Craigslist Lingo Primer
1. Grammar/spelling optional.
2. Understanding of actual furniture history/style trends optional. Gross misunderstanding of same preferred.
Quaint: Small. Old, or so ugly and/or beat-up as to look that way.
Great (also Beautiful, Fantastic, Awesome, etc.): FUGLY.
Pet-free/smoke free home: I'm better than you.
Vintage: old and beat-up; usually acquired via either pity hand-me-down or dumpster diving.
Detailed description of how YOU! might use the item: item is a piece of crap and requires a sales pitch.
Unique: WTF. (also often indicates item is handcrafted (see below) or "art").
Disclosure of how much seller originally paid for item: failure to understand concept behind Craigslist and/or target market motivation.
Elegant: nursing home/gynecologist's office salvage.
Funky: see "unique"
Second item included for free: oh please god get this nasty crap out of my house.
In great/good/excellent condition: + "...for it's age/abuse endured."
Shabby Chic: fucked up white paint job
OBO (or best offer): see "second item included"
LISTING TITLE IN ALL CAPS: maybe someone will buy it this time.
Item is a hospital bed or other hospital equipment: someone died in it recently.
Handcrafted: 1. built incorrectly by an amateur carpenter 2. see "great"
Emphasis on color of item (e.g. "BLUE!!! chair"): this is the only thing the item has going for it.
Must sell soon/now/etc.: 1. seller is moving out of state and is completely disorganized/unprepared 2. see "second item"
Antique: 1. Mass-produced cheap crap from the 60s 2. purchased at World Market 2 years ago
Rant against a seller disguised as item listing: troll
Only, reduced price, etc.: seller is asking twice what the item is actually worth and doesn't understand why it hasn't sold yet.
Still/new in box: 2oz of cardboard and plastic is worth three times the value of the actual item being sold.
~*~!!!!!{{{{OMG}}}}*** etc.: seller has not has his/her meds today.
Brought to you today by caffeine, boredom, and the letter F.
.
2. Understanding of actual furniture history/style trends optional. Gross misunderstanding of same preferred.
Quaint: Small. Old, or so ugly and/or beat-up as to look that way.
Great (also Beautiful, Fantastic, Awesome, etc.): FUGLY.
Pet-free/smoke free home: I'm better than you.
Vintage: old and beat-up; usually acquired via either pity hand-me-down or dumpster diving.
Detailed description of how YOU! might use the item: item is a piece of crap and requires a sales pitch.
Unique: WTF. (also often indicates item is handcrafted (see below) or "art").
Disclosure of how much seller originally paid for item: failure to understand concept behind Craigslist and/or target market motivation.
Elegant: nursing home/gynecologist's office salvage.
Funky: see "unique"
Second item included for free: oh please god get this nasty crap out of my house.
In great/good/excellent condition: + "...for it's age/abuse endured."
Shabby Chic: fucked up white paint job
OBO (or best offer): see "second item included"
LISTING TITLE IN ALL CAPS: maybe someone will buy it this time.
Item is a hospital bed or other hospital equipment: someone died in it recently.
Handcrafted: 1. built incorrectly by an amateur carpenter 2. see "great"
Emphasis on color of item (e.g. "BLUE!!! chair"): this is the only thing the item has going for it.
Must sell soon/now/etc.: 1. seller is moving out of state and is completely disorganized/unprepared 2. see "second item"
Antique: 1. Mass-produced cheap crap from the 60s 2. purchased at World Market 2 years ago
Rant against a seller disguised as item listing: troll
Only, reduced price, etc.: seller is asking twice what the item is actually worth and doesn't understand why it hasn't sold yet.
Still/new in box: 2oz of cardboard and plastic is worth three times the value of the actual item being sold.
~*~!!!!!{{{{OMG}}}}*** etc.: seller has not has his/her meds today.
Brought to you today by caffeine, boredom, and the letter F.
.