Comments | riverafire: the Sins Of The Father

riverafire

the Sins Of The Father

Mar 12, 2006 16:34

I feel like I'm losing it. Maybe I never had it. I'm starting to doubt whether or not I have it in me to raise a boy in a world that in many ways is quite hostile to little brown boys soon to be brown men. It isn't even just brown boys, but that there is this undercurrent among some third wave feminists who feel emboldened to express hostility ( Read more... )

wtf?!, blacktalk, kidstuff

Comments 9

saltydogsal March 13 2006, 02:11:07 UTC

maybe you should share this with her. I get that confronting people's racism sucks, but on the other hand, she shared her feelings with you and that pretty much opens the door to you sharing yours with her.

Poor guy. Yours, I mean. That's GOT to be damaging to him.

riverafire March 13 2006, 05:53:45 UTC

She wasn't just sharing her feelings, she was throwing around threats. Coming to someone's door and threatening to call the police on a child is not in line with opening a productive dialogue. I don't think there is any reasoning with someone who would even suggest such a thing. Someone who would respond so disproportionately can't be expected to respond in a thoughtful way when called out on an apparently racist and sexist thing. If anything, I can see all sorts of ways that going to her would just escalate the whole situation. There is too much at stake for my family to confront her over this, I think. I'd rather just keep my distance at this point.

saltydogsal March 13 2006, 14:46:16 UTC

I hear you. Keeping your distance would be far less painful and possibly more productive. i hope you don't have to deal with her again.

seide March 13 2006, 05:36:28 UTC

the more time went by, the more pissed she was becoming

That sounds so completely backwards and contrived. What a bunch of shit. What a sense of fucking entitlement and narcissism, SHE's having a panic attack and wants to call the police?

You held up your end and did the right thing; this woman is completely overreacting.

oooohhhh fieldflower March 13 2006, 14:34:12 UTC

People don't fucking understand what it means to "call the cops" and for shoving. That is such a horrible thing to do to a child.
We've gotten too fucking crazy in our society, on one hand we'll bomb anyone who looks at us crosseyed, yet we run around acting like we're a bunch of fucking buddhists and kids who get into fights are going to grow up to be the armed robbers of tomorrow.
This makes me so mad and I am sorry for you and your little man. And if someone pushing her kid gives her anxiety attacks she has more issues than you need to even deal with.
You are okay, your son is okay, and I think steering clear of the reactionary nut is the right thing to do.
So sorry mama.

And the hostility towards boys thing fieldflower March 13 2006, 15:47:18 UTC

I have become sensitve to that too, having 2 future men on my hands. I have to think it is possible to raise them to be decent citizens.

mugofmouisture March 13 2006, 15:56:17 UTC

yuck. i'm glad that i'm not the only one uncomfortable with the whole, "all men are assholes" mentality. i do find myself saying crap like that sometimes, usually when i'm around other women and pissed off at a guy although i try to be aware. i don't do that with any other group. i'm now pondering out loud, but i wonder if its bc of my life experiences that on some level i do believe that. although i know i shouldn't.

the fact that she used the whole cops thing makes me think that she must constantly throw that in the face of her own child. i hate that. and i hate that you had to deal with her. brush her right off of your shoulder, you don't need that crap.