TO THE QUEEFMOBILE.
Hey look another meme I stole.
If I were a month, I'd be August. It's a slow burn and it's hard getting through it, but then it rains and you're reminded why you love summer.
If I were a day of the week, I'd be Friday because I am awesome enough.
If I were a time of day, I'd be 1:30 A.M.
If I were a planet, I'd be Pluto. First I'm one thing, then I'm told I'm not, and now no one's really sure what I am.
If I were a sea animal, I'd be a seahorse. It's more likely I'll impregnate a male.
If I were a direction, I'd be West. I'm so busy chasing the sun.
If I were a piece of furniture, I'd be the beat-up leather chair that's so worn in, your butt fits perfectly. You can always come back to me and be comforted.
If I were a liquid, I'd be PEE. No jk, I'd be bourbon. Classy. Take only sips.
If I were a tree, I'd be a peach tree. WHEN I BLOSSOM I PRODUCE AWESOME.
If I were a flower, I'd be plumeria. Quietly pretty, I guess.
If I were a kind of weather, I'd be an open-mouthed downpour.
If I were a musical instrument, I'd be kazoo.
If I were a color, I'd be some violent teal or brick red.
If I were an emotion, I'd be desperation.
If I were a fruit, I'd be a pomegranate. Difficult to prepare but competely satisfactory in the end.
If I were a sound, I'd be a heartbeat. Or the baseline of porn music.
If I were an element, I'd be fire.
If I were a car, I'd be a '67 Chevy Impala. Fuck yeah.
If I were a food, I'd be a Froot by the Foot.
If I were a place, I'd be an underground pub or a stuffed library.
If I were a taste, I'd be the exhale of weed and cayenne pepper and lemon salt.
If I were a scent, I'd be ink stained fingers and sun-soaked pages and a mocha cinnamon latte.
If I were an object, I'd be your boyfriend's hoodie.
If I were a body part, I'd be the spine.
If I were a facial expression, I’d be
and
and
If I were a song, I'd be the entire Weepies and Iron and Wine discographies.
If I were a month, I'd be August. It's a slow burn and it's hard getting through it, but then it rains and you're reminded why you love summer.
If I were a day of the week, I'd be Friday because I am awesome enough.
If I were a time of day, I'd be 1:30 A.M.
If I were a planet, I'd be Pluto. First I'm one thing, then I'm told I'm not, and now no one's really sure what I am.
If I were a sea animal, I'd be a seahorse. It's more likely I'll impregnate a male.
If I were a direction, I'd be West. I'm so busy chasing the sun.
If I were a piece of furniture, I'd be the beat-up leather chair that's so worn in, your butt fits perfectly. You can always come back to me and be comforted.
If I were a liquid, I'd be PEE. No jk, I'd be bourbon. Classy. Take only sips.
If I were a tree, I'd be a peach tree. WHEN I BLOSSOM I PRODUCE AWESOME.
If I were a flower, I'd be plumeria. Quietly pretty, I guess.
If I were a kind of weather, I'd be an open-mouthed downpour.
If I were a musical instrument, I'd be kazoo.
If I were a color, I'd be some violent teal or brick red.
If I were an emotion, I'd be desperation.
If I were a fruit, I'd be a pomegranate. Difficult to prepare but competely satisfactory in the end.
If I were a sound, I'd be a heartbeat. Or the baseline of porn music.
If I were an element, I'd be fire.
If I were a car, I'd be a '67 Chevy Impala. Fuck yeah.
If I were a food, I'd be a Froot by the Foot.
If I were a place, I'd be an underground pub or a stuffed library.
If I were a taste, I'd be the exhale of weed and cayenne pepper and lemon salt.
If I were a scent, I'd be ink stained fingers and sun-soaked pages and a mocha cinnamon latte.
If I were an object, I'd be your boyfriend's hoodie.
If I were a body part, I'd be the spine.
If I were a facial expression, I’d be
and
and
If I were a song, I'd be the entire Weepies and Iron and Wine discographies.