AU fic: Without you... (13/?)
TITLE: Without you…
AUTHOR: sapphicwarrior
PAIRING: Callie/Erica
RATING: NC-1. warning: there is domestic abuse in this story!
DISCLAIMER: All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libellous, defamatory, or in any way factual.
SUMMARY: This is AU, it’s been in my head for a while. A famous singer falls in love with a woman. It’s a love that is looked upon and has to happen secretly until something happens…
BETA: Thanks for my wonderful beta mar_chel !!
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Callie's mom is in town :)
Links to previous parts:
part 1: sapphicwarrior.livejournal.com/35601.html
part 2: sapphicwarrior.livejournal.com/36180.html
part 3: sapphicwarrior.livejournal.com/36754.html
part 4: sapphicwarrior.livejournal.com/37565.html
part 5: sapphicwarrior.livejournal.com/38211.html
part 6: sapphicwarrior.livejournal.com/39663.html
part 7: sapphicwarrior.livejournal.com/40086.html
part 8: sapphicwarrior.livejournal.com/40970.html
part 9: sapphicwarrior.livejournal.com/41401.html
part 10: sapphicwarrior.livejournal.com/42314.html
part 11: sapphicwarrior.livejournal.com/42829.html
part 12: sapphicwarrior.livejournal.com/43757.html
NEW PART:
Callie had asked Erica to accompany her to the airport to pick up her mother. Erica happily agreed as she didn’t feel like leaving Callie alone.
“Where does your mom live?” she asked Callie while waiting for her mother to come through the gate.
“Miami. Oh, there she is.”
Callie’s mother had just spotted her daughter as well and started waving and yelling at “Calliope”.
“Calliope, I’m so glad to see you. How are things?”
“Mom, glad to see you too. I’m fine. How was your flight?”
“Boring as hell.”
“Mom, I’d like you to meet a friend.” Callie looked at Erica. “Mom, this is Erica. Erica this is my mom Anna Torres.”
“Mrs. Torres, it’s a pleasure to meet you. Welcome to Los Angeles.”
“Mrs. Torres makes me feel so old, so please call me Anna. Pleasure to meet you too, Erica.”
They walked to the car together.
“Calliope, you haven’t told me about your new friend yet?” Anna asked her daughter.
“There’s not much to tell, mom. Her name is Erica; we met at yoga class and we became friends instantly.”
They got to the car and Callie put the bags in the trunk.
“Cal, shouldn’t you tell your mom some reason why I’m staying at your place? She might find it weird”, Erica suggested to Callie.
“Good idea, Erica, but what do I tell my mom?”
“I don’t know; tell her my place burned down or something.”
“Are you two finished telling secrets?” Anna asked them while getting in the car.
Erica and Callie hopped in the car; Erica pulled the car out of the parking and headed for the house.
“Mom, Erica is staying at my place. Her apartment burned down a couple of weeks ago and she didn’t have anywhere to go”, Callie lied.
“That’s nice of you Calliope to help her.” Anna turned to Erica. “I raised my girl to help people in need and I’m glad that she doesn’t forget her education even when she’s a famous singer.”
“So how long have you known Calliope, Erica?” Anna asked.
“Let me think… that would be two months now, right Cal?”
“Yes, two months I think.”
“Were you with her when she had her DUI?” Anna asked Erica.
That was a sore question for Erica.
“Mom, can we please not talk about that? You just got here”, Callie said.
“Calliope, you had a DUI, we have to talk about it, and you can’t ignore this.”
“Mom, it’s not like I have a DUI every day. I don’t want to talk about it. End of discussion”, Callie angrily said to her mom.
She didn’t want to talk about her DUI to her mom. How would she explain why she had gotten drunk? Her mother would see right through her lies. She should just have picked up the phone when her mom had called her, like Erica had said, she wouldn’t be in this mess now with her mom showing up.
The rest of the drive to the house was silent. Erica had never been more glad to get out of the car.
“I’ll show you to your room, Anna”, Erica volunteered. Callie seemed to want to kill her mother with her eyes.
“That’s very nice of you, Erica.”
Erica looked over at Callie and could see the gratitude in her eyes. Erica brought Anna to her room.
“Maybe you can freshen up a bit from your trip. We can eat a light lunch afterwards”, Erica offered.
“Okay. Do you know what happened to Calliope that night, Erica?” Anna asked her.
Erica decided to be honest. Well, it was hard not to be honest as she was the main reason. “Yes, I do, Anna, but I don’t think it’s my place to discuss it with you. Callie will tell you on her own time. Lunch will be ready in 1 hour.”
Erica quickly left the room and went downstairs to the kitchen where she knew Callie would be. She found Callie staring out of the window.
“Hey, you okay?” she greeted her friend.
Callie jumped up, having been so engrossed in her thoughts, she hadn’t heard Erica coming downstairs.
“I’m okay I guess. It’s hard having my mom around right now. I’m still dealing with what happened last night and now my mom is here and she’ll keep asking all these questions. I’m not ready for that”, Callie sighed.
