath.
Megan wondered why Nevel used those words, but she gave her best, even if this meant playing false notes on purpose. She wasn't proud of doing so, as she was a virtuous solo oboe artist, one of the best in California. But she still thought it to be funny.
Nevel polished the shot scenes before infiltrating the web with those
1.2 Rumours at School
It started out as what seemed to be a normal day at Ridgeway High-School for Fredward, Samantha, and Carly.
Sam launched her usual bickering attacks against Freddie and Gibby.
Carly wasn't exactly pleased when this happened, but she was accustomed to those accidents.
Arthur Gradstein launched paper planes into the face of Mr. Stern.
Lovebirds Jonah and Valerie cuddled and smooched in the rear of the room.
Carly delivered a perfect presentation of the Second Jacobite Rising, making Mrs. Briggs proud enough to award her with a straight A.
But during the great break, snobby Tasha approached Carly. "With your lousy taste for music, you don't have to wonder when you lose your audience!"
Carly wondered what Tasha had been talking about.
Freddie stumbled upon Jake Randall.
"Hi Freddie, since when did Carly switch sides? She seems to be in a boat with Mrs. Briggs. I haven't seen that coming!"
"Carly? A traitor? Not in your dreams, Adonis!" Freddie looked derogatorily at Jake.
"Oh, you don't believe me? Then read the latest comments at iCarly.com!"
Sam crashed into Jeremy.
"Wow, don't you think that Carly has sunk pretty low?" he stated in disgust before sneezing into Sam's huckleberry smoothie.
"What? Carly is the best!"
"So you really support Highland dance music? I'm really disappointed!" Jeremy discharged his nose on Sam's freshly dressed hair.
Gibby screamed in delight. "Come to iCarly.com! Carly is playing Highland dances! I love it."
Even Mrs. Briggs heard the rumours about Carly having changed her taste. "Miss Shay, I'm downright pleased by your change of taste. It's a pleasure to see that some of you teenagers still care about the fine arts. This warrants some consequences." Mrs. Briggs took Carly's latest popup quiz and changed the mark from a C to an A.
"Hey , look, " Wesley roared, "Carly's flattering Mrs. Briggs. She's a worse freak than Karen Yamakawa!"
The whole classes shouted "Freak! Freak! Freak!" whenever Carly happened to pass by.
1.3 Who messed with iCarly?
After school, Carly stormed into her apartment, rushing to her laptop. She opened her guestbook, filled with remarks by disappointed regular viewers complaining about Carly's oboe solo and Highland dances.
Spencer didn't know what had happened. he would have noticed if Carly had actually practised with a woodwind. It wasn't Carly's taste at all.
Finally, Sam arrived, interrogating Carly. "Where is Freddie?"
"He's grounded. He forgot to use his anti-flea shampoo."
"Freddie is grounded? Aw, cool!"
"Do you have to kick him when he's down?"
"So what are all the rumours about? Oboe? Highland music?"
"I don't know, and I fear that only Freddie would discover the reason."
"Wow, that dork may be really useful. Sometimes."
An hour later, Freddie showed up, limping severely.
Samantha was dismayed. "Aren't you grounded?"
"Yes, I am, but I achieved sneaking out. Granted, I had to jump out of the window, and ..."
"Aw, cool!"
Carly sprayed the bickering frenemies with water, separating them.
Freddie looked into the problem, but there was no obvious solution.
Spencer tried to be smart. "Why don't you just ask some of the visitors how they knew about Carly's oboe solo?"
"But ... I've never played any oboe."
"I know it, you know it, Freddie and Sam know it, but we have to convince our regular viewers, not ourselves."
Sam deemed this point of view interesting.
Carly decided to give it a chance. They would ask Tasha, Gibby, Jake, Jonah, Valerie, and so on. It would be quite some gauntlet, but they had no idea better than that.
2 Megan and Nevel
2.1 The Search is On
The next morning, our friends tried to ask their fellow pupils about the reason for the absurd remarks they had found in Carly's guest book.
