Drake and Lisa
Drake and Lisa
1.1 Californian Singstar
Audrey and Walter were sitting in front of the TV set, watching Californian Singstar. This year, it was particularly interesting. Randy Jackson, the chief of the jury board, had a hard time, and the task wasn't easy for the viewers, either.
"Our next contestantis Lisa Perkins from LA!" Randy Jackson announced.
Walter Nichols froze in his chair. Perkins ... Walter once had an affair with a woman that became a Mrs. Perkins, later on. His first wife never knew of it. His first marriage had been going down the drain, no matter what. Josh had been a little toddler when it happened. Given all these information, Lisa might well have been Walter's illegitimate daughter.
"What's the matter, Walts?" Audrey asked her husband.
"Er ... nothing," Walter replied absent-mindedly. He wasn't very convincing.
Walter had known that his mistress had been pregnant, but never heard again from the kid, be it a boy or a girl. He hadn't been requested to pay for his or her life costs, either. Walter just couldn't bear this suspense. He had to leave for the toilets, but on his way, he doubled over and puked.
"Walter!" Audrey cried, but she couldn't get a reasonable word from her husband.
1.2 Walter's Secret
Josh had been moving out for college, returning about every fortnight. Drake still lived at home, as he just had some occasional jobs. He spent many nights with his band, though. Megan was a freshman at Belleview Highschool. That weekend, she had a sleepover at Janie's, her best friend since middle school.
"Mom, dad!" Megan yelled when she returned from the sleepover.
"Hi Megs, I believe that there's something wrong with dad. He doesn't speak anymore, since last night when we watched Californian Singstar with Randy Jackson," Audrey replied.
Megan just shrugged when she noticed stammering Walter.
Drake was equally helpless when he returned from a night with his band. He was about watching the replay of Californian Singstar.
"Hi boob!" Megan greeted Drake who didn't like it being called like that.
"Hi Megs! Did you watch that episode?" Drake asked his sister.
"No, I'm not into that sort of music, you know," Megan answered honestly.
" I know. But you might watch it for the cute boys in the show," Drake suggested, making Megan laugh.
"Aw boob, do you watch the show for the music or the girls?" Megan replied.
Drake couldn't deny that he was attracted by some of the female contestants, for Megan recognised easily when he lied about a girl. "Well, ... both?"
Megan nodded. "OK, boob!"
"Sometimes I wish you liked poprock. You have a great voice, you could sing for my band ..." Drake mourned sadly.
"See, we can't choose our siblings," Megan countered.
Drake agreed: "Too true! But you're an OK sister. You're the most honest girl that I know of, your diabolic pranks notwithstanding."
"You have your advantages as well. Janie often enough envies me because of you," Megan admitted.
Audrey entered the room, still in despair. "I don't know. Since some Lisa whoever entered the stage, Walter has lost his mind."
"Those girls are all in Drake's age, even a bit younger, Walts isn't pedophile ..." Megan tried to distray some random thought.
"I don't hope that he is," Drake admits, fearing Walter's competition.
Megan sensed Drake's reasons. "OK, boob, keep good care of yourself," Megan said before wandering off to her room.
Drake waved at her. He enjoyed having had a good conversation with Megan, which happened once in a blue moon.
1.3 The letter
A week later, Walter went through his snail mail. And there it was: A letter from his former secret girlfriend, Mrs. Perkins. Walter opened it, alas, he didn't have the guts to read it. He left it on the table.
Audrey stumbled upon the open letter by some Mrs. Perkins.
"Dear Walter, I'm sorry that I haven't written to you in so many years. In particular, I've never told you that we have a common daughter, Lisa. She's now ready to move out to college. You may have seen her on TV, she's participating in the show Californian Singstar. I haven't asked you yet to do anything for Lisa, but now it's time for you to support her. She's going to music school in San Diego, and I ask you to accept her in your household. I know that you have a fairly large house with enough room. Your still caring ..."
Audrey felt like hit by a canon ball. Walter had an illegitimate daughter? OK, that was before the time Audrey and Walter went dating. Anyways, it explained why Walter had gone pale during the broadcast of Californian Singstar. Whateve, Walter had to stand up for his deeds, just like a real man.
1.4 Trading rooms
Audrey had agreed on the details with Mrs. Perkins. Lisa and Megan would live in the room that used to belong to Drake and Josh. Drake would move into Megan's room. Josh, who wasn't around often, would sleep in a hammock in Drake's new room, i.e. formerly Megan's room.
"Tidy up and don't leave anything behind!" Megan commanded Drake, "anything you leave in here will be used against you, boob!"
"It isn't my fault," Drake complained.
"I know, boob," Megan sighed, "I'll do the same in my room before leaving. If I can't stand Lisa, may I move back into my old room and sleep under your bed?"
Drake ruffled Megan's hair. "Of course, Megs, if you don't mind the spiders, and rats, and ..."