Erica went to stand closer to Callie. She put her hand on Callie’s lower back.
“I know you’re not ready for that, but you’ll have to answer her questions about your DUI one of these days. She asked me about it too. I said she had to talk to you about it.”
“Thanks. When she will notice the bruises on my neck, she’ll go absolutely crazy, Erica. But I can’t wear a turtleneck all the time my mom’s here. It’s not like LA has ‘turtleneck weather’ every day, she’s going to notice something’s wrong. Also, what if Jason comes here to the house when he finds out I filed a complaint against him? “
“It’s no use to worry about what might happen. We’ll deal with all that when it happens. You’re not alone in this, remember that. I’m here for you if you want to talk.”
“Thanks.” But Callie didn’t just want to talk to Erica, she wanted to do so much more than talking. She wanted to kiss her, hold her, be close to her. She put her head on Erica’s shoulder and slowly felt herself relax.
Anna was watching the display of affection between her daughter and her friend. She couldn’t find the towels in her bathroom, so she had come downstairs to ask.
“They seem really close”, she mused, “well, I better not disturb them and look for those towels myself.”
***************************************************************************
“You mentioned you were recording a new CD, Calliope. How’s that going? Is it finished already?” Anna asked her daughter.
“Yes, the recording is finished. Now it’s up to the studio guys to put it all on CD. There are some great songs on it. I think it’s my best CD so far”, Callie replied.
“So, you will soon start touring again?”
“Touring? Not yet, but Carlos is talking with a producer from NYC and maybe I’ll go there to do some interviews and some shows to promote the new CD.”
“New York? That’s nice. Have you seen her on stage yet, Erica?” Anna asked.
“On stage? No, but I’ve been in the studio for most of the recordings she did of her new CD.”
“Wait until you see her live, you will be blown away. Her performance live is amazing!”
“Mom…”, Callie protested. She hated it when her mother went all “promo girl” on her.
“Well, it is true, Calliope.”
When their lunch was finished, Erica cleaned up the table and went to her room to give Callie and her mother some privacy. She had sensed during lunch that Anna wanted to talk to Callie about certain things.
“So, Calliope, are you still seeing Jason?”
“Mom, I don’t want to talk about Jason”, Callie sighed.
“I presume then that things aren’t going well between you and him.”
“Mom…”, Callie started. She didn’t know what to tell her mother. Officially she hadn’t broken up with Jason yet, she hadn’t spoken to him since last night.
“Jason and I had a big fight last night, so I don’t know where we stand right now. I haven’t spoken to him yet. Technically we are still together, we haven’t broken up yet. But like I said, I don’t want to talk about it.”, Callie told her mother. It wasn’t a complete lie, they did have a fight last night.
“You be careful with that boy, Calliope, I don’t trust him”, Anna warned her.
***************************************************************************
Erica was in her room, catching up on some papers she had to read. The ringing of her cell phone brought her out of her reading.
“Hahn speaking”, she answered the phone.
“Erica, this is Sergeant Sterchele. I hope I don’t disturb you.”
“Sergeant, good afternoon. No, you are not disturbing me.”
“I just wanted to warn you that I interrogated Jason Taylor concerning the abusing he did to Ms. Torres. He has quite a temper. He was rather furious when he left the police station. In case he should come to Ms. Torres’ house, you’d better be nearby”, Sterchele told Erica. He hesitated for a second. “He also said you treated him very roughly.”
“If I had treated him roughly, he’d be in the hospital right now. He’ll live, he’s probably just a bit sore, but at least his neck isn’t bruised like Callie’s. So he has nothing to complain about. Thank you for warning me about Jason. I’ll inform Callie. Also thank you for not arresting him, I know it’s a normal procedure for cases like this. I hope you won’t get into any trouble.”
“Don’t worry about that. If Jason can be nailed later for the abusing and for whatever it is you guys are investigating him, that’ll be great.”
“Thank you, Sergeant.”
“No problem, you have a nice day, Erica.”
Erica put down her phone. So Jason was furious and he might take his frustrations out on Callie again. He’d be really stupid to beat her up again in presence of her mother. But then again, in her opinion, Jason wasn’t the brightest of all.
To Erica’s surprise Jason didn’t come to the house that day. After dinner, Anna excused herself to go to her room because she was tired.
“Finally, she’s gone to her room”, Callie sighed. “She kept asking me these questions about Jason and then about you as well. It drove me crazy.”
“Your mother seems nice, Cal. I’m sure she just wants to know what’s going on in her daughter’s life. It must be nice to have a mother interested in your life”, Erica mused.
Suddenly she realized what she had said. Now Callie would definitely start asking questions about her mother.
Callie took a bottle of wine and some glasses and motioned Erica to the living room. Together they sat down on the couch. In the week Jason was absent, they spent every evening curled up on the couch. And this evening, it was not different, even though Callie’s mom was just upstairs. Callie motioned for Erica to come and sit between her legs and she softly put her head on Erica’s shoulder, while putting her arms around her waist. They didn’t think twice about their position, it just happened naturally.
“Tell me about your mother, Erica”, Callie softly asked Erica.
