Watchmen fic: To Relinquish
Title: To Relinquish
Characters/Pairing: Rorschach/Daniel.
Rating: Mature, explicit. Warnings: sexual violence, asphyxiation, Daniel and Rorschach being dicks to each other. Pretty much the opposite of 'safe, sane and consensual'.
Word count: 2200
Summary: Daniel quits, and Rorschach is upset. Post-Roche, pre-established relationship.
A/N: This is... I don't know what this is. It's like my id vomited everywhere. Honestly, I was trying to write Rorschach/Adrian, but I hit a block and ended up writing this instead.
===
"You're thinking of giving up," Rorschach said, as if he'd known it all along.
"Thinking of it. Yeah," said Daniel.
Rorschach nodded once, slowly. For a moment, Daniel was foolish enough to think that Rorschach was taking it very well.
Daniel felt a need to justify himself. "I'm sorry, man, but... I can't keep doing this forever. And things were already difficult enough before the Keene Act. I want to bow out gracefully before it's too late, you know? I don't want to end up..." End up like you, basically.
"Understood," said Rorschach.
Daniel tried to think of something to say, but his thoughts were smothered by the heavy silence of the basement. He took a small step away from Rorschach, and leaned against Archie's hull. Being out of uniform made him feel vulnerable.
"When did you realize I was thinking of quitting, anyway?" Daniel asked.
The ink pattern didn't change. "Long time ago."
Daniel listened carefully to Rorschach's voice, seeking a recognizable emotion - anger, bitterness, regret - but there was nothing.
"I'm just retiring Nite Owl," Daniel said. "I mean, I know we haven't worked together in a while, but... It doesn't mean we have to, uh, stop seeing each other."
Rorschach's right hand briefly curled into a fist, then relaxed again, and Daniel realized that he resented the man. He resented the way that Rorschach made him nervous. He resented having to interpret Rorschach's moods. He resented the way that Rorschach made him feel guilty.
He resented the way that Rorschach had gotten worse, ever since Blair Roche.
Rorschach remained silent.
"Well?" Daniel prompted.
"Can see we have very different priorities," said Rorschach.
There was something in his tone that Daniel didn't like. Still, Daniel had to agree. "Yeah, I guess so."
"I'm disappointed in you."
"I know."
Rorschach stood there, perfectly still. Daniel didn't like the passivity. It seemed wrong.
Daniel removed his glasses and set them down on a nearby workbench. Then, carefully, he approached Rorschach, and raised a hand to his face. Rorschach allowed Daniel to push the mask up over the bridge of his nose, so Daniel could kiss him.
It was, in retrospect, a manipulative thing to do. Rorschach kissed him back anyway.
At first, the kiss was dispassionate and perfunctory, more like an automatic response than a gesture of affection. Gradually, however, Rorschach became more animated; the kiss became rougher, more possessive, and Daniel's body responded, as it had been conditioned to do. His resentment sat at the back of his mind, but he ignored it in favor of lust. It had been a long time since he and Rorschach had done anything together.
Rorschach shoved him back against the basement wall - the impact almost knocked the breath out of Daniel's lungs, and he felt his cock twitch. He was still sensible enough to wonder what the hell the two of them were doing - was this going to be a goodbye fuck, for old time's sake? Or was Rorschach just feeling needy and confused and spontaneous again, like how he'd sometimes been, a long time ago, back before the Roche case? Daniel didn't know. That was the problem: he didn't know anything about Rorschach anymore. Regardless, Daniel still wanted the attention. He wanted things to go back to the way they'd been.
Rorschach unfastened Daniel's fly and slipped a hand under the waistband of his underpants, so Daniel hardened against the worn leather of Rorschach's glove. Rorschach's grip tightened until it hurt.
Distracted, Daniel fumbled with unbuttoning Rorschach's clothes. The two of them were a ridiculous, hurried tangle of limbs, and it was as if neither of them wanted to slow down for fear that they might lose the moment. However, when Daniel tried to tug down Rorschach's pants, Rorschach stopped him.
