Well..I got arrested yesterday :P
Shoplifting 160$ worth of fucking make up at Target. That wasn't the first time so I thought I'd get away with it, so I carefully strutted down the exit like I always do, but then BAM, a guy that worked suddenly grabbed me && said in this most mexican-ish deep accent, 'you're coming with me.' God, I was calm, but I knew was in deepshit. When I got the place where they kept all their hostages I guess (cause yeah, their were handcuffs on the seats) they then told me to empty everything out on my purse. Then they made me say all this info, name, birthdate, mom && dad's name, adress, etc. etc.
I was just sitting there...looking at a target cop typing all my shit down on a computer, a woman that worked there, Yvette, I think her name was. Then there was the man that caught me inside the room with all the camera monitors. I started getting bored, so what'd I do? Start trying to make conversation. I was all like, 'Did you guys do this type of shit to when you were younger?' They all started laughing and smiling. && that's when I knew they did, but they kept denying it :P But for while all the tension died down.
Then they started calling my dad...Oh god. At first I guess he hung up not quite believing it. So I had to call Lily to call him back saying I got arrested. Lily couldn't believe it either! :P She's, I guess, my partner in crime. But like, I was the one that taught her to shoplift.. Hell, I was the one that influneced her older && younger sister to shoplift. :P && yeah, we've stolen so much more worse shit than make up.>.< But that's what I got busted for. xP
Anyways when my dad came && started yelling what the hell was wrong with me, that's when I started to bawl, because I knew right then && there that the trust that was already 90% in breaking broke right then && there like a a pair of gigantic scissors cutting through I piece of already worn down string. I couldn't look at him at all.
The real cop finally showed up. && I knew from the llok in his eyes && how he was moving how he thought how fucking stupid I was :P I couldn't blame him. Anyways he started telling me all I could say was yes or no to my questions. I was crying so I couldn't really answer him all that clearly && like he had this earpiece on his ear that was telling him about another case with like a gun or something like that.
Anyways he checked my purse again && started going through my shit. He looked through the bag carrying all the dvds I borrowed from the library && he was all like 'SAW?!? ' && shook his head sking me if I really liked those type of movies. I couldn't but laugh a little, even if I knew it wasn't the time for that. When he was doing his pares or my papers I guess we talked about our favorite horror/brutal-esque movies. He told me his was a movie called Scarecrows.
After that he told me the consequences, how much I have to pay, etc. I have juvie court, community service, && banned or as my dad kept on saying, blacklisted from that Target. We have to pay 160$ && the amounts each of the 3 workers that worked there spent with me && yeah. It sucks.
You have no idea how fucking devestated my dad was. When we got to the car he was all asking me why. I couldn't say anything. I felt bad I really did. But then he started saying how I should become a normal teenager, not put on so much heavy makeup, bla bla. My nails should be cut && clean. Because he though that was the problem. He was dead wrong. But I didn't tell him that. I didn't tell him that his definitition for a normal teenager is 10000% wrong. Because I know he wont understand. He doesn't know that I dont want to be just a normal teenager. I've known to be able to stand out. && that makes me proud. Buthe'd just think I'm some kind of freak.
He told me how he was itching to beat me up right then && there, but we weren't in the Philippines where he could do whatever he pleased with me. He told me I had about 90% of moving back there. I really don't care though. Even if I moved, I know it wont really change anything.
I really do want to change though. I called Hannah && Lily. && God, I was so thankful for the words they told. They got my back && they'd look out for me, && for that, I'm beyond grateful.
But now, I'm grounded for weeks, maybe even months 'til my dad sees change. He told me this while cutting my nails himself :P I'm not even allowed in the computer right now, ut he's gone, so I'm making this quick. Anyways, I'm just gonna feel really lonely kinda. You know that feeling when everyone else is making plans, && that you know you wont be a part of it, no matter if they say i wish you could come? It's gonna feel like shit. :( I was suppose to go to the Britney Spears concert with Hannah in April, but I doubt I'll be able to. :/ I just really hope I wont loose anyone especially close to me, because of this. Being alone, is my biggest fear in this whole goddamn world. :/
God, this sucks. I know I deserve it, but jesus, it's gonna feel like shit.
My mom doesn't even know yet. My dad says he doesn't know what to tell her...I fell the same way. Even if my mom && I don't really see eye to eye, I hate seeing her devestated. I don't really care if she gets angry, because I deserve it. BUT I hate seeing her cry . But I know it's going to happen...
