Old Fanfiction Book Club: Rachel's Pokémon Journey, Part Nine
Let's keep up the momentum on Old Fanfiction Book Club! We've almost hit the point where I stopped writing, and I don't want to deprive you of baby Riona's literary masterwork for another two years.
Previously on Old Fanfiction Book Club: having read a lot of melodramatic angstfic, I throw a character off a cliff for no good reason.
Original author's note on chapter eighteen: Okay, okay, I'll update! Sheesh. (I posted this in July 2002, two months after the last update; I was just about to turn fourteen.)
~JB's View~
If anyone's keeping track, this is the third different way I've punctuated perspective changes: (JB's View), --JB's View-- and ~JB's View~.
I stared. They all stared.
I was in shock. I'd thought I was so lucky, surviving that impact. But now...
"I'm dead," I said softly. Well, that was stupidly obvious. My voice sounded strange, hollow. Rachel stared at me, her eyes slowly filling with tears. She spun and ran up the stairs, sobbing. I started after her. Jed tried to hold me back, but his hand passed through my shoulder.
"JB! She needs some time alone. Let her go," he said urgently.
I paused, then sighed. He was right. Of course he was right. She'd just discovered one of her friends was dead, after all. Hell, I was pretty traumatized myself. "Fine," I murmured, withdrawing from the stairs. I walked slowly towards the door, and walked through it a couple of times. I sighed and looked up. "This is real, isn't it?"
I genuinely like the slightly detached way JB is starting to process this here.
Fred, Danielle and the three newcomers looked at me pityingly, as did Jed.
Mildly impressed that they've processed this quickly enough to hit 'pity', rather than being stuck on 'holy shit, you're a ghost'.
Leena, however, was looking thoughtful.
"Can you fly?" she enquired with interest.
Glad someone's asking the real questions.
"LEENA!" snapped Jed. "Can't you see he's..."
I considered Leena's question, starting to perk up a little. "Hmmm. Let's find out."
~Rachel's View~
I flung myself onto the bed, sobbing.
It's not the first time I've mentioned it in this fic, but it's only just occurred to me to question the fact that we're apparently in the habit of booking rooms for the night in Pokémon centres. Can you... can you do that?
Thoughts flashed through my mind, too blurred to make any sense. Secret bounded up next to me and began licking the tears away, nudging me consolingly.
{Rachel... I know it's bad, but... surely it's better than never seeing him again? It's got to be,} whispered the Vulpix sensibly.
I've changed the way I convey Pokémon speak again, but, in my defence, this was on the advice of a reviewer called Trumbell, who'd noticed my inconsistencies: 'at first you had teh pokemon talk, then you had them just make noises and you kinda inffered what they said from the responces from the trainers. The third thing you did was mix them... I think you should just ignore the noises they make and simply write what they say in (parantheses). Works great.' I suppose I went for squiggly brackets instead because regular brackets (by which I mean round brackets; I think 'brackets' might refer to square brackets by default in US English?) have other uses.
I rolled over and stared up at the ceiling. "I just don't know anymore, Secret. I don't know anything anymore. Maybe it would have been better, if he had just died and that would have been the end of it. I'd still miss him, obviously, but..." A sob shook my body. "I'm just going to have his ghost, there reminding me that he died at every turn. What am I supposed to do?"
This is interesting. The tension between comfort and pain in having someone who's died still 'present', as a ghost or hallucination or something bleeding through from another timeline, is a theme that still shows up in my writing to this day, e.g. Broken Bridges (The Last of Us, Part II) from July 2020. I hadn't realised I'd started writing about it so early, before I'd really known loss myself.
Bulby pushed gently against my hand, and Stardreamer began purring gently as I stroked him. They were all wonderfully consoling.
The name Stardreamer makes it really hard to take any scene seriously.
{Ra-}
Suddenly something burst through the wall. I screamed and threw myself under the blankets. When I peeked out, JB was there - hovering upside-down with a MASSIVE grin on his face.
"Heeeey... I think I could get to like this."
There's a developing pattern in this fic. 'Oh no, I'm a furry/ghost!' 'Hey, you can fly.' 'You're right! Actually, this terrible development is great.'
Good to see people looking on the bright side, but I don't want to recommend becoming a ghost.
~Blaze's View~
"Sparky?" I asked softly. The Pikachu was sitting a little way out from the small camp we had set up, staring into the moon. "What's wrong?"
We'd booked ourselves in to stay at the Pokémon centre, or so I assume from the fact that there was a bed there for Rachel to cry on, and (spoilers) we're still staying there by the beginning of the next chapter, so I have no idea why or where we're camping.
