The One Where Everything Went Wrong

[usedkunai]

Who: Everyone in the Breeding Centre House!
Where: ...The Breeding Centre House; Assorted areas of Goldenrod City
When: Evening of October 29th into early morning October 30th, beginning about a half hour after THIS post.
Summary: Souji and Yosuke have a fight! All over the house! In front of everyone! And then things happen and Yosuke wanders

Comments

THE NEXT DAY

[usedkunai]

now with more accurate locations

[usedkunai]

[He's been out all night; he ultimately had decided against staying at the inn or the Pokémon Center. They had their appeals, but it was easier to avoid people if they couldn't find him.]

[It's eating him alive though. He has nothing -- no Pokémon, no music. Absolutely nothing to give him any semblance of normalcy. Sunlight is beginning to peek through the spaces between Goldenrod's skyscrapers, and Yosuke thinks now is the time.]

[Everyone - Souji included - should be asleep now. But it doesn't matter; if anyone is awake, he's going to have to deal with him. It's bad enough any of them came running after him when he stormed out earlier. He doesn't feel he deserves it, not a single thing. But going back to the house also meant seeing Souji... and that's the absolute last thing he wants right now. The guilt is crushing his chest, but fear of the truth is driving him more

[usedeverything]

[ Throughout the night, Souji has been doing nothing but beating himself up and feeling guiltily over that fight, that kiss. He regrets letting his anger out of control like that, saying harsh words in retaliation to Yosuke's. He regrets that he has done that in front of everyone to see- for Nanako to see. He regrets everything and just staying any longer in that house is reminding him of that fact. That's why he has slipped out in the middle of the night to head next doors, back to the Breeding Centre

[usedkunai]

[Seeing Souji at the top of the stairs, Yosuke freezes immediately. It's the last person he expects to see here. He wants nothing more than to turn around, go back down the stairs and go somewhere else. He's not sure he's ready to face this, despite the feelings that are overcoming him, that have been eating him alive throughout the entire night

[usedeverything]

[ He takes notice that Yosuke looks a lot worse than he has imagined. It's not like he has expected roses and daisies, but his hair, eyes, cheeks, everything just looks wrong and it kills something inside of him to know that he's the cause of it. Bad move, Seta, and look at how it has affected everyone. How is he going to live that down now? ]

[ He too lowers his head and finds his Espeon rather interesting. She hasn't moved from her spot, but rather looks back up at her trainer, asking on what it should do. Should she go help or do nothing? Well, if Souji can't decide on what to for himself, how can he decide for his Pokemon. It's just completely awkward, but at the very least, he owes an apology and like hell is he going to make it half-assed. ]

[ It takes him half a minute to do so, but he looks back down at Yosuke and speaks up to break the awkward silence; ] Sorry about last night... about everything.

[usedkunai]

[His silence is stunned, if for no other reason than being completely shocked. His grip loosens from the banister, turning so he can shakily sit on the stairs. His head droops and shakes.]

It's my fault. [He starts, but then falls silent again. He needs to find the words, to find some of that tact he'd developed. Saying the right thing now is the most crucial thing -- they've had their spats before, but it's never been like this. Never so venomous, so resentful. Not to mention some of the things that were said that other people never needed to hear. But finally, he manages to choke out a few words.] I... I seriously overreacted. You don't have to tell me that kind of stuff, it's not like-- ["We're married or something," but that turn of phrase is the last one that needs to be used in this situation.] ...you're obligated to.

[He falls quiet again, chewing on his lower lip. Yosuke thought he'd cried himself out well and good amidst the panic attack he had last night, but he can still feel his eyes welling up. Everyone -- Merlin, Rise

[usedeverything]

[ Souji isn't quite ready to bring up that event either, so he's glad that Yosuke hasn't said anything about it. He knows that it's something that has to be address and one that he needs to both apologize and explain about, but right now, they just need to take things one at a time. ]

[ He stays at the top of the stairs until a few seconds after Yosuke has finished speaking, he slowly walks down the stairs, deciding to sit two steps above him. Sitting right beside him is probably not a great idea, especially with proving that the crush is not one-sided. The last thing that Souji needs is to give off the wrong impression or anything. ]

[ With the other having his back turned, Souji doesn't have a clue that Yosuke is starting to tear up, at least for now. ] No, you were right.

I should have told you weeks ago about the trip and-- [ He takes a deep breath here. It's always hard admitting that part of him, the part where he feels like he should be the strong leader, the one that everyone turns to. It's been hard to admit to Merlin, it

[usedkunai]

[He's glad that Souji keeps his distance, and is more so glad that they're still facing away from each other. He's not ready for eye contact; on top of that, his breathing completely stops for a brief moment, hearing those words come from Souji.]

