(no subject)
feels like time for another update...not because ive not updated for ages or not moaned enough recently, but because today is a day I would like to remember. I was the text the most amazing news this morning which I received half way through my day of work. Dave proposed to Jess and they are engaged!!! Thats out of this world....I feel soooo happy for the both of them. Until they visited recently I never really thought of the two of them as a couple because I'd never been exposed to it and witnessed it. But when I saw it first hand it just seemed to make sense. Two people that enjoy each others company and that just seem to work. I'm jealous because I know I want something like that in life. But that will hopefully be down the line....this is now! Two of my best friends are engaged and happy and thats just so cool. That is why I am updating, because today is a memory which I do not want to forget.
My day has been long hard work, but fun. I am getting on well with everyone. Gaz drove me down to exeter yesterday and I met 'knocka' and John, and we got pretty wasted and what not. Today we rigged for the show tomorrow and its gone pretty well, despite a lot of obstacles. I dont know how well I have done in their minds but they seem to like me for now. Theres talk of a gig when I get back from Egypt so thats promising. And the job doesnt seem too complicated. Today has been hard graft tho due to the lack of local crew. But it is making me feel proud of what I have achieved. I look at everything and think I genuinely made all of this happen, not as a box pusher or being told what to do, but because I am working as an equal. And that makes me proud I have gotten to this stage. I got an email today asking if I could come in for a casual chat with Sound by Design / Delta down in london (I emailed them at least 6 months ago, maybe even a year), so thats making me feel good aswell about my career. And I am doing mons on V Festival next week, normally I would be down for doing stage and patch, but because Smee wants a break from mons he has asked me if I want to do it, which is a big opportunity and good fun (hopefully). So my career is feeling a bit more positive lately.
Now on to the stupidity of the day...last night I was wasted, this morning I woke up confused and not thinking.....and I may have text loz. 'I know you may not want to hear this, but I thought I'd tell you anyway.....I still miss you x'
I am actually not helping myself here. She hasnt replied, and I know she has been on facebook and must have read it. However I saw her status this evening that read 'Need to stop thinking before i go insane... time to drink.' I can only assume that would be about what I said as she has been 'sooo happy' recently. The fact that it is making her think maybe means she hasnt lost all feeling for me completely. Which I guess is something, all I wanted to know is that she hasnt forgotten about me or doesnt genuinely think about me that little. Dont get me wrong, she hasnt replied, so she doesnt want anything or isnt that interested in responding, but at least if I say something, she cant just let it go and put it out of her mind. I guess I just have to take comfort in that and wait out this moving on thing. I just feel stupid for sending that message, i dont want to be that guy that clings on once its ended that becomes just the annoying loser that she wishes wouldnt pester her. I have more dignity than that surely. Theres a photo on facebook that drives me wild and I wish she would delete it. How do you stop yourself thinking of someone first thing when you wake up....when its in your subconscious. I mean we have no control of our dreams and our first thoughts....and she is the first thing I think about EVERYDAY! Still!
My day has been long hard work, but fun. I am getting on well with everyone. Gaz drove me down to exeter yesterday and I met 'knocka' and John, and we got pretty wasted and what not. Today we rigged for the show tomorrow and its gone pretty well, despite a lot of obstacles. I dont know how well I have done in their minds but they seem to like me for now. Theres talk of a gig when I get back from Egypt so thats promising. And the job doesnt seem too complicated. Today has been hard graft tho due to the lack of local crew. But it is making me feel proud of what I have achieved. I look at everything and think I genuinely made all of this happen, not as a box pusher or being told what to do, but because I am working as an equal. And that makes me proud I have gotten to this stage. I got an email today asking if I could come in for a casual chat with Sound by Design / Delta down in london (I emailed them at least 6 months ago, maybe even a year), so thats making me feel good aswell about my career. And I am doing mons on V Festival next week, normally I would be down for doing stage and patch, but because Smee wants a break from mons he has asked me if I want to do it, which is a big opportunity and good fun (hopefully). So my career is feeling a bit more positive lately.
Now on to the stupidity of the day...last night I was wasted, this morning I woke up confused and not thinking.....and I may have text loz. 'I know you may not want to hear this, but I thought I'd tell you anyway.....I still miss you x'
I am actually not helping myself here. She hasnt replied, and I know she has been on facebook and must have read it. However I saw her status this evening that read 'Need to stop thinking before i go insane... time to drink.' I can only assume that would be about what I said as she has been 'sooo happy' recently. The fact that it is making her think maybe means she hasnt lost all feeling for me completely. Which I guess is something, all I wanted to know is that she hasnt forgotten about me or doesnt genuinely think about me that little. Dont get me wrong, she hasnt replied, so she doesnt want anything or isnt that interested in responding, but at least if I say something, she cant just let it go and put it out of her mind. I guess I just have to take comfort in that and wait out this moving on thing. I just feel stupid for sending that message, i dont want to be that guy that clings on once its ended that becomes just the annoying loser that she wishes wouldnt pester her. I have more dignity than that surely. Theres a photo on facebook that drives me wild and I wish she would delete it. How do you stop yourself thinking of someone first thing when you wake up....when its in your subconscious. I mean we have no control of our dreams and our first thoughts....and she is the first thing I think about EVERYDAY! Still!