AU fic: Without you... (16/20)
TITLE: Without you…
AUTHOR: sapphicwarrior
PAIRING: Callie/Erica
RATING: NC-1. warning: there is domestic abuse in this story!
DISCLAIMER: All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libellous, defamatory, or in any way factual.
SUMMARY: This is AU, it’s been in my head for a while. A famous singer falls in love with a woman. It’s a love that is looked upon and has to happen secretly until something happens…
BETA: Thanks for my wonderful beta mar_chel !!
Links to previous parts:
part 1: sapphicwarrior.livejournal.com/35601.html
part 2: sapphicwarrior.livejournal.com/36180.html
part 3: sapphicwarrior.livejournal.com/36754.html
part 4: sapphicwarrior.livejournal.com/37565.html
part 5: sapphicwarrior.livejournal.com/38211.html
part 6: sapphicwarrior.livejournal.com/39663.html
part 7: sapphicwarrior.livejournal.com/40086.html
part 8: sapphicwarrior.livejournal.com/40970.html
part 9: sapphicwarrior.livejournal.com/41401.html
part 10: sapphicwarrior.livejournal.com/42314.html
part 11: sapphicwarrior.livejournal.com/42829.html
part 12: sapphicwarrior.livejournal.com/43757.html
part 13: sapphicwarrior.livejournal.com/44617.html
part 14: sapphicwarrior.livejournal.com/46779.html
part 15: sapphicwarrior.livejournal.com/47260.html
NEW PART:
After Callie had seen her mom off at the airport, she had gotten a certain routine in her life. Carlos had given her the exact date to go to New York, so she had started practising for the two shows she’d be giving there. The tickets to those shows were almost sold out, so she had to be at her best. She was going to bring a mix of her older songs together with songs of her new album. Every morning and afternoon she’d meet Carlos and the dancers to rehearse for the show. She’d meet Jason for a quick lunch, but her evenings were for Erica. Every evening she’d spent together with Erica. They’d go out for dinner, or order take out and watch a movie together. Her evenings were her favourite moment of the day. She cherished those evenings with Erica. Things between her and Erica were a bit strained at first, shortly after she started seeing Jason again, but they both had adapted by now and their friendship was back to how it was before they kissed. The attraction was still there, but they both managed to hide it. What neither knew, was that in the privacy of their own room, tears were often shed for the other.
Erica had found out more about Jason and that was disturbing her. She had once followed him after one of his lunches with Callie because she had heard him say he couldn’t stay long because of a meeting he had. The meeting had been with a drug dealer who was also doing business with Rodríguez. She hadn’t been able to get close enough to hear what was being said, but she did take lots of pictures to send to Headquarters. Seemed like Jason was really getting into this cartel with Rodríguez. She had to get Jason out of this cartel soon or she’d have to get Callie away from Jason before he got in way over his head. Callie’s life would be in danger if Jason got into this cartel even deeper.
Other than that, Jason had kept fairly quiet. Erica didn’t like that. It was like a quiet before the storm, a feeling she had that something would happen soon. She wished he’d do something stupid so that she could arrest him and get this case over with. She didn’t know how much longer she could hide from Callie who she really was. She felt awful for lying to her like this. She felt like she was using Callie to get to Jason, or even the other way around: using Jason in order to be close to Callie.
She had thought long and hard whether she wanted to accompany Callie to NYC or not. Again her heart almost stopped when she thought of all the alone time she’d be having with Callie. Jason would be nowhere around, it would just be her, Callie and Carlos unfortunately. But Carlos would only be there during Callie’s interviews and shows, so in between, it was just her and Callie. Her mind on the other hand firmly said no, that it would complicate things further if she went with Callie. And she knew it was right, only trouble could come if she went with Callie to NYC, but slowly her heart was taking over her mind, like her heart was preparing a coup on her mind and soon her heart would be the only ruler.
Erica had never been one to listen to her heart, but maybe for once, she just should listen. It didn’t look like there’d be a break through with Jason anytime soon, so why not accompany Callie to NYC?
They were spending another evening together. They had ordered take out and were now enjoying some Chinese food.
“How are things with Jason?” Erica tried to casually ask Callie between two bites.
“Okay, I guess”, Callie shrugged. “He’s so … I don’t know. He keeps calling me ‘honey’ all the time and he’s super sweet. Frankly it’s getting on my nerves. It’s exaggerated, really.”
“Oh.”
“It’s forced sometimes, that’s why I don’t like it. It’s not spontaneous. He never was like this. Like I said, it’s exaggerated.”
“You know, I’ve been thinking about NYC…” Erica started.
“Can you come?” Callie excitedly asked.
When Erica saw Callie’s smile and the hopeful gaze in her eyes, she knew she had made the right decision.
