Nisaki: Need
Title: Need
Author: Sango Houshi
Chapter: 2/?
Summary: it was a week after the Truth or Dare game and Sakito and Ni-ya finally got in each others pants. but there are repercussions to this, mostly because Sakito lost his virginity on a drunken binge. how will the guitarist deal with this and how is it going to affect his relationship with ni-ya and the rest of the band?
chapter 1
quick AN: "HEY" normal time/conversation "HEY" thoughts/memories
~.~.~ is a break in memory. meaning there's a skip btwn one memory and the next.
Ch. 2
Sakito's p.o.v
Sakito couldn’t even look at Ni-ya. Sitting still hurt, even lying down hurt. His whole body ached. Even more than yesterday. It ached in places he didn’t think possible; in places he didn’t even know he had. His thighs and hips hurt, his sides hurt; his head was still threatening to spilt open even after a whole day. He felt like must’ve drunk at least a gallon of…whatever it was he’d been drinking.
It could have been whiskey, but he wasn’t sure. It was something that Hitsugi had brought from Lyu-chan who’d imported it from America but again, it’s Lyu-chan. That guy was crazy. Ugh…he shouldn’t have drunk it.
He didn’t know what he’d been thinking.
He never drank like that. How could he lose his mind and get so plastered he let all of his defenses down and then lose his virginity. To Ni-ya! Oh gods…the bassist must think him some promiscuous whore now. He chanced a peek through his bangs at the raven haired bassist sitting next to him and felt a pang of hurt when he saw Ni-ya sitting as far away as the small space allowed trying to turn his back on the guitarist. He blinked the blurry view of Ni-ya’s back from his eyes only to catch Ruka staring at him. He quickly averted his gaze and felt like a specimen under a microscope under Ruka’s scrutiny. He didn’t like being looked at like that.
It was bad enough that Yomi had come to get him this morning and more than nag him, the tiny vocalist had tried to make him ‘feel better’ about how the exact same thing had happened to him and Ruka. Like that was a good thing. Not only was that information not wanted, it also didn’t make him feel any better. He didn’t want to become like Yomi-the tiny man had Ruka wrapped around his pinky, true, but he was also a slut when it came to the drummer. They were shameless about it. They talked about their sexual encounters as though talking about the weather and they were always…touching each other.
If anything he wanted to be more like Hitsugi. The shy guitarist was a sexual creature by nature-hell he was dating Aki, a walking sex pheromone, but he was also very reserved, sometimes more than himself. He was always covered, the poor thing was self conscious, but that showed that he had self respect. Some people might think him archaic and a prude, but that’s how he was raised. And having Ruka looking at him like that wasn’t helping. Like the drummer was trying to see inside his head, try to pry the events from two days ago and project them in front of all to see-as though Sakito could remember! He felt like Ruka was trying to see his thoughts and decipher every little movement he made. Like he was the one who’d done wrong. And he couldn’t agree more.
Ni-ya had apologized, but he didn’t have anything to apologize for. For all they knew, he had probably thrown himself into Ni-ya’s arms, acting like a whore to get the man to fuck him. He deserved to have his body hurt the way it did.
But he knew exactly what had gone through his mind. He’d been trying so hard not to let the other guys get to him, especially with how they all acted around each other and how they couldn’t keep their hands to themselves. He was tired of being the one looking in from the outside. He was tired of being alone. Tired of waiting: tired of not being able to give in to the strong urges that threatened to consume him; tired of not feeling strong arms holding him. Tired of having to keep everyone at arms length. And he had no idea why.
He knew he was beautiful. Could have anyone he wanted just because of how he looked. Doors opened for beautiful people.
But it also made them vulnerable and people took advantage because they only saw the outside. Because he was beautiful he also had to work harder for people to see his brains. He had to work hard because no one took him seriously.
Sure he could just use his body to get whatever he wanted, but that wasn’t what he wanted. He’d always prided himself in knowing that he was both beautiful and smart. But he also knew that he came across as cold and standoffish when he just wanted to show others that he wanted to be respected and not thought of as a sexual object. That’s all he ever was…
But with Ni-ya…with Ni-ya it was different.
