(no subject)
Today I went for a lovely walk because tomorrow I'm going to get the first dose of the vaccine and according to all my friends who don't have anemia like I do it basically wipes you out for a few days. Exhaustion, muscle pains, headaches, low grade fever. All my friends have been able to function through it, but then these people also usually don't need to take a month off every winter because of the common cold, and I very much do because anemia.
So, I'm not looking forward to a couple of days of... all that. I hate feeling unproductive and tired and sick and sore even when I can't see it coming. With the anticipation built in, it feels even shittier.
I could have gotten the vaccine on Thursday, but I had plans that day, and plans on Friday (which were mostly to RELAX and watch shows with flatmate R. all day, and I didn't cancel my one "day off" when I could just be chill and enjoy myself to go get the vaccine and then feel like crap). There were no appointments for Saturday by the time I was singing up, and so, Sunday.
Still, it's meant that I've had days to reflect on getting the vaccine, this point of no return, at which I might have various side effects, when most people I know were either unable to get it or had appointments for less than 12 hours from the moment they decided they wanted to get it.
Anyway, obviously it won't be effective right away, and even like 6 weeks from now when it is FULLY effective it'll still be effective at only 95% and you never know which percent you fall into. And all of these endless disclaimers.
But the bottom line is, 11 months ago the plague of a century changed my life entirely, changed the world entirely, and now, tomorrow, I'll be taking the first step to truly stop its progress. I'm more scared than I thought I'd be!
All these logistical things - I'll need to take off my sweater to let them jab my upper arm, and the thing is happening at a parking lot and it's January. I've had a runny nose for the past couple of days, what if that coupled with my anemia knocks me out for like a month? God it was so nice to have ONE WINTER without being completely debilitated by colds/flu.
What if 20 years from now [insert vaccine safety conspiracy here]?
Sigh. Deep breath. I worked out by feelings today by walking outside for a few hours, ordering take out and writing some porn.
I can do this. We can all do this. We have to do this so the world can someday resume again.
So, vaccine tomorrow. Wish me luck braving the days of blah that follow!
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So, I'm not looking forward to a couple of days of... all that. I hate feeling unproductive and tired and sick and sore even when I can't see it coming. With the anticipation built in, it feels even shittier.
I could have gotten the vaccine on Thursday, but I had plans that day, and plans on Friday (which were mostly to RELAX and watch shows with flatmate R. all day, and I didn't cancel my one "day off" when I could just be chill and enjoy myself to go get the vaccine and then feel like crap). There were no appointments for Saturday by the time I was singing up, and so, Sunday.
Still, it's meant that I've had days to reflect on getting the vaccine, this point of no return, at which I might have various side effects, when most people I know were either unable to get it or had appointments for less than 12 hours from the moment they decided they wanted to get it.
Anyway, obviously it won't be effective right away, and even like 6 weeks from now when it is FULLY effective it'll still be effective at only 95% and you never know which percent you fall into. And all of these endless disclaimers.
But the bottom line is, 11 months ago the plague of a century changed my life entirely, changed the world entirely, and now, tomorrow, I'll be taking the first step to truly stop its progress. I'm more scared than I thought I'd be!
All these logistical things - I'll need to take off my sweater to let them jab my upper arm, and the thing is happening at a parking lot and it's January. I've had a runny nose for the past couple of days, what if that coupled with my anemia knocks me out for like a month? God it was so nice to have ONE WINTER without being completely debilitated by colds/flu.
What if 20 years from now [insert vaccine safety conspiracy here]?
Sigh. Deep breath. I worked out by feelings today by walking outside for a few hours, ordering take out and writing some porn.
I can do this. We can all do this. We have to do this so the world can someday resume again.
So, vaccine tomorrow. Wish me luck braving the days of blah that follow!
comments on Dreamwidth