Most of the pupils blatantly refused to give any answer. They didn't want to be linked in any way to some freak like Carly.
As painful as it was, they had to ask one of the few students that liked Carly's performance, although it had not been Carly's.
One of these faithful fans was Gibby.
It hurt Sam's guts to ask him, but she did. "Hi Gibby, do you want to tell us how you first heard about Carly's oboe solo?"
"From your newsletter, of course!"
"Our newletter?"
"Of course, and you know it!"
Of course Sam did not know, as it was a fake, but she knew that iCarly.com maintained a regular newsletter that was sent to all viewers of the site that had registered with their e-mail address. Freddie would know it better, so she made him explain, something which hurt her guts even more.
Freddie looked into it. He regularly updated the newsletters. The e-mail addresses were visible to other visitors, but are protected from spambots. Everyone requesting an other viewer's email address had to verify his humanity by submitting the answer to a riddle represented within an image. "Someone sent e-mails, faking iCarly.com as their sender. Usually, spammers use well-known banks, auctioning sites, insurances etc., in order to trick the clueless addressees into reveiling their personal data. In our case, the spammer was just interested in getting them to visit a site with a fake picture of Carly playing the oboe."
Carly seemed to understand, Sam just deemed it sick. "Grow up, you dork!" she scoffed at Freddie who snarled back.
"Whoever did the attack, he was busy enough to go through the image test every time. "
"In other words, it was someone who had powerful personal reasons? Not an arbitrary spaz?"
Freddie nodded.
"Can't you check the IP address of whoever went through all the image tests?"
"The pretender is hiding behind some firewall. We may set up a trap for him, though."
"Yeah, please, do so!" Carly and Sam cheered unison.
2.2 Megan gets through to Nevel
The same day, Nevel and Megan had started an IM chat session.
Nevel announced proudly that iCarly.com was about leaking guts.
This made Megan somewhat suspicious of Nevel's motivations. "Hi Nevel, I have to ask you something as a friend, not because of some deal."
"Friend? What is that? Such a word doesn't exist in my vocabulary."
Megan was dismayed. Nevel probably never had any friends. He was a misunderstood genius. She really liked him, and she would not want him to devour himself in insensate hatred. "OK, Nevel, when I pull a prank on my brothers, it is not just for entertainment, but for correcting them. I may annoy them, but I would not want to destroy them. What I fear .., you really just hate Carly , Fredward, and Samantha."
"I think you've just figured it."
"Nevel, I know that you are among the greatest masterminds this country has ever seen, such as Ulysses Grant or Ike Eisenhower or Greenspan. And, by all means, I wish you to live up to these standards."
"Oh really? Nobody ever cared about me, they just call me abnormal or a spaz. My mother has been ashamed of me being different since I was an infant."
"You're not abnormal, you're just very special. That's why I like you so much and don't want you to get hurt, especially not by your own exaggerated feelings."
"Aren't feelings just chemical reactions?"
"We should discuss this later on. For the moment, I'd like to know what brought you to hate Carly and her friends in the first place."
"It's a long story, but I've made a video of my first encounter with Carly. If you accept the binary upload ..."
Megan studied carefully the animated picture sequence, portraying Carly's and Nevel's meeting before Nevel's devastating critics against iCarly. "I see you liked her show ..."
"Oh, I did? I must have forgotten about it."
"She must have hurt your feelings, very badly at that."
"She did!"
"Poor Nevel! Oh, you were able to smell the brand of her shampoo. I guess you're very sensitive"
"I am, and that's not only my nose. Certain sorts of noise I can't stand. Some colours hurt me."
"That's interesting. You showed Carly a tomography of your brain. So why does there exist such a tomography? Did any pervert think you to be brain-damaged?"
"Sigh. The docs thought I was, but the picture doesn't show any anomality in the hippocamp or frontal cortex."