Daniel gave it little thought. Instead, he rubbed Rorschach's cock through his clothing, and Rorschach pressed against his hand, desperate for contact. The old lust was still there, even if nothing else was. Daniel wasn't sure why they were both still attracted to each other, after everything.
Rorschach leaned against him, seemingly content to be touched. He probably could've stayed like that for the rest of the night if Daniel had let him.
"Please," Daniel said, without really knowing what he wanted.
Rorschach straightened, then put a hand on Daniel's shoulder and pushed him down to the floor; Daniel's shirt snagged against the rough wall, so the brickwork grazed his back. At first, Daniel thought has being put in the position to suck him off, but Rorschach said, "Sit."
Daniel obeyed.
Rorschach yanked his own pants down to his thighs, and squatted over Daniel's lap. He took Daniel's cock in his hand again, freeing it from his underwear, and slowly sunk down onto it. The penetration made him inhale sharply, drawing breath through his teeth. Daniel flinched. He found it uncomfortable; he couldn't imagine what it must've felt like from Rorschach's position. He saw a rare flicker of pain cross Rorschach's features, the ink shifting abruptly.
Daniel's mouth went dry.
Rorschach was hot and tight around him, stretched open and pinned there, legs spread as he crouched. His shirt barely covered his erection; Daniel ran his fingers along the length, too lightly. Rorschach groaned. Encouraged, Daniel pressed against the tip, so Rorschach's pre-cum leaked against the pad of his thumb.
"You disgust me," Rorschach said, out of the blue. His voice was strained and quiet.
Daniel glanced up and, for the first time, saw the grim set of Rorschach's mouth.
It occurred to Daniel that they should stop. He tried to say so, but the words didn't come out.
Rorschach began to thrust down against him, and it felt good. It was still too rough, though. He was going to make Rorschach bleed.
"Rorschach," Daniel said. "Wait..."
"Thought this was what you wanted."
Daniel gripped Rorschach's arms. "Just... wait a moment."
"I know you," said Rorschach. He kept moving, thrusting against Daniel's cock. "Know how your mind works."
Daniel struggled to speak. "You're creeping me out."
"Thought that was part of the appeal," said Rorschach, breaking free of Daniel's grasp.
Daniel laughed. It was an ugly little sound, almost a gasp. His physical discomfort had subsided, replaced by the usual ache of arousal. Rorschach was a lot of things, but at that moment, he was just warm, and tight, and interesting in a way that went straight to Daniel's lizard brain.
"You don't want your responsibility any more," said Rorschach. "You just want this. Want to still indulge your predilections."
"I never meant..." Daniel began, although he wasn't sure what he was trying to say. "...I mean, it was never just about the sex."
"Then what else do we have in common, now?" Rorschach asked.
"If you think I'm using you..." Daniel said, "I'm not."
"I know when you're lying."
A sick feeling wormed its way through Daniel's gut, but his erection didn't subside. "Then... what? You're just fucking me out of spite?"
Rorschach hit him, and the world came undone. His head slammed back against the wall behind him.
When he opened his eyes, he saw Rorschach's mouth move, but the words were lost under the ringing in his ears. It was lucky that they were so close together, as Rorschach had lacked the space to throw a decent hook. Daniel tasted blood.
The ringing subsided, and he heard Rorschach say, "This is your fault."
Initially, Daniel was too stunned to react.
Then, Daniel said, "You're crazy."
Rorschach hit him again. Daniel's position made it impossible to avoid. The universe seemed to fold in on itself, becoming smaller, so all he could feel was the heavy ache inside his cock and the pain inside his skull. For a second, the two sensations were almost indistinct from each other, eclipsing all else. He heard himself moan.
He only realized the danger of the situation when Rorschach grabbed him by the collar of his shirt, and it crossed his mind that Rorschach might try to kill him.
Daniel's training kicked in: he grabbed Rorschach's forearms, then twisted his body, arching his hips upwards to put Rorschach off-balance. The change in position took place in seconds - it was almost too easy. Once he had Rorschach on his back, he was able to pin him.
"You instigated this," Rorschach hissed through his teeth. "You encouraged it. I don't... I never wanted this perversion. And you. Now you think you can walk away from the things that matter. But you still think I'll keep doing this with you. I'm not this."
