Gone Again
I feel this absurd sense of deprivation, as though my life has fizzled into emptiness; i guess it must be the studying, or rather the constant environment that forces pimples out of their skins and causes massive outbreak on your face while you attempt to salvage the surface area with stuffs.
The sudden sense of loss; I've been asking myself a lot of questions on the ephemeral nature of life; when things can just disappear off the face of this year, or why we feel. I wished I didn't feel; because without happiness, there would not be expectation of happiness, without expectation, then there would not be the propensity to feel pain. I mean, I would rather not feel pain than feel happiness when most of the time you feel pain, underpinning the temporal happiness, underneath it is the very nature of pain and suffering.
Why do we feel.
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On a side note, the study environment is seriously stifling, if I could study what I really wanted to study I would feel a lot happier; this environment of notions of 'success' and hegemony imposed by the school really kills the joys of studying. Some people really need to chillax and just relax for once. I really can't stand those who try so damn hard to a point when one's behaviour affects the rest, unnecessary pressure on the res to do as well; when you have a peer who constantly asks you questions of "do you know ... or have you studied..." and then enters a stream of consciousness monologue aloud - that is a study environment that isn't healthy.
My teenage dream is to have take drugs; live in a beach home; have someone to hug to sleep. chemistry, physics math geography history english chinese literature isn't gonna help me realise my dream. i'm sure all of us know that. so why study. because parents know better? i'm sure. ._.
The sudden sense of loss; I've been asking myself a lot of questions on the ephemeral nature of life; when things can just disappear off the face of this year, or why we feel. I wished I didn't feel; because without happiness, there would not be expectation of happiness, without expectation, then there would not be the propensity to feel pain. I mean, I would rather not feel pain than feel happiness when most of the time you feel pain, underpinning the temporal happiness, underneath it is the very nature of pain and suffering.
Why do we feel.
-----
On a side note, the study environment is seriously stifling, if I could study what I really wanted to study I would feel a lot happier; this environment of notions of 'success' and hegemony imposed by the school really kills the joys of studying. Some people really need to chillax and just relax for once. I really can't stand those who try so damn hard to a point when one's behaviour affects the rest, unnecessary pressure on the res to do as well; when you have a peer who constantly asks you questions of "do you know ... or have you studied..." and then enters a stream of consciousness monologue aloud - that is a study environment that isn't healthy.
My teenage dream is to have take drugs; live in a beach home; have someone to hug to sleep. chemistry, physics math geography history english chinese literature isn't gonna help me realise my dream. i'm sure all of us know that. so why study. because parents know better? i'm sure. ._.