“Yes, I can come, Cal”, Erica smiled.
“Awesome!” Callie beamed. She was so glad Erica could come. At night, she had already imagined romantic evenings with Erica in NYC, strolling under the moonlight at Trafalgar Square, or enjoying a lazy afternoon in Central Parks, or a romantic evening out at a Broadway show. She couldn’t wait to leave.
***************************************************************************
“What do you mean I can’t come to NYC with you?” Jason angrily said. His girlfriend had just told him he couldn’t come to NYC with her.
“I’m there to work, Jason, it’s not some holiday”, she said. That wasn’t a complete lie, but it wasn’t the whole truth either. In between her appointments, she’d have plenty of free time and she didn’t want to spend them with Jason.
“Can’t I come over for a few days? When you’re free?”
“No!” Callie quickly said. “That’s a waste of money, Jason. I really need to focus during this trip. I’m doing promotion for my new album.”
“So, you say I distract you?”
“Uhm… yes”, Callie carefully said.
“But in a good way”, she quickly added. “I can’t concentrate when you are around, you know, you being all sexy”, she purred.
“God, this is horrible”, Callie thought as she got closer to Jason and gave him a seductive smile. Now he’d definitely would get ideas in his head.
“Is that true?” Jason huskily said.
Callie nodded. He closed the gap between them and kissed Callie. The kiss was rough. Callie tried her best to block out all thoughts during the kiss. Jason put his hand under Callie’s shirt and started caressing Callie’s body.
“Uh…Jason… stop it, you know what we agreed on”, Callie tried to stop him.
“I know, but I want you so badly”, Jason groaned.
When they had agreed to start over after Callie’s last beating from Jason, one of Callie’s conditions was that they’d “really” start over, so without jumping into sex immediately. Callie gave him the excuse she first wanted to date him again and learn to trust him. Jason accepted that explanation. Of course Callie had an entirely different reason for not wanting to have sex with Jason. The reason has had blond curly hair and beautiful blue eyes.
“I know, but we both agreed on this and we are not ready yet”, Callie said. “Don’t think I’ll ever be ready again to have sex with you”, she added in afterthought.
Reluctantly, Jason pulled away. “I don’t know how much longer I can go on like this, Callie. We are in a relationship and people who are in a relationship tend to have sex, you know.”
“You agreed to start over, Jason. And like I said, starting over for me means not jumping into bed too soon. I want our relationship being built on something else besides sex”, Callie lied. She didn’t want a relationship with Jason built on anything at all. She hoped she would have broken up with him before she got to the point again where she’d have to have sex with him.
“Fine”, Jason grumbled, not liking Calliope’s reasoning at all. Sex was one of the reasons he was with her. She’s a tiger in bed and he wanted that back. Being with Calliope without having any sex, was useless in his opinion. Women were only good to please men. But he had to be patient, he still needed her for his drug operation.
“So, who’s coming with you to NYC? I don’t want you going alone there”, Jason said.
“Well, there’s Carlos, the dancers of course and Erica.”
The moment Callie mentioned Erica’s name, she knew she had made a mistake. Callie saw anger flare on his face for a second. Fear gripped her heart.
“That bitch is coming and I can’t?” Jason angrily said.
“Her name is Erica and I want you to call her that. Yes, she’s coming. She’s my bodyguard, Jason, so yes, she’s coming”, Callie tried to say calmly. Her heart was beating in her throat. What if Jason attacked her again? She was alone with him in the house. Erica had gone to her apartment. She tried to hide her fear from him.
“I don’t trust her.”
“Well, I do. End of discussion, Jason.”
When Jason had left her house, Callie let out a breath she hadn’t realized she had been holding. She didn’t know how long she’d be able to hold out the sex on Jason. Luckily she was about to leave for New York with Erica. She was pretty sure she wouldn’t be able to hold out on sex with Erica either. She craved Erica’s touch, her kiss, her caressing, the way Erica had moaned her name.
She promised herself she’d take a decision after New York.
************************************************************************
Erica had told Callie she had to check on her apartment, but instead she was on her way to the FBI Office in Los Angeles. She had to make arrangements for her investigation in case something happened while she was in New York with Callie. Agent Darnett had agreed to meet her at lunch to discuss the case.
“Agent Hahn, good afternoon, how are you?” Darnett friendly greeted his fellow agent.
“I’m fine. Thank you for meeting me on such short notice.”
“No problem at all. What can I help you with?”
Erica explained her absence to him. She left out some parts which he didn’t need to know.
“So would it be possible to follow up on Jason while I’m gone? I don’t think anything will happen. He’s been relatively quiet these last weeks. Besides the meeting with Rodríguez I sent you pictures about, nothing happened. If anything should happen, you can reach me on my cell 24 hours a day and I can always come back immediately.”
