(no subject)
I'm at the second night at my new job at Botsford Hospital. It's more boring than I can describe. I'm sure that if I were being trained by someone who gave a shit, there might actually be something to do once in a while, but that's clearly not the case. It's almost 1:30 AM, and I of course have no supervisor here this late, so I'm really not even worried about pretending to do anything. My supervisor earlier in the night told me that she wanted to come by to talk to me and ask me some things, and I felt so affronted by the idea. I think that I'm so accustomed to passionately hating my job that I've definitely walked into this one on the wrong foot-I am so completely bothered by the prospect of having to do anything. I've brought three textbooks today with me; I did get through one chapter of one of them. Mostly, though, I have been playing on the internet, trying to find an apartment.
Gaurav called me today to say that he got into the program at school, but his parents will not pay for him to come live over on my side of town. Either he must remain at home in Saline, or he needs to move within walking distance of WSU. Since I'll be spending so much time on campus, I've been thinking that moving there wouldn't be such a bad idea anyway. Besides, I'd actually have a roommate whom I anticipate I could tolerate, so my living situation would be much cheaper.
I eat so much.
I kid you not, this program at school is like being in med school. I feel completely overwhelmed and have nothing but doubt about my ability to succeed. Every day is a different anxiety attack. I am just amazed at how much work I'm going to have to put into these classes, how much time it's going to take, and how hard some of the material is. I thought anatomy and physiology of the speech mechanism was the hardest class I have ever taken; now, I'm in a neuroscience class which is basically an anatomy class of the brain. Hell.
I haven't had a drink yesterday or today, which is good. I have had very strong urges, but I just can't afford to take the slightest chance. Physically, I largely feel a mess, but it's nearly impossible for me to pick apart any of my ridiculous symptoms and try to discern their etiologies. There's no way my stomach functions normally; I eat way too much, and have some abdominal discomfort nearly all of the time. I feel "insubstantial" a great deal of the time, which is the way that I've been describing it to myself. I feel too lightheaded to even have my feet on the ground. The list of these silly psychosomatic symptoms goes on. Bah.
Gaurav called me today to say that he got into the program at school, but his parents will not pay for him to come live over on my side of town. Either he must remain at home in Saline, or he needs to move within walking distance of WSU. Since I'll be spending so much time on campus, I've been thinking that moving there wouldn't be such a bad idea anyway. Besides, I'd actually have a roommate whom I anticipate I could tolerate, so my living situation would be much cheaper.
I eat so much.
I kid you not, this program at school is like being in med school. I feel completely overwhelmed and have nothing but doubt about my ability to succeed. Every day is a different anxiety attack. I am just amazed at how much work I'm going to have to put into these classes, how much time it's going to take, and how hard some of the material is. I thought anatomy and physiology of the speech mechanism was the hardest class I have ever taken; now, I'm in a neuroscience class which is basically an anatomy class of the brain. Hell.
I haven't had a drink yesterday or today, which is good. I have had very strong urges, but I just can't afford to take the slightest chance. Physically, I largely feel a mess, but it's nearly impossible for me to pick apart any of my ridiculous symptoms and try to discern their etiologies. There's no way my stomach functions normally; I eat way too much, and have some abdominal discomfort nearly all of the time. I feel "insubstantial" a great deal of the time, which is the way that I've been describing it to myself. I feel too lightheaded to even have my feet on the ground. The list of these silly psychosomatic symptoms goes on. Bah.