Megan laughed.
1.5 Josh is upset
Josh was very upset and disappointed. "So I'm about twenty years old, and now I get to know that I have a sister that is just a year younger. I don't get it," Josh yelled at his father.
"I didn't know about her until ..." Walter tried to excuse himself, but he wasn't quite successful.
"You didn't know her name, or what she looked like, orwhether it was a boy or a girl, but these are just details. The brute facts you kept from me for so many years. I'm really disappointed!" Josh thundered before he stormed out of the kitchen.
"Arrrrghhhhhh!" Josh screamed when he found himself trapoped in a net, hanging from the ceiling above his old bed. "Aw Megan."
Megan entered the room in order to let Josh gently out of the net. "You boob! That trap was for Lisa," Megan explained.
"Sorry!" Josh squealed.
Drake led Josh to their new room.
"A hammock?" Josh screamed in dismay, "I hate hammocks, they are so ..."
"You may choose to sleep under my bed, with the rats and the spiders," Drake offered, making Megan giggle.
"Rats?" Josh twitched. "Spiders?" Josh twitched again, making Drake laugh.
"Did I mention the cockroaches?" Megan added, giggling.
2 Rockpop Stars
2.1 Lisa's Arrival
Lisa arrived one monday night. Drake was forced to carry her luggage, while Megan showed her around the house. Walter was still a bit dazed, but Audrey insisted that everything was OK.
"So you want to make it into the entertainment business?" Audrey asked her stepdaughter.
"I'd love to, of course. It isn't as easy as it seems," Lisa replied.
Drake was very much aware of that. He had landed a few contracts, but they all didn't keep what they appeared to promise. "I always dreamt about making it straight to the top once being 18. But those people who offer contracts are so ... I don't like to talk about it."
"You're into the poprock scene as well?" Lisa asked Drake, dropping her jaw.
"I have got my own band. We've been in LA, but only as subs," Drake answered.
"Maybe if you name me some of your songs ... my memory for people is much worse than my memory for music," Lisa asked him.
"In LA, we sang Highwhere to Nowhere ," Drake stammered.
"Wow, you're not joking, are you? I love Highway to Nowhere," Lisa exclaimed.
"Oh, really?" Drake smiled.
"Absolutely!" Lisa started to sing Drake's song, her stuffed mouth notwithstanding. Chewed food splattered all over the table. "Oops. I better wait until after dinner."
"That would be wise," Audrey remarked while wiping the table.
2.2 Rockpop Stars in Love
After dinner, they went to Drake's new room, picking his guitar.
Drake stram his instrument, so he and Lisa could perform Highwhere To Nowhere.
"... wind up back at nowhere with you ..." Lisa sang.
"Oh cool, you've got the hang out of it," Drake applauded Lisa.
"Do you think we could work on a song, together alone?" Lisa asked Drake.
Drake gasped. "It should be worth an attempt, I guess."
Drake wrote a few notes and words. Lisa tried to sing it. Step by step, they progressed into writing a little song.
"Not bad at all!" Drake remarked after a first attempt of a performance.
Lisa did not just have a great voice, her gestures and postures were fantastic, as well.
They had a lot of fun when they worked on that song, it took them a few days until the song was complete. They already harmonised better than Drake's band did after years of rehearsal.
"I don't know what to say," Drake admitted when sitting down by Lisa's side. Instead of talking, he close his eyes and brushed Lisa's lips with his own. "Sorry, Lisa , I ..."
"Hey, you didn't kill me," Lisa remarked playfully, touching Drake's chin with her tender fingers, tickling him slightly.
"Do you already have a boyfriend?" Drake wanted to know, "sorry if you mind me asking, maybe I've already gone too far."
Lisa sighed, "It's Ok, until recently, yeah, but ... see, at my boarding school, there was a certain Michael Barret. We had been dating for over a year, but, just a few months ago, he ran away with Lola Martinez. He claimed she had always been his true love, since they were freshmen." Lisa leaned her head against Drake's shoulders, seeking comfort there.
"Lola Martinez? The aspiring Hollywood actress?" Drake wondered, feeling Lisa nod. Lola had made Drake swooning when he saw her in her first movie. He didn't mention this unto Lisa, thinking it might appear rude to her. He wrapped one arm around Lisa, making her feel more comfortable. "That wasn't easy for you to accept, was it?"
"I was such a fool," Lisa confessed, "Michael just played around with me while lusting for Lola, and I didn't notice anything. Do you have a girlfriend?" Lisa was curious.
"I've already had many of them. They just fell for my looks or my renown as a band leader. But it used to last for like two weeks, not much longer, and I always wondered why I had thought to be in love with any of them," Drake replied, "I always felt wasting myself. I felt tired, but couldn't help falling again, over and over." Drake sighed in agony.