“That shouldn’t be a problem, Agent Hahn. You already briefed us on the situation Jason Taylor is in, so if necessary, we can intervene.”
“I think that in our absence he might try to get into Callie’s house. He still has those drugs in the medicine cabinet. I’d appreciate if you could keep an eye on the house now and then and should you see anything suspicious, call me.”
“No problem, Agent Hahn.”
“Thank you very much for your help, Agent Darnett.”
“With pleasure. Have a nice day.”
“You too.”
Erica had a nagging feeling when she left the building, like her mind was trying to tell her something, but because of the coup her heart was doing, she didn’t pay attention to that nagging feeling…
**************************************************************************
“Are you ready for the trip?” Carlos asked Callie. He had noticed that at the last rehearsal of the show she had seemed very nervous.
“Yes, of course I am ready, Carlos. This is a great opportunity! I love New York. I get on 3 of the most favourite talk shows at the moment and my two shows are completely sold out. So yes, I’m ready”, Callie smiled.
She was ready to leave for New York. Her new album would be released tomorrow and already the press spoke of one of the best pop albums ever made. Already in pre-sale she had broken a record. This album would be a huge success and it thrilled her.
“Good. I think you will break all records with this album, Calliope. The fans love it.”
Callie beamed. She was going to love this trip to New York. Not only would she to what she loved most: singing; but Erica was coming with her.
***********************************************************************
They were leaving tomorrow for New York. Callie had finished packing all her things and she was now knocking on Erica’s door.
“Come in.”
“Hey, are you ready with packing?” Callie asked.
“I guess so”, Erica shrugged. “I have no idea what to take with me. I’ve never really accompanied a famous singer to concerts and interviews.”
“You don’t have to take anything special, you know. Just whatever you like to wear. Just remember it gets colder on the East Coast than it is here.”
“I know. I’m from the East Coast, remember?”
“Oh yeah, that’s true, I forgot that.”
Callie went to sit on the bed.
“You okay, Cal? You seem a bit troubled”, Erica asked. She went to sit beside Callie.
“I’m fine, Erica, really.”
“Jason didn’t do anything, did he?” Erica worriedly asked.
“No, he didn’t do anything. He’s been super sweet lately, too sweet actually. I think I’ll break up with him when I get back from New York. I can’t bear his touch anymore, I can’t lie to him anymore. I don’t care what he threatens me with, I just can’t live a lie anymore”, Callie sighed.
“Are you sure?”
Callie nodded. “Yes, I’m gay, Erica, I realize that now, you made me realize that and I just can’t be together with him anymore. He keeps wanting to have sex with me, but… God… just the thought alone makes me all… aggrrrh. I’m sure, very sure. Also, I’d like to give us a chance.”
“Don’t break up with him for me, Callie.”
Callie turned to look at Erica. “You don’t want to give us a chance?”
“I didn’t say that, Callie.” How could she explain to Callie that there would never be an “us”, not when Callie would find out about her undercover operation. Would Callie still feel gay when she hated Erica for what she had done to her?
“Then what do you mean, Erica? I thought you’d be happy”, Callie confusedly said.
“Are you sure you are a lesbian? You’ve only been with one woman, Cal. I’m not judging you, but I don’t want you to take any rash decision. That has nothing to do with Jason. He’s an asshole and you are right to break up with him”, Erica tried explaining.
“Erica, I’ve done a lot of thinking these last weeks. I’ve gone over events that happened in my past and I came to the conclusion that being gay has always been a part of me. But until recently it was a part I unwillingly chose to ignore. I didn’t pay attention to all the signs, I didn’t want to see them. When I was 16 I didn’t want to see I was head over heels in love with my English teacher. I didn’t want to see why I loved the movie “Flashdance” so much and it wasn’t for the great dance moves, you know, Jennifer Beals was a big part of why I loved the movie so much. And why I even saw some episodes of the L-Word, now that I think of it. I can go on like this for a while, Erica. This isn’t a rash decision. Yes, you made me realize I’m gay, but it’s been part of me for years”, Callie said. “I just didn’t want to see it.”
She took Erica’s hands in hers. “But I do see it now, Erica”, she softly said. “I see it now and I’m not ignoring it anymore.”
She desperately wanted to kiss Erica. Her feelings for the blonde woman were growing stronger every day. She didn’t know how much longer she’d be able to stay just friends with Erica.
***************************************************************************
After a smooth flight they landed at La Guardia Airport. Carlos had already flown to New York a few days earlier to do some last minute preparations. So Callie and Erica were able to enjoy some time alone.
Erica had noticed that some people had already recognized Callie.
“Cal, everyone is looking at you”, Erica commented.
“Oh, really?” Callie hadn’t really noticed it. She was used to people looking at her.