Callie felt Erica tense, but she repeated her question.
“She didn’t want me, I was an accident. She already had 5 kids and suddenly she got pregnant with me. She had no idea who the father was. She only found out she was pregnant when she was already 6 months along, so she couldn’t do an abortion anymore. She never wanted me, Cal. She told me that enough”, Erica told in a broken voice.
“Oh, baby.” Callie wanted to kiss away the pain Erica obviously was feeling.
“I never got any new clothes, I always had to wear what my brothers and sisters had worn”, Erica continued. “I was the laughing stock of the school because of that. I either wore clothes that were too big or too small. She never came to my school plays. She never congratulated me on the A’s I got in high school.”
“I’m so sorry, Erica, I had no idea.” Callie felt tears whelming up in her eyes.
“When I told her I wanted to go to college and study Law, she started laughing at me. I had never seen her laughing before. She said I was too stupid for that. That day something inside me broke. I started studying even harder and I graduated high school cum laude. I had applied to several colleges for a scholarship and because of my good marks I had an ample choice of where I wanted to go. The day I graduated high school was the best day of my life so far. It meant I could finally leave the house.”
“What became of your brothers and sisters?” Callie tentatively asked.
“James the oldest is an alcoholic and probably somewhere in rehab or drinking himself to death. Jack... I don’t know where he is exactly. Last I heard he was somewhere in prison, but that was a couple of years ago. Lilly got pregnant when she was 16, but luckily her boyfriend was a good one, and they are still together. They have 4 kids now I think. Caroline fell in love with a Mexican and moved to Mexico and Simone also left the house right after graduating high school. She was the only one I could relate too. She got a scholarship to go to med school and she’s now working as a doctor in New York City. She’s the only one I’m still in touch with. She practically raised me.”
“I’m sorry you had such a rough childhood, Erica. I wish there was something I could do to make it better.”
“I have peace with what happened. I may not have been wanted, but I’m happy with how my life is right now. I was able to accomplish my dreams without the help of my mom. I’m proud of that.”
“Where is your mom now?”
“Dead. She had always liked drinking, but in the last years of her life, she apparently lost all control and she drank herself to death. That’s what Simone told me.”
“I’m sorry.” Callie placed a gentle kiss on Erica’s neck. She felt Erica shiver underneath her.
“Don’t…” She felt another bittersweet kiss from Callie on her neck. A small moan escaped her. She wanted this so much, she wanted Callie so much… but she couldn’t, they couldn’t give in to their attraction again.
“Callie… don’t…” Another kiss. She felt arousal go through her body. “Oh god…” She slightly turned her head to give Callie better access. They couldn’t do this, but it felt too good to ignore it. She was on fire, her body felt like exploding. She lost all rational thought and could only think about how good Callie’s lips felt on her neck, but they’d feel even better on her lips. She turned around so that she was facing Callie and laying partly on top of her. Callie was flushed and her eyes were half closed. She gently closed the space between them and captured the sweet lips she had been trying to resist these last days. She felt Callie’s tongue pushing against her lips. She gently opened her mouth and hungrily started kissing Callie back. Only when the necessity of breathing became too much, did they break apart. They were both breathing heavily. Their bodies were on fire; their skin was tingling where the other was touching.
“We can’t…” Erica tried telling Callie, but she couldn’t say the words.
“I know, but I want you so much it physically hurts. I can’t keep thinking about how soft your lips are, how you taste of strawberry lip gloss, how soft your body feels under my hands… I’m drawn to you like a magnet and there’s nothing I can do to stop it.”
“We have to try, Cal. We agreed on this. We can’t… not now.” Erica knew what Callie was talking about, she was feeling the same. And it did hurt physically. She knew one thing that Callie didn’t know. The day Callie breaks up with Jason, would be the day she put Jason behind bars and that would be the day she’d lose the chance of love with Callie. Callie would never forgive her for lying to her, so this was hurting her even more. If she had been less of a professional, she’d be devouring Callie right now. But she had already broken all her rules by falling for Callie and she wanted to keep her last bit of professionalism. But it broke her heart that kisses like this were all she’d ever have from Callie. Callie would hate her the day she’d find out about who she really was and that she would lose Callie forever.
Reluctantly the two lovers pulled apart and agreed it would be best if they went to their own room to avoid more kissing.
***************************************************************************
A week after the incident with Jason, the front bell suddenly rang. Callie wondered who it could be. She wasn’t expecting anyone. Erica had gone to her place to check on a couple of things and had only just left. Her mother was in the garden, reading a book.
“Hello?” she answered in a small voice.
“It’s me, can I come in?”
“Oh my god, Jason is here… oh my god, what do I do now?” Callie said to herself. Erica wasn’t here, she needed Erica to be here when Jason came. Erica had told her that Jason had been furious after finding about the complaint against him.
“What are you doing here, Jason? You have some nerve coming back here. I don’t want to see you.”
“Please, baby, I’m so sorry”, Jason apologized. He had to get back on Callie’s good side. He couldn’t lose her, not yet, he still needed her. He still had drugs hidden in her house that he needed to sell.
