LJ Idol: Week 4: The Elephant in the Room
Where do you begin?
Maybe more importantly, how do you begin?
Once upon a time, it would have been easy. Before, when the words came so easily, when time together was everything. But that isn't the reality anymore. Where warmth once existed, only harsh cold remains. The light's gone, replaced by darkness... not that there ever was much light, but that's a different story entirely and besides the point of this post.
On the one hand, darkness isn't that scary--it's almost liberating, really. In the darkness, no one can see you.
On the other, I have different fingers.
More seriously, in the darkness, no one can see you, but on the flip side of that, you can't see anything. You can't know if anything is out there, just waiting. But you do know: a chasm, immeasurable in width, length and depth. On the other side... well, whatever's on the other side, you probably want it. If you didn't, there probably wouldn't be a chasm.
A chasm of guilt, of pain and heartbreak. Of emotions unspoken, of thoughts kept close.
Maybe it can be bridged.
Maybe it's not so wide.
But you can't know any of that, not without trying. But that is... an impossible task--or at least it feels like one. And the longer you go without crossing the chasm, the harder it gets to cross, to take that first step. The harder it is, the more you put it off.
And sometimes, if it goes on long enough, others start noticing. Bit hard not to, when people who liked each other are just... faltering around each other. But they can't do anything either. Soon enough, therefore, everyone knows about it and knows damn well not to mention it.
I wish I hadn't responded to her text. Then maybe there wouldn't be another chasm opened up.