“Yes, really. I never noticed that in LA.”
“Probably because LA is full of famous people. Also it’s well known I arrive in New York today for a series of interviews and shows.”
Just before they exited the airport, Callie noticed the paparazzi.
“You might want to get in bodyguard mode, Erica, it’s full of paparazzi outside”, Callie quickly said before dashing into the madness.
“Paparazzi? Shit.” Like Callie, Erica pulled her cap deeper over her head and she quickly put on her sunglasses.
“Luckily it’s fashionable to wear sunglasses that hide the half of your face”, Erica thought as she guided Callie through the mass of photographers.
In Erica’s mind it took them forever to get free of all the paparazzi. Carlos had agreed to meet them at the airport and drive them to the hotel. Erica had never been more glad to see him. She quickly pushed Callie into the car and quickly followed herself.
“That was madness, Cal”, Erica sighed. “Pure madness.”
She hoped she wasn’t on too many pictures and if she was, she hoped the cap and the big sunglasses had proved enough of a disguise. She couldn’t take the chance of being recognized.
“I know, Erica.”
“How was your flight, ladies?” Carlos asked.
“Great”, Callie said. “How far is it to the hotel?”
“Not too far, but you know New York traffic, so it might take a while.”
And it did take a while indeed. Finally after what seemed like forever, Callie was able to relax in her room. Luckily at the hotel there weren’t any paparazzi, yet, so they got checked in pretty quickly. Carlos had arranged for 2 communicating rooms for Callie and Erica and neither was complaining about that.
Callie was so glad to finally be in New York. Maybe a change of scenery would be good for her. It might give her a chance to see things in a different perspective. And spending two weeks in the company of Erica would be pure heaven; but it might also be pure torture now that she thought about it.
Just as Callie was about close her eyes a bit to rest, her cell phone rang.
“Jason, how are you?” she greeted him.
“I’m fine, Calliope, and you?”
“Tired, I was just going to get some rest”, Callie yawned into the phone.
“I’m calling to let you know that I’ll be out of town for the next couple of days. I’ll call you when I get back.”
“Sure, no problem. Have fun.”
“Thanks. Bye.”
So Jason was going on one of his trips again. Callie didn’t mind. For all she cared, he could stay wherever he went on his trips. She had made up her mind and she was going to break up with him when she got back to LA.
After a short nap she woke up refreshed and feeling much better. She hated flying. It made her tired and restless at the same time. She wondered how Erica was doing. She checked her watch. She had been asleep for 2 hours. She gently knocked on Erica’s door.
Erica was watching some television when she heard the knock on her door.
“Come in.”
“Hey, I didn’t wake you, did I?”
“No, you didn’t. I was watching some television. You looked tired, so I figured you’d be sleeping a bit”, Erica said, shutting down the television.
“I did sleep a bit. Flying makes me so tired.” Callie went to sit beside Erica. “Jason called me. He’s going on one of his trips again.”
“He is?”
“Damn it”, Erica cursed. “Why does he have to go on a trip now?”
Callie nodded. “He wanted me to know he wouldn’t call me the next couple of days. Not that I care.”
“At least he let you know”, Erica commented. “What’s your schedule for tomorrow?”
“Nothing much. I have to check out the concert room I’ll be giving my concerts. I’ll probably do some sound checking too. I’ll be really busy the day after though. I have some interviews with magazines then.” Callie hesitated a bit before continuing. “Will you come with me? I’d like you to come, Erica.”
Callie shyly looked at Erica. “Of course, I’ll come, Callie. You don’t even have to ask that. I didn’t accompany you to New York to leave you alone all day, you know.”
“I’m glad you came, Erica.”
“I’m glad I came too.”
They looked at each other. Their eyes connected and for a few seconds, they were lost in the turmoil of their emotions: the lust, the passion, the confusion. Erica was the first to avert her gaze.
“You want to grab some dinner together?”
“Yes, I’m a bit hungry. I’ll freshen up a bit in my room. Let’s meet in 45 minutes.”
“Great.”
From the moment Callie had left Erica’s room, she took out her cell phone and called Agent Darnett.
“Agent Darnett, I just got news from Callie that Jason is going away again. Is there any chance one of you can put some tracking device on his car or follow him to see where he’s going? My guess is back to Mexico though”, Erica explained.
“We were already discretely following him, so it’s not surprise he’s going to Mexico. He’s been in daily touch with other guys from the cartel. He’s probably going to Mexico to finalize things with Rodríguez”, Agent Darnett told his colleague.
“I hope he does something stupid soon so that we can arrest him and throw him in jail”, Erica said.
“Me too, I’ll keep you up to date on any changes.”
“Thanks, Agent Darnett.”