Sparky said nothing for a few minutes, then turned and looked at me. His eyes shone oddly, and I realised he had been crying.
"Blaze... do you know what happened to your master?"
I shivered, and my tail-flame dimmed. "He... he jumped off a cliff. And he - died. And turned into a ghost. That's it, really."
This poor Charmander!
"But do you know why he became a ghost?" Sparky asked. His tone was urgent.
I was startled. "Doesn't everyone?"
To clarify, Blaze doesn't assume this because there are thousands of ghosts running around. He didn't know people could become ghosts (although it's well established that Pokémon can), but, having seen it happen to JB, he's concluded that it must be normal.
"No... very few people do," Sparky said. I realised he had something very important to tell me. "I was talking about it with the Mewtwo-girl-"
"Cassie," I corrected him.
Sparky: so evil he doesn't bother to learn people's names. I'd be interested to see his conversation with Cassie; beyond making threats, he doesn't usually really talk to anyone other than Blaze and Danielle.
"Yeah, her. So I was talking to Cassie, and she - she said..." He paused again. I waited for him to continue. "She said that when she saw JB, she... 'touched his mind' to see what he was doing. Just before he jumped, there was a DIFFERENT mind there - not JB or Cassie, but someone else. So..."
"So someone was controlling his mind?" I asked.
Surprise! JB didn't just jump off a cliff for no reason; he was PSYCHICALLY MURDERED for no reason. I do come back to this plot point, but I never bother to establish a motive.
I'm glad Cassie explained why JB suddenly jumped off a cliff, because nobody has bothered to ask JB, even though you'd think it might be on their minds.
He nodded. "Exactly. And somehow that made it so that he was a ghost when he died."
'somehow'
There was a long pause. Finally I spoke. "Sparky?"
"Huh?"
"Why were you crying?"
"I wasn't crying."
"I'm not fooled, Sparky. You were crying. Tell me why."
Hope you're all braced for the evil Pikachu's TRAGIC PAST.
He was silent. Eventually...
"Danielle... isn't the only owner I had. I used to have a different one... a girl called Kasumi. One day..." It wasn't a particularly cold night, but Sparky was shivering. "We met a trainer... a really horrible trainer, called Kuja. He challenged us to a battle..." Sparky was crying now, and his words were forced. "When it was clear that he was losing, he sent out an Arcanine and - told it to use Fire Blast on Kasumi instead of me... she - she died from the injuries." He shook with sorrow and fury. "I couldn't save her! I could have taken the Fire Blast instead, should've jumped in the way of it. Then Kasumi would still be alive, and it'd all be okay! Everything would be okay!" The Pikachu leapt forwards, bristling with anger. "I'll find you, Kuja! I'll find you, and I'll kill you, I swear it! You are going to DIE!"
I didn't say anything. There was nothing to say.
I do sort of like that I've made some effort here to make Sparky a bit more sympathetic. I don't remember the reasoning that led to it, but I suspect I may have felt bad for Sparky when I saw violent sentiments from reviewers towards him, even though he, er, was not created to be a likeable character.
Kuja is not literally intended to be the villain of Final Fantasy IX, but I needed a name, and that's where I stole it from. The name Kasumi, meanwhile, comes from Dead or Alive 2, which my brothers and I used to play against each other a lot; Kasumi was one of my favourite fighters to play as.
I'm not very good at coming up with names on my own, as you may have suspected from Bulby, Stardreamer, or the fact that Rachel's rival is called James when there's already a major character named James in the Pokémon universe.
Chapter eighteen, as mentioned, was posted in July of 2002, and then six months passed before I posted chapter nineteen, below, in January of 2003. (Judging from the author's note, it's possible this delay was due to being overwhelmed by the number of characters.) I think there's visible improvement in the writing style, although it's possible the shift to third person exaggerates the difference. My writing's still a bit clumsy in this chapter, but I'm starting to get the hang of it.
By this point I'm well into my fourteenth year. (Or... technically my fifteenth year, I suppose, because your first year ends when you turn one. Anyway, I'm fourteen and a half.)
Original author's note on chapter nineteen: Okay, there are now officially TOO MANY CHARACTERS. If I put in any more than the eight plus one (deceased) already in Rachel’s group, it’s going to get way too complicated. It already IS too complicated, actually.
Sorry to the others who sent in characters. They’ll all get cameo appearances, of course, but I’m afraid that’s the best I can do. Again, I’m really really sorry.
I’m also going to stop writing personal responses to all the reviewers. I just don’t have enough time anymore. Hopefully this won’t lower the amount of reviews I get...
