glitter on the west streets
I am officially moved into my first apartment! That is actually sort of a lie, I have so many boxes and stuff to move tomorrow because the storage people weren't around today, but I have keys and a suitcase in my room and a room and a private bathroom and granite countertops and stainless steel appliances because this place is SO NICE. It's unbelievable!! I have no idea how I'm paying as little money per month as I'm paying for an apartment this nice, but I am not going to complain about it, it's so lovely. My room has a door out to the back porch and everything!!
That SAID, for some reason I thought it would be fun to move into an apartment a block away from where President Obama lives in Chicago. And decided to move in while he (or someone in his family) was home. HAHAHA YOU GUYS THIS WAS THE BEST IDEA OF MY LIFE. Not. Not at all. I have to park some four blocks away and when I was coming in I had to have my suitcase, backpack and purse searched by several different police officers and also the bomb dog. Look, y'all, I get it, the President is a big deal and it's important to make sure that no one is coming in with anything explosive or harmful or whatever. But tomorrow I have to move 20 boxes or something to that effect, and each and every one of them has to be opened, searched, and sniffed. Tomorrow is going to be the longest day of my LIFE, oh god.
And now, a change of pace.
Being asexual is such a strange experience when trying to interact with the rest of the world. Not only does every conversation go something like "So, I'm asexual." "Oh what does that mean?" "I'm not sexually attracted to anybody." "Well you just haven't met the right person yet/You'll change your mind someday/It's probably just a phase." which is ... I mean it is never ever fun for somebody to tell you that your identity is false or invalid!! It actually feels pretty shitty. Just in case any of you couldn't guess that, which I'm sure you could've.
But not only that, but when you're ... actually trying to navigate a relationship when only one party is asexual, I find that it's very confusing and very difficult. It's been my experience that other people take it super personally when I say "I'm not sexually attracted to you" and all of the things that are implied in that, which is tough, you know? Attraction isn't something that anybody should ever be offended by (although I mean that isn't really fair, of course, I've been offended by someone not being attracted to me just as much as anybody, but), because it isn't really a choice. I wasn't born and checked a box saying that I chose not to ever be sexually attracted to anyone! But people don't tend to understand that my personal lack of sexual attraction is absolutely no indication of objective physical attractiveness (which, let's be real, isn't even a thing -- attraction can never be anything BUT subjective), and then get offended by it. That's tricky! It's hard for me to convince people that I'm interested in them even though I'm not interested in necessarily having sex with them or in ~fooling around~ or what have you. For a lot of people that's a deal breaker, which sucks.
I mean, that said, I am not actively disgusted or disinterested in sex or sexual activities or whatever, so there's a balance, but it's a tough one to manage. Being asexual is not a very well understood identity, I wish more people knew what it was/knew how to interact with asexual people. But I guess the only way that can happen I guess is for me to try and educate and be patient with people who are learning about it! So if any of you guys have any questions about what asexuality is or what my experience has been like, I'm happy to talk about that! I'm not really sure what the point of this whole tangent was, but it came to mind this week so I thought I'd write about it.
In FANDOM NEWS, which is the best news of all the news of course, things are progressing well! I'm almost done writing the most self-indulgent story I've ever even thought about writing in my life, so that will be posted in the next few days hopefully.
mockturtletale and I have decided to make ourselves a little fic comm for us to post to, so you can probably look for that in the next couple of days as well! The aforementioned self-indulgent piece will probably be posted there, as well as my old Liam/Zayn fic, and I think Clo's about done with a couple of things as well, so yeah! We're excited about it!
I haven't got much news other than this, though, but I thought I'd update. I start work this week, but that will take up so much less time than school did, so I'll definitely be around a lot in the future! I'm super excited for this summer!
That SAID, for some reason I thought it would be fun to move into an apartment a block away from where President Obama lives in Chicago. And decided to move in while he (or someone in his family) was home. HAHAHA YOU GUYS THIS WAS THE BEST IDEA OF MY LIFE. Not. Not at all. I have to park some four blocks away and when I was coming in I had to have my suitcase, backpack and purse searched by several different police officers and also the bomb dog. Look, y'all, I get it, the President is a big deal and it's important to make sure that no one is coming in with anything explosive or harmful or whatever. But tomorrow I have to move 20 boxes or something to that effect, and each and every one of them has to be opened, searched, and sniffed. Tomorrow is going to be the longest day of my LIFE, oh god.
And now, a change of pace.
Being asexual is such a strange experience when trying to interact with the rest of the world. Not only does every conversation go something like "So, I'm asexual." "Oh what does that mean?" "I'm not sexually attracted to anybody." "Well you just haven't met the right person yet/You'll change your mind someday/It's probably just a phase." which is ... I mean it is never ever fun for somebody to tell you that your identity is false or invalid!! It actually feels pretty shitty. Just in case any of you couldn't guess that, which I'm sure you could've.
But not only that, but when you're ... actually trying to navigate a relationship when only one party is asexual, I find that it's very confusing and very difficult. It's been my experience that other people take it super personally when I say "I'm not sexually attracted to you" and all of the things that are implied in that, which is tough, you know? Attraction isn't something that anybody should ever be offended by (although I mean that isn't really fair, of course, I've been offended by someone not being attracted to me just as much as anybody, but), because it isn't really a choice. I wasn't born and checked a box saying that I chose not to ever be sexually attracted to anyone! But people don't tend to understand that my personal lack of sexual attraction is absolutely no indication of objective physical attractiveness (which, let's be real, isn't even a thing -- attraction can never be anything BUT subjective), and then get offended by it. That's tricky! It's hard for me to convince people that I'm interested in them even though I'm not interested in necessarily having sex with them or in ~fooling around~ or what have you. For a lot of people that's a deal breaker, which sucks.
I mean, that said, I am not actively disgusted or disinterested in sex or sexual activities or whatever, so there's a balance, but it's a tough one to manage. Being asexual is not a very well understood identity, I wish more people knew what it was/knew how to interact with asexual people. But I guess the only way that can happen I guess is for me to try and educate and be patient with people who are learning about it! So if any of you guys have any questions about what asexuality is or what my experience has been like, I'm happy to talk about that! I'm not really sure what the point of this whole tangent was, but it came to mind this week so I thought I'd write about it.
In FANDOM NEWS, which is the best news of all the news of course, things are progressing well! I'm almost done writing the most self-indulgent story I've ever even thought about writing in my life, so that will be posted in the next few days hopefully.
mockturtletale and I have decided to make ourselves a little fic comm for us to post to, so you can probably look for that in the next couple of days as well! The aforementioned self-indulgent piece will probably be posted there, as well as my old Liam/Zayn fic, and I think Clo's about done with a couple of things as well, so yeah! We're excited about it!
I haven't got much news other than this, though, but I thought I'd update. I start work this week, but that will take up so much less time than school did, so I'll definitely be around a lot in the future! I'm super excited for this summer!