this time of year
So I know I still have 10 days until New Years, but it seems like every year I think about what I've done more and more.
For the past couple days I've been trying to measure up what this past year has really been about. I think about all the friends I've made, all of the adventures I've had, how far I've come, how much I've changed, but the same few events keep feeling my eardrums and my head.
Some of theses events make me angry, some sad, some confused, and some just frustrated. It seems like no matter what I do these happenings keep popping back into my head. It's like some little kid is playing with a VCR because he wants to see that same part over and over again.
It's really giving me a headache.
As painful as these annoyances seem to be, the only thing I can make of it, is this:
There is so much more of me that hasn't changed; I know that deep in my heart that I still haven't gotten what I desire most. I'm not even sure if I know what that is anymore. I should be plenty happy.
I get along with my family better than I have my whole life, I've actually gone out and made friends in school, and I don't just sit around waiting for people to call. I have so many opportunities for me at school, and more doors are opening everyday I'm there. AND I have so many people back home who appreciate me and who want to see me..
Still I feel like something is wrong; it's not all right..I'm not alright.
I guess if I were to make a New Year Resolution of sorts, it would be to find out what is really bothering me, and get rid of it, patch it up, whatever so that I can be truly happy.
Too bad therapy isn't free...
Hopefully I can find what that is because then I think I will be living life to the fullest which is one thing I'm aspiring to do.
Night Cats.
For the past couple days I've been trying to measure up what this past year has really been about. I think about all the friends I've made, all of the adventures I've had, how far I've come, how much I've changed, but the same few events keep feeling my eardrums and my head.
Some of theses events make me angry, some sad, some confused, and some just frustrated. It seems like no matter what I do these happenings keep popping back into my head. It's like some little kid is playing with a VCR because he wants to see that same part over and over again.
It's really giving me a headache.
As painful as these annoyances seem to be, the only thing I can make of it, is this:
There is so much more of me that hasn't changed; I know that deep in my heart that I still haven't gotten what I desire most. I'm not even sure if I know what that is anymore. I should be plenty happy.
I get along with my family better than I have my whole life, I've actually gone out and made friends in school, and I don't just sit around waiting for people to call. I have so many opportunities for me at school, and more doors are opening everyday I'm there. AND I have so many people back home who appreciate me and who want to see me..
Still I feel like something is wrong; it's not all right..I'm not alright.
I guess if I were to make a New Year Resolution of sorts, it would be to find out what is really bothering me, and get rid of it, patch it up, whatever so that I can be truly happy.
Too bad therapy isn't free...
Hopefully I can find what that is because then I think I will be living life to the fullest which is one thing I'm aspiring to do.
Night Cats.