Episode 29 - LGBT News Transcript
LGBT News Transcript
Host: wook77
Oh bigotry, oh bigotry
How widespread and pervasive is thee?
I don't know about any of the rest of you but, growing up, I had the biggest crush on Kirk Cameron. Ok, and Ricky Schroeder so maybe I didn't have the best taste and, now, I know that's true because it turns out that Kirk Cameron isn't just a fundamentalist Christian idiot, he's a crazyass uninformed fundamentalist Christian idiot. I'm just glad that his posters got destroyed years ago because I'm already ashamed enough of my crush of him in wake of his recent comments about marriage equality and homosexuality. Let me tell you… bigotry is what's unnatural and, honestly? What civilization was destroyed because of the gay?
Did you know that pink bowling balls might turn you gay? According to Rick Santorum, bowling with a pink bowling ball is gay. Gay gay gay gay gay. I guess unless you're a girl. Then it's fine. But if you bowl with blue balls… then you're gay. Gay gay gay gay gay. Unless they're your boyfriend's blue balls and then that's ok because you're practicing abstinence only safe sex.
Carson Daly shows what a dick he is when he said that a bunch of gay guys couldn't have taken down a crazy pilot. The best part of his idiotic rant is that the mother of one of the Flight 93 passengers smacked him down so hard that Carson Daly had to be seeing the slime under his own shoes. Turns out that Mark Bingham, who stormed the cockpit of Flight 93 on 9/11 was gay. I'm going to quote her because it's a thing of beauty:
"Yes, my gay son was known in our family for bringing me flowers on my birthday and Mother’s Day," Alice Hoagland tells TMZ. "He also was known for careening down the rugby pitch, and, on the morning of Sept. 11, 2001, for charging unarmed down the aisle of a doomed Boeing 757 to face knife-wielding Islamist thugs in a hijacked cockpit...no one among his pick-up team of fellow passengers was asking 'Are you straight? Are you gay?'"
"The world has its share of strong, heroic gay men," Hoagland concludes. "Gay men in sports uniforms and military uniforms have been winning America’s games and fighting America’s battles for a long time: quietly, humbly, and in the face of vicious bigotry."
So, in summation, Carson Daly, eat it.
And, even though I feel like every time I say their name, they're going to pop out of the woodwork somewhere, NOM, the national organization of marriage, had a bunch of internal memos get leaked that showed their plan to drive a wedge between the black community and the LGBT community. I'm just glad they're out there so that anyone can see how freaking ridiculous and bigoted this organization is.
Oh and hey, in slightly fannish news of bigotry, Star Wars, the Old Republic, the giant game from BioWare, has same sex couples. Now, some of you might be shouting for joy. Others of you might be saying 'meh, videogames' and others might be saying, well, maybe. Let me tell you that according to the Florida Family Association, this can only lead to Darth RuPaula. Yup, you heard me right. There were clearly no gay people in Star Wars (except for the fact of how the hell could you tell if they were gay or straight because other than Luke, Leia and Han, they were all fairly non-sexual), that gay people lead to the dark side and the leader of the dark side is, clearly, Darth RuPaula.
But good news, time, too! I don't think dolphins have gotten the memo that bisexuals don't exist because in a recent study, it turns out that dolphins engaged in extensive bisexuality and long periods of homosexuality. Guess that's not natural, though, is it, Kirk?
Progressive Muslims have launched a gay-friendly, woman led mosque initiative in an attempt to reform Islam in America. Glad to see that there are progressive, awesome people in every major religion out there because it can get really disheartening to read about yet another bigoted religious group.
I'll be including a video that made me happy clap. I opened the segment up with one of my many childhood crushes gone wrong but I'm going to close it with one of my many childhood crushes gone right. Turns out that Uncle Jessie, Mister John Stamos, recently volunteered himself for a kiss to benefit GLAAD. He was the only gay kiss up there and he not only kissed the guy once but he did it twice. I was happy clapping my way through it. John Stamos, thank you for showing that maybe my taste doesn't run towards bigoted douchefaces.
And, finally, yet another video that made me happy clap, ABC did a segment of "what would you do" about whether people would step in to defend kids being bullied in public for having gay parents. There were tons of people that stepped in and it was beautiful. Seriously beautiful. It made me want to cry because so many more people stepped in than I thought would. You have to see it to believe it.
With that, I apologize for the singing at the beginning. That concludes our LGBT news segment for Slashcast, Episode 29. If you have any hints, tips or opinions, please feel free to leave a comment!