"Sounds fair," Lisa remarked, "do you think I'm something special, when compared to ..."
Drake nodded. "You have dreams similar to mine, and you keep on working hard for them, you certainly understand me better than any of the random girls that just go for the looks and fame," Drake supposed.
"That sounds plausible," Lisa judged. Then she pulled Drake closer for a kiss.
2.3 Megan's Approval
Switching of dorms nonwithstanding, Megan had achieved keeping track of Drake's deeds. She just needed to fix some wires, thus she could spy Drake from her new dorm.
"Aw gross!" she said to herself when she watched Drake and Lisa making out, on the bed she had used to call her own for so many years. Maybe she could have used this for blackmailing Drake? Audrey wouldn't have been pleased when knowing that Drake and Lisa... But, no, Megan wasn't plain mean to Drake. Being a compassionate sister, at least deep down in her heart, she had been suffering because Drake had been unable to hold a girl for more than a fortnight. If he could found true happiness with Lisa, Megan would be all for it. Lisa and Drake weren't really related, were they? But Megan needed to know whether Lisa was truly serious. There's no way Megan would ever have wanted Drake's heart to be broken.
Finally, Lisa slumped on her bed. It hadn't been her intention to fall in love with Drake, but she couldn't help doing so.
"Hey boobette!" Megan addressed Lisa who was shocked because Megan had seemed to be asleep, "You aren't just playing around with Drake, are you?"
Lisa didn't know what to say. How could Megan know about the things that had just been going on in Drake's room? "Have you been spying?"
"It's for the better of Drake, he simply can't keep good care of himself." Megan whistled innocently while she was waiting for Lisa's explanation.
"After everything Michael had done to me, I would never want to play around, that'd be disgusting." Lisa explained, assuming rightfully that Megan knew about Michael and Lola.
"Sorry for that. OK, you may have Drake. I'm not sure what Josh will think about it, though," Megan wondered.
3 Sawing a Virgin
3.1 Shock for Josh
The next weekend, Josh went visiting his family. He was already terrified when he thought about having to sleep either in a hammock or under Drake's bed. Drake and Josh used to hang out together during the weekends Josh spent at home.
Alas, Lisa and Drake had better things to do tonight.
Josh was very disappointed. He was still mad at Walter and hardly talked with Lisa. He decided to go to bed early, hoping that the spiders and rats were on a weekend trip.
Megan froze in shock when she saw Josh walking upstairs. If Josh discovered Drake and Lisa doing whatever they were just up to doing, it would end with a catastrophie. She had no time to lose and went after Josh.
Josh opened the door to his new dorm, and he couldn't trust his eyes when he saw Drake and Lisa making out. Suddenly, he felt Megan grabbing his wrist and pulling him away.
3.2 Megan's Idea
Megan urged Josh to slump onto his old bed. There was no trap. "See, Joshieboob, in the beginning, I was shocked when I saw Drake and Lisa making out. But I want Drake to be happy forever, and I bet you do the same! Don't you?" She asked Josh.
Josh nodded sadly. "But these weekends I've always been spending with Drake. And now ... It's as if I weren't welcome anymore."
"Aw Joshieboob. Drake still needs you somewhat. And if everything else should fail, I may be there for you, as well." Megan petted his geek, feeling the tears.
"Thanks, Megs, that's so nice, for a turn." Josh sighed. "Do you want me to perform some magic tricks?"
"OK, if they are cool and entertaining, why not?" Megan replied.
Josh pulled a talon of cards from his bag, starting to shuffle.
"How lame!" Megan remarked. "Can't you saw a virgin?"
"Saw a virgin?" Josh twitched hysterically.
"Yeah. I won't be a virgin forever. I want to be sawed in half by a great master illusionist while I still am," Megan suggested, all excited. "and you're the next Henry Dohenyi."
"So you do have a boyfriend?" Josh wondered.
"No, not since Corey. If I had, I'd ask you for your advice first. But maybe you may pull me a new boyfriend from your magic hat. Would you do that for me?"
"Thanks for your confidence. Really, I've tried to do the saw-a-virgin-in-half trick, once with Mindy, but she was too much of a chicken," Josh explained.
"Aw come on, I'll be all brave. There's a talent show, here in Bellview, just two weeks from now. That's your great chance!" Megan suggested nicely. "I was really proud of you when you won that talent show with Drake, and when you won the dancing contest with Drake. Let me be proud of you once more, please!" Megan begged.
"OK, Megs, I'll do that for you as you're as nice as an annoying little step-sister can be," Josh agreed, making Megan smile.
3.3 Best Magic Performance Ever
Drake, Lisa, Walter, and Audrey were sitting in the front row. Other guests in the audience included Craig Ramirez, Eric Blonowitz, Mindy Crenshaw, Helen Dubois, Crazy Steve, Gavin, Oprah Winfrey, Henry Dohenyi, and Janie.