What Erica didn’t know is that Jason would indeed do something stupid, just not drug related like she had in mind…
AUTHOR: sapphicwarrior
PAIRING: Callie/Erica
RATING: NC-1. warning: there is domestic abuse in this story!
DISCLAIMER: All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libellous, defamatory, or in any way factual.
SUMMARY: This is AU, it’s been in my head for a while. A famous singer falls in love with a woman. It’s a love that is looked upon and has to happen secretly until something happens…
BETA: Thanks for my wonderful beta mar_chel !!
Links to previous parts:
part 1: sapphicwarrior.livejournal.com/35601.html
part 2: sapphicwarrior.livejournal.com/36180.html
part 3: sapphicwarrior.livejournal.com/36754.html
part 4: sapphicwarrior.livejournal.com/37565.html
part 5: sapphicwarrior.livejournal.com/38211.html
part 6: sapphicwarrior.livejournal.com/39663.html
part 7: sapphicwarrior.livejournal.com/40086.html
part 8: sapphicwarrior.livejournal.com/40970.html
part 9: sapphicwarrior.livejournal.com/41401.html
part 10: sapphicwarrior.livejournal.com/42314.html
part 11: sapphicwarrior.livejournal.com/42829.html
part 12: sapphicwarrior.livejournal.com/43757.html
part 13: sapphicwarrior.livejournal.com/44617.html
part 14: sapphicwarrior.livejournal.com/46779.html
part 15: sapphicwarrior.livejournal.com/47260.html
NEW PART:
After Callie had seen her mom off at the airport, she had gotten a certain routine in her life. Carlos had given her the exact date to go to New York, so she had started practising for the two shows she’d be giving there. The tickets to those shows were almost sold out, so she had to be at her best. She was going to bring a mix of her older songs together with songs of her new album. Every morning and afternoon she’d meet Carlos and the dancers to rehearse for the show. She’d meet Jason for a quick lunch, but her evenings were for Erica. Every evening she’d spent together with Erica. They’d go out for dinner, or order take out and watch a movie together. Her evenings were her favourite moment of the day. She cherished those evenings with Erica. Things between her and Erica were a bit strained at first, shortly after she started seeing Jason again, but they both had adapted by now and their friendship was back to how it was before they kissed. The attraction was still there, but they both managed to hide it. What neither knew, was that in the privacy of their own room, tears were often shed for the other.
Erica had found out more about Jason and that was disturbing her. She had once followed him after one of his lunches with Callie because she had heard him say he couldn’t stay long because of a meeting he had. The meeting had been with a drug dealer who was also doing business with Rodríguez. She hadn’t been able to get close enough to hear what was being said, but she did take lots of pictures to send to Headquarters. Seemed like Jason was really getting into this cartel with Rodríguez. She had to get Jason out of this cartel soon or she’d have to get Callie away from Jason before he got in way over his head. Callie’s life would be in danger if Jason got into this cartel even deeper.
Other than that, Jason had kept fairly quiet. Erica didn’t like that. It was like a quiet before the storm, a feeling she had that something would happen soon. She wished he’d do something stupid so that she could arrest him and get this case over with. She didn’t know how much longer she could hide from Callie who she really was. She felt awful for lying to her like this. She felt like she was using Callie to get to Jason, or even the other way around: using Jason in order to be close to Callie.
She had thought long and hard whether she wanted to accompany Callie to NYC or not. Again her heart almost stopped when she thought of all the alone time she’d be having with Callie. Jason would be nowhere around, it would just be her, Callie and Carlos unfortunately. But Carlos would only be there during Callie’s interviews and shows, so in between, it was just her and Callie. Her mind on the other hand firmly said no, that it would complicate things further if she went with Callie. And she knew it was right, only trouble could come if she went with Callie to NYC, but slowly her heart was taking over her mind, like her heart was preparing a coup on her mind and soon her heart would be the only ruler.
Erica had never been one to listen to her heart, but maybe for once, she just should listen. It didn’t look like there’d be a break through with Jason anytime soon, so why not accompany Callie to NYC?
They were spending another evening together. They had ordered take out and were now enjoying some Chinese food.
“How are things with Jason?” Erica tried to casually ask Callie between two bites.
“Okay, I guess”, Callie shrugged. “He’s so … I don’t know. He keeps calling me ‘honey’ all the time and he’s super sweet. Frankly it’s getting on my nerves. It’s exaggerated, really.”
“Oh.”
“It’s forced sometimes, that’s why I don’t like it. It’s not spontaneous. He never was like this. Like I said, it’s exaggerated.”
“You know, I’ve been thinking about NYC…” Erica started.
“Can you come?” Callie excitedly asked.
When Erica saw Callie’s smile and the hopeful gaze in her eyes, she knew she had made the right decision.
“Yes, I can come, Cal”, Erica smiled.