[Souji, the one who refused any help when he was alone with no resources in a freezing cave. He was admitting this. He was acknowledging that Yosuke said something that was right, that was true. Yosuke knew this, and he's not the only one who's noticed. But... they say admitting the problem is the first step to fixing it, right?]

[It doesn't stop his eyes from being wide, and it doesn't stop a few silent tears from spilling over. It's much more subdued than before. Though his pulse is racing and he feels like his heart is in his stomach - and that his stomach is in his throat - he doesn't feel as if he's going to break down. He can't right now, it wouldn't be good for either of them.] It's just... you can lean on us. I mean, shit, Souji. We're supposed to be equals.

[He pauses again,

[usedeverything]

[ Right, "partners". That's what they are. They've been partners from the beginning of the murder case and equals after the fight at Samegawa riverbed. That whole fight has been to prove that they're equals, but really, has Souji ever been a proper equal, especially since coming to Johto and setting up the centre? ]

[ Souji shifts on the step of the stair, the wood beneath him creaking loudly in the awkward silence. Falling into that other topic, the one that has put the most tension between them right now, it's not something that he wants to bring up right now. Of course, it does need to be addressed sooner or later, but he wants to get everything else out of the way first. ]

...Do you remember the event with the Shedinjas stealing souls? [ This may seem completely irrelevant to their topic at hand, but Souji will connect it shortly. ]

[usedkunai]

[Despite everything, especially how much he doesn't want to look Souji in the eye right now, his head whips around when he says that. His brow furrows, a mix of frustration and confusion. Yosuke didn't have a clue what this could possibly have to do with... well, everything else.]

Yeah... [His expressions falls slightly though. It's something he can't forget, not with what he failed to do before it, or what he was forced to realize in that... coma.] What about it? That's... got nothing to do with this.

[usedeverything]

[ Souji takes a breath and doesn't look at Yosuke in the eyes but down at his shoes. ]

That's the reason why I'm heading to Cianwood. Being all the way in the Ice Path while you and Rise have been knocked out, not able to do anything; having everyone call me and panicking because we didn't know what to do. [ He pauses, recalling the details of that moment. Back when he has to put on his Leader persona and try to be the calm one of the group, even if he has become to feel sick with worry. ] I don't want that to happen again and the faster I get the badges, the better prepared I am.

[ Then there's that thing that Souji has been hiding; one that Yosuke probably knows all too well by now, just what Souji has been hiding away for six whole months behind little coffee cups. ]

[usedkunai]

[There's nothing but silence at first, Yosuke's eyes going wide as he begins to process Souji's words. That -- that was really what this had been about, all this time? His hand clasps over his mouth and he turns back, facing away from Souji like he originally had been.]

Y-you... you idiot...

[But when he says it, there's something almost wry about his tone, a stifled, mocking chuckle to it. Stupid. He may be the leader, and he may be the glue that holds the team together... but sometimes he is just so stupid. Not that Yosuke is any less stupid, and he knows that, but...]

[It takes him a minute to find the words, or rather, to find his voice to say the words.] Why -- why didn't you just say that?

[usedeverything]

[ Souji pauses for a few seconds before giving a weak shrug, not like Yosuke can even see it with his back turned against him. It takes another five seconds before he actually says something; ]

Heat of the moment, I guess. Also-- [ Another pause, looming over the thoughts that have been on his mind for the past few months, all the way back to his Shadow encounters, his biggest flaws. ] I guess that means I have to admit my... weakness, never wanting to be the imperfect leader...

[usedkunai]

We can take care of ourselves, you know. I mean... yeah, it's always better with you leading us, but we pulled through. Mostly. [Had that Shedinja thing not happened, they would've!!] But anyways, that's not the point. You're... you're just so stupid sometimes, Souji.

Aren't... aren't you the one who accepted everyone despite their weaknesses? We'd do the same for you. You can't be perfect, and it pisses me off that you try to be.

[It definitely makes him feel not good enough sometimes, and with all these other feelings circulating in him, it's only brought him down some when it's come up in thought.]

[usedeverything]

[ That makes Souji turn silent and he uncomfortably shifts on his seat on the steps, making it groan underneath his weight. ]

Yeah... Sorry. I suppose I just need a good punch to keep that in mind. [ Because he does this so many times, always pushing himself until he falls ill. It's not an easy habit for him to break and he knows this. He will really have to have a reminder about this now and then. ]

[usedkunai]

[He sighs, running a hand through his hair. This isn't getting any easier; but he nods as well.] I'll remember that next time.

We're equals. Don't forget that.