Ryan Seecrest, the moderator of the show, announced Josh and Megan.
"Ladies and gentleman, tonight I'm going to saw this charming virgin in half," Josh announced.
"I want Megan in one peace, I dare you!" Drake threatened.
Smiling brightly, Megan accomodated herself in some black box. Her feet and head protruded from the opposite ends of the box.
Josh started sawing.
"Aw, I'm ticklish down there!" Megan stated while still giggling. Some red liquid billowed from the midriff part of the box. Finally, he divided the box into two half-boxes.
"Welcome your two half-sisters!" Josh orderd Drake who was all stoned. He pushed the head end to Drake.
"Hi, boob!" Megan said.
Drake was speechless.
Megan snarfed and bit Drake's nose playfully. Then she spit something to the ground. A red liquid covered the middle of Drake's face. "Egads!"
"She bit my nose off!" Drake complained to Lisa.
Josh withdrew the head end, and then he moved trembling Megan's feet closer to Drake.
"Do you smell them, boob?" Megan's head asked.
Drake could smell them, the missing nose notwithstanding.
Lisa couldn't help licking Drake's wounds. "Yummy, tastes like strawberry jam."
Drake touched his face and ... his nose was still there.
Walter picked up whatever Megan had spit out. "Hm, that's delicious!." Walter chewed on the rubber nose.
Josh combined the two halves of Megan. Then he opened the box, and Megan exited from it, safe and healthy. Josh hugged Megan. "You've been really great, Megs!"
"You were fantastic, too! I'm as proud of you as a little step-sister can be," Megan replied, kissing Josh in a sisterly manner.
The audience applauded Josh and Megan.
Ryan Secrest thanked them before they left the stage.
They sat down by Drake's and Lisa's side.
Drake fumbled at Megan's midriff, checking for her wholeness. "Megan! You're OK. I already feared that ..." Drake stammered, but he could not help smiling.
"Hey boob! Don't push it too far, I'll have to burn my shirt." Megan taunted Drake playfully.
Finally, Ryan Secrest announced the decision of the jurors. "And the winners are ... Josh Nichols and his charming assistant Megan Parker!"
The hall was about bursting when the audience applauded.
Henry Dohenyi swore that he couldn't have made it any better.
Oprah Winfrey just couldn't stand the excitement, and she passed out when Josh was awarded.
Also Walter and Audrey cheered for their kids.
"So what do you think, Drake, Lisa?" Audrey asked. But she didn't get any answer, just strange gurgling sounds filling the air.
Everyone looked at Drake and Lisa. They could not answer because they could not pull apart from each other, as much as they tried. Obviously, their lips were clued to each other. Megan had manipulated them somehow.
Walter and Audrey were shocked. "Drake, Lisa, what are you doing?"
Megan sprayed some water at Drake's and Lisa's mouth, allowing them to separate their faces. "Mom, Dad, if you want to punish Drake and Lisa for having found true happiness, you will have to disown me first!"
"Me too!" Josh added vigorously.
Audrey and Walter could not protest, they were downright overwhelmed by the glorious night. Megan had obviously planned on this, making Drake and Lisa come out in the right moment.
Lisa hugged Josh for the first time in her life because he had stood up for her when she needed it most.
3.4 Next Weeks
During the next weeks, Drake and Lisa prepared for their first common public performance in Santa Barbara. They were also recording the theme song for Malcolm Reese's next movie.
Instead of devising new pranks, Megan invented new illusionist tricks for Josh to perform. She would still assist him, as they were a great team.
Coming back from the toilets, Lisa stumbled upon Josh. "Joshie," Lisa greeted Josh in excitement, "You're a great magician, but Drake does some real tricks, too. Look! He made this stripe here turn all pink."
"Aw, great trick!" Josh taunted hysterically as he didn't understand the significance.
Megan aproached them, whispering to Josh: "Oh Boob, this is a pregnancy test. We're going to have a nephiew or niece."
Josh twitched hysterically. "A nephiew? Or a niece?"
Megan dragged Josh across the toy shops, looking for suitable plush pets.
Josh was all excited as he would soon be an uncle.
3.5 Conclusion
A few weeks later, Drake and Lisa were married. Josh was the best man, while Megan was the maid of honour.
Drake and Lisa became the greatest poprock couple of century XXI.
With Megan's assistance, Josh became the supreme illusionist of the century, legitimate successor to Henry Dohenyi. Privately, they stayed on sibling-like terms, but that was all they ever wanted and needed in order to be the perfect team.
The End
- Title: Drake and Lisa
- Author: Klaus Schilling
- Disclaimer: I don't own Drake_and_Josh or Zoey_101.
- Disclaimer: I don't own 'Highway to Nowhere' by Drake Bell.
- Disclaimer: I don't own Oprah Winfrey, Randy Jackson, or Ryan Secrest.
