An Accident of Hope

[rubybegonia]

How much can really be said in a kiss? How much can be learned from a glance, a touch, a whisper? I vacillate between the idea of love being all consuming and love simply not existing. As an artist I need that rush, I need that uncertainty that love and loss bring. I never knew who I was, until I found my fear. Until I spent a moment alone with myself. I never understood how I could be loved. I never wanted pain. I only wanted quiet vulnerability. Comfortable heartache. The heart itself doesn't feel pain. It's the brain, that imagines the twisting in your chest. And heartache is rather, refreshing. It's not painful, it is the ache you feel for someone. The desire to be close, to be held, to be loved. Consumed.

Let me be the starting point
the last, best chance.
Arrange me into your pocket
Push me back, let me stand.
You offer words that I can't touch
feelings I can't help but miss
to love this sullen girl so much
summed up in one kiss