The Young, The Restless, and Me
I don't know why on earth people trust me with their secrets. I've told you people many times: I am addicted to gossip like people are addicted to crack cocaine, or heroin. In fact, I spend about 85 percent of my time at work gossiping. I then go home and gossip some more.
I've also told you people, I am greedy, selfish, evil, sadistic, and possibly have no soul. Please do not trust your secrets with me, they are not safe.
One time, years and years ago when I worked at the mall, this one guy told me in confidence that he was some sort of peeping tom who liked to expose himself in public. He made me promise not to tell. I told everyone I knew.
Why must people torture me with their most salacious, scandalous secrets, then cry and say, "Oh please don't tell. If Jerry ever finds out about that time I went up to that dwarf's hotel room..."
Your secrets eat away at my soul. The fact that your baby daddy is also your brother in law? grrrr...I'm gonna have to tell someone, or i'm gonna explode.
I've also told you people, I am greedy, selfish, evil, sadistic, and possibly have no soul. Please do not trust your secrets with me, they are not safe.
One time, years and years ago when I worked at the mall, this one guy told me in confidence that he was some sort of peeping tom who liked to expose himself in public. He made me promise not to tell. I told everyone I knew.
Why must people torture me with their most salacious, scandalous secrets, then cry and say, "Oh please don't tell. If Jerry ever finds out about that time I went up to that dwarf's hotel room..."
Your secrets eat away at my soul. The fact that your baby daddy is also your brother in law? grrrr...I'm gonna have to tell someone, or i'm gonna explode.