Truths of love and all that other crap, according to Rin
So apparently I've been writing alot, first on anger now on a different topic. Truths about love, relationships and that tricky quasi-romance thing, truths to me anyways. You don't have to like them, or even agree with him, hell, you don't have to read them but I need to write them.
1. You're not the only one that's been hurt.
No matter what, everyone starts out every relationship guarded, we don't want to be, but we're still healing from a past relationship. The thing you need to remember is so has the other person, they've probably been cheated on, lied to, let down, abused or generally fucked over by their past relationships. The trick is not to act like the victim when you're in the beginning of a relationship. Act like you've never been hurt. It's hard, and I'm not saying let all the walls down but if you keep them up and never give a little than eventually that person is just gonna give up on you, and you're right back to square one. You're not the only one who's been hurt, stop acting like it and get over yourself.
2. Everyone, no matter what they say, wants to be chased.
There is, of course, subtext to this, if someone says their not interested. Leave them alone, if you don't, you're a stalker, stalkers are bad. What I mean by number two is that, everyone wants to have someone prove to them that they care. Guys, Its why girls fish for compliments, and never admit things first, because they want you to prove to them that you actually give a shit and are not some beer-guzzling, ball-scratching neanderthal that just wants to get laid. Shocking right? Girls, seriously, don't fish for compliments, it makes you look desperate. Remember that thing we talked about in number one? When people are new to a relationship, they are trying to decide if you're going to hurt them all over again or if you care about them enough to prove that you won't. If they are going to invest the time and emotional energy to let some of those guards down, prove to them that you're worth it. That means: be reliable, be nice, be giving, be loyal and don't be a dumbass.
3. No matter what, you will never get all of yourself back.
I've realized that no matter how long, or short, how serious or not a relationship ends up being, you never will get all of yourself back. You invested time, hope and even let down your guard a little maybe in this person, and you don't get that back. The upside is that they've done the same. So after things have ended, you can't get back what has been taken or given, but you can mend the pieces you do have and move on.
4. Never let someone become your whole life.
I feel like this is obvious, but for some people, its not. I don't care what you say, but if you really truly love someone, they are not your whole life. You are your own person, you were your own person before them, and you will continue to be your own person after them. It may feel like you can't live without them but you are not a Siamese twin, and you can survive without your "other half". I've seen this happen to alot of couples, people get involved and they loose sight of who they are, and trust me, I've been in that position and I've seen friends in that position. It doesn't make you cute, it makes you fucking annoying and a shitty friend because we became friends with you for a reason, and if you suddenly seem to forget your entire personality when you start dating someone else, then you're not our friend...you're some weird leech-thing. Anyway, maintain yourself while in a relationship, spend time apart, go see your friends, remind yourself of who you were and still are before them.
So it seems that this turned into less of a truths and more of "how not to completely fuck shit up " guide. Cynical? Yes. Bitter? Probably. Honest? Fuck yes. Do I care? Meh.
1. You're not the only one that's been hurt.
No matter what, everyone starts out every relationship guarded, we don't want to be, but we're still healing from a past relationship. The thing you need to remember is so has the other person, they've probably been cheated on, lied to, let down, abused or generally fucked over by their past relationships. The trick is not to act like the victim when you're in the beginning of a relationship. Act like you've never been hurt. It's hard, and I'm not saying let all the walls down but if you keep them up and never give a little than eventually that person is just gonna give up on you, and you're right back to square one. You're not the only one who's been hurt, stop acting like it and get over yourself.
2. Everyone, no matter what they say, wants to be chased.
There is, of course, subtext to this, if someone says their not interested. Leave them alone, if you don't, you're a stalker, stalkers are bad. What I mean by number two is that, everyone wants to have someone prove to them that they care. Guys, Its why girls fish for compliments, and never admit things first, because they want you to prove to them that you actually give a shit and are not some beer-guzzling, ball-scratching neanderthal that just wants to get laid. Shocking right? Girls, seriously, don't fish for compliments, it makes you look desperate. Remember that thing we talked about in number one? When people are new to a relationship, they are trying to decide if you're going to hurt them all over again or if you care about them enough to prove that you won't. If they are going to invest the time and emotional energy to let some of those guards down, prove to them that you're worth it. That means: be reliable, be nice, be giving, be loyal and don't be a dumbass.
3. No matter what, you will never get all of yourself back.
I've realized that no matter how long, or short, how serious or not a relationship ends up being, you never will get all of yourself back. You invested time, hope and even let down your guard a little maybe in this person, and you don't get that back. The upside is that they've done the same. So after things have ended, you can't get back what has been taken or given, but you can mend the pieces you do have and move on.
4. Never let someone become your whole life.
I feel like this is obvious, but for some people, its not. I don't care what you say, but if you really truly love someone, they are not your whole life. You are your own person, you were your own person before them, and you will continue to be your own person after them. It may feel like you can't live without them but you are not a Siamese twin, and you can survive without your "other half". I've seen this happen to alot of couples, people get involved and they loose sight of who they are, and trust me, I've been in that position and I've seen friends in that position. It doesn't make you cute, it makes you fucking annoying and a shitty friend because we became friends with you for a reason, and if you suddenly seem to forget your entire personality when you start dating someone else, then you're not our friend...you're some weird leech-thing. Anyway, maintain yourself while in a relationship, spend time apart, go see your friends, remind yourself of who you were and still are before them.
So it seems that this turned into less of a truths and more of "how not to completely fuck shit up " guide. Cynical? Yes. Bitter? Probably. Honest? Fuck yes. Do I care? Meh.