.::.reliving this nightmare.::.
I cant seem to get it to go away, i dont like him i hate him...but his memory still haunts me. the pain still tears at me...and the nightmare still haunts me!! I havent been able to have a normal relationship since him and i cant shake off the hurt he caused! i always told myself i would NEVER let myself be in a relationship like that...but for 6 months i was, thank god for chris and thank god for darren...but even though i liked chris for months and he liked me within 1 week i couldnt stand him anymore..and why....because of HIM...that bastard ruined everything for me...ruined chris, darren, adrian and robert....luckily he didnt ruin jake...but of course someone else did and now i like someone else but bc of what that asshole did to me i am to scared to put myself in another relationship...so scared of what might happen..what i might do....so scared! why did i let it happen so long? why did i put up with it? why did i make the excuses and tell myself he really did love me? i hate him for it...but most of all i hate myself! make this night mare go away!!!!