Oh, and I’m writing this chapter in third-person. If all goes well, it’s staying that way.
“Rachel?”
Rachel started, and turned around. Seeing who it was, she sighed.
“What is it, JB?”
I'm not entirely clear on why Rachel seems exasperated here. I suppose maybe ghost-JB has got into the habit of startling her?
JB grinned and swung himself off the roof, where he had taken to sitting. He had found that, with concentration, he was able to become more substantial and manipulate objects - it took a lot of energy, though, and left him feeling weak and drained. As he hit the ground, Rachel noticed the subtle hint of transparency that signalled his return to full-ghost.
It was amazing how fast you could get used to travelling with a dead person.
Hope you didn't expect a character dying to change ANYTHING AT ALL (except now JB flies up to sit on roofs, which, I'll be honest, is probably also how I'd take advantage of being a ghost).
“So?”
JB seemed slightly surprised. “So what?”
“You didn’t answer my question. What is it?”
“So you don’t think I’d come out here just to talk to you? I have to have a reason?” There was a pause, then he smirked. “Okay, so there IS a reason. We’re movin’ on.”
The fact that you were sitting on the roof implies you were out there already, JB.
The news didn’t surprise her. “And you just assumed I’d go along with this, right?”
It's your Pokémon journey, Rachel. This fic is called Rachel's Pokémon Journey. It's not Rachel Moves In to the Pokémon Centre Next to Mount Moon.
If any independent observer had been nearby, they would have seen a random girl talking to thin air. For reasons they couldn’t quite figure out, people outside their little group of travellers had difficulty seeing JB out of his semi-solid state.
See, JB dying is totally a change. I'm not just throwing in supposed plot developments and then desperately scrambling to make sure they don't actually affect anything; what do you take me for? I totally, totally know what I'm doing.
“There’s no reason to stay here. We’re right next to Mount Moon, there’s no point staying in the Pokécenter...” He frowned slightly. “I’m sure there was something else...”
Rachel waited. Finally she said, “If tha-”
“I REMEMBER!” yelled JB triumphantly. “They want to come with us!”
Now THIS news gained a proper reaction. “Who do?”
“Cassie. And the Aerodactyl guy. And the other one.”
Of these three reader-submitted characters, Cassie was the one I found the most interesting, and I suspect it shows.
Again, this is a world where it's perfectly normal to just invite other people or yourself along on a long journey, but, to be fair, that's pretty accurate to the Pokémon universe.
Now it was Rachel’s turn to smirk. “If we’re going to travel with them, you’d better learn their names.”
“Ha-bloody-ha.” JB glared at her. “Cassie, Kyle and Michael. Happy now?”
She grinned. “Okay then, let’s go!”
I suppose Rachel was just feigning resistance to setting out because she resents anyone else making the decisions. It's not called JB's Pokémon Journey, you upstart little ghost.
~~~
“So what you’re saying is that we are, in fact, lost.”
Rachel belittled herself for her stupidity. The tunnels of Mount Moon had been darker than expected, and a lot more confusing. “We’re not lost. I just... don’t know where we are.”
“So what you’re saying,” repeated the Meowth patiently, “is that we are, in fact, lost.”
“Shut up, Star.”
I'm so glad I've stopped calling him Stardreamer every time.
Getting lost is very true to the Pokémon anime. I rewatched all of the Indigo League episodes available on Netflix recently, and it's ridiculous how many of them open with Ash, Misty and Brock being lost in a forest.
Blaze walked in front of the group, illuminating the area a few feet around with the light from his tail-flame. Sparky had offered to assist with electrical light, but nobody trusted him enough - not even Danielle.
Sort of impressed that Danielle's finally noticed the pattern here.
At that moment he was walking just behind Rachel, occasionally giving her a minor shock - enough to be irritating, but not enough to complain about without sounding petty.
I - I think you can complain about that, Rachel.
“I could help with the lighting problem,” offered Kindness, Michael’s Pichu. She smiled slightly. “I know my level isn’t incredibly high, but...”
“It’s okay,” called Blaze. “I’m doing fine!”
“It might be some help, actually,” pointed out Jed. He had noticed that Blaze’s tail flame was beginning to grow dim from exhaustion, and the illumination was barely enough to make out shapes by. “Or you, Cassie? Don’t you know Teleport?”
“I don’t really have much control over my powers at the moment...” admitted Cassie. “I’m not as strong as a proper Mewtwo, you know that. They didn’t even use real Mewtwo DNA - they obviously couldn’t get hold of a live one. They made a pattern of DNA based on assumptions, and then combined it with mine... I don’t even know if I can learn the same moves.” She grinned, although this was not visible through the darkness. “I guess we’ll find out, ne?”