"Rorschach, calm down," said Daniel, automatically. He was aware, on some level, that he ought to talk Rorschach out of it.
"You think I'm sick. Not sick. World is sick. You're sick."
Daniel wasn't hard any more. Rorschach still was, though. His shirt and jacket were bunched up around his waist, while his pants were around his knees, leaving his erection exposed. The reddened flesh stood out against the paleness of his belly.
"You like this," Daniel said, without thinking, then felt ill for saying it.
He didn't know how Rorschach managed to break free and punch him, but Rorschach did. Everything blanked out for a second, but Daniel managed to untangle his mind from the pain. He made himself focus.
His brain was struggling to catch up with what was happening, but the rational part of his mind noted the clumsiness of Rorschach's attacks. Rorschach wasn't fighting intelligently. He was just fighting for the hell of it. It wasn't like him.
Daniel's position still gave him the advantage, so he shoved the heel of his hand underneath Rorschach's chin, cracking his head against the floor. Rorschach grunted in pain.
Daniel had to swallow a mouthful of blood and saliva before he could speak again. "What the fuck is wrong with you?"
It was an idiotic thing to say, as it just antagonized Rorschach further. They grappled, made stupid by anger and other things they didn't fully understand. Rorschach kicked and fought, but Daniel used their relative difference in weight and size against him. He was able to get his hands around Rorschach's throat; they seemed to close around it perfectly, as if they'd been made to fit together.
Rorschach struggled with renewed panic, and Christ, his attacks hurt, but Daniel could feel him weaken. It was just a matter of patience.
Daniel said, "Calm down and I'll let you go." He was breathless, but his voice sounded calmer than he felt.
Rorschach's face was flushed, and his mouth was open in a wordless cry. The ink cycled rapidly. It gave Daniel an awful sense of power. He briefly lessened the pressure around Rorschach's throat, feeling a curious benevolence, then tightened his grip again. Rorschach made one last effort to break free, then eventually gave up - exhausted, but still conscious.
Daniel was able to keep Rorschach pinned with one hand, so he pushed his legs up to his chest. Rorschach managed to kick him in the ribs, winding him for a moment, but nothing worse.
With Rorschach's legs spread, Daniel could see the pink skin of his anus. He felt his cock harden again.
He touched the tip of his cock against Rorschach's asshole, making it clench. Rorschach moved suddenly, trying to look up and see what Daniel was doing. Still, Daniel didn't penetrate him. He kept his hand on Rorschach's throat, feeling the rapid beat of his pulse. He no longer felt resentment towards Rorschach, just an odd sort of sympathy.
He tugged once on Rorschach's erection, then stroked the side of Rorschach's face, leaving a smear of pre-cum on his cheek. Rorschach whimpered, and turned his head to press his mouth against Daniel's palm.
Daniel glanced down just in time to see Rorschach ejaculate on himself, back arching, cock twitching as it spilled semen onto his belly.
He only let go when Rorschach's ejaculation subsided.
Reality hit him like a concussion, causing a wave of nausea. Daniel sat back, while Rorschach remained on the floor, still breathing raggedly. They were both sweaty and half-dressed, sticky and obscene.
"Oh god," Daniel said.
Rorschach sat up. There were finger marks on his neck, visible where his scarf had come loose. The first thing he did was adjust his clothes to hide the marks. Then he wiped his face with the back of his wrist, slowly and deliberately, before covering himself up.
Daniel said, in a small voice, "I'm sorry."
"Don't," said Rorschach.
Daniel reached out to touch him.
"Don't," Rorschach repeated.
They stood. Daniel fixed his clothes, mindlessly purposeful, then took out a handkerchief to wipe the blood from his face. He felt spent, almost as if he'd climaxed as well. There was no sense of post-orgasmic warmth, though.
When he glanced up, he saw that Rorschach was staring at him. If it hadn't been for the mask, they would've looked into each other's eyes.
Rorschach inclined his head slightly, and made a quiet sound, as if Daniel had just confirmed something for him.
"If you want to quit," said Rorschach, "perhaps it's for the best."
Daniel didn't get the chance to reply. Rorschach was already walking away.
