*punches red tape*
This was written mostly as a play by play today. Thank God, I had my computer.
I need to get my CNA license renewed. I have been sitting here in the State Board of Nursing since 1pm. It is now 2:30pm. The clock says 1:45 but it said 1:45 back in January when I came here the last time.
I don’t trust it.
You would think that someone would invest in a freakin’ battery for the clock that sits prominently over the window.
There were 20 people ahead of me. There are 18 chairs. At least 10 kids. Some screaming. Some just wandering around. Some that smell like they need their diapers changed. One little girl turns to her mom? He *little girl points to drooling baby* smells like PEE. Honey, I think, be thankful you are not smelling the baby sitting next to me.
Mom to another little kid: Git your shoes on.
Little kid: *ignores mom and dances barefoot around the waiting room, lifting her shirt and smearing up the windows with spit*
There are people having personal phone calls while they wait. Not just a quick, “Honey, I’ll be home when Hell freezes over, this place is really busy!” No, I am learning far too much. I really don’t want to know about your personal life. Go ahead and text each other or take it outside…okay?
There are people arguing with the one lone representative. You have the wrong address - I don’t know why my license expired? - How much longer do I have to wait? She is trying desperately to help people but you can tell she is at the end of her rope. “But ma’am…I have a question…” EVEN IF YOU HAVE A QUESTION…TAKE A NUMBER AND A SEAT.
Fuck me.
I finally get seen and am promptly told my “original” receipt (it is the bank ticker tape receipt) from the fingerprinting people is not the “original” receipt they need. Also, I need to have a notarized paper stating that I got my CNA less than six months ago and am not working as a CNA right now, that I am a student. Of course, THE BOARD KNOWS THIS, THEY GAVE ME THE LICENSE.
So I pack up my shit and drive to the finger printing place. The line is so long that there are chairs lined up in the hallway. Still I wait in a somewhat shorter line and have them give me another receipt. It will not be the same one, but it does say that it is from the fingerprinting place. Hopefully it will work. I ask the fingerprinting people if they have a notary. They don't but maybe the Bank of America?
I drive to the bank and wait in another line for the notary. Another 20 mins and then they are happy to help me! Can I give them my id and bank card. Sure! But I don’t bank here. Sorry, we can’t notarize anything unless you are an account holder. I ask them if there is anyplace nearby where there might be a notary? There is the PURSE STORE around the corner. That sounds shady to me. A notary at a place that sells accessories? But I try to find the purse store. I have no luck. I drive across the street and find a lawyer that says right in the window NOTARY. I walk in and no one is around. I bellow HELLOO. Finally someone comes out. Notary? Nope she has left for the day but you can walk down to State Farm. Sometimes they have a notary. Walk to State Farm and the notary is about ready to leave. I beg. He takes pity on me and notarizes my scrap of paper that states what the Board already knows and then head back to the Board.
I ask if I need to take another number, of course I do. I am number 93, they are on 76. It is now 3:47. There is a big sign that says they don’t print anything out after 4:30 although the office is open till 5pm. Which means that if I am able to get my certificate renewed they won’t print it out before me if it is at4:31. I say a silent prayer to get called back up to the window before 4:30!
Now there is another kid behind me with keys. Jumping and slamming the keys all over the place. With a drink box. HiC splashing everywhere. Kid is spinning in circles jingling.
Jingle. Jingle. Jingle. I think I am going to die. Finally, blessedly, I get called up and they take my id, my application, my 40 bucks (money order - can’t use a real check), my original receipt for finger printing, my NOTARY chicken scratched paper.
“Well, everything appears to be in order, Saberivojo. Please take a seat and we will print out your certificate.”
(Waits another 15 minutes and manages to avoid the twirling, jingling HiC swilling girl) They call me up and hand me a piece of paper.
You will be on-line in two days and this is good for two years.
If I am not a nurse this time next year, I may have to hurt somebody.
I need to get my CNA license renewed. I have been sitting here in the State Board of Nursing since 1pm. It is now 2:30pm. The clock says 1:45 but it said 1:45 back in January when I came here the last time.
I don’t trust it.
You would think that someone would invest in a freakin’ battery for the clock that sits prominently over the window.
There were 20 people ahead of me. There are 18 chairs. At least 10 kids. Some screaming. Some just wandering around. Some that smell like they need their diapers changed. One little girl turns to her mom? He *little girl points to drooling baby* smells like PEE. Honey, I think, be thankful you are not smelling the baby sitting next to me.
Mom to another little kid: Git your shoes on.
Little kid: *ignores mom and dances barefoot around the waiting room, lifting her shirt and smearing up the windows with spit*
There are people having personal phone calls while they wait. Not just a quick, “Honey, I’ll be home when Hell freezes over, this place is really busy!” No, I am learning far too much. I really don’t want to know about your personal life. Go ahead and text each other or take it outside…okay?
There are people arguing with the one lone representative. You have the wrong address - I don’t know why my license expired? - How much longer do I have to wait? She is trying desperately to help people but you can tell she is at the end of her rope. “But ma’am…I have a question…” EVEN IF YOU HAVE A QUESTION…TAKE A NUMBER AND A SEAT.
Fuck me.
I finally get seen and am promptly told my “original” receipt (it is the bank ticker tape receipt) from the fingerprinting people is not the “original” receipt they need. Also, I need to have a notarized paper stating that I got my CNA less than six months ago and am not working as a CNA right now, that I am a student. Of course, THE BOARD KNOWS THIS, THEY GAVE ME THE LICENSE.
So I pack up my shit and drive to the finger printing place. The line is so long that there are chairs lined up in the hallway. Still I wait in a somewhat shorter line and have them give me another receipt. It will not be the same one, but it does say that it is from the fingerprinting place. Hopefully it will work. I ask the fingerprinting people if they have a notary. They don't but maybe the Bank of America?
I drive to the bank and wait in another line for the notary. Another 20 mins and then they are happy to help me! Can I give them my id and bank card. Sure! But I don’t bank here. Sorry, we can’t notarize anything unless you are an account holder. I ask them if there is anyplace nearby where there might be a notary? There is the PURSE STORE around the corner. That sounds shady to me. A notary at a place that sells accessories? But I try to find the purse store. I have no luck. I drive across the street and find a lawyer that says right in the window NOTARY. I walk in and no one is around. I bellow HELLOO. Finally someone comes out. Notary? Nope she has left for the day but you can walk down to State Farm. Sometimes they have a notary. Walk to State Farm and the notary is about ready to leave. I beg. He takes pity on me and notarizes my scrap of paper that states what the Board already knows and then head back to the Board.
I ask if I need to take another number, of course I do. I am number 93, they are on 76. It is now 3:47. There is a big sign that says they don’t print anything out after 4:30 although the office is open till 5pm. Which means that if I am able to get my certificate renewed they won’t print it out before me if it is at4:31. I say a silent prayer to get called back up to the window before 4:30!
Now there is another kid behind me with keys. Jumping and slamming the keys all over the place. With a drink box. HiC splashing everywhere. Kid is spinning in circles jingling.
Jingle. Jingle. Jingle. I think I am going to die. Finally, blessedly, I get called up and they take my id, my application, my 40 bucks (money order - can’t use a real check), my original receipt for finger printing, my NOTARY chicken scratched paper.
“Well, everything appears to be in order, Saberivojo. Please take a seat and we will print out your certificate.”
(Waits another 15 minutes and manages to avoid the twirling, jingling HiC swilling girl) They call me up and hand me a piece of paper.
You will be on-line in two days and this is good for two years.
If I am not a nurse this time next year, I may have to hurt somebody.