OH. Oh! Okay, younger self, you've managed to impress me. I didn't think you'd bother to address the 'how did Team Rocket get hold of Mewtwo and splice it with this girl?' question.
I mean, you could question whether it's really possible to get anything close to Mewtwo by making a pattern of DNA 'based on assumptions', but I'm going to give fourteen-year-old Riona this one.
This does not mean she gets a pass for dropping the Japanese 'ne?' into English dialogue.
“Let’s go down this side passage,” suggested Rachel in an attempt to look like she knew what she was doing. “Anything there, Star?”
Stardreamer bounded down from her shoulder and glanced through the passageway, using his superior night-vision. “It’s clear.”
Leena, with a resigned shrug, turned down the passageway... and was suddenly on the floor, very still.
“Sorry,” called Star sheepishly. “I missed that one.”
“Leena?” Kyle picked her inert body up, trying not to let his claws damage her. Rachel heard him say, “She’s Paralyzed - we’re out of Paralyze Heals...” before tuning him out.
“What is it?”
Rachel, I'm not sure tuning out 'your friend's paralysed' and going 'yes, but what's the Pokémon that paralysed her? is it cool? can I catch it?' is going to win you any friendship trophies.
“I don’t -” Star began, but Skreeal interrupted him.
“It’s a Paras.”
“Smart-arse,” Star snapped.
I don't always do a great job of differentiating the personalities of the Pokémon, so I like that Stardreamer's a bit snide and short-tempered. (It also amuses me that his personality doesn't fit his name at all.)
Rachel ignored him. Her eyes had become very wide.
“A Paras!” she gasped. “I’ve always wanted one of those!”
'Screw Leena; this is a great turn of events!'
“Weird,” commented Danielle, who had overheard. “Well, you’re welcome to it.”
The friend Danielle was based on was not a fan of Bug Pokémon.
Rachel smiled and crouched. “Paras? Where are you? I can’t see you, but I know you’re there...”
The Paras chittered suspiciously a few feet away. Without a light source she could see nothing, but that sound reassured her that the Paras was there.
I assume there's no light because Blaze is sensibly hanging back in the corridor we just came from, rather than trotting straight towards the Pokémon that just paralysed a member of our party like some people.
“Come here, Paras. I’m not going to hurt you.”
Rachel heard a slight clicking noise, and worried for a second that the Paras might have decided to use Stun Spore on her. But nothing happened, and she allowed herself to breathe again.
“Should I attack it?” whispered Star.
Rachel shook her head, hoping her Meowth would be able to see it. The gentle touch of pincers on her outstretched hand startled her, but she managed to restrain herself from crying out.
Slowly, cautiously, the Paras stepped onto her arm. It crawled slowly up it, and then perched on her shoulder. There it began chittering again.
“What’s it saying?” Rachel asked Star.
Star didn’t really approve of the bug Pokémon, but complied. “She wants to know why you’re acting so strangely. She thinks you might be trying to trick her.” The Meowth glared at the Paras. “She’s not trying to trick you, mushroom-head! She -“
The Paras chittered angrily and started crawling back down Rachel’s arm.
I don't know why the Paras climbed onto my shoulder when it didn't trust me, but I'll allow it because it's a cute image.
I also don't know why Stardreamer dislikes it, unless it's inexplicably bothered by the minor fact that it just paralysed our friend.
“Don’t go!” said Rachel urgently. The Paras seemed to consider for a while, then relented. It crawled into her lap.
Also cute!
“Mushroom-brains here wants to know what you have to talk to her about that’s so important,” Star said scornfully.
“Quiet, Star,” snapped Rachel. “I was just wondering...” she said quietly to the Paras, “...would you like to come with me? I’m on my Pokémon journey, and I’d really like you to come.”
There was a long pause. Finally, the Paras gave a small chirping noise.
“She says yes.” Star scowled. “Do we HAVE to have her on the team?”
Everyone's so willing to come along with us!
Catching a Pokémon by befriending it, rather than battling it, is very Ash Ketchum, although Rachel wouldn't thank me for saying that.
“You don’t even know what she’s like,” Rachel pointed out, immensely happy with her new friend. Rummaging blindly in her backpack, she came out with a Pokéball. After a second’s hesitation, the Paras tapped the button and disappeared inside.
Sorry you're paralysed, Leena, but HECK YEAH, WE GOT PARAS.
In the next instalment of Old Fanfiction Book Club: we meet a helpful young man and nothing goes wrong.
