(no subject)
I don't know if it's a plea for attention or what, but lately I have been missing Lydia a lot. I can't believe I am saying this, and it is something I will not dare tell anybody because for once I have a secret that I want to keep. And no, not because I want her again, but I miss her as a friend believe it or not. For 2 years she was the one that could comfort me and make everything better when the rest of the world seemed like shit. However much she messed me around she did have that talent of making me feel okay. And right now things still seem shit with the whole Laura situation. A post on Facebook earlier simply said 'I fucking love my life'. She still hasn't replied to me or spoken to me, so she is actively trying to avoid me. Something I need to accept but it's taking time. Fair enough she doesn't want me. And i cant stop thinking about laura pretty much every 5 minutes of every day. But whilst it's taking time I feel like I have no friends HERE. I know I have friends and they are great, but in Liverpool I have Olly and mat, and no matter how great they are at times they're not what I need right now. For about two weeks I have been occasionally missing Lydia and thinking how weird it would be to just go for a drink and catch up. Just til this whole Laura thing calms down. Don't get me wrong, I never would dare contact Lydia again, I could never tell anyone I missed her because it was such a hard ordeal to shut her out of my life, and also....I am too stubborn to ever admit I actually miss her.
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