Slowly Callie opened the door.
“Come in.”
She guided Jason to the kitchen. She wanted to avoid getting close to him, and she reasoned that if they each sat on a side of the table, she could maybe avoid getting hit by Jason again.
“I’m so sorry, baby, I never meant to hurt you”, Jason started apologizing.
“Don’t baby-me, Jason, you lost that right when you tried to strangle me last week”, Callie coldly said. She wasn’t planning on making it easy on him.
“I’m sorry I hurt you, Calliope, it wasn’t my intention. I don’t know what came over me”, Jason tried in a small voice. Maybe this time she would accept his apology.
“Like you didn’t know what came over you the last time, and the time before that, and the time before that… I lost count, Jason of how many times you hit me and came apologizing afterwards. I’m not some punching bag you can practice on. I’m a woman and I should be treated like one. If you can’t do that, you have no business here anymore”, Callie said in a stern voice.
Jason realized his girlfriend was serious this time and that she wouldn’t take him back without any conditions.
“I don’t know why I sometimes lose control like that, Calliope.”
“Oh, but I do”, Callie thought, but she couldn’t tell him that.
“And you are right, you deserve to be treated like a woman”, Jason continued.
Callie was contemplating what to do. Breaking things up with him or forgive him and give him one last chance? But how many last chances hadn’t she already given him in the time she had know him? She looked at him. He did look sincere in his attempt to ask for her forgiveness. But she wasn’t in love with him, never had been; she realized that now. Erica was the one that filled her dreams and her heart. But a relationship with Erica would be complicated. A famous female singer in love with another woman, the tabloids would have a field day reporting this and she wasn’t ready to face all the gossip yet. She had barely accepted her feelings for Erica herself. Going public with those feelings was out of the question for now. And Jason was an easy solution, he could accompany her to public events and if she behaved like a good girlfriend now and then, maybe they could last for another couple of weeks, until she was ready to completely accept her feelings for Erica.
“This is your last chance, Jason, and I mean it. If you lay one finger on me again, I’ll will break all the bones in your body. Don’t underestimate me. One more finger and you’ll crawl out of here. And don’t think I’ll drop my complaint against you. Maybe if you prove you can actually treat me like a woman, I’ll think about it, but right now, it’s out of the question. Do I make myself clear?”
“Very clear, Calliope.”
“Oh, and another thing. If I don’t want to go out for one reason or another, I don’t want any complaining from you. This time I call the shots and you’ll obey them. Take it or lose it… honey”
Slowly Jason got up and went to Callie. “You won’t regret this, Calliope.”
He got closer until he was standing mere inches from her.
“He’s not going to kiss me, is he?”
Jason brought his face closer to Callie’s.
“Oh my god, he’s going to kiss me”, Callie alarmingly thought. “Oh shit. Maybe if I close my eyes so I don’t see him, he won’t notice that I don’t really want to see it’s him kissing me.”
She closed her eyes and waited for Jason to close the gap between them. She felt his lips on hers. When Erica kissed her, her whole body was on fire; now she only felt emptiness. Suddenly she heard the ringing of her cell phone.
“Oh thank god, I’m saved.”
She tore her lips away from Jason. “I’m sorry, I have to take this call. Carlos said he’d call me later today”, she lied.
After the call, she told Jason she had to cut their talk short because Carlos was expecting her at the studio in one hour.
“I’ll call you later, Jason”, she ushered him out of the door. She gave him a quick kiss on the lips and closed the door.
“Finally, he’s gone”, she muttered to herself.
**************************************************************************
What Callie didn’t know was that her mom had witnessed part of her talk with Jason. Her mother had come downstairs to get something to drink, but when she heard Callie talking to Jason, she hadn’t planned eavesdropping on their conversation, but when she heard Callie saying “I lost count, Jason of how many times you hit me and came apologizing afterwards.”, she was glued to the spot. Jason was abusing her baby girl. Jason had hit her more than once, apparently. Suddenly Callie’s turtleneck made sense…
“I’m gonna kill that son of a bitch”, she thought to herself.
When she saw Jason getting closer to kiss her daughter, she could see the repulsiveness on her face. Clearly Callie didn’t want to get together with Jason again, then why was she letting him back in and kissing him?
***************************************************************************
Erica didn’t react well to the news that Callie had taken Jason back. She had known this would happen, but knowing it, didn’t make her feel any better about it. She had to keep reminding herself that Callie wasn’t hers. Callie wasn’t her girlfriend, so she could date and kiss whoever she wanted.
A/N: As you probably all know I'm pregnant, 33 weeks now, so almost in my last month. The birth is due around January 14th normally. I'll try to finish this story before giving birth. I'm currently writing part 17. In case I suddenly don't update for a few weeks, it's probably because I gave birth earlier. Just so you know, it doesn't mean I've forgotten about the story. I'll try to post the last part around mid-december, so that it's all finished before I give birth and I don't have to leave you hanging with a cliff hanger for a few weeks.
Oh, and thank you all so much for the wonderful feedback. It makes me very happy to read you are liking this story :D!!