- Genre: Romance, Family, Friendship
- Rating: Teenagers
- Fandom: Drake & Josh, Zoey 101
- People: Drake, Megan, Josh, Walter, Audrey, Lisa Perkins, ...
- Pairings: Drake/Lisa
- Summary: Singstar Lisa Perkins, half-sister to Josh, moves in with the Parkers and Nichols.
1.1 Californian Singstar
Audrey and Walter were sitting in front of the TV set, watching Californian Singstar. This year, it was particularly interesting. Randy Jackson, the chief of the jury board, had a hard time, and the task wasn't easy for the viewers, either.
"Our next contestantis Lisa Perkins from LA!" Randy Jackson announced.
Walter Nichols froze in his chair. Perkins ... Walter once had an affair with a woman that became a Mrs. Perkins, later on. His first wife never knew of it. His first marriage had been going down the drain, no matter what. Josh had been a little toddler when it happened. Given all these information, Lisa might well have been Walter's illegitimate daughter.
"What's the matter, Walts?" Audrey asked her husband.
"Er ... nothing," Walter replied absent-mindedly. He wasn't very convincing.
Walter had known that his mistress had been pregnant, but never heard again from the kid, be it a boy or a girl. He hadn't been requested to pay for his or her life costs, either. Walter just couldn't bear this suspense. He had to leave for the toilets, but on his way, he doubled over and puked.
"Walter!" Audrey cried, but she couldn't get a reasonable word from her husband.
1.2 Walter's Secret
Josh had been moving out for college, returning about every fortnight. Drake still lived at home, as he just had some occasional jobs. He spent many nights with his band, though. Megan was a freshman at Belleview Highschool. That weekend, she had a sleepover at Janie's, her best friend since middle school.
"Mom, dad!" Megan yelled when she returned from the sleepover.
"Hi Megs, I believe that there's something wrong with dad. He doesn't speak anymore, since last night when we watched Californian Singstar with Randy Jackson," Audrey replied.
Megan just shrugged when she noticed stammering Walter.
Drake was equally helpless when he returned from a night with his band. He was about watching the replay of Californian Singstar.
"Hi boob!" Megan greeted Drake who didn't like it being called like that.
"Hi Megs! Did you watch that episode?" Drake asked his sister.
"No, I'm not into that sort of music, you know," Megan answered honestly.
" I know. But you might watch it for the cute boys in the show," Drake suggested, making Megan laugh.
"Aw boob, do you watch the show for the music or the girls?" Megan replied.
Drake couldn't deny that he was attracted by some of the female contestants, for Megan recognised easily when he lied about a girl. "Well, ... both?"
Megan nodded. "OK, boob!"
"Sometimes I wish you liked poprock. You have a great voice, you could sing for my band ..." Drake mourned sadly.
"See, we can't choose our siblings," Megan countered.
Drake agreed: "Too true! But you're an OK sister. You're the most honest girl that I know of, your diabolic pranks notwithstanding."
"You have your advantages as well. Janie often enough envies me because of you," Megan admitted.
Audrey entered the room, still in despair. "I don't know. Since some Lisa whoever entered the stage, Walter has lost his mind."
"Those girls are all in Drake's age, even a bit younger, Walts isn't pedophile ..." Megan tried to distray some random thought.
"I don't hope that he is," Drake admits, fearing Walter's competition.
Megan sensed Drake's reasons. "OK, boob, keep good care of yourself," Megan said before wandering off to her room.
Drake waved at her. He enjoyed having had a good conversation with Megan, which happened once in a blue moon.
1.3 The letter
A week later, Walter went through his snail mail. And there it was: A letter from his former secret girlfriend, Mrs. Perkins. Walter opened it, alas, he didn't have the guts to read it. He left it on the table.
Audrey stumbled upon the open letter by some Mrs. Perkins.
"Dear Walter, I'm sorry that I haven't written to you in so many years. In particular, I've never told you that we have a common daughter, Lisa. She's now ready to move out to college. You may have seen her on TV, she's participating in the show Californian Singstar. I haven't asked you yet to do anything for Lisa, but now it's time for you to support her. She's going to music school in San Diego, and I ask you to accept her in your household. I know that you have a fairly large house with enough room. Your still caring ..."
Audrey felt like hit by a canon ball. Walter had an illegitimate daughter? OK, that was before the time Audrey and Walter went dating. Anyways, it explained why Walter had gone pale during the broadcast of Californian Singstar. Whateve, Walter had to stand up for his deeds, just like a real man.
1.4 Trading rooms
Audrey had agreed on the details with Mrs. Perkins. Lisa and Megan would live in the room that used to belong to Drake and Josh. Drake would move into Megan's room. Josh, who wasn't around often, would sleep in a hammock in Drake's new room, i.e. formerly Megan's room.
