Sweetly buried in your yellow hair...
Happy New Year, everyone (belated I know).
I had quite a roller coaster of a new year. It climbed and climbed and climbed until it hit its wonderful peak in the spring and summer, then it went down and down and down into a great horrible pit of blackness and despair. I guess it has to come back up again sooner or later.
I resolve to:
stay alive
to grow stronger
and
to find a boy who will love me as much or if possible more than I have loved. A boy who is understanding and kind, who always makes any attempt possible to show me he loves me, who is a cat person, who likes Simon & Garfunkel as much as I do, who watches movies--horror movies in particular and especially David Cronenberg (and who can stand gore), who brings me flowers and calls me every night because he wants to (not because he feels obligated to), who makes me promises and keeps every single one.
I resolve to be the one worshipped for once. I'm sick of being the one chasing and the one worshipping. It's not natural and it's degrading. I want to live in a fairy tale, in a teen movie. I want to be sought after like Sandra Templeton in Big Fish. I want someone to love me and NEVER LET GO.
Well, that may just be a resolution for the decade, not the year, but I hope it will happen soon enough. I hope that person is out there, waiting for the day when I come along.
This Johanna needs an Anthony to steal her away.
I still have so much hope for my life. Although I'll probably be hit in the face with it again later, this is the first time that I've felt marginally alright about being abandoned. Clearly, this time, it was not my fault. In many ways I suppose I was being held back. Well not anymore. I intend to seize life at every moment, be it here in Maryland, or yonder at Vassar. I will avenge the state of my battered soul the day I feel content in another man's arms. And, I expect that that day will come sooner rather than later.
And you, my favorite fiend, I hope one day you finally find your courage. I hope one day you discover yourself, and all the potential within you. But I tell you, my former love, that self-discovery does not lie in the escape of another's arms. It lies deep within. You will need a lot of strength to delve deep within your very soul. I hope one day you find strength, and happiness. Until then, I'll be living, and hopefully, living happily.
I had quite a roller coaster of a new year. It climbed and climbed and climbed until it hit its wonderful peak in the spring and summer, then it went down and down and down into a great horrible pit of blackness and despair. I guess it has to come back up again sooner or later.
I resolve to:
stay alive
to grow stronger
and
to find a boy who will love me as much or if possible more than I have loved. A boy who is understanding and kind, who always makes any attempt possible to show me he loves me, who is a cat person, who likes Simon & Garfunkel as much as I do, who watches movies--horror movies in particular and especially David Cronenberg (and who can stand gore), who brings me flowers and calls me every night because he wants to (not because he feels obligated to), who makes me promises and keeps every single one.
I resolve to be the one worshipped for once. I'm sick of being the one chasing and the one worshipping. It's not natural and it's degrading. I want to live in a fairy tale, in a teen movie. I want to be sought after like Sandra Templeton in Big Fish. I want someone to love me and NEVER LET GO.
Well, that may just be a resolution for the decade, not the year, but I hope it will happen soon enough. I hope that person is out there, waiting for the day when I come along.
This Johanna needs an Anthony to steal her away.
I still have so much hope for my life. Although I'll probably be hit in the face with it again later, this is the first time that I've felt marginally alright about being abandoned. Clearly, this time, it was not my fault. In many ways I suppose I was being held back. Well not anymore. I intend to seize life at every moment, be it here in Maryland, or yonder at Vassar. I will avenge the state of my battered soul the day I feel content in another man's arms. And, I expect that that day will come sooner rather than later.
And you, my favorite fiend, I hope one day you finally find your courage. I hope one day you discover yourself, and all the potential within you. But I tell you, my former love, that self-discovery does not lie in the escape of another's arms. It lies deep within. You will need a lot of strength to delve deep within your very soul. I hope one day you find strength, and happiness. Until then, I'll be living, and hopefully, living happily.