“Awesome!” Callie beamed. She was so glad Erica could come. At night, she had already imagined romantic evenings with Erica in NYC, strolling under the moonlight at Trafalgar Square, or enjoying a lazy afternoon in Central Parks, or a romantic evening out at a Broadway show. She couldn’t wait to leave.
***************************************************************************
“What do you mean I can’t come to NYC with you?” Jason angrily said. His girlfriend had just told him he couldn’t come to NYC with her.
“I’m there to work, Jason, it’s not some holiday”, she said. That wasn’t a complete lie, but it wasn’t the whole truth either. In between her appointments, she’d have plenty of free time and she didn’t want to spend them with Jason.
“Can’t I come over for a few days? When you’re free?”
“No!” Callie quickly said. “That’s a waste of money, Jason. I really need to focus during this trip. I’m doing promotion for my new album.”
“So, you say I distract you?”
“Uhm… yes”, Callie carefully said.
“But in a good way”, she quickly added. “I can’t concentrate when you are around, you know, you being all sexy”, she purred.
“God, this is horrible”, Callie thought as she got closer to Jason and gave him a seductive smile. Now he’d definitely would get ideas in his head.
“Is that true?” Jason huskily said.
Callie nodded. He closed the gap between them and kissed Callie. The kiss was rough. Callie tried her best to block out all thoughts during the kiss. Jason put his hand under Callie’s shirt and started caressing Callie’s body.
“Uh…Jason… stop it, you know what we agreed on”, Callie tried to stop him.
“I know, but I want you so badly”, Jason groaned.
When they had agreed to start over after Callie’s last beating from Jason, one of Callie’s conditions was that they’d “really” start over, so without jumping into sex immediately. Callie gave him the excuse she first wanted to date him again and learn to trust him. Jason accepted that explanation. Of course Callie had an entirely different reason for not wanting to have sex with Jason. The reason has had blond curly hair and beautiful blue eyes.
“I know, but we both agreed on this and we are not ready yet”, Callie said. “Don’t think I’ll ever be ready again to have sex with you”, she added in afterthought.
Reluctantly, Jason pulled away. “I don’t know how much longer I can go on like this, Callie. We are in a relationship and people who are in a relationship tend to have sex, you know.”
“You agreed to start over, Jason. And like I said, starting over for me means not jumping into bed too soon. I want our relationship being built on something else besides sex”, Callie lied. She didn’t want a relationship with Jason built on anything at all. She hoped she would have broken up with him before she got to the point again where she’d have to have sex with him.
“Fine”, Jason grumbled, not liking Calliope’s reasoning at all. Sex was one of the reasons he was with her. She’s a tiger in bed and he wanted that back. Being with Calliope without having any sex, was useless in his opinion. Women were only good to please men. But he had to be patient, he still needed her for his drug operation.
“So, who’s coming with you to NYC? I don’t want you going alone there”, Jason said.
“Well, there’s Carlos, the dancers of course and Erica.”
The moment Callie mentioned Erica’s name, she knew she had made a mistake. Callie saw anger flare on his face for a second. Fear gripped her heart.
“That bitch is coming and I can’t?” Jason angrily said.
“Her name is Erica and I want you to call her that. Yes, she’s coming. She’s my bodyguard, Jason, so yes, she’s coming”, Callie tried to say calmly. Her heart was beating in her throat. What if Jason attacked her again? She was alone with him in the house. Erica had gone to her apartment. She tried to hide her fear from him.
“I don’t trust her.”
“Well, I do. End of discussion, Jason.”
When Jason had left her house, Callie let out a breath she hadn’t realized she had been holding. She didn’t know how long she’d be able to hold out the sex on Jason. Luckily she was about to leave for New York with Erica. She was pretty sure she wouldn’t be able to hold out on sex with Erica either. She craved Erica’s touch, her kiss, her caressing, the way Erica had moaned her name.
She promised herself she’d take a decision after New York.
************************************************************************
Erica had told Callie she had to check on her apartment, but instead she was on her way to the FBI Office in Los Angeles. She had to make arrangements for her investigation in case something happened while she was in New York with Callie. Agent Darnett had agreed to meet her at lunch to discuss the case.
“Agent Hahn, good afternoon, how are you?” Darnett friendly greeted his fellow agent.
“I’m fine. Thank you for meeting me on such short notice.”
“No problem at all. What can I help you with?”
Erica explained her absence to him. She left out some parts which he didn’t need to know.
“So would it be possible to follow up on Jason while I’m gone? I don’t think anything will happen. He’s been relatively quiet these last weeks. Besides the meeting with Rodríguez I sent you pictures about, nothing happened. If anything should happen, you can reach me on my cell 24 hours a day and I can always come back immediately.”