AUTHOR: sapphicwarrior
PAIRING: Callie/Erica
RATING: NC-1. warning: there is domestic abuse in this story!
DISCLAIMER: All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libellous, defamatory, or in any way factual.
SUMMARY: This is AU, it’s been in my head for a while. A famous singer falls in love with a woman. It’s a love that is looked upon and has to happen secretly until something happens…
BETA: Thanks for my wonderful beta mar_chel !!
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Callie's mom is in town :)
Links to previous parts:
part 1: sapphicwarrior.livejournal.com/35601.html
part 2: sapphicwarrior.livejournal.com/36180.html
part 3: sapphicwarrior.livejournal.com/36754.html
part 4: sapphicwarrior.livejournal.com/37565.html
part 5: sapphicwarrior.livejournal.com/38211.html
part 6: sapphicwarrior.livejournal.com/39663.html
part 7: sapphicwarrior.livejournal.com/40086.html
part 8: sapphicwarrior.livejournal.com/40970.html
part 9: sapphicwarrior.livejournal.com/41401.html
part 10: sapphicwarrior.livejournal.com/42314.html
part 11: sapphicwarrior.livejournal.com/42829.html
part 12: sapphicwarrior.livejournal.com/43757.html
NEW PART:
Callie had asked Erica to accompany her to the airport to pick up her mother. Erica happily agreed as she didn’t feel like leaving Callie alone.
“Where does your mom live?” she asked Callie while waiting for her mother to come through the gate.
“Miami. Oh, there she is.”
Callie’s mother had just spotted her daughter as well and started waving and yelling at “Calliope”.
“Calliope, I’m so glad to see you. How are things?”
“Mom, glad to see you too. I’m fine. How was your flight?”
“Boring as hell.”
“Mom, I’d like you to meet a friend.” Callie looked at Erica. “Mom, this is Erica. Erica this is my mom Anna Torres.”
“Mrs. Torres, it’s a pleasure to meet you. Welcome to Los Angeles.”
“Mrs. Torres makes me feel so old, so please call me Anna. Pleasure to meet you too, Erica.”
They walked to the car together.
“Calliope, you haven’t told me about your new friend yet?” Anna asked her daughter.
“There’s not much to tell, mom. Her name is Erica; we met at yoga class and we became friends instantly.”
They got to the car and Callie put the bags in the trunk.
“Cal, shouldn’t you tell your mom some reason why I’m staying at your place? She might find it weird”, Erica suggested to Callie.
“Good idea, Erica, but what do I tell my mom?”
“I don’t know; tell her my place burned down or something.”
“Are you two finished telling secrets?” Anna asked them while getting in the car.
Erica and Callie hopped in the car; Erica pulled the car out of the parking and headed for the house.
“Mom, Erica is staying at my place. Her apartment burned down a couple of weeks ago and she didn’t have anywhere to go”, Callie lied.
“That’s nice of you Calliope to help her.” Anna turned to Erica. “I raised my girl to help people in need and I’m glad that she doesn’t forget her education even when she’s a famous singer.”
“So how long have you known Calliope, Erica?” Anna asked.
“Let me think… that would be two months now, right Cal?”
“Yes, two months I think.”
“Were you with her when she had her DUI?” Anna asked Erica.
That was a sore question for Erica.
“Mom, can we please not talk about that? You just got here”, Callie said.
“Calliope, you had a DUI, we have to talk about it, and you can’t ignore this.”
“Mom, it’s not like I have a DUI every day. I don’t want to talk about it. End of discussion”, Callie angrily said to her mom.
She didn’t want to talk about her DUI to her mom. How would she explain why she had gotten drunk? Her mother would see right through her lies. She should just have picked up the phone when her mom had called her, like Erica had said, she wouldn’t be in this mess now with her mom showing up.
The rest of the drive to the house was silent. Erica had never been more glad to get out of the car.
“I’ll show you to your room, Anna”, Erica volunteered. Callie seemed to want to kill her mother with her eyes.
“That’s very nice of you, Erica.”
Erica looked over at Callie and could see the gratitude in her eyes. Erica brought Anna to her room.
“Maybe you can freshen up a bit from your trip. We can eat a light lunch afterwards”, Erica offered.
“Okay. Do you know what happened to Calliope that night, Erica?” Anna asked her.
Erica decided to be honest. Well, it was hard not to be honest as she was the main reason. “Yes, I do, Anna, but I don’t think it’s my place to discuss it with you. Callie will tell you on her own time. Lunch will be ready in 1 hour.”
Erica quickly left the room and went downstairs to the kitchen where she knew Callie would be. She found Callie staring out of the window.
“Hey, you okay?” she greeted her friend.
Callie jumped up, having been so engrossed in her thoughts, she hadn’t heard Erica coming downstairs.
“I’m okay I guess. It’s hard having my mom around right now. I’m still dealing with what happened last night and now my mom is here and she’ll keep asking all these questions. I’m not ready for that”, Callie sighed.
Erica went to stand closer to Callie. She put her hand on Callie’s lower back.
