LJ Idol: Week 3: It's A Trap
I just wasted four hours with my partner. I don't even know why.
...no. I do.
I was stupid. Yeah, I was hurt; things haven't been as been as I'd like them to be. I like snuggling with her, but just snuggling as she seems to want is not enough for me, not online. I want to do more, connect more... deeply. Actually feel like we shared time together. I know she's talking to other people... and really, that's what I want. To actually talk, to feel like she wants to be around me, doing stuff.
The hurt... the anger... it's all valid feelings. I hurt and I want her to know I'm hurting, want her to love me and support me... and when it seems she doesn't... *shrugs*
It's too seductive. I give in to the pain and a morning that would have been nice to have with her is gone, wasted in a morning of fighting, of ignoring each other because we're hurting and upset even worse now.
I feel like an idiot.