Being the Bigger Person
For a long time this has bothered me. Really bothered me. If being the bigger person gets you ahead then why haven't I seen any improvement? Right, I know, I can't control everyone but it's exhausting being so nice to someone who treats you like an enemy, who's always defensive against you, always competitive, when you're not trying to compete.
Half of me wants to say fuck it, and just bitch at this person. But then again, that's not what grown-ups do. And despite the remarks about my looks, my intelligence or the implications that I'm a whore, I still want to right whatever it was I did to wrong this person. I must be insane.
The worst part is, whenever I think things are getting better, when this person seems to be civil towards me, even friendly, it stops with one snide comment. I know I'm probably reading into these comments too much, I mean it is the internet, they could be directed at anyone, but for some idiot reason I always feel like they're a shot at me.
I know I need a thicker skin in this case, but this person has never said one nice thing about me, not one, just these comments so its hard to think they're anything but malicious. I know some people will never like you and that's just the way things are, but If I have to deal with this person on a regular basis then I'd like to at least have a civil relationship. Is that so much to fucking ask for?
Half of me wants to say fuck it, and just bitch at this person. But then again, that's not what grown-ups do. And despite the remarks about my looks, my intelligence or the implications that I'm a whore, I still want to right whatever it was I did to wrong this person. I must be insane.
The worst part is, whenever I think things are getting better, when this person seems to be civil towards me, even friendly, it stops with one snide comment. I know I'm probably reading into these comments too much, I mean it is the internet, they could be directed at anyone, but for some idiot reason I always feel like they're a shot at me.
I know I need a thicker skin in this case, but this person has never said one nice thing about me, not one, just these comments so its hard to think they're anything but malicious. I know some people will never like you and that's just the way things are, but If I have to deal with this person on a regular basis then I'd like to at least have a civil relationship. Is that so much to fucking ask for?