“I know you’re not ready for that, but you’ll have to answer her questions about your DUI one of these days. She asked me about it too. I said she had to talk to you about it.”
“Thanks. When she will notice the bruises on my neck, she’ll go absolutely crazy, Erica. But I can’t wear a turtleneck all the time my mom’s here. It’s not like LA has ‘turtleneck weather’ every day, she’s going to notice something’s wrong. Also, what if Jason comes here to the house when he finds out I filed a complaint against him? “
“It’s no use to worry about what might happen. We’ll deal with all that when it happens. You’re not alone in this, remember that. I’m here for you if you want to talk.”
“Thanks.” But Callie didn’t just want to talk to Erica, she wanted to do so much more than talking. She wanted to kiss her, hold her, be close to her. She put her head on Erica’s shoulder and slowly felt herself relax.
Anna was watching the display of affection between her daughter and her friend. She couldn’t find the towels in her bathroom, so she had come downstairs to ask.
“They seem really close”, she mused, “well, I better not disturb them and look for those towels myself.”
***************************************************************************
“You mentioned you were recording a new CD, Calliope. How’s that going? Is it finished already?” Anna asked her daughter.
“Yes, the recording is finished. Now it’s up to the studio guys to put it all on CD. There are some great songs on it. I think it’s my best CD so far”, Callie replied.
“So, you will soon start touring again?”
“Touring? Not yet, but Carlos is talking with a producer from NYC and maybe I’ll go there to do some interviews and some shows to promote the new CD.”
“New York? That’s nice. Have you seen her on stage yet, Erica?” Anna asked.
“On stage? No, but I’ve been in the studio for most of the recordings she did of her new CD.”
“Wait until you see her live, you will be blown away. Her performance live is amazing!”
“Mom…”, Callie protested. She hated it when her mother went all “promo girl” on her.
“Well, it is true, Calliope.”
When their lunch was finished, Erica cleaned up the table and went to her room to give Callie and her mother some privacy. She had sensed during lunch that Anna wanted to talk to Callie about certain things.
“So, Calliope, are you still seeing Jason?”
“Mom, I don’t want to talk about Jason”, Callie sighed.
“I presume then that things aren’t going well between you and him.”
“Mom…”, Callie started. She didn’t know what to tell her mother. Officially she hadn’t broken up with Jason yet, she hadn’t spoken to him since last night.
“Jason and I had a big fight last night, so I don’t know where we stand right now. I haven’t spoken to him yet. Technically we are still together, we haven’t broken up yet. But like I said, I don’t want to talk about it.”, Callie told her mother. It wasn’t a complete lie, they did have a fight last night.
“You be careful with that boy, Calliope, I don’t trust him”, Anna warned her.
***************************************************************************
Erica was in her room, catching up on some papers she had to read. The ringing of her cell phone brought her out of her reading.
“Hahn speaking”, she answered the phone.
“Erica, this is Sergeant Sterchele. I hope I don’t disturb you.”
“Sergeant, good afternoon. No, you are not disturbing me.”
“I just wanted to warn you that I interrogated Jason Taylor concerning the abusing he did to Ms. Torres. He has quite a temper. He was rather furious when he left the police station. In case he should come to Ms. Torres’ house, you’d better be nearby”, Sterchele told Erica. He hesitated for a second. “He also said you treated him very roughly.”
“If I had treated him roughly, he’d be in the hospital right now. He’ll live, he’s probably just a bit sore, but at least his neck isn’t bruised like Callie’s. So he has nothing to complain about. Thank you for warning me about Jason. I’ll inform Callie. Also thank you for not arresting him, I know it’s a normal procedure for cases like this. I hope you won’t get into any trouble.”
“Don’t worry about that. If Jason can be nailed later for the abusing and for whatever it is you guys are investigating him, that’ll be great.”
“Thank you, Sergeant.”
“No problem, you have a nice day, Erica.”
Erica put down her phone. So Jason was furious and he might take his frustrations out on Callie again. He’d be really stupid to beat her up again in presence of her mother. But then again, in her opinion, Jason wasn’t the brightest of all.
To Erica’s surprise Jason didn’t come to the house that day. After dinner, Anna excused herself to go to her room because she was tired.
“Finally, she’s gone to her room”, Callie sighed. “She kept asking me these questions about Jason and then about you as well. It drove me crazy.”
“Your mother seems nice, Cal. I’m sure she just wants to know what’s going on in her daughter’s life. It must be nice to have a mother interested in your life”, Erica mused.
Suddenly she realized what she had said. Now Callie would definitely start asking questions about her mother.
Callie took a bottle of wine and some glasses and motioned Erica to the living room. Together they sat down on the couch. In the week Jason was absent, they spent every evening curled up on the couch. And this evening, it was not different, even though Callie’s mom was just upstairs. Callie motioned for Erica to come and sit between her legs and she softly put her head on Erica’s shoulder, while putting her arms around her waist. They didn’t think twice about their position, it just happened naturally.
“Tell me about your mother, Erica”, Callie softly asked Erica.