Host: wook77
Oh bigotry, oh bigotry
How widespread and pervasive is thee?
I don't know about any of the rest of you but, growing up, I had the biggest crush on Kirk Cameron. Ok, and Ricky Schroeder so maybe I didn't have the best taste and, now, I know that's true because it turns out that Kirk Cameron isn't just a fundamentalist Christian idiot, he's a crazyass uninformed fundamentalist Christian idiot. I'm just glad that his posters got destroyed years ago because I'm already ashamed enough of my crush of him in wake of his recent comments about marriage equality and homosexuality. Let me tell you… bigotry is what's unnatural and, honestly? What civilization was destroyed because of the gay?
Did you know that pink bowling balls might turn you gay? According to Rick Santorum, bowling with a pink bowling ball is gay. Gay gay gay gay gay. I guess unless you're a girl. Then it's fine. But if you bowl with blue balls… then you're gay. Gay gay gay gay gay. Unless they're your boyfriend's blue balls and then that's ok because you're practicing abstinence only safe sex.
Carson Daly shows what a dick he is when he said that a bunch of gay guys couldn't have taken down a crazy pilot. The best part of his idiotic rant is that the mother of one of the Flight 93 passengers smacked him down so hard that Carson Daly had to be seeing the slime under his own shoes. Turns out that Mark Bingham, who stormed the cockpit of Flight 93 on 9/11 was gay. I'm going to quote her because it's a thing of beauty:
"Yes, my gay son was known in our family for bringing me flowers on my birthday and Mother’s Day," Alice Hoagland tells TMZ. "He also was known for careening down the rugby pitch, and, on the morning of Sept. 11, 2001, for charging unarmed down the aisle of a doomed Boeing 757 to face knife-wielding Islamist thugs in a hijacked cockpit...no one among his pick-up team of fellow passengers was asking 'Are you straight? Are you gay?'"
"The world has its share of strong, heroic gay men," Hoagland concludes. "Gay men in sports uniforms and military uniforms have been winning America’s games and fighting America’s battles for a long time: quietly, humbly, and in the face of vicious bigotry."
So, in summation, Carson Daly, eat it.
And, even though I feel like every time I say their name, they're going to pop out of the woodwork somewhere, NOM, the national organization of marriage, had a bunch of internal memos get leaked that showed their plan to drive a wedge between the black community and the LGBT community. I'm just glad they're out there so that anyone can see how freaking ridiculous and bigoted this organization is.
Oh and hey, in slightly fannish news of bigotry, Star Wars, the Old Republic, the giant game from BioWare, has same sex couples. Now, some of you might be shouting for joy. Others of you might be saying 'meh, videogames' and others might be saying, well, maybe. Let me tell you that according to the Florida Family Association, this can only lead to Darth RuPaula. Yup, you heard me right. There were clearly no gay people in Star Wars (except for the fact of how the hell could you tell if they were gay or straight because other than Luke, Leia and Han, they were all fairly non-sexual), that gay people lead to the dark side and the leader of the dark side is, clearly, Darth RuPaula.
But good news, time, too! I don't think dolphins have gotten the memo that bisexuals don't exist because in a recent study, it turns out that dolphins engaged in extensive bisexuality and long periods of homosexuality. Guess that's not natural, though, is it, Kirk?
Progressive Muslims have launched a gay-friendly, woman led mosque initiative in an attempt to reform Islam in America. Glad to see that there are progressive, awesome people in every major religion out there because it can get really disheartening to read about yet another bigoted religious group.
I'll be including a video that made me happy clap. I opened the segment up with one of my many childhood crushes gone wrong but I'm going to close it with one of my many childhood crushes gone right. Turns out that Uncle Jessie, Mister John Stamos, recently volunteered himself for a kiss to benefit GLAAD. He was the only gay kiss up there and he not only kissed the guy once but he did it twice. I was happy clapping my way through it. John Stamos, thank you for showing that maybe my taste doesn't run towards bigoted douchefaces.
And, finally, yet another video that made me happy clap, ABC did a segment of "what would you do" about whether people would step in to defend kids being bullied in public for having gay parents. There were tons of people that stepped in and it was beautiful. Seriously beautiful. It made me want to cry because so many more people stepped in than I thought would. You have to see it to believe it.
With that, I apologize for the singing at the beginning. That concludes our LGBT news segment for Slashcast, Episode 29. If you have any hints, tips or opinions, please feel free to leave a comment!