Characters/Pairing: Rorschach/Daniel.
Rating: Mature, explicit. Warnings: sexual violence, asphyxiation, Daniel and Rorschach being dicks to each other. Pretty much the opposite of 'safe, sane and consensual'.
Word count: 2200
Summary: Daniel quits, and Rorschach is upset. Post-Roche, pre-established relationship.
A/N: This is... I don't know what this is. It's like my id vomited everywhere. Honestly, I was trying to write Rorschach/Adrian, but I hit a block and ended up writing this instead.
===
"You're thinking of giving up," Rorschach said, as if he'd known it all along.
"Thinking of it. Yeah," said Daniel.
Rorschach nodded once, slowly. For a moment, Daniel was foolish enough to think that Rorschach was taking it very well.
Daniel felt a need to justify himself. "I'm sorry, man, but... I can't keep doing this forever. And things were already difficult enough before the Keene Act. I want to bow out gracefully before it's too late, you know? I don't want to end up..." End up like you, basically.
"Understood," said Rorschach.
Daniel tried to think of something to say, but his thoughts were smothered by the heavy silence of the basement. He took a small step away from Rorschach, and leaned against Archie's hull. Being out of uniform made him feel vulnerable.
"When did you realize I was thinking of quitting, anyway?" Daniel asked.
The ink pattern didn't change. "Long time ago."
Daniel listened carefully to Rorschach's voice, seeking a recognizable emotion - anger, bitterness, regret - but there was nothing.
"I'm just retiring Nite Owl," Daniel said. "I mean, I know we haven't worked together in a while, but... It doesn't mean we have to, uh, stop seeing each other."
Rorschach's right hand briefly curled into a fist, then relaxed again, and Daniel realized that he resented the man. He resented the way that Rorschach made him nervous. He resented having to interpret Rorschach's moods. He resented the way that Rorschach made him feel guilty.
He resented the way that Rorschach had gotten worse, ever since Blair Roche.
Rorschach remained silent.
"Well?" Daniel prompted.
"Can see we have very different priorities," said Rorschach.
There was something in his tone that Daniel didn't like. Still, Daniel had to agree. "Yeah, I guess so."
"I'm disappointed in you."
"I know."
Rorschach stood there, perfectly still. Daniel didn't like the passivity. It seemed wrong.
Daniel removed his glasses and set them down on a nearby workbench. Then, carefully, he approached Rorschach, and raised a hand to his face. Rorschach allowed Daniel to push the mask up over the bridge of his nose, so Daniel could kiss him.
It was, in retrospect, a manipulative thing to do. Rorschach kissed him back anyway.
At first, the kiss was dispassionate and perfunctory, more like an automatic response than a gesture of affection. Gradually, however, Rorschach became more animated; the kiss became rougher, more possessive, and Daniel's body responded, as it had been conditioned to do. His resentment sat at the back of his mind, but he ignored it in favor of lust. It had been a long time since he and Rorschach had done anything together.
Rorschach shoved him back against the basement wall - the impact almost knocked the breath out of Daniel's lungs, and he felt his cock twitch. He was still sensible enough to wonder what the hell the two of them were doing - was this going to be a goodbye fuck, for old time's sake? Or was Rorschach just feeling needy and confused and spontaneous again, like how he'd sometimes been, a long time ago, back before the Roche case? Daniel didn't know. That was the problem: he didn't know anything about Rorschach anymore. Regardless, Daniel still wanted the attention. He wanted things to go back to the way they'd been.
Rorschach unfastened Daniel's fly and slipped a hand under the waistband of his underpants, so Daniel hardened against the worn leather of Rorschach's glove. Rorschach's grip tightened until it hurt.
Distracted, Daniel fumbled with unbuttoning Rorschach's clothes. The two of them were a ridiculous, hurried tangle of limbs, and it was as if neither of them wanted to slow down for fear that they might lose the moment. However, when Daniel tried to tug down Rorschach's pants, Rorschach stopped him.
Daniel gave it little thought. Instead, he rubbed Rorschach's cock through his clothing, and Rorschach pressed against his hand, desperate for contact. The old lust was still there, even if nothing else was. Daniel wasn't sure why they were both still attracted to each other, after everything.