"Tidy up and don't leave anything behind!" Megan commanded Drake, "anything you leave in here will be used against you, boob!"
"It isn't my fault," Drake complained.
"I know, boob," Megan sighed, "I'll do the same in my room before leaving. If I can't stand Lisa, may I move back into my old room and sleep under your bed?"
Drake ruffled Megan's hair. "Of course, Megs, if you don't mind the spiders, and rats, and ..."
Megan laughed.
1.5 Josh is upset
Josh was very upset and disappointed. "So I'm about twenty years old, and now I get to know that I have a sister that is just a year younger. I don't get it," Josh yelled at his father.
"I didn't know about her until ..." Walter tried to excuse himself, but he wasn't quite successful.
"You didn't know her name, or what she looked like, orwhether it was a boy or a girl, but these are just details. The brute facts you kept from me for so many years. I'm really disappointed!" Josh thundered before he stormed out of the kitchen.
"Arrrrghhhhhh!" Josh screamed when he found himself trapoped in a net, hanging from the ceiling above his old bed. "Aw Megan."
Megan entered the room in order to let Josh gently out of the net. "You boob! That trap was for Lisa," Megan explained.
"Sorry!" Josh squealed.
Drake led Josh to their new room.
"A hammock?" Josh screamed in dismay, "I hate hammocks, they are so ..."
"You may choose to sleep under my bed, with the rats and the spiders," Drake offered, making Megan giggle.
"Rats?" Josh twitched. "Spiders?" Josh twitched again, making Drake laugh.
"Did I mention the cockroaches?" Megan added, giggling.
2 Rockpop Stars
2.1 Lisa's Arrival
Lisa arrived one monday night. Drake was forced to carry her luggage, while Megan showed her around the house. Walter was still a bit dazed, but Audrey insisted that everything was OK.
"So you want to make it into the entertainment business?" Audrey asked her stepdaughter.
"I'd love to, of course. It isn't as easy as it seems," Lisa replied.
Drake was very much aware of that. He had landed a few contracts, but they all didn't keep what they appeared to promise. "I always dreamt about making it straight to the top once being 18. But those people who offer contracts are so ... I don't like to talk about it."
"You're into the poprock scene as well?" Lisa asked Drake, dropping her jaw.
"I have got my own band. We've been in LA, but only as subs," Drake answered.
"Maybe if you name me some of your songs ... my memory for people is much worse than my memory for music," Lisa asked him.
"In LA, we sang Highwhere to Nowhere ," Drake stammered.
"Wow, you're not joking, are you? I love Highway to Nowhere," Lisa exclaimed.
"Oh, really?" Drake smiled.
"Absolutely!" Lisa started to sing Drake's song, her stuffed mouth notwithstanding. Chewed food splattered all over the table. "Oops. I better wait until after dinner."
"That would be wise," Audrey remarked while wiping the table.
2.2 Rockpop Stars in Love
After dinner, they went to Drake's new room, picking his guitar.
Drake stram his instrument, so he and Lisa could perform Highwhere To Nowhere.
"... wind up back at nowhere with you ..." Lisa sang.
"Oh cool, you've got the hang out of it," Drake applauded Lisa.
"Do you think we could work on a song, together alone?" Lisa asked Drake.
Drake gasped. "It should be worth an attempt, I guess."
Drake wrote a few notes and words. Lisa tried to sing it. Step by step, they progressed into writing a little song.
"Not bad at all!" Drake remarked after a first attempt of a performance.
Lisa did not just have a great voice, her gestures and postures were fantastic, as well.
They had a lot of fun when they worked on that song, it took them a few days until the song was complete. They already harmonised better than Drake's band did after years of rehearsal.
"I don't know what to say," Drake admitted when sitting down by Lisa's side. Instead of talking, he close his eyes and brushed Lisa's lips with his own. "Sorry, Lisa , I ..."
"Hey, you didn't kill me," Lisa remarked playfully, touching Drake's chin with her tender fingers, tickling him slightly.
"Do you already have a boyfriend?" Drake wanted to know, "sorry if you mind me asking, maybe I've already gone too far."
Lisa sighed, "It's Ok, until recently, yeah, but ... see, at my boarding school, there was a certain Michael Barret. We had been dating for over a year, but, just a few months ago, he ran away with Lola Martinez. He claimed she had always been his true love, since they were freshmen." Lisa leaned her head against Drake's shoulders, seeking comfort there.
"Lola Martinez? The aspiring Hollywood actress?" Drake wondered, feeling Lisa nod. Lola had made Drake swooning when he saw her in her first movie. He didn't mention this unto Lisa, thinking it might appear rude to her. He wrapped one arm around Lisa, making her feel more comfortable. "That wasn't easy for you to accept, was it?"
"I was such a fool," Lisa confessed, "Michael just played around with me while lusting for Lola, and I didn't notice anything. Do you have a girlfriend?" Lisa was curious.
