The World of Avatar, this evening, sham-on!
BOOK THREE:
FIRE
CHAPTER SEVEN:
THE RUNAWAY
Sokka and Aang crept through the deserted town, looking around carefully. Something definitely wasn't right.
Katara had been all motherly and a big spoilsport lately, sternly disapproving of Toph's wild and not-entirely-legal schemes to make money, and being all, well, Katara. They'd all called her out on it, she'd had a hissy fit, there'd been ZOMGDRAMA, and this morning had kinda sucked.
The thing was, Sokka really appreciated that Katara was so motherly and responsible and such a spoilsport. He relied on it. Her and him were like Yin and Yang, push and pull, Tui and La, and they kept each other -- and the group -- in balance. So, when she'd decided to pull the mother of all scams with Toph, it had completely thrown everything out of whack.
The plan was simple: Toph's parents were offering a reward for her return, since they were rich, and she'd run away from home to join Team Avatar. Katara was going to turn her in for the money, and then Toph would escape, and they'd have all that beautiful reward money. It was dangerous, especially now that the crazy guy with the metal leg who could blow things up WITH HIS MIND was after them, but... well, Katara had something to prove.
It had taken entirely too long, so Aang and Sokka were coming to rescue them. And the entire town was now deserted. If that didn't scream "trap", then... no, it pretty much screamed "trap".
"Sokka, watch out!!!" Aang shouted suddenly. "It's Sparky-Sparky Boom-Boom Man!!!"
After they'd dodged the explosion, Sokka frowned. He'd come UP with the nickname, sure, but... "You know, I'm starting to think that name doesn't quite fit."
The man fired at them again -- a beam of some sort coming from the third-eye tattoo on his forehead and blowing up what he was aiming at -- and they dodged behind a cart. It didn't offer MUCH cover, but it was better than nothing.
"This guy is too good!" Sokka wailed. "He shoots fire from his brain!"
And then Sokka sensed a disturbance in the Force, as if a million souls shrieked out in inhumanly high-pitched, yet incredibly AWESOME shrieks of pain and sorrow.
And the cart exploded.
The dust and smoke swirled, and Sokka stepped out of it wearing his purple fedora and a single white sequined glove.
Your butt is mine
Gonna take you right
Just Show Your Face
In broad daylight
I'm telling you
On how I feel
Gonna hurt your mind
Don't shoot to kill
Sham On, Sham On,
Lay it on me, all right...
The bad guy -- what about "Combustion Man"? Did that work? -- shot another blast at Sokka, but he easily moonwalked out of the way, and then spun around. Aang stared at him, jaw hanging wide.
Sokka marched towards Combustion Man, his eyes gleaming. More blasts came at him, but his joints seemed superhumanly flexible, and his jerky dance moves carried him safely through the explosions without being touched.
Just beat it, beat it, beat it, beat it
No one wants to be defeated
Showin' how funky and strong is your fight
It doesn't matter who's wrong or right
Just beat it!
The man -- who, by the way, had a metal FIST in addition to his metal leg -- swung a heavy right hook at Sokka, who dropped into a split. He overbalanced and fell over, letting Sokka come in with some punches of his own.
Annie are you ok?
So, Annie are you ok?
Are you ok Annie?
You've been hit by -- *punch*
You've been struck by -- *punch* -- a smooth criminal.
Combustion Man kicked out, getting in his first real hit of the fight and sending Sokka flying. Aang joined the fray with a flurry of Airbending attacks while Sokka struck a wall and crumpled into a heap.
The way you make me feel
You really turn me on
You knock me off of my feet
My lone-e-ly days are gone
Acha-ooh!
Sokka slowly climbed to his feet. Somewhere nearby, Katara was Waterbending her own sweat to break out of the cage she and Toph were trapped in. Aang finished off a volley of wind gusts that knocked Combustion Man back and landed beside Sokka.
Sokka thrust a fist into the air and shrieked, "WOO!", and the ground near Combustion Man exploded, knocking him back.
Sokka advanced a few steps, with Aang just behind him, and then thrust his fist up again. "Hoo-hoo!" Another explosion rained gravel on the badguy, who scrambled backward.
A few steps more, another fist in the air. "Woo! Woo! Woo!" Three more explosions.
Somehow, Combustion Man found his footing, and sent a blast at Sokka and Aang. It missed them, but completely shattered the ginormous statue of Fire Lord Ozai in the town center. With rocky, rocky death about to rain down upon them, Sokka and Aang stood firm. Sokka tipped his hat forward, and time froze.
Well, okay, TIME didn't freeze, but Toph had just showed up and stopped all the fragments of statue from falling, and them just hanging in the air like that looked damn cool.
Aang, Katara, and Toph fell in behind Sokka, Aang and Toph Earthbended the falling rubble into humanoid shapes to fill out their ranks, and all four of them and the new rock army all started dancing in unison.
'Cause this is thriller, thriller night
There ain't no second chance against the thing with forty eyes
You know it's thriller, thriller night
You're fighting to survive inside a killer, thriller tonight
Sokka thrust a fist in the air again, and Aang and Toph threw their arms forward, turning the rock soldiers back into rubble and sending it all flying at Combustion Man. Most of it missed, but one small rock struck him directly on his third-eye tattoo, knocking him unconscious.
Team Avatar walked by where he lay, strutting proudly, and Sokka turned around and tipped his hat.
And the whole world has to answer right now
Just to tell you once again...
Who's bad?
[NFI, NFB. Stolen and modified from episode 307 of Avatar. Dance-fighting medley inspired by current events.]