“That shouldn’t be a problem, Agent Hahn. You already briefed us on the situation Jason Taylor is in, so if necessary, we can intervene.”
“I think that in our absence he might try to get into Callie’s house. He still has those drugs in the medicine cabinet. I’d appreciate if you could keep an eye on the house now and then and should you see anything suspicious, call me.”
“No problem, Agent Hahn.”
“Thank you very much for your help, Agent Darnett.”
“With pleasure. Have a nice day.”
“You too.”
Erica had a nagging feeling when she left the building, like her mind was trying to tell her something, but because of the coup her heart was doing, she didn’t pay attention to that nagging feeling…
**************************************************************************
“Are you ready for the trip?” Carlos asked Callie. He had noticed that at the last rehearsal of the show she had seemed very nervous.
“Yes, of course I am ready, Carlos. This is a great opportunity! I love New York. I get on 3 of the most favourite talk shows at the moment and my two shows are completely sold out. So yes, I’m ready”, Callie smiled.
She was ready to leave for New York. Her new album would be released tomorrow and already the press spoke of one of the best pop albums ever made. Already in pre-sale she had broken a record. This album would be a huge success and it thrilled her.
“Good. I think you will break all records with this album, Calliope. The fans love it.”
Callie beamed. She was going to love this trip to New York. Not only would she to what she loved most: singing; but Erica was coming with her.
***********************************************************************
They were leaving tomorrow for New York. Callie had finished packing all her things and she was now knocking on Erica’s door.
“Come in.”
“Hey, are you ready with packing?” Callie asked.
“I guess so”, Erica shrugged. “I have no idea what to take with me. I’ve never really accompanied a famous singer to concerts and interviews.”
“You don’t have to take anything special, you know. Just whatever you like to wear. Just remember it gets colder on the East Coast than it is here.”
“I know. I’m from the East Coast, remember?”
“Oh yeah, that’s true, I forgot that.”
Callie went to sit on the bed.
“You okay, Cal? You seem a bit troubled”, Erica asked. She went to sit beside Callie.
“I’m fine, Erica, really.”
“Jason didn’t do anything, did he?” Erica worriedly asked.
“No, he didn’t do anything. He’s been super sweet lately, too sweet actually. I think I’ll break up with him when I get back from New York. I can’t bear his touch anymore, I can’t lie to him anymore. I don’t care what he threatens me with, I just can’t live a lie anymore”, Callie sighed.
“Are you sure?”
Callie nodded. “Yes, I’m gay, Erica, I realize that now, you made me realize that and I just can’t be together with him anymore. He keeps wanting to have sex with me, but… God… just the thought alone makes me all… aggrrrh. I’m sure, very sure. Also, I’d like to give us a chance.”
“Don’t break up with him for me, Callie.”
Callie turned to look at Erica. “You don’t want to give us a chance?”
“I didn’t say that, Callie.” How could she explain to Callie that there would never be an “us”, not when Callie would find out about her undercover operation. Would Callie still feel gay when she hated Erica for what she had done to her?
“Then what do you mean, Erica? I thought you’d be happy”, Callie confusedly said.
“Are you sure you are a lesbian? You’ve only been with one woman, Cal. I’m not judging you, but I don’t want you to take any rash decision. That has nothing to do with Jason. He’s an asshole and you are right to break up with him”, Erica tried explaining.
“Erica, I’ve done a lot of thinking these last weeks. I’ve gone over events that happened in my past and I came to the conclusion that being gay has always been a part of me. But until recently it was a part I unwillingly chose to ignore. I didn’t pay attention to all the signs, I didn’t want to see them. When I was 16 I didn’t want to see I was head over heels in love with my English teacher. I didn’t want to see why I loved the movie “Flashdance” so much and it wasn’t for the great dance moves, you know, Jennifer Beals was a big part of why I loved the movie so much. And why I even saw some episodes of the L-Word, now that I think of it. I can go on like this for a while, Erica. This isn’t a rash decision. Yes, you made me realize I’m gay, but it’s been part of me for years”, Callie said. “I just didn’t want to see it.”
She took Erica’s hands in hers. “But I do see it now, Erica”, she softly said. “I see it now and I’m not ignoring it anymore.”
She desperately wanted to kiss Erica. Her feelings for the blonde woman were growing stronger every day. She didn’t know how much longer she’d be able to stay just friends with Erica.
***************************************************************************
After a smooth flight they landed at La Guardia Airport. Carlos had already flown to New York a few days earlier to do some last minute preparations. So Callie and Erica were able to enjoy some time alone.
Erica had noticed that some people had already recognized Callie.
“Cal, everyone is looking at you”, Erica commented.
“Oh, really?” Callie hadn’t really noticed it. She was used to people looking at her.
“Yes, really. I never noticed that in LA.”
