Voice-activated bomb-disposal robot/beer caddy
Quote of the Day: August 27, 2007
"It's not that I'm full, it's just that I'm bored with eating..."
-Lee while bingeing on Chinese food
Everyone has issues. We know this. We all know this so very well. Today has been a day of living with mine. I'm not going to go into deals here. Hell. I'll probably not even go into details face-to-face with a nice wine because I certainly know I've done that before and look where that got me. But what I will say is how I feel about it.
I have two addictions, one compulsion, one fetish and a couple dozen neurotic traits. Ninety per cent of the time they're all checked. I have my routines that work and I make allowances to enjoy life and all that jazz. I also do it to stay sane. I allow myself my addictions with a rational that overall, to have them is better than to live without them. My neurotic moments, well, sometimes they can't be checked and there are things that set them off more so than others. People who are in my life learn to deal with them or get the hell out.
Now. It's the compulsion and fetish that get to me the most. I have guilt over both and I just can bring myself to open up about them. I am completely sealed off. How did I get to be that way? Up until seven years ago I was amazingly open. Anyone could ask me anything. Now they might have gotten the truth or they may have got a complete fabrication that played with the image I created for myself. Through those past few years of high school, I worked on refining myself. I worked on shutting myself off. By the time I hit college I was pretty good at it. People who entered my life rarely got into my head. I let a few select ones in, but not many. The one I did let in ended up breaking my heart completely. That shut me off even more. Why would I let someone in just to use my issues against me to hurt me? I wouldn't. I didn't. I don't. And that has left me with some emotional wounds that I am still trying to come to terms with.
Well. I am trying to get on with my life. And I cannot just make these things disappear. And I am still dealing with all these problems. Every damn one of them. Oh and... now my back up plan of just killing myself if it all got too much is out the fucking window. How does someone come to terms with that?
"It's not that I'm full, it's just that I'm bored with eating..."
-Lee while bingeing on Chinese food
Everyone has issues. We know this. We all know this so very well. Today has been a day of living with mine. I'm not going to go into deals here. Hell. I'll probably not even go into details face-to-face with a nice wine because I certainly know I've done that before and look where that got me. But what I will say is how I feel about it.
I have two addictions, one compulsion, one fetish and a couple dozen neurotic traits. Ninety per cent of the time they're all checked. I have my routines that work and I make allowances to enjoy life and all that jazz. I also do it to stay sane. I allow myself my addictions with a rational that overall, to have them is better than to live without them. My neurotic moments, well, sometimes they can't be checked and there are things that set them off more so than others. People who are in my life learn to deal with them or get the hell out.
Now. It's the compulsion and fetish that get to me the most. I have guilt over both and I just can bring myself to open up about them. I am completely sealed off. How did I get to be that way? Up until seven years ago I was amazingly open. Anyone could ask me anything. Now they might have gotten the truth or they may have got a complete fabrication that played with the image I created for myself. Through those past few years of high school, I worked on refining myself. I worked on shutting myself off. By the time I hit college I was pretty good at it. People who entered my life rarely got into my head. I let a few select ones in, but not many. The one I did let in ended up breaking my heart completely. That shut me off even more. Why would I let someone in just to use my issues against me to hurt me? I wouldn't. I didn't. I don't. And that has left me with some emotional wounds that I am still trying to come to terms with.
Well. I am trying to get on with my life. And I cannot just make these things disappear. And I am still dealing with all these problems. Every damn one of them. Oh and... now my back up plan of just killing myself if it all got too much is out the fucking window. How does someone come to terms with that?