Only one instalment to go before we run out of Rachel's Pokémon Journey! I'm sort of sad I didn't stick with this fic for longer; I'd love to know where all this nonsense was going. I certainly had no idea when I was writing it.
Previously on Old Fanfiction Book Club: having read a lot of melodramatic angstfic, I throw a character off a cliff for no good reason.
Original author's note on chapter eighteen: Okay, okay, I'll update! Sheesh. (I posted this in July 2002, two months after the last update; I was just about to turn fourteen.)
~JB's View~
If anyone's keeping track, this is the third different way I've punctuated perspective changes: (JB's View), --JB's View-- and ~JB's View~.
I stared. They all stared.
I was in shock. I'd thought I was so lucky, surviving that impact. But now...
"I'm dead," I said softly. Well, that was stupidly obvious. My voice sounded strange, hollow. Rachel stared at me, her eyes slowly filling with tears. She spun and ran up the stairs, sobbing. I started after her. Jed tried to hold me back, but his hand passed through my shoulder.
"JB! She needs some time alone. Let her go," he said urgently.
I paused, then sighed. He was right. Of course he was right. She'd just discovered one of her friends was dead, after all. Hell, I was pretty traumatized myself. "Fine," I murmured, withdrawing from the stairs. I walked slowly towards the door, and walked through it a couple of times. I sighed and looked up. "This is real, isn't it?"
I genuinely like the slightly detached way JB is starting to process this here.
Fred, Danielle and the three newcomers looked at me pityingly, as did Jed.
Mildly impressed that they've processed this quickly enough to hit 'pity', rather than being stuck on 'holy shit, you're a ghost'.
Leena, however, was looking thoughtful.
"Can you fly?" she enquired with interest.
Glad someone's asking the real questions.
"LEENA!" snapped Jed. "Can't you see he's..."
I considered Leena's question, starting to perk up a little. "Hmmm. Let's find out."
~Rachel's View~
I flung myself onto the bed, sobbing.
It's not the first time I've mentioned it in this fic, but it's only just occurred to me to question the fact that we're apparently in the habit of booking rooms for the night in Pokémon centres. Can you... can you do that?
Thoughts flashed through my mind, too blurred to make any sense. Secret bounded up next to me and began licking the tears away, nudging me consolingly.
{Rachel... I know it's bad, but... surely it's better than never seeing him again? It's got to be,} whispered the Vulpix sensibly.
I've changed the way I convey Pokémon speak again, but, in my defence, this was on the advice of a reviewer called Trumbell, who'd noticed my inconsistencies: 'at first you had teh pokemon talk, then you had them just make noises and you kinda inffered what they said from the responces from the trainers. The third thing you did was mix them... I think you should just ignore the noises they make and simply write what they say in (parantheses). Works great.' I suppose I went for squiggly brackets instead because regular brackets (by which I mean round brackets; I think 'brackets' might refer to square brackets by default in US English?) have other uses.
I rolled over and stared up at the ceiling. "I just don't know anymore, Secret. I don't know anything anymore. Maybe it would have been better, if he had just died and that would have been the end of it. I'd still miss him, obviously, but..." A sob shook my body. "I'm just going to have his ghost, there reminding me that he died at every turn. What am I supposed to do?"
This is interesting. The tension between comfort and pain in having someone who's died still 'present', as a ghost or hallucination or something bleeding through from another timeline, is a theme that still shows up in my writing to this day, e.g. Broken Bridges (The Last of Us, Part II) from July 2020. I hadn't realised I'd started writing about it so early, before I'd really known loss myself.
Bulby pushed gently against my hand, and Stardreamer began purring gently as I stroked him. They were all wonderfully consoling.
The name Stardreamer makes it really hard to take any scene seriously.
{Ra-}
Suddenly something burst through the wall. I screamed and threw myself under the blankets. When I peeked out, JB was there - hovering upside-down with a MASSIVE grin on his face.
"Heeeey... I think I could get to like this."
There's a developing pattern in this fic. 'Oh no, I'm a furry/ghost!' 'Hey, you can fly.' 'You're right! Actually, this terrible development is great.'
Good to see people looking on the bright side, but I don't want to recommend becoming a ghost.
~Blaze's View~
"Sparky?" I asked softly. The Pikachu was sitting a little way out from the small camp we had set up, staring into the moon. "What's wrong?"
We'd booked ourselves in to stay at the Pokémon centre, or so I assume from the fact that there was a bed there for Rachel to cry on, and (spoilers) we're still staying there by the beginning of the next chapter, so I have no idea why or where we're camping.
Sparky said nothing for a few minutes, then turned and looked at me. His eyes shone oddly, and I realised he had been crying.