“Probably because LA is full of famous people. Also it’s well known I arrive in New York today for a series of interviews and shows.”
Just before they exited the airport, Callie noticed the paparazzi.
“You might want to get in bodyguard mode, Erica, it’s full of paparazzi outside”, Callie quickly said before dashing into the madness.
“Paparazzi? Shit.” Like Callie, Erica pulled her cap deeper over her head and she quickly put on her sunglasses.
“Luckily it’s fashionable to wear sunglasses that hide the half of your face”, Erica thought as she guided Callie through the mass of photographers.
In Erica’s mind it took them forever to get free of all the paparazzi. Carlos had agreed to meet them at the airport and drive them to the hotel. Erica had never been more glad to see him. She quickly pushed Callie into the car and quickly followed herself.
“That was madness, Cal”, Erica sighed. “Pure madness.”
She hoped she wasn’t on too many pictures and if she was, she hoped the cap and the big sunglasses had proved enough of a disguise. She couldn’t take the chance of being recognized.
“I know, Erica.”
“How was your flight, ladies?” Carlos asked.
“Great”, Callie said. “How far is it to the hotel?”
“Not too far, but you know New York traffic, so it might take a while.”
And it did take a while indeed. Finally after what seemed like forever, Callie was able to relax in her room. Luckily at the hotel there weren’t any paparazzi, yet, so they got checked in pretty quickly. Carlos had arranged for 2 communicating rooms for Callie and Erica and neither was complaining about that.
Callie was so glad to finally be in New York. Maybe a change of scenery would be good for her. It might give her a chance to see things in a different perspective. And spending two weeks in the company of Erica would be pure heaven; but it might also be pure torture now that she thought about it.
Just as Callie was about close her eyes a bit to rest, her cell phone rang.
“Jason, how are you?” she greeted him.
“I’m fine, Calliope, and you?”
“Tired, I was just going to get some rest”, Callie yawned into the phone.
“I’m calling to let you know that I’ll be out of town for the next couple of days. I’ll call you when I get back.”
“Sure, no problem. Have fun.”
“Thanks. Bye.”
So Jason was going on one of his trips again. Callie didn’t mind. For all she cared, he could stay wherever he went on his trips. She had made up her mind and she was going to break up with him when she got back to LA.
After a short nap she woke up refreshed and feeling much better. She hated flying. It made her tired and restless at the same time. She wondered how Erica was doing. She checked her watch. She had been asleep for 2 hours. She gently knocked on Erica’s door.
Erica was watching some television when she heard the knock on her door.
“Come in.”
“Hey, I didn’t wake you, did I?”
“No, you didn’t. I was watching some television. You looked tired, so I figured you’d be sleeping a bit”, Erica said, shutting down the television.
“I did sleep a bit. Flying makes me so tired.” Callie went to sit beside Erica. “Jason called me. He’s going on one of his trips again.”
“He is?”
“Damn it”, Erica cursed. “Why does he have to go on a trip now?”
Callie nodded. “He wanted me to know he wouldn’t call me the next couple of days. Not that I care.”
“At least he let you know”, Erica commented. “What’s your schedule for tomorrow?”
“Nothing much. I have to check out the concert room I’ll be giving my concerts. I’ll probably do some sound checking too. I’ll be really busy the day after though. I have some interviews with magazines then.” Callie hesitated a bit before continuing. “Will you come with me? I’d like you to come, Erica.”
Callie shyly looked at Erica. “Of course, I’ll come, Callie. You don’t even have to ask that. I didn’t accompany you to New York to leave you alone all day, you know.”
“I’m glad you came, Erica.”
“I’m glad I came too.”
They looked at each other. Their eyes connected and for a few seconds, they were lost in the turmoil of their emotions: the lust, the passion, the confusion. Erica was the first to avert her gaze.
“You want to grab some dinner together?”
“Yes, I’m a bit hungry. I’ll freshen up a bit in my room. Let’s meet in 45 minutes.”
“Great.”
From the moment Callie had left Erica’s room, she took out her cell phone and called Agent Darnett.
“Agent Darnett, I just got news from Callie that Jason is going away again. Is there any chance one of you can put some tracking device on his car or follow him to see where he’s going? My guess is back to Mexico though”, Erica explained.
“We were already discretely following him, so it’s not surprise he’s going to Mexico. He’s been in daily touch with other guys from the cartel. He’s probably going to Mexico to finalize things with Rodríguez”, Agent Darnett told his colleague.
“I hope he does something stupid soon so that we can arrest him and throw him in jail”, Erica said.
“Me too, I’ll keep you up to date on any changes.”
“Thanks, Agent Darnett.”
What Erica didn’t know is that Jason would indeed do something stupid, just not drug related like she had in mind…