"I've already had many of them. They just fell for my looks or my renown as a band leader. But it used to last for like two weeks, not much longer, and I always wondered why I had thought to be in love with any of them," Drake replied, "I always felt wasting myself. I felt tired, but couldn't help falling again, over and over." Drake sighed in agony.
"Sounds fair," Lisa remarked, "do you think I'm something special, when compared to ..."
Drake nodded. "You have dreams similar to mine, and you keep on working hard for them, you certainly understand me better than any of the random girls that just go for the looks and fame," Drake supposed.
"That sounds plausible," Lisa judged. Then she pulled Drake closer for a kiss.
2.3 Megan's Approval
Switching of dorms nonwithstanding, Megan had achieved keeping track of Drake's deeds. She just needed to fix some wires, thus she could spy Drake from her new dorm.
"Aw gross!" she said to herself when she watched Drake and Lisa making out, on the bed she had used to call her own for so many years. Maybe she could have used this for blackmailing Drake? Audrey wouldn't have been pleased when knowing that Drake and Lisa... But, no, Megan wasn't plain mean to Drake. Being a compassionate sister, at least deep down in her heart, she had been suffering because Drake had been unable to hold a girl for more than a fortnight. If he could found true happiness with Lisa, Megan would be all for it. Lisa and Drake weren't really related, were they? But Megan needed to know whether Lisa was truly serious. There's no way Megan would ever have wanted Drake's heart to be broken.
Finally, Lisa slumped on her bed. It hadn't been her intention to fall in love with Drake, but she couldn't help doing so.
"Hey boobette!" Megan addressed Lisa who was shocked because Megan had seemed to be asleep, "You aren't just playing around with Drake, are you?"
Lisa didn't know what to say. How could Megan know about the things that had just been going on in Drake's room? "Have you been spying?"
"It's for the better of Drake, he simply can't keep good care of himself." Megan whistled innocently while she was waiting for Lisa's explanation.
"After everything Michael had done to me, I would never want to play around, that'd be disgusting." Lisa explained, assuming rightfully that Megan knew about Michael and Lola.
"Sorry for that. OK, you may have Drake. I'm not sure what Josh will think about it, though," Megan wondered.
3 Sawing a Virgin
3.1 Shock for Josh
The next weekend, Josh went visiting his family. He was already terrified when he thought about having to sleep either in a hammock or under Drake's bed. Drake and Josh used to hang out together during the weekends Josh spent at home.
Alas, Lisa and Drake had better things to do tonight.
Josh was very disappointed. He was still mad at Walter and hardly talked with Lisa. He decided to go to bed early, hoping that the spiders and rats were on a weekend trip.
Megan froze in shock when she saw Josh walking upstairs. If Josh discovered Drake and Lisa doing whatever they were just up to doing, it would end with a catastrophie. She had no time to lose and went after Josh.
Josh opened the door to his new dorm, and he couldn't trust his eyes when he saw Drake and Lisa making out. Suddenly, he felt Megan grabbing his wrist and pulling him away.
3.2 Megan's Idea
Megan urged Josh to slump onto his old bed. There was no trap. "See, Joshieboob, in the beginning, I was shocked when I saw Drake and Lisa making out. But I want Drake to be happy forever, and I bet you do the same! Don't you?" She asked Josh.
Josh nodded sadly. "But these weekends I've always been spending with Drake. And now ... It's as if I weren't welcome anymore."
"Aw Joshieboob. Drake still needs you somewhat. And if everything else should fail, I may be there for you, as well." Megan petted his geek, feeling the tears.
"Thanks, Megs, that's so nice, for a turn." Josh sighed. "Do you want me to perform some magic tricks?"
"OK, if they are cool and entertaining, why not?" Megan replied.
Josh pulled a talon of cards from his bag, starting to shuffle.
"How lame!" Megan remarked. "Can't you saw a virgin?"
"Saw a virgin?" Josh twitched hysterically.
"Yeah. I won't be a virgin forever. I want to be sawed in half by a great master illusionist while I still am," Megan suggested, all excited. "and you're the next Henry Dohenyi."
"So you do have a boyfriend?" Josh wondered.
"No, not since Corey. If I had, I'd ask you for your advice first. But maybe you may pull me a new boyfriend from your magic hat. Would you do that for me?"
"Thanks for your confidence. Really, I've tried to do the saw-a-virgin-in-half trick, once with Mindy, but she was too much of a chicken," Josh explained.
"Aw come on, I'll be all brave. There's a talent show, here in Bellview, just two weeks from now. That's your great chance!" Megan suggested nicely. "I was really proud of you when you won that talent show with Drake, and when you won the dancing contest with Drake. Let me be proud of you once more, please!" Megan begged.
"OK, Megs, I'll do that for you as you're as nice as an annoying little step-sister can be," Josh agreed, making Megan smile.
