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Here, for your personal edification, is my Two-Minute Review of the Lindsay Lohan shitfest, I Know Who Killed Me.
Wait, did I say "shitfest"? I meant "thriller". No, wait... I meant "shitfest".
Let me just start by saying that the young Ms. Lohan is a very... "well-endowed" young woman, and this movie takes complete advantage of that fact. She spends most of the film in tight, or low-cut shirts, short-shorts, and the occasional pole-dance in lingerie. (The pole-dances are as bad as the rest of the movie, by the way.)
From the way the bulk of the movie looks, I'm sure that someone (like the director) was hoping for lots of reviews that started a paragraph with, "There is an interesting use of color in this movie." Unfortunately for him, the use of color is anything but interesting. In fact, everything in the damn move is blue. EVERYTHING. Clothing, background sets, cars, tools, the screen even flashes blue when "important" or "scary" things happen. There is so much blue that I was quite sick of it by the time the movie was half over.
There really is very little to recommend this movie to anyone. I watched it with two other projectionists, and we spent most of the movie talking about how much everything sucked. The acting sucked. The writing sucked. The editing sucked. The direction sucked. Even the plot twists sucked.
Final Grade for the Movie: C-
Final Grade for Lindsay Lohan's Body: A-
Wait, did I say "shitfest"? I meant "thriller". No, wait... I meant "shitfest".
Let me just start by saying that the young Ms. Lohan is a very... "well-endowed" young woman, and this movie takes complete advantage of that fact. She spends most of the film in tight, or low-cut shirts, short-shorts, and the occasional pole-dance in lingerie. (The pole-dances are as bad as the rest of the movie, by the way.)
From the way the bulk of the movie looks, I'm sure that someone (like the director) was hoping for lots of reviews that started a paragraph with, "There is an interesting use of color in this movie." Unfortunately for him, the use of color is anything but interesting. In fact, everything in the damn move is blue. EVERYTHING. Clothing, background sets, cars, tools, the screen even flashes blue when "important" or "scary" things happen. There is so much blue that I was quite sick of it by the time the movie was half over.
There really is very little to recommend this movie to anyone. I watched it with two other projectionists, and we spent most of the movie talking about how much everything sucked. The acting sucked. The writing sucked. The editing sucked. The direction sucked. Even the plot twists sucked.
Final Grade for the Movie: C-
Final Grade for Lindsay Lohan's Body: A-