"Blaze... do you know what happened to your master?"
I shivered, and my tail-flame dimmed. "He... he jumped off a cliff. And he - died. And turned into a ghost. That's it, really."
This poor Charmander!
"But do you know why he became a ghost?" Sparky asked. His tone was urgent.
I was startled. "Doesn't everyone?"
To clarify, Blaze doesn't assume this because there are thousands of ghosts running around. He didn't know people could become ghosts (although it's well established that Pokémon can), but, having seen it happen to JB, he's concluded that it must be normal.
"No... very few people do," Sparky said. I realised he had something very important to tell me. "I was talking about it with the Mewtwo-girl-"
"Cassie," I corrected him.
Sparky: so evil he doesn't bother to learn people's names. I'd be interested to see his conversation with Cassie; beyond making threats, he doesn't usually really talk to anyone other than Blaze and Danielle.
"Yeah, her. So I was talking to Cassie, and she - she said..." He paused again. I waited for him to continue. "She said that when she saw JB, she... 'touched his mind' to see what he was doing. Just before he jumped, there was a DIFFERENT mind there - not JB or Cassie, but someone else. So..."
"So someone was controlling his mind?" I asked.
Surprise! JB didn't just jump off a cliff for no reason; he was PSYCHICALLY MURDERED for no reason. I do come back to this plot point, but I never bother to establish a motive.
I'm glad Cassie explained why JB suddenly jumped off a cliff, because nobody has bothered to ask JB, even though you'd think it might be on their minds.
He nodded. "Exactly. And somehow that made it so that he was a ghost when he died."
'somehow'
There was a long pause. Finally I spoke. "Sparky?"
"Huh?"
"Why were you crying?"
"I wasn't crying."
"I'm not fooled, Sparky. You were crying. Tell me why."
Hope you're all braced for the evil Pikachu's TRAGIC PAST.
He was silent. Eventually...
"Danielle... isn't the only owner I had. I used to have a different one... a girl called Kasumi. One day..." It wasn't a particularly cold night, but Sparky was shivering. "We met a trainer... a really horrible trainer, called Kuja. He challenged us to a battle..." Sparky was crying now, and his words were forced. "When it was clear that he was losing, he sent out an Arcanine and - told it to use Fire Blast on Kasumi instead of me... she - she died from the injuries." He shook with sorrow and fury. "I couldn't save her! I could have taken the Fire Blast instead, should've jumped in the way of it. Then Kasumi would still be alive, and it'd all be okay! Everything would be okay!" The Pikachu leapt forwards, bristling with anger. "I'll find you, Kuja! I'll find you, and I'll kill you, I swear it! You are going to DIE!"
I didn't say anything. There was nothing to say.
I do sort of like that I've made some effort here to make Sparky a bit more sympathetic. I don't remember the reasoning that led to it, but I suspect I may have felt bad for Sparky when I saw violent sentiments from reviewers towards him, even though he, er, was not created to be a likeable character.
Kuja is not literally intended to be the villain of Final Fantasy IX, but I needed a name, and that's where I stole it from. The name Kasumi, meanwhile, comes from Dead or Alive 2, which my brothers and I used to play against each other a lot; Kasumi was one of my favourite fighters to play as.
I'm not very good at coming up with names on my own, as you may have suspected from Bulby, Stardreamer, or the fact that Rachel's rival is called James when there's already a major character named James in the Pokémon universe.
Chapter eighteen, as mentioned, was posted in July of 2002, and then six months passed before I posted chapter nineteen, below, in January of 2003. (Judging from the author's note, it's possible this delay was due to being overwhelmed by the number of characters.) I think there's visible improvement in the writing style, although it's possible the shift to third person exaggerates the difference. My writing's still a bit clumsy in this chapter, but I'm starting to get the hang of it.
By this point I'm well into my fourteenth year. (Or... technically my fifteenth year, I suppose, because your first year ends when you turn one. Anyway, I'm fourteen and a half.)
Original author's note on chapter nineteen: Okay, there are now officially TOO MANY CHARACTERS. If I put in any more than the eight plus one (deceased) already in Rachel’s group, it’s going to get way too complicated. It already IS too complicated, actually.
Sorry to the others who sent in characters. They’ll all get cameo appearances, of course, but I’m afraid that’s the best I can do. Again, I’m really really sorry.
I’m also going to stop writing personal responses to all the reviewers. I just don’t have enough time anymore. Hopefully this won’t lower the amount of reviews I get...
Oh, and I’m writing this chapter in third-person. If all goes well, it’s staying that way.
“Rachel?”
Rachel started, and turned around. Seeing who it was, she sighed.