Rorschach leaned against him, seemingly content to be touched. He probably could've stayed like that for the rest of the night if Daniel had let him.
"Please," Daniel said, without really knowing what he wanted.
Rorschach straightened, then put a hand on Daniel's shoulder and pushed him down to the floor; Daniel's shirt snagged against the rough wall, so the brickwork grazed his back. At first, Daniel thought has being put in the position to suck him off, but Rorschach said, "Sit."
Daniel obeyed.
Rorschach yanked his own pants down to his thighs, and squatted over Daniel's lap. He took Daniel's cock in his hand again, freeing it from his underwear, and slowly sunk down onto it. The penetration made him inhale sharply, drawing breath through his teeth. Daniel flinched. He found it uncomfortable; he couldn't imagine what it must've felt like from Rorschach's position. He saw a rare flicker of pain cross Rorschach's features, the ink shifting abruptly.
Daniel's mouth went dry.
Rorschach was hot and tight around him, stretched open and pinned there, legs spread as he crouched. His shirt barely covered his erection; Daniel ran his fingers along the length, too lightly. Rorschach groaned. Encouraged, Daniel pressed against the tip, so Rorschach's pre-cum leaked against the pad of his thumb.
"You disgust me," Rorschach said, out of the blue. His voice was strained and quiet.
Daniel glanced up and, for the first time, saw the grim set of Rorschach's mouth.
It occurred to Daniel that they should stop. He tried to say so, but the words didn't come out.
Rorschach began to thrust down against him, and it felt good. It was still too rough, though. He was going to make Rorschach bleed.
"Rorschach," Daniel said. "Wait..."
"Thought this was what you wanted."
Daniel gripped Rorschach's arms. "Just... wait a moment."
"I know you," said Rorschach. He kept moving, thrusting against Daniel's cock. "Know how your mind works."
Daniel struggled to speak. "You're creeping me out."
"Thought that was part of the appeal," said Rorschach, breaking free of Daniel's grasp.
Daniel laughed. It was an ugly little sound, almost a gasp. His physical discomfort had subsided, replaced by the usual ache of arousal. Rorschach was a lot of things, but at that moment, he was just warm, and tight, and interesting in a way that went straight to Daniel's lizard brain.
"You don't want your responsibility any more," said Rorschach. "You just want this. Want to still indulge your predilections."
"I never meant..." Daniel began, although he wasn't sure what he was trying to say. "...I mean, it was never just about the sex."
"Then what else do we have in common, now?" Rorschach asked.
"If you think I'm using you..." Daniel said, "I'm not."
"I know when you're lying."
A sick feeling wormed its way through Daniel's gut, but his erection didn't subside. "Then... what? You're just fucking me out of spite?"
Rorschach hit him, and the world came undone. His head slammed back against the wall behind him.
When he opened his eyes, he saw Rorschach's mouth move, but the words were lost under the ringing in his ears. It was lucky that they were so close together, as Rorschach had lacked the space to throw a decent hook. Daniel tasted blood.
The ringing subsided, and he heard Rorschach say, "This is your fault."
Initially, Daniel was too stunned to react.
Then, Daniel said, "You're crazy."
Rorschach hit him again. Daniel's position made it impossible to avoid. The universe seemed to fold in on itself, becoming smaller, so all he could feel was the heavy ache inside his cock and the pain inside his skull. For a second, the two sensations were almost indistinct from each other, eclipsing all else. He heard himself moan.
He only realized the danger of the situation when Rorschach grabbed him by the collar of his shirt, and it crossed his mind that Rorschach might try to kill him.
Daniel's training kicked in: he grabbed Rorschach's forearms, then twisted his body, arching his hips upwards to put Rorschach off-balance. The change in position took place in seconds - it was almost too easy. Once he had Rorschach on his back, he was able to pin him.
"You instigated this," Rorschach hissed through his teeth. "You encouraged it. I don't... I never wanted this perversion. And you. Now you think you can walk away from the things that matter. But you still think I'll keep doing this with you. I'm not this."
