Changes...
Found out yesterday that a colleague is leaving for a nice shiny new job - based on work that he and I did together. My first thought was 'bully for you!' and I was just overwhelmed with frustration that he's moving on to new things based on that work but I'm still stuck. I don't begrudge him the move, of course. Nor do I think he's taken credit for the work I put in - it was a true collaboration where neither could have achieved what we did without the other. But he's got a new job and I haven't.
I don't want to be one of those people who moans about always being left behind when they haven't made any effort themselves to make a difference to their situation. I have tried - and tried - and tried. I've talked to the right people, I've developed my skills and qualifications, I've applied for stuff... And all roads lead back to where I am.
We talked about my situation and he said, 'you're invisible to your organisation. they just don't see you anymore'. Which is the husband's point of 'they've got you where they want you'. Not that I doubted my husband's opinion but when two people say the same thing, you have to take notice.
Anyway, we discussed a couple of possibilities. One is to develop my coaching skills, through training and practice. The Diocese apparently have a post called Lay Reviewer that involves reviewing clergy. If I was to do that, they would pay for the coaching training.
Second is a PhD, which I've always put in the category of 'things I have no time for' but actually, with the grandson a bit older now, it feels like it might be a possibility. He also suggested I use it as a door into academia proper and move on to teaching. Now, teaching has always been top of my list of 'things I never want to do, EVER' but I was always thinking about teaching children. This, of course, would be working with adult learners. So, that's a maybe.
And, of course, there's always professional ministry but I feel no call, no lightbulb when that's mentioned. I'm not being Jonah and running from the inevitable. I'm looking at it and saying, 'I just don't want that in the way I would have to if I was going to take it on'. It's like I don't see the point of it. It must be a wonderful privilege to be involved in someone's wedding, baptism or even funeral - but it's not something I want. A PhD as a way of a) deepening my learning and b) a potential career I see the point of. So, I'm going to have a chat with someone at work and see where that goes.
I did most of what was on yesterday's 'to do' list, except for cleaning the bathroom and sorting the garden cupboard. Oh, and I didn't finish P&P but I did do some work on it. But I did cut some of the grass in the front garden and got some of the weeds out of the cracks between the paving slabs (son did the rest of the front and husband did the back), so that counts as an extra job.
Today's 'to do' list looks like this:
- clean bathroom
- sort garden cupboard
- take the last few things over to church for the Freecycle Market
- edit FM publicity (make picture black and white, add website)
- play FFX-2 (more commspheres - double yay!)
- finish P&P
- have a bath
I'm planning on cleaning the kitchen tomorrow, which will just leave sorting emails to do. Maybe next weekend...
Overall, it's been a good week. I always feel better when I've had a week of doing stuff than when I've just been sitting around.
That's all for now, LJ. Toodles!
I don't want to be one of those people who moans about always being left behind when they haven't made any effort themselves to make a difference to their situation. I have tried - and tried - and tried. I've talked to the right people, I've developed my skills and qualifications, I've applied for stuff... And all roads lead back to where I am.
We talked about my situation and he said, 'you're invisible to your organisation. they just don't see you anymore'. Which is the husband's point of 'they've got you where they want you'. Not that I doubted my husband's opinion but when two people say the same thing, you have to take notice.
Anyway, we discussed a couple of possibilities. One is to develop my coaching skills, through training and practice. The Diocese apparently have a post called Lay Reviewer that involves reviewing clergy. If I was to do that, they would pay for the coaching training.
Second is a PhD, which I've always put in the category of 'things I have no time for' but actually, with the grandson a bit older now, it feels like it might be a possibility. He also suggested I use it as a door into academia proper and move on to teaching. Now, teaching has always been top of my list of 'things I never want to do, EVER' but I was always thinking about teaching children. This, of course, would be working with adult learners. So, that's a maybe.
And, of course, there's always professional ministry but I feel no call, no lightbulb when that's mentioned. I'm not being Jonah and running from the inevitable. I'm looking at it and saying, 'I just don't want that in the way I would have to if I was going to take it on'. It's like I don't see the point of it. It must be a wonderful privilege to be involved in someone's wedding, baptism or even funeral - but it's not something I want. A PhD as a way of a) deepening my learning and b) a potential career I see the point of. So, I'm going to have a chat with someone at work and see where that goes.
I did most of what was on yesterday's 'to do' list, except for cleaning the bathroom and sorting the garden cupboard. Oh, and I didn't finish P&P but I did do some work on it. But I did cut some of the grass in the front garden and got some of the weeds out of the cracks between the paving slabs (son did the rest of the front and husband did the back), so that counts as an extra job.
Today's 'to do' list looks like this:
- clean bathroom
- sort garden cupboard
- take the last few things over to church for the Freecycle Market
- edit FM publicity (make picture black and white, add website)
- play FFX-2 (more commspheres - double yay!)
- finish P&P
- have a bath
I'm planning on cleaning the kitchen tomorrow, which will just leave sorting emails to do. Maybe next weekend...
Overall, it's been a good week. I always feel better when I've had a week of doing stuff than when I've just been sitting around.
That's all for now, LJ. Toodles!