3.3 Best Magic Performance Ever
Drake, Lisa, Walter, and Audrey were sitting in the front row. Other guests in the audience included Craig Ramirez, Eric Blonowitz, Mindy Crenshaw, Helen Dubois, Crazy Steve, Gavin, Oprah Winfrey, Henry Dohenyi, and Janie.
Ryan Seecrest, the moderator of the show, announced Josh and Megan.
"Ladies and gentleman, tonight I'm going to saw this charming virgin in half," Josh announced.
"I want Megan in one peace, I dare you!" Drake threatened.
Smiling brightly, Megan accomodated herself in some black box. Her feet and head protruded from the opposite ends of the box.
Josh started sawing.
"Aw, I'm ticklish down there!" Megan stated while still giggling. Some red liquid billowed from the midriff part of the box. Finally, he divided the box into two half-boxes.
"Welcome your two half-sisters!" Josh orderd Drake who was all stoned. He pushed the head end to Drake.
"Hi, boob!" Megan said.
Drake was speechless.
Megan snarfed and bit Drake's nose playfully. Then she spit something to the ground. A red liquid covered the middle of Drake's face. "Egads!"
"She bit my nose off!" Drake complained to Lisa.
Josh withdrew the head end, and then he moved trembling Megan's feet closer to Drake.
"Do you smell them, boob?" Megan's head asked.
Drake could smell them, the missing nose notwithstanding.
Lisa couldn't help licking Drake's wounds. "Yummy, tastes like strawberry jam."
Drake touched his face and ... his nose was still there.
Walter picked up whatever Megan had spit out. "Hm, that's delicious!." Walter chewed on the rubber nose.
Josh combined the two halves of Megan. Then he opened the box, and Megan exited from it, safe and healthy. Josh hugged Megan. "You've been really great, Megs!"
"You were fantastic, too! I'm as proud of you as a little step-sister can be," Megan replied, kissing Josh in a sisterly manner.
The audience applauded Josh and Megan.
Ryan Secrest thanked them before they left the stage.
They sat down by Drake's and Lisa's side.
Drake fumbled at Megan's midriff, checking for her wholeness. "Megan! You're OK. I already feared that ..." Drake stammered, but he could not help smiling.
"Hey boob! Don't push it too far, I'll have to burn my shirt." Megan taunted Drake playfully.
Finally, Ryan Secrest announced the decision of the jurors. "And the winners are ... Josh Nichols and his charming assistant Megan Parker!"
The hall was about bursting when the audience applauded.
Henry Dohenyi swore that he couldn't have made it any better.
Oprah Winfrey just couldn't stand the excitement, and she passed out when Josh was awarded.
Also Walter and Audrey cheered for their kids.
"So what do you think, Drake, Lisa?" Audrey asked. But she didn't get any answer, just strange gurgling sounds filling the air.
Everyone looked at Drake and Lisa. They could not answer because they could not pull apart from each other, as much as they tried. Obviously, their lips were clued to each other. Megan had manipulated them somehow.
Walter and Audrey were shocked. "Drake, Lisa, what are you doing?"
Megan sprayed some water at Drake's and Lisa's mouth, allowing them to separate their faces. "Mom, Dad, if you want to punish Drake and Lisa for having found true happiness, you will have to disown me first!"
"Me too!" Josh added vigorously.
Audrey and Walter could not protest, they were downright overwhelmed by the glorious night. Megan had obviously planned on this, making Drake and Lisa come out in the right moment.
Lisa hugged Josh for the first time in her life because he had stood up for her when she needed it most.
3.4 Next Weeks
During the next weeks, Drake and Lisa prepared for their first common public performance in Santa Barbara. They were also recording the theme song for Malcolm Reese's next movie.
Instead of devising new pranks, Megan invented new illusionist tricks for Josh to perform. She would still assist him, as they were a great team.
Coming back from the toilets, Lisa stumbled upon Josh. "Joshie," Lisa greeted Josh in excitement, "You're a great magician, but Drake does some real tricks, too. Look! He made this stripe here turn all pink."
"Aw, great trick!" Josh taunted hysterically as he didn't understand the significance.
Megan aproached them, whispering to Josh: "Oh Boob, this is a pregnancy test. We're going to have a nephiew or niece."
Josh twitched hysterically. "A nephiew? Or a niece?"
Megan dragged Josh across the toy shops, looking for suitable plush pets.
Josh was all excited as he would soon be an uncle.
3.5 Conclusion
A few weeks later, Drake and Lisa were married. Josh was the best man, while Megan was the maid of honour.
Drake and Lisa became the greatest poprock couple of century XXI.
With Megan's assistance, Josh became the supreme illusionist of the century, legitimate successor to Henry Dohenyi. Privately, they stayed on sibling-like terms, but that was all they ever wanted and needed in order to be the perfect team.
The End