I live by not having regrets, but this one time, I wish I could have come back to yesterday && left the make up aisle alone...But too late now huh? I'll have to learn from this fucking canada sized mistake. && just hope that I will change, && that the people that promised to be there for me, will be there. Because Jesus, I need them a whole of a fucking lot right now.
I was just sitting there...looking at a target cop typing all my shit down on a computer, a woman that worked there, Yvette, I think her name was. Then there was the man that caught me inside the room with all the camera monitors. I started getting bored, so what'd I do? Start trying to make conversation. I was all like, 'Did you guys do this type of shit to when you were younger?' They all started laughing and smiling. && that's when I knew they did, but they kept denying it :P But for while all the tension died down.
Then they started calling my dad...Oh god. At first I guess he hung up not quite believing it. So I had to call Lily to call him back saying I got arrested. Lily couldn't believe it either! :P She's, I guess, my partner in crime. But like, I was the one that taught her to shoplift.. Hell, I was the one that influneced her older && younger sister to shoplift. :P && yeah, we've stolen so much more worse shit than make up.>.< But that's what I got busted for. xP
Anyways when my dad came && started yelling what the hell was wrong with me, that's when I started to bawl, because I knew right then && there that the trust that was already 90% in breaking broke right then && there like a a pair of gigantic scissors cutting through I piece of already worn down string. I couldn't look at him at all.
The real cop finally showed up. && I knew from the llok in his eyes && how he was moving how he thought how fucking stupid I was :P I couldn't blame him. Anyways he started telling me all I could say was yes or no to my questions. I was crying so I couldn't really answer him all that clearly && like he had this earpiece on his ear that was telling him about another case with like a gun or something like that.
Anyways he checked my purse again && started going through my shit. He looked through the bag carrying all the dvds I borrowed from the library && he was all like 'SAW?!? ' && shook his head sking me if I really liked those type of movies. I couldn't but laugh a little, even if I knew it wasn't the time for that. When he was doing his pares or my papers I guess we talked about our favorite horror/brutal-esque movies. He told me his was a movie called Scarecrows.
After that he told me the consequences, how much I have to pay, etc. I have juvie court, community service, && banned or as my dad kept on saying, blacklisted from that Target. We have to pay 160$ && the amounts each of the 3 workers that worked there spent with me && yeah. It sucks.
You have no idea how fucking devestated my dad was. When we got to the car he was all asking me why. I couldn't say anything. I felt bad I really did. But then he started saying how I should become a normal teenager, not put on so much heavy makeup, bla bla. My nails should be cut && clean. Because he though that was the problem. He was dead wrong. But I didn't tell him that. I didn't tell him that his definitition for a normal teenager is 10000% wrong. Because I know he wont understand. He doesn't know that I dont want to be just a normal teenager. I've known to be able to stand out. && that makes me proud. Buthe'd just think I'm some kind of freak.
He told me how he was itching to beat me up right then && there, but we weren't in the Philippines where he could do whatever he pleased with me. He told me I had about 90% of moving back there. I really don't care though. Even if I moved, I know it wont really change anything.
I really do want to change though. I called Hannah && Lily. && God, I was so thankful for the words they told. They got my back && they'd look out for me, && for that, I'm beyond grateful.
But now, I'm grounded for weeks, maybe even months 'til my dad sees change. He told me this while cutting my nails himself :P I'm not even allowed in the computer right now, ut he's gone, so I'm making this quick. Anyways, I'm just gonna feel really lonely kinda. You know that feeling when everyone else is making plans, && that you know you wont be a part of it, no matter if they say i wish you could come? It's gonna feel like shit. :( I was suppose to go to the Britney Spears concert with Hannah in April, but I doubt I'll be able to. :/ I just really hope I wont loose anyone especially close to me, because of this. Being alone, is my biggest fear in this whole goddamn world. :/
God, this sucks. I know I deserve it, but jesus, it's gonna feel like shit.
My mom doesn't even know yet. My dad says he doesn't know what to tell her...I fell the same way. Even if my mom && I don't really see eye to eye, I hate seeing her devestated. I don't really care if she gets angry, because I deserve it. BUT I hate seeing her cry . But I know it's going to happen...
I live by not having regrets, but this one time, I wish I could have come back to yesterday && left the make up aisle alone...But too late now huh? I'll have to learn from this fucking canada sized mistake. && just hope that I will change, && that the people that promised to be there for me, will be there. Because Jesus, I need them a whole of a fucking lot right now.