1. Grammar/spelling optional.
2. Understanding of actual furniture history/style trends optional. Gross misunderstanding of same preferred.
Quaint: Small. Old, or so ugly and/or beat-up as to look that way.
Great (also Beautiful, Fantastic, Awesome, etc.): FUGLY.
Pet-free/smoke free home: I'm better than you.
Vintage: old and beat-up;
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