"You really seem at unease when Carly is close to you. You don't look into her eyes."
"Oh, I don't?"
"Yeah. I really like it when you talk about flowers being toilets for bugs. You're a consequent thinker, hardly distracted by sentimentalities."
"Thanks!"
"I guess you hate senseless smalltalk."
"Yes, I do."
"OK, Let's get to the point where you kissed Carly. She was upset, but I'm sure you did not want to hurt her feelings."
"Carly had any feelings?"
"Everyone does. But most people think others to be able to see how they feel. Carly made this flawed assumption, and thus she was upset afterwards and behaved impossibly, hurting you badly."
"That's what she did!" Tears ran down Nevel's face, both due to the memory of being humiliated by Carly and because of seeing how much Megan cared about him, no one else would ever have done so voluntarily.
Megan concluded: "Given that you have never been deliberately mean to Carly or her friends, and that you should better concentrate on bigger things like solving the next national crisis ..."
"You think I should make a strategical offer of peace unto Craly, Fredward, and Samantha?"
"Yes, a sort of a pawn sacrifice. You declare that you hadn't meant to hurt Carly in the first place, and we'll help them to get their quota up again."
"Aw cool, then they will see what a genius I am, as everybody else will. Megan, I love you!"
"I love you too."
3 Boob and Boob
3.1 Megan's Negotiation
Freddie was thinking about a trap for the phisher, when an importan message arrived at iCarly.com.
"It's Nevel Papperman, an urgent chat request," Sam screamed in dismy.
Carly replied: "I should have known that he's behind everything. OK, what does he have to say?"
Freddie and Sam agreed - as they just do once in a while - on not listening to Nevel, but Carly decided to give it a try.
"OK Nevel, what do you want?"
"Accept the request by Megan Parker who will tell you more!"
Carly shrugged, but she accepted and started a video chat session with Megan Parker.
"Hey, she looks like Carly!" Freddie squealed.
"Yes, she does, you dork!" Sam replied.
Carly was astonished as well, but she preferred Sam and Freddie to remain silent.
"Hello, my name is Megan Parker. Yes, I am the girl playing the oboe on the fake pictures. But Nevel is sorry."
Carly pondered for a moment.
"You're sorry? And that's it? Bleh!" Sam squealed.
Carly dared her to shut up. "OK, Megan, what makes you think that we may simply accept your excuses?"
"You don't have to. Nevel just wrote an excuse for his deeds which will be posted to nevelocity.com."
"That's at least something."
"You also have to understand Nevel a bit. He's an autistic savant. I've figured this pretty fast."
Sam wondered: "Savant? Is that something to eat? How does it taste?"
Freddie laughed about Sam's ignorance.
Carly pondered the situation. "Whatever, what do you want to tell me?"
"His brain works in a way different form yours. It is not damaged as you think, just different. He's a genius, the most consequent logical thinker you've ever seen. This allowed him to build up Nevelocity in no time, at his early age. But he does not recognise other people's feelings in a way you do."
"And so?"
"Keep this in mind. He never tried to hurt your feelings when kissing your cheek."
Freddie was still upset about that moment, but Sam thought that Freddie was no better. He always tried to trick Carly into kissing him, although the latter had never wanted to.
Carly remembered some movie named Rainman. So maybe, after all, Nevel was not such a bad guy, you just had to be really careful with him. "OK, Megan, so this excuses Nevel, maybe, a little bit ... how do you think you may restore our quota?"
"Well, I have a brother, Drake, who is a rock guitarist, and a step-brother, Josh, who performs some magic tricks. I call them the boobs, because they are really worthless, but those watching your show might see that in a different way. Accept the upload, and if you like them, you may present those videos in your show!"
"We'll consider this. Thanks for the suggestion! We'll see us."
The chat session was over, and our friends wondered what to do.
Carly decided to watch the videos.
Sam and Freddie moaned a bit, but they agreed, anyways.
