Change is a must.
I've come to a crossroad in my life, where my past is conflicting with the present and future, and I just have to let it go. My past is my past, and I know I messed up more than a lot of people ever will. Some of the actions and things that I did in the past are still with me today, and I've made a promise that they won't be there from now on...to myself, and to everyone else. I can't let others pull me down and then allow myself to pull down people I actually care about because of the situation. The excuses and lies are over. They are pointless and only hurt myself and others in the longrun. I've had a big huge leap tonight in my journey in life, and this time it is for the better. I'm not going to turn around and do the things I used to do. I'm not going to hurt or hurt others. It's disappointing and disgusting. For this reason I now have to gain back the full trust I once had with people which is a very hard task, but I've done it before with my mother, and if I can do it with her, I know I can do it with everyone else. It's just not worth it anymore to live like that. I'm not going to let myself lose people because of my ignorance and immaturity. I would like to apologize to all that I have hurt and may hurt in the future (if I just straight up tell you we can't be friends because it just isn't healthy for me) but please just realize that this is something that I have to do for me, in order to be happy, and help others and become the best that I can be. I know I screwed up, and there is no excuse, no one else to blame, nothing except for me, and I take full responsibility for the repercussions that have come about because of it, and I'm going to make damn sure that my time and my time with the people I love won't be wasted.