Misery Loves Company

[rubybegonia]

We are on a "break". We have broken up. We decided that it would be a good idea to break up for 2 weeks to get a handle on what we really wanted. We decided to reconvene in 2 weeks to see if more time is needed. I was concerned about the blatant co-dependence and insecurity he had, he was concerned I did not love him enough. I am concerned that he will disappear, that I will never find my "true love". For shits and giggles I even went to eharmony.com and took their personality profile and they told me that they couldn't even find someone to match me with. I have dreamed all my life about finding someone that loved me and wanted to marry me and now I have had 2 people feel that way in the past 6 months and I have left both of them. Maybe no one will ever be good enough, maybe my standards are too high, maybe that feeling of love always goes away after the "honeymoon" stage and people just learn to deal with it.

I am now without pretense
the blank canvas on your floor
dishes, not purchased,
still on the shelf at the store
for a kitchen unfinished
a leaky faucet overlooked
the dust that accumulates
on the shelves of your books
love not fully actualized
time that stands still
the magazine girl you wanted
in the corner, popping pills.