Callie felt Erica tense, but she repeated her question.
“She didn’t want me, I was an accident. She already had 5 kids and suddenly she got pregnant with me. She had no idea who the father was. She only found out she was pregnant when she was already 6 months along, so she couldn’t do an abortion anymore. She never wanted me, Cal. She told me that enough”, Erica told in a broken voice.
“Oh, baby.” Callie wanted to kiss away the pain Erica obviously was feeling.
“I never got any new clothes, I always had to wear what my brothers and sisters had worn”, Erica continued. “I was the laughing stock of the school because of that. I either wore clothes that were too big or too small. She never came to my school plays. She never congratulated me on the A’s I got in high school.”
“I’m so sorry, Erica, I had no idea.” Callie felt tears whelming up in her eyes.
“When I told her I wanted to go to college and study Law, she started laughing at me. I had never seen her laughing before. She said I was too stupid for that. That day something inside me broke. I started studying even harder and I graduated high school cum laude. I had applied to several colleges for a scholarship and because of my good marks I had an ample choice of where I wanted to go. The day I graduated high school was the best day of my life so far. It meant I could finally leave the house.”
“What became of your brothers and sisters?” Callie tentatively asked.
“James the oldest is an alcoholic and probably somewhere in rehab or drinking himself to death. Jack... I don’t know where he is exactly. Last I heard he was somewhere in prison, but that was a couple of years ago. Lilly got pregnant when she was 16, but luckily her boyfriend was a good one, and they are still together. They have 4 kids now I think. Caroline fell in love with a Mexican and moved to Mexico and Simone also left the house right after graduating high school. She was the only one I could relate too. She got a scholarship to go to med school and she’s now working as a doctor in New York City. She’s the only one I’m still in touch with. She practically raised me.”
“I’m sorry you had such a rough childhood, Erica. I wish there was something I could do to make it better.”
“I have peace with what happened. I may not have been wanted, but I’m happy with how my life is right now. I was able to accomplish my dreams without the help of my mom. I’m proud of that.”
“Where is your mom now?”
“Dead. She had always liked drinking, but in the last years of her life, she apparently lost all control and she drank herself to death. That’s what Simone told me.”
“I’m sorry.” Callie placed a gentle kiss on Erica’s neck. She felt Erica shiver underneath her.
“Don’t…” She felt another bittersweet kiss from Callie on her neck. A small moan escaped her. She wanted this so much, she wanted Callie so much… but she couldn’t, they couldn’t give in to their attraction again.
“Callie… don’t…” Another kiss. She felt arousal go through her body. “Oh god…” She slightly turned her head to give Callie better access. They couldn’t do this, but it felt too good to ignore it. She was on fire, her body felt like exploding. She lost all rational thought and could only think about how good Callie’s lips felt on her neck, but they’d feel even better on her lips. She turned around so that she was facing Callie and laying partly on top of her. Callie was flushed and her eyes were half closed. She gently closed the space between them and captured the sweet lips she had been trying to resist these last days. She felt Callie’s tongue pushing against her lips. She gently opened her mouth and hungrily started kissing Callie back. Only when the necessity of breathing became too much, did they break apart. They were both breathing heavily. Their bodies were on fire; their skin was tingling where the other was touching.
“We can’t…” Erica tried telling Callie, but she couldn’t say the words.
“I know, but I want you so much it physically hurts. I can’t keep thinking about how soft your lips are, how you taste of strawberry lip gloss, how soft your body feels under my hands… I’m drawn to you like a magnet and there’s nothing I can do to stop it.”
“We have to try, Cal. We agreed on this. We can’t… not now.” Erica knew what Callie was talking about, she was feeling the same. And it did hurt physically. She knew one thing that Callie didn’t know. The day Callie breaks up with Jason, would be the day she put Jason behind bars and that would be the day she’d lose the chance of love with Callie. Callie would never forgive her for lying to her, so this was hurting her even more. If she had been less of a professional, she’d be devouring Callie right now. But she had already broken all her rules by falling for Callie and she wanted to keep her last bit of professionalism. But it broke her heart that kisses like this were all she’d ever have from Callie. Callie would hate her the day she’d find out about who she really was and that she would lose Callie forever.
Reluctantly the two lovers pulled apart and agreed it would be best if they went to their own room to avoid more kissing.
***************************************************************************
A week after the incident with Jason, the front bell suddenly rang. Callie wondered who it could be. She wasn’t expecting anyone. Erica had gone to her place to check on a couple of things and had only just left. Her mother was in the garden, reading a book.
“Hello?” she answered in a small voice.
“It’s me, can I come in?”
“Oh my god, Jason is here… oh my god, what do I do now?” Callie said to herself. Erica wasn’t here, she needed Erica to be here when Jason came. Erica had told her that Jason had been furious after finding about the complaint against him.
“What are you doing here, Jason? You have some nerve coming back here. I don’t want to see you.”
“Please, baby, I’m so sorry”, Jason apologized. He had to get back on Callie’s good side. He couldn’t lose her, not yet, he still needed her. He still had drugs hidden in her house that he needed to sell.