“What is it, JB?”
I'm not entirely clear on why Rachel seems exasperated here. I suppose maybe ghost-JB has got into the habit of startling her?
JB grinned and swung himself off the roof, where he had taken to sitting. He had found that, with concentration, he was able to become more substantial and manipulate objects - it took a lot of energy, though, and left him feeling weak and drained. As he hit the ground, Rachel noticed the subtle hint of transparency that signalled his return to full-ghost.
It was amazing how fast you could get used to travelling with a dead person.
Hope you didn't expect a character dying to change ANYTHING AT ALL (except now JB flies up to sit on roofs, which, I'll be honest, is probably also how I'd take advantage of being a ghost).
“So?”
JB seemed slightly surprised. “So what?”
“You didn’t answer my question. What is it?”
“So you don’t think I’d come out here just to talk to you? I have to have a reason?” There was a pause, then he smirked. “Okay, so there IS a reason. We’re movin’ on.”
The fact that you were sitting on the roof implies you were out there already, JB.
The news didn’t surprise her. “And you just assumed I’d go along with this, right?”
It's your Pokémon journey, Rachel. This fic is called Rachel's Pokémon Journey. It's not Rachel Moves In to the Pokémon Centre Next to Mount Moon.
If any independent observer had been nearby, they would have seen a random girl talking to thin air. For reasons they couldn’t quite figure out, people outside their little group of travellers had difficulty seeing JB out of his semi-solid state.
See, JB dying is totally a change. I'm not just throwing in supposed plot developments and then desperately scrambling to make sure they don't actually affect anything; what do you take me for? I totally, totally know what I'm doing.
“There’s no reason to stay here. We’re right next to Mount Moon, there’s no point staying in the Pokécenter...” He frowned slightly. “I’m sure there was something else...”
Rachel waited. Finally she said, “If tha-”
“I REMEMBER!” yelled JB triumphantly. “They want to come with us!”
Now THIS news gained a proper reaction. “Who do?”
“Cassie. And the Aerodactyl guy. And the other one.”
Of these three reader-submitted characters, Cassie was the one I found the most interesting, and I suspect it shows.
Again, this is a world where it's perfectly normal to just invite other people or yourself along on a long journey, but, to be fair, that's pretty accurate to the Pokémon universe.
Now it was Rachel’s turn to smirk. “If we’re going to travel with them, you’d better learn their names.”
“Ha-bloody-ha.” JB glared at her. “Cassie, Kyle and Michael. Happy now?”
She grinned. “Okay then, let’s go!”
I suppose Rachel was just feigning resistance to setting out because she resents anyone else making the decisions. It's not called JB's Pokémon Journey, you upstart little ghost.
~~~
“So what you’re saying is that we are, in fact, lost.”
Rachel belittled herself for her stupidity. The tunnels of Mount Moon had been darker than expected, and a lot more confusing. “We’re not lost. I just... don’t know where we are.”
“So what you’re saying,” repeated the Meowth patiently, “is that we are, in fact, lost.”
“Shut up, Star.”
I'm so glad I've stopped calling him Stardreamer every time.
Getting lost is very true to the Pokémon anime. I rewatched all of the Indigo League episodes available on Netflix recently, and it's ridiculous how many of them open with Ash, Misty and Brock being lost in a forest.
Blaze walked in front of the group, illuminating the area a few feet around with the light from his tail-flame. Sparky had offered to assist with electrical light, but nobody trusted him enough - not even Danielle.
Sort of impressed that Danielle's finally noticed the pattern here.
At that moment he was walking just behind Rachel, occasionally giving her a minor shock - enough to be irritating, but not enough to complain about without sounding petty.
I - I think you can complain about that, Rachel.
“I could help with the lighting problem,” offered Kindness, Michael’s Pichu. She smiled slightly. “I know my level isn’t incredibly high, but...”
“It’s okay,” called Blaze. “I’m doing fine!”
“It might be some help, actually,” pointed out Jed. He had noticed that Blaze’s tail flame was beginning to grow dim from exhaustion, and the illumination was barely enough to make out shapes by. “Or you, Cassie? Don’t you know Teleport?”
“I don’t really have much control over my powers at the moment...” admitted Cassie. “I’m not as strong as a proper Mewtwo, you know that. They didn’t even use real Mewtwo DNA - they obviously couldn’t get hold of a live one. They made a pattern of DNA based on assumptions, and then combined it with mine... I don’t even know if I can learn the same moves.” She grinned, although this was not visible through the darkness. “I guess we’ll find out, ne?”
