(no subject)
Oh God, this could prove to be awkward, but to hell with it.
You know I've always done what I want and hopefully you'll see this more as me venting than it being creepy.
But God almighty, do I miss you. You probably haven't been on this site in months. You probably don't think about me half as much as I think about you. If you did, it would be a lot.
I hope you understand that in saying this, I'm not trying to find a way to reconnect with you. I'm not trying to make an uncomfortable situation more uncomfortable. I'm just saying, with every scrap of my being, I miss you. It will never not be like this. I've had countless people move on from me or even die, but nothing has affected me like this.
I hope you're flattered. I can definitely see you sitting there with a big smirk on your face. With your fist balled up and smushed into your face as you lean against it. I can see the cats dancing around you, no matter where it is you're sitting. I don't know about you, but the thought definitely puts a big smile on my face. A huge, shit-eating grin.
I don't know what I'm trying to prove. Nothing, I suppose. Just trying to find my way to deal with things. The intensity of everything I feel ebbs and flows.
Hearing from you was nothing short of amazing. I about shit my pants. If nothing else happens this year, it made 2009 good for me. Great.
Please don't freak out.
Well anyway, I pray for you all the time. That's more than I can say I do for most people.
You know I've always done what I want and hopefully you'll see this more as me venting than it being creepy.
But God almighty, do I miss you. You probably haven't been on this site in months. You probably don't think about me half as much as I think about you. If you did, it would be a lot.
I hope you understand that in saying this, I'm not trying to find a way to reconnect with you. I'm not trying to make an uncomfortable situation more uncomfortable. I'm just saying, with every scrap of my being, I miss you. It will never not be like this. I've had countless people move on from me or even die, but nothing has affected me like this.
I hope you're flattered. I can definitely see you sitting there with a big smirk on your face. With your fist balled up and smushed into your face as you lean against it. I can see the cats dancing around you, no matter where it is you're sitting. I don't know about you, but the thought definitely puts a big smile on my face. A huge, shit-eating grin.
I don't know what I'm trying to prove. Nothing, I suppose. Just trying to find my way to deal with things. The intensity of everything I feel ebbs and flows.
Hearing from you was nothing short of amazing. I about shit my pants. If nothing else happens this year, it made 2009 good for me. Great.
Please don't freak out.
Well anyway, I pray for you all the time. That's more than I can say I do for most people.