"Wow, that Drake guys rocks! This is the best guitarist I've ever seen," Carly explained.
"Sam agreed."
"He's just a jerk, like Sam!" Freddie exclaimed, staring into Sam's face.
Sam returned Freddie's gesture in kind.
Carly displayed Josh's performance which brought Freddie to laugh, more than anything he had seen before.
"He's just a dork, like Freddie," Sam scoffed rudely into Freddie's direction.
"OK, we'll present both of them," Carly decided, while Freddie and Sam displayed mixed feelings.
3.2 Recovering
The next show was OK , and our friends looked up the comments made by visitors.
"One of the best rock guitarists, nation-wide!"
"Only the great Henry Dohenyi could top this Josh guy!"
Thousands of appreciative comments filled the blog.
Carly decided to dial Megan's number. "Hi Megs, this is Carly Shay from Seattle, thanks again for your help, and I have a little question: ... May you get your boobs to perform in our webcast ... a live performance?"
"Uhmmm ... I'll try to, but I can't tell you when."
"That's OK, anytime this year would just be great!"
3.3 The Boobs live on iCarly
The door bell rang, causing Spencer to leave his sculpture unfisnished in order to open the door.
"Drake Parker"
"Josh Nichols"
"Ah OK, so you're Carly's live guests ... come in!" Spencer offered them a cranberry smoothie.
"Oh, do you want to see my sculptures?"
"Sorry, we're just here for the webcast." Josh made some remarks about the coolness of the sculptures, but Drake shut him up.
"Carly and her friends are already waiting up there ... elevator or staircase?"
Josh chose the elevator, Drake chose the staircase.
"Wow, she really looks like Megan," Josh whispered to Drake who shut him up.
"Wow, Drake is cool!" Sam promounced.
"He's just a jerk, like you!" Freddie answered with a snarling voice.
Sam replied: "And your Josh is a dork, just like you."
Carly needed to spray her friends. "OK, I'm Carly, these are my friends: Freddie and Sam."
"I'm Drake Parker. Megan has written a song for me to perform. It is called 'Leave it all to me!' ... and I want Carly to sing it with me. Please!"
Carly was happy, making Freddie a bit jealous. "OK, Drake!"
They just needed to practice for five minutes.
Then Freddie launched the webcast.
"So leave it up to me! Leave it up to me! Leave it all to me!" Carly sang at the top of her lungs, accompanied by Drake's guitar solo. The performance was fantastic.
Freddie noticed all the happy comments.
After that, Josh performed his illusionary tricks. He even sawed Sam into half, applauded by Freddie.
Drake and Josh wondered how a girl looking like Megan could be so nice.
But Drake had to say something more. "Carly, did you already think about becoming a rock- or popstar? You really have the power it takes ..."
Carly was astonished. "Me? Really?"
3.4 Conclusion
After the webcast, Carly called Megan again.
"Thanks, Megs! The boobs, or whatever you call them, really saved the show. Now be happy ever after with Nevel!"
"OK, as much as I love Nevel, our relationship is merely intellectual, unlike that of Freddie and Sam."
"Freddie and Sam? You must be joking!"
"Aw, come on, it's too obvious."
Freddie and Sam laughed because Megan's words were the most absurd ones they ever had come to hear. Disgusted, they stared at each other.
At school, our three friends were celebrated like nothing. It was the best show ever.
Carly's quota skyrocketed.
In Drake Parker, Jake had found his master to look up to.
Even Mrs. Briggs awarded them because she enjoyed Josh's tricks as much as she abhorred Drake's music.
The webcast would boost Drake's and Josh's popularity far beyond the limits of California.
Carly would become a great popstar, assisted by Drake Parker's backing guitars.
Megan had not been joking: Five years later, Freddie and Sam would get married, with Megan Parker performing the wedding march with her oboe.
Spencer would serve Drake's band as a drummer.
Megan would market Nevel's genius skills, making him the new supermind of the American economy.
The End