(no subject)
I wasn't ready for this. I don't really know what the problem was, but I wasn't ready for it. I went with my parents for lunch at the China Inn buffet. I was trying to forget what was going on, and in walks Emily and Kim. I looked up and saw her walking in the door and we made eye contact and I looked away quickly without saying anything or smiling or waving or anything. I really wish I didn't do that. I wish it didn't happen like that, but I was caught off guard and the pain hit me like a brick and looking away was all I had. When I left I tried waving at them, and I got a little smile from Emily which I think was forced and a really uncomfortable look from Kim. I guess I should have expected that after last night...I didn't want it to be this way...It's all running down hill so fast...I can't seem to stop and I'm not sure I want to anymore...Whether or not she felt it, the love of my life has left me and I can't rid myself of the pain...