(no subject)
The last few days have been rough, because long story short my brother has totally gone off the deep end and I may end up with custody of his four year old daughter. *sigh* This is not ideal for me as honestly I'm just holding it together as much as I can for our own kids. I don't need anymore stress. But I feel like I don't have a choice and we'll make it work. blargh.
The good news of the day is I finally came out to our oldest daughter as transgender. I expected tears and a long conversation about it, but instead when I asked if it bothered her that I was trans, she said, "Nope." That was it. LOL I told her we can talk about it anytime she wants if she has questions or concerns. It was actually a really natural conversation and I don't think it could have gone any better. Later in the night Jack was saying, "Get me dinner woman!" And Ariel corrected her and said, "That would be, "Get me dinner dude or man!" So glad she doesn't have a problem with the pronoun changes. But I still refer to myself as mom like they do or mommy. I want things to be as easy as possible for them, so they can call me mom/mommy as long as they want too. I think changing to daddy could get confusing for them, but they call me Russty or Russ sometimes so that is nice.
I was also texting B tonight while he was on his dinner break and he called me his boyfriend again. And said something about me that was very masculine when referring to my body. (I don't want to repeat it word for word since it's kind of private and I'd hate it if he stopped doing it , because he thought I might repeat it for others.) It was such a cool moment feeling like OMG he's totally getting on board with things and seems really comfortable. Yay!
We're still waiting for an appointment with the doctor to find out about HRT for me. I finally called the therapist and let her know they hadn't called me back yet, so hopefully she'll get on their case. It shouldn't take them two weeks to call me. I guess I got spoiled before when I got a call the next day for stuff. I'd just feel better if I knew when the appointment was, so I can sort of relax about it till then. But part of me is like I want hormones NOW! It's not an instant fix, so I want it started like yesterday.
The farther along we get in all of this the more I really want to have top surgery to remove my breasts. B really doesn't want me too or at least he didn't at first, but then I pointed out with my family history of cancer and tumors that it would be a good pre-emptive thing to do. I would stop worrying so much about getting breast cancer. But we'll see. I would have to live full time as a man for a year before they would approve the top surgery. And I can't even imagine what it would cost. I have good insurance but I imagine it would still be in the $7,000 to 10,000 area. I might have to save up for a few years before I could have it done. But who knows B may never be okay with that and I will not risk loosing him.
The good news of the day is I finally came out to our oldest daughter as transgender. I expected tears and a long conversation about it, but instead when I asked if it bothered her that I was trans, she said, "Nope." That was it. LOL I told her we can talk about it anytime she wants if she has questions or concerns. It was actually a really natural conversation and I don't think it could have gone any better. Later in the night Jack was saying, "Get me dinner woman!" And Ariel corrected her and said, "That would be, "Get me dinner dude or man!" So glad she doesn't have a problem with the pronoun changes. But I still refer to myself as mom like they do or mommy. I want things to be as easy as possible for them, so they can call me mom/mommy as long as they want too. I think changing to daddy could get confusing for them, but they call me Russty or Russ sometimes so that is nice.
I was also texting B tonight while he was on his dinner break and he called me his boyfriend again. And said something about me that was very masculine when referring to my body. (I don't want to repeat it word for word since it's kind of private and I'd hate it if he stopped doing it , because he thought I might repeat it for others.) It was such a cool moment feeling like OMG he's totally getting on board with things and seems really comfortable. Yay!
We're still waiting for an appointment with the doctor to find out about HRT for me. I finally called the therapist and let her know they hadn't called me back yet, so hopefully she'll get on their case. It shouldn't take them two weeks to call me. I guess I got spoiled before when I got a call the next day for stuff. I'd just feel better if I knew when the appointment was, so I can sort of relax about it till then. But part of me is like I want hormones NOW! It's not an instant fix, so I want it started like yesterday.
The farther along we get in all of this the more I really want to have top surgery to remove my breasts. B really doesn't want me too or at least he didn't at first, but then I pointed out with my family history of cancer and tumors that it would be a good pre-emptive thing to do. I would stop worrying so much about getting breast cancer. But we'll see. I would have to live full time as a man for a year before they would approve the top surgery. And I can't even imagine what it would cost. I have good insurance but I imagine it would still be in the $7,000 to 10,000 area. I might have to save up for a few years before I could have it done. But who knows B may never be okay with that and I will not risk loosing him.