Slowly Callie opened the door.
“Come in.”
She guided Jason to the kitchen. She wanted to avoid getting close to him, and she reasoned that if they each sat on a side of the table, she could maybe avoid getting hit by Jason again.
“I’m so sorry, baby, I never meant to hurt you”, Jason started apologizing.
“Don’t baby-me, Jason, you lost that right when you tried to strangle me last week”, Callie coldly said. She wasn’t planning on making it easy on him.
“I’m sorry I hurt you, Calliope, it wasn’t my intention. I don’t know what came over me”, Jason tried in a small voice. Maybe this time she would accept his apology.
“Like you didn’t know what came over you the last time, and the time before that, and the time before that… I lost count, Jason of how many times you hit me and came apologizing afterwards. I’m not some punching bag you can practice on. I’m a woman and I should be treated like one. If you can’t do that, you have no business here anymore”, Callie said in a stern voice.
Jason realized his girlfriend was serious this time and that she wouldn’t take him back without any conditions.
“I don’t know why I sometimes lose control like that, Calliope.”
“Oh, but I do”, Callie thought, but she couldn’t tell him that.
“And you are right, you deserve to be treated like a woman”, Jason continued.
Callie was contemplating what to do. Breaking things up with him or forgive him and give him one last chance? But how many last chances hadn’t she already given him in the time she had know him? She looked at him. He did look sincere in his attempt to ask for her forgiveness. But she wasn’t in love with him, never had been; she realized that now. Erica was the one that filled her dreams and her heart. But a relationship with Erica would be complicated. A famous female singer in love with another woman, the tabloids would have a field day reporting this and she wasn’t ready to face all the gossip yet. She had barely accepted her feelings for Erica herself. Going public with those feelings was out of the question for now. And Jason was an easy solution, he could accompany her to public events and if she behaved like a good girlfriend now and then, maybe they could last for another couple of weeks, until she was ready to completely accept her feelings for Erica.
“This is your last chance, Jason, and I mean it. If you lay one finger on me again, I’ll will break all the bones in your body. Don’t underestimate me. One more finger and you’ll crawl out of here. And don’t think I’ll drop my complaint against you. Maybe if you prove you can actually treat me like a woman, I’ll think about it, but right now, it’s out of the question. Do I make myself clear?”
“Very clear, Calliope.”
“Oh, and another thing. If I don’t want to go out for one reason or another, I don’t want any complaining from you. This time I call the shots and you’ll obey them. Take it or lose it… honey”
Slowly Jason got up and went to Callie. “You won’t regret this, Calliope.”
He got closer until he was standing mere inches from her.
“He’s not going to kiss me, is he?”
Jason brought his face closer to Callie’s.
“Oh my god, he’s going to kiss me”, Callie alarmingly thought. “Oh shit. Maybe if I close my eyes so I don’t see him, he won’t notice that I don’t really want to see it’s him kissing me.”
She closed her eyes and waited for Jason to close the gap between them. She felt his lips on hers. When Erica kissed her, her whole body was on fire; now she only felt emptiness. Suddenly she heard the ringing of her cell phone.
“Oh thank god, I’m saved.”
She tore her lips away from Jason. “I’m sorry, I have to take this call. Carlos said he’d call me later today”, she lied.
After the call, she told Jason she had to cut their talk short because Carlos was expecting her at the studio in one hour.
“I’ll call you later, Jason”, she ushered him out of the door. She gave him a quick kiss on the lips and closed the door.
“Finally, he’s gone”, she muttered to herself.
**************************************************************************
What Callie didn’t know was that her mom had witnessed part of her talk with Jason. Her mother had come downstairs to get something to drink, but when she heard Callie talking to Jason, she hadn’t planned eavesdropping on their conversation, but when she heard Callie saying “I lost count, Jason of how many times you hit me and came apologizing afterwards.”, she was glued to the spot. Jason was abusing her baby girl. Jason had hit her more than once, apparently. Suddenly Callie’s turtleneck made sense…
“I’m gonna kill that son of a bitch”, she thought to herself.
When she saw Jason getting closer to kiss her daughter, she could see the repulsiveness on her face. Clearly Callie didn’t want to get together with Jason again, then why was she letting him back in and kissing him?
***************************************************************************
Erica didn’t react well to the news that Callie had taken Jason back. She had known this would happen, but knowing it, didn’t make her feel any better about it. She had to keep reminding herself that Callie wasn’t hers. Callie wasn’t her girlfriend, so she could date and kiss whoever she wanted.
A/N: As you probably all know I'm pregnant, 33 weeks now, so almost in my last month. The birth is due around January 14th normally. I'll try to finish this story before giving birth. I'm currently writing part 17. In case I suddenly don't update for a few weeks, it's probably because I gave birth earlier. Just so you know, it doesn't mean I've forgotten about the story. I'll try to post the last part around mid-december, so that it's all finished before I give birth and I don't have to leave you hanging with a cliff hanger for a few weeks.
Oh, and thank you all so much for the wonderful feedback. It makes me very happy to read you are liking this story :D!!