Gray day
So right now I just kinda wished I could have my old dreams back for a few minutes. Like the ones about going to medical school. Or living in D-town forever. I miss my friends. And its just a dreary day up here. I want to see Liz's new haircut. I want to hang with Stephie-butt and drag her to get her dress for my wedding. I want to chill with my boys. Or watch the horror of many innocent deaths with Judson for hours on end! (or maybe even just clean his room!:P) But alas, the world has moved on, and I have moved on with it. I can never go back. I am not there anymore. I am here now.
And don't get me wrong, I like here just fine. I am so happy and so in love. I am content in my life, and adore my job! I just applied for a promotion, and the wedding is less than six months away. My life could not be going any better. I even have started going back to doctors again because I'm covered under insurance for the first time since I was 18. And these are good doctors. I am so happy. And yet I think its the weather.
Its not second thoughts because I'd never back out. I want to marry Brian with all of my being! Its not cold feet or nerves. I have never been so calm about a decision in all my life. I think its just that its so cold and gray for the middle of May and last night I dreamt that someone from my past came back to me. I just need a little more sunshine and warmth and I think I'll be fine once more! (That and my few minutes of angst on livejournal.) :P
And don't get me wrong, I like here just fine. I am so happy and so in love. I am content in my life, and adore my job! I just applied for a promotion, and the wedding is less than six months away. My life could not be going any better. I even have started going back to doctors again because I'm covered under insurance for the first time since I was 18. And these are good doctors. I am so happy. And yet I think its the weather.
Its not second thoughts because I'd never back out. I want to marry Brian with all of my being! Its not cold feet or nerves. I have never been so calm about a decision in all my life. I think its just that its so cold and gray for the middle of May and last night I dreamt that someone from my past came back to me. I just need a little more sunshine and warmth and I think I'll be fine once more! (That and my few minutes of angst on livejournal.) :P