"Rorschach, calm down," said Daniel, automatically. He was aware, on some level, that he ought to talk Rorschach out of it.
"You think I'm sick. Not sick. World is sick. You're sick."
Daniel wasn't hard any more. Rorschach still was, though. His shirt and jacket were bunched up around his waist, while his pants were around his knees, leaving his erection exposed. The reddened flesh stood out against the paleness of his belly.
"You like this," Daniel said, without thinking, then felt ill for saying it.
He didn't know how Rorschach managed to break free and punch him, but Rorschach did. Everything blanked out for a second, but Daniel managed to untangle his mind from the pain. He made himself focus.
His brain was struggling to catch up with what was happening, but the rational part of his mind noted the clumsiness of Rorschach's attacks. Rorschach wasn't fighting intelligently. He was just fighting for the hell of it. It wasn't like him.
Daniel's position still gave him the advantage, so he shoved the heel of his hand underneath Rorschach's chin, cracking his head against the floor. Rorschach grunted in pain.
Daniel had to swallow a mouthful of blood and saliva before he could speak again. "What the fuck is wrong with you?"
It was an idiotic thing to say, as it just antagonized Rorschach further. They grappled, made stupid by anger and other things they didn't fully understand. Rorschach kicked and fought, but Daniel used their relative difference in weight and size against him. He was able to get his hands around Rorschach's throat; they seemed to close around it perfectly, as if they'd been made to fit together.
Rorschach struggled with renewed panic, and Christ, his attacks hurt, but Daniel could feel him weaken. It was just a matter of patience.
Daniel said, "Calm down and I'll let you go." He was breathless, but his voice sounded calmer than he felt.
Rorschach's face was flushed, and his mouth was open in a wordless cry. The ink cycled rapidly. It gave Daniel an awful sense of power. He briefly lessened the pressure around Rorschach's throat, feeling a curious benevolence, then tightened his grip again. Rorschach made one last effort to break free, then eventually gave up - exhausted, but still conscious.
Daniel was able to keep Rorschach pinned with one hand, so he pushed his legs up to his chest. Rorschach managed to kick him in the ribs, winding him for a moment, but nothing worse.
With Rorschach's legs spread, Daniel could see the pink skin of his anus. He felt his cock harden again.
He touched the tip of his cock against Rorschach's asshole, making it clench. Rorschach moved suddenly, trying to look up and see what Daniel was doing. Still, Daniel didn't penetrate him. He kept his hand on Rorschach's throat, feeling the rapid beat of his pulse. He no longer felt resentment towards Rorschach, just an odd sort of sympathy.
He tugged once on Rorschach's erection, then stroked the side of Rorschach's face, leaving a smear of pre-cum on his cheek. Rorschach whimpered, and turned his head to press his mouth against Daniel's palm.
Daniel glanced down just in time to see Rorschach ejaculate on himself, back arching, cock twitching as it spilled semen onto his belly.
He only let go when Rorschach's ejaculation subsided.
Reality hit him like a concussion, causing a wave of nausea. Daniel sat back, while Rorschach remained on the floor, still breathing raggedly. They were both sweaty and half-dressed, sticky and obscene.
"Oh god," Daniel said.
Rorschach sat up. There were finger marks on his neck, visible where his scarf had come loose. The first thing he did was adjust his clothes to hide the marks. Then he wiped his face with the back of his wrist, slowly and deliberately, before covering himself up.
Daniel said, in a small voice, "I'm sorry."
"Don't," said Rorschach.
Daniel reached out to touch him.
"Don't," Rorschach repeated.
They stood. Daniel fixed his clothes, mindlessly purposeful, then took out a handkerchief to wipe the blood from his face. He felt spent, almost as if he'd climaxed as well. There was no sense of post-orgasmic warmth, though.
When he glanced up, he saw that Rorschach was staring at him. If it hadn't been for the mask, they would've looked into each other's eyes.
Rorschach inclined his head slightly, and made a quiet sound, as if Daniel had just confirmed something for him.
"If you want to quit," said Rorschach, "perhaps it's for the best."
Daniel didn't get the chance to reply. Rorschach was already walking away.