OH. Oh! Okay, younger self, you've managed to impress me. I didn't think you'd bother to address the 'how did Team Rocket get hold of Mewtwo and splice it with this girl?' question.
I mean, you could question whether it's really possible to get anything close to Mewtwo by making a pattern of DNA 'based on assumptions', but I'm going to give fourteen-year-old Riona this one.
This does not mean she gets a pass for dropping the Japanese 'ne?' into English dialogue.
“Let’s go down this side passage,” suggested Rachel in an attempt to look like she knew what she was doing. “Anything there, Star?”
Stardreamer bounded down from her shoulder and glanced through the passageway, using his superior night-vision. “It’s clear.”
Leena, with a resigned shrug, turned down the passageway... and was suddenly on the floor, very still.
“Sorry,” called Star sheepishly. “I missed that one.”
“Leena?” Kyle picked her inert body up, trying not to let his claws damage her. Rachel heard him say, “She’s Paralyzed - we’re out of Paralyze Heals...” before tuning him out.
“What is it?”
Rachel, I'm not sure tuning out 'your friend's paralysed' and going 'yes, but what's the Pokémon that paralysed her? is it cool? can I catch it?' is going to win you any friendship trophies.
“I don’t -” Star began, but Skreeal interrupted him.
“It’s a Paras.”
“Smart-arse,” Star snapped.
I don't always do a great job of differentiating the personalities of the Pokémon, so I like that Stardreamer's a bit snide and short-tempered. (It also amuses me that his personality doesn't fit his name at all.)
Rachel ignored him. Her eyes had become very wide.
“A Paras!” she gasped. “I’ve always wanted one of those!”
'Screw Leena; this is a great turn of events!'
“Weird,” commented Danielle, who had overheard. “Well, you’re welcome to it.”
The friend Danielle was based on was not a fan of Bug Pokémon.
Rachel smiled and crouched. “Paras? Where are you? I can’t see you, but I know you’re there...”
The Paras chittered suspiciously a few feet away. Without a light source she could see nothing, but that sound reassured her that the Paras was there.
I assume there's no light because Blaze is sensibly hanging back in the corridor we just came from, rather than trotting straight towards the Pokémon that just paralysed a member of our party like some people.
“Come here, Paras. I’m not going to hurt you.”
Rachel heard a slight clicking noise, and worried for a second that the Paras might have decided to use Stun Spore on her. But nothing happened, and she allowed herself to breathe again.
“Should I attack it?” whispered Star.
Rachel shook her head, hoping her Meowth would be able to see it. The gentle touch of pincers on her outstretched hand startled her, but she managed to restrain herself from crying out.
Slowly, cautiously, the Paras stepped onto her arm. It crawled slowly up it, and then perched on her shoulder. There it began chittering again.
“What’s it saying?” Rachel asked Star.
Star didn’t really approve of the bug Pokémon, but complied. “She wants to know why you’re acting so strangely. She thinks you might be trying to trick her.” The Meowth glared at the Paras. “She’s not trying to trick you, mushroom-head! She -“
The Paras chittered angrily and started crawling back down Rachel’s arm.
I don't know why the Paras climbed onto my shoulder when it didn't trust me, but I'll allow it because it's a cute image.
I also don't know why Stardreamer dislikes it, unless it's inexplicably bothered by the minor fact that it just paralysed our friend.
“Don’t go!” said Rachel urgently. The Paras seemed to consider for a while, then relented. It crawled into her lap.
Also cute!
“Mushroom-brains here wants to know what you have to talk to her about that’s so important,” Star said scornfully.
“Quiet, Star,” snapped Rachel. “I was just wondering...” she said quietly to the Paras, “...would you like to come with me? I’m on my Pokémon journey, and I’d really like you to come.”
There was a long pause. Finally, the Paras gave a small chirping noise.
“She says yes.” Star scowled. “Do we HAVE to have her on the team?”
Everyone's so willing to come along with us!
Catching a Pokémon by befriending it, rather than battling it, is very Ash Ketchum, although Rachel wouldn't thank me for saying that.
“You don’t even know what she’s like,” Rachel pointed out, immensely happy with her new friend. Rummaging blindly in her backpack, she came out with a Pokéball. After a second’s hesitation, the Paras tapped the button and disappeared inside.
Sorry you're paralysed, Leena, but HECK YEAH, WE GOT PARAS.
In the next instalment of Old Fanfiction Book Club: we meet a helpful young man and nothing goes wrong.
Only one instalment to go before we run out of Rachel's Pokémon Journey! I'm sort of sad I didn't stick with this fic for longer; I'd love to know where all this nonsense was going. I certainly had no idea when I was writing it.