Yes the bassist looked at him like he was the last cup of water in the desert, but he also treated him kindly and made him laugh. And the conversations they had could go on and did go on for hours, something new always popping up. Ni-ya drove him insane and made him angry, but he also made his heart warm and go DOKI DOKI every time the bassist looked at him, from casual looks to mock flirting winks and smirks. It wasn't just the physical, though that certainly counted. Ni-ya wasn’t the bad boy everyone believed. He was also funny and sensitive and caring and…
Rough calloused hands trailing teasingly down his back…
He blinked, a strong shiver coursing down his body. His breath caught in his throat and for a brief second he could see, clearly, the loving eyes of Ni-ya looking down at him as they moved against each other. His head snapped over to see Ni-ya looking at him curiously, having heard his sharp intake of breath. Another memory hit him like lightning.
‘oh fuck Sakito.’
‘Ni-ya…go deeper, please.’
‘Gods…yessss.’
‘Ni-ya!’
His own voice, screaming in unadulterated pleasure echoed in his mind, taunting him with glimpses of what had happened, showing him that he had begged for it, literally, and Ni-ya had given him what he wanted. Ni-ya had always given him everything he asked for. It wasn’t that the bassist had a favorite over him to the others, but Sakito always got his way when it came to the bassist.
And like a movie, more memories began to play, making his heart constrict in his chest until he couldn't breathe anymore.
‘Ni-ya…I need you.’
Sakito was standing outside Ni-ya’s hotel door, drunk off his ass and he knew it, but the need was too strong and he’d grown weak. He couldn’t fight it any more. He needed Ni-ya.
‘Sakito?’ the bassist was also clearly drunk, his words slurring something awful and he blinked again and again to make sure he wasn’t hallucinating.
‘Please…take me tonight. I need you.’
~.~.~.~.~
‘Oh fuck…Ni-ya!’
‘Sakito…I…I love you!’
The bassist’s deep baritone voice echoed in Sakito’s head, the words repeating themselves in an endless loop and he thought he’d go insane.
‘Oh fuck.’ Sakito thought his eyes growing wide as he looked over at Ni-ya, his breath escaping him in an exhale only to be replaced by a shocked gasp.
“Oh Gods.”
The look of shock on his face drew the attention of the bassist and everyone else at the table.
“Are you okay?” the raven asked him, stretching his arm out to aid him if anything happened.
“I..I.” his mouth kept opening and closing but no more words formed. He looked like a fish out of water.
“I have to go.” He said and got up as quickly as his complaining muscles could allow.
“Sakito wait.” Yomi called behind him but the guitarist ignored him, needing to get away. It felt like he was suffocating. His heart was beating wildly against his ribs. A touch on his wrist sent a jolt of electricity throughout his body and it felt like his skin was on fire. He turned to look at the gentle but firm hold Ni-ya had on his wrist.
“Sakito, what’s wrong?” the bassist said, his other hand coming up to cup Sakito’s cheek.
He didn’t know…Ni-ya didn’t know. Or he didn’t remember. He must know! Oh gods… could he tell? Could he tell that Sakito felt the same way for him?
Sakito was…
The guitarist gasped, Ni-ya’s name falling from his lips before the guitarist’s vision began to blur.
“I can’t … I can’t do this.” His lungs cried for air and his head screamed its denial of the emotions his heart tried to choke down his throat.
“Sakito. Tell me what’s wrong.” Ni-ya tightened his grip on the guitarist, seeing him start to hyperventilate. In his chaotic mind he didn’t see what was happening. To say that he was shocked was an understatement.
One minute he was trying to get away from Ni-ya, away from the emotions that threatened to make him go mad. The next he felt soft but slightly chapped lips against his.
Ni-ya was kissing him.
His eyes closed on their own volition as he gasped again, falling limp in Ni-ya’s arms.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Sakito?” Ni-ya’s voice was very far away for some reason. It sounded like the bassist was screaming at him from the other side of Mt. Fuji.
But the voice was so insistent he thought there might be something wrong. Feeling like he was buried in sand, he began to push against the feeling of being dragged down and having nothing to hold him steady, digging himself out to reach Ni-ya’s voice.
He opened bleary eyes to see the worried look on Ni-ya’s face.
“What happened?” before he could finish the sentence his mind had already produced the answer.
In a night of passionate lovemaking, Ni-ya had told him he loved him and he finally realized that he was in love with Ni-ya. He’d fainted because his mind hadn’t been able to process what his heart had known all along.
As though burned he yanked away from the bassist immediately feeling like a jerk for seeing the hurt look on the raven’s handsome features.
He saw Ni-ya hesitate momentarily, searching for something in Sakito’s face. He didn’t know if the bassist found it or not because with a slight nod Ni-ya turned away from him and left the room.
The look on Ni-ya’s eyes, the hard shut-off look would haunt him for days.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
please tell me what you think! review with cookies!!
Author: Sango Houshi
Chapter: 2/?
Summary: it was a week after the Truth or Dare game and Sakito and Ni-ya finally got in each others pants. but there are repercussions to this, mostly because Sakito lost his virginity on a drunken binge. how will the guitarist deal with this and how is it going to affect his relationship with ni-ya and the rest of the band?
chapter 1
quick AN: "HEY" normal time/conversation "HEY" thoughts/memories
~.~.~ is a break in memory. meaning there's a skip btwn one memory and the next.
Ch. 2
Sakito's p.o.v
Sakito couldn’t even look at Ni-ya. Sitting still hurt, even lying down hurt. His whole body ached. Even more than yesterday. It ached in places he didn’t think possible; in places he didn’t even know he had. His thighs and hips hurt, his sides hurt; his head was still threatening to spilt open even after a whole day. He felt like must’ve drunk at least a gallon of…whatever it was he’d been drinking.
It could have been whiskey, but he wasn’t sure. It was something that Hitsugi had brought from Lyu-chan who’d imported it from America but again, it’s Lyu-chan. That guy was crazy. Ugh…he shouldn’t have drunk it.
He didn’t know what he’d been thinking.
He never drank like that. How could he lose his mind and get so plastered he let all of his defenses down and then lose his virginity. To Ni-ya! Oh gods…the bassist must think him some promiscuous whore now. He chanced a peek through his bangs at the raven haired bassist sitting next to him and felt a pang of hurt when he saw Ni-ya sitting as far away as the small space allowed trying to turn his back on the guitarist. He blinked the blurry view of Ni-ya’s back from his eyes only to catch Ruka staring at him. He quickly averted his gaze and felt like a specimen under a microscope under Ruka’s scrutiny. He didn’t like being looked at like that.
It was bad enough that Yomi had come to get him this morning and more than nag him, the tiny vocalist had tried to make him ‘feel better’ about how the exact same thing had happened to him and Ruka. Like that was a good thing. Not only was that information not wanted, it also didn’t make him feel any better. He didn’t want to become like Yomi-the tiny man had Ruka wrapped around his pinky, true, but he was also a slut when it came to the drummer. They were shameless about it. They talked about their sexual encounters as though talking about the weather and they were always…touching each other.
If anything he wanted to be more like Hitsugi. The shy guitarist was a sexual creature by nature-hell he was dating Aki, a walking sex pheromone, but he was also very reserved, sometimes more than himself. He was always covered, the poor thing was self conscious, but that showed that he had self respect. Some people might think him archaic and a prude, but that’s how he was raised. And having Ruka looking at him like that wasn’t helping. Like the drummer was trying to see inside his head, try to pry the events from two days ago and project them in front of all to see-as though Sakito could remember! He felt like Ruka was trying to see his thoughts and decipher every little movement he made. Like he was the one who’d done wrong. And he couldn’t agree more.
Ni-ya had apologized, but he didn’t have anything to apologize for. For all they knew, he had probably thrown himself into Ni-ya’s arms, acting like a whore to get the man to fuck him. He deserved to have his body hurt the way it did.
But he knew exactly what had gone through his mind. He’d been trying so hard not to let the other guys get to him, especially with how they all acted around each other and how they couldn’t keep their hands to themselves. He was tired of being the one looking in from the outside. He was tired of being alone. Tired of waiting: tired of not being able to give in to the strong urges that threatened to consume him; tired of not feeling strong arms holding him. Tired of having to keep everyone at arms length. And he had no idea why.
He knew he was beautiful. Could have anyone he wanted just because of how he looked. Doors opened for beautiful people.
But it also made them vulnerable and people took advantage because they only saw the outside. Because he was beautiful he also had to work harder for people to see his brains. He had to work hard because no one took him seriously.
Sure he could just use his body to get whatever he wanted, but that wasn’t what he wanted. He’d always prided himself in knowing that he was both beautiful and smart. But he also knew that he came across as cold and standoffish when he just wanted to show others that he wanted to be respected and not thought of as a sexual object. That’s all he ever was…
But with Ni-ya…with Ni-ya it was different.
Yes the bassist looked at him like he was the last cup of water in the desert, but he also treated him kindly and made him laugh. And the conversations they had could go on and did go on for hours, something new always popping up. Ni-ya drove him insane and made him angry, but he also made his heart warm and go DOKI DOKI every time the bassist looked at him, from casual looks to mock flirting winks and smirks. It wasn't just the physical, though that certainly counted. Ni-ya wasn’t the bad boy everyone believed. He was also funny and sensitive and caring and…
Rough calloused hands trailing teasingly down his back…
He blinked, a strong shiver coursing down his body. His breath caught in his throat and for a brief second he could see, clearly, the loving eyes of Ni-ya looking down at him as they moved against each other. His head snapped over to see Ni-ya looking at him curiously, having heard his sharp intake of breath. Another memory hit him like lightning.
‘oh fuck Sakito.’
‘Ni-ya…go deeper, please.’
‘Gods…yessss.’
‘Ni-ya!’
His own voice, screaming in unadulterated pleasure echoed in his mind, taunting him with glimpses of what had happened, showing him that he had begged for it, literally, and Ni-ya had given him what he wanted. Ni-ya had always given him everything he asked for. It wasn’t that the bassist had a favorite over him to the others, but Sakito always got his way when it came to the bassist.
And like a movie, more memories began to play, making his heart constrict in his chest until he couldn't breathe anymore.
‘Ni-ya…I need you.’
Sakito was standing outside Ni-ya’s hotel door, drunk off his ass and he knew it, but the need was too strong and he’d grown weak. He couldn’t fight it any more. He needed Ni-ya.
‘Sakito?’ the bassist was also clearly drunk, his words slurring something awful and he blinked again and again to make sure he wasn’t hallucinating.
‘Please…take me tonight. I need you.’
~.~.~.~.~
‘Oh fuck…Ni-ya!’
‘Sakito…I…I love you!’
The bassist’s deep baritone voice echoed in Sakito’s head, the words repeating themselves in an endless loop and he thought he’d go insane.
‘Oh fuck.’ Sakito thought his eyes growing wide as he looked over at Ni-ya, his breath escaping him in an exhale only to be replaced by a shocked gasp.
“Oh Gods.”
The look of shock on his face drew the attention of the bassist and everyone else at the table.
“Are you okay?” the raven asked him, stretching his arm out to aid him if anything happened.
“I..I.” his mouth kept opening and closing but no more words formed. He looked like a fish out of water.
“I have to go.” He said and got up as quickly as his complaining muscles could allow.
“Sakito wait.” Yomi called behind him but the guitarist ignored him, needing to get away. It felt like he was suffocating. His heart was beating wildly against his ribs. A touch on his wrist sent a jolt of electricity throughout his body and it felt like his skin was on fire. He turned to look at the gentle but firm hold Ni-ya had on his wrist.
“Sakito, what’s wrong?” the bassist said, his other hand coming up to cup Sakito’s cheek.
He didn’t know…Ni-ya didn’t know. Or he didn’t remember. He must know! Oh gods… could he tell? Could he tell that Sakito felt the same way for him?
Sakito was…
The guitarist gasped, Ni-ya’s name falling from his lips before the guitarist’s vision began to blur.
“I can’t … I can’t do this.” His lungs cried for air and his head screamed its denial of the emotions his heart tried to choke down his throat.
“Sakito. Tell me what’s wrong.” Ni-ya tightened his grip on the guitarist, seeing him start to hyperventilate. In his chaotic mind he didn’t see what was happening. To say that he was shocked was an understatement.
One minute he was trying to get away from Ni-ya, away from the emotions that threatened to make him go mad. The next he felt soft but slightly chapped lips against his.
Ni-ya was kissing him.
His eyes closed on their own volition as he gasped again, falling limp in Ni-ya’s arms.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Sakito?” Ni-ya’s voice was very far away for some reason. It sounded like the bassist was screaming at him from the other side of Mt. Fuji.
But the voice was so insistent he thought there might be something wrong. Feeling like he was buried in sand, he began to push against the feeling of being dragged down and having nothing to hold him steady, digging himself out to reach Ni-ya’s voice.
He opened bleary eyes to see the worried look on Ni-ya’s face.
“What happened?” before he could finish the sentence his mind had already produced the answer.
In a night of passionate lovemaking, Ni-ya had told him he loved him and he finally realized that he was in love with Ni-ya. He’d fainted because his mind hadn’t been able to process what his heart had known all along.
As though burned he yanked away from the bassist immediately feeling like a jerk for seeing the hurt look on the raven’s handsome features.
He saw Ni-ya hesitate momentarily, searching for something in Sakito’s face. He didn’t know if the bassist found it or not because with a slight nod Ni-ya turned away from him and left the room.
The look on Ni-ya’s eyes, the hard shut-off look would